SO my theory about the meteor turned out to be a complete and total bust, not that I'm surprised.

But even though I have a really shitty track record, I'm still going to call another thing. Hussie will end Homestuck on 4/13/14. Why do I believe this? Because if you read the numbers backward it is still 4/13/14. CALLING IT!

WARNING: Contains Chatlogs only, and Equius and America bashing. Just so you know, I love America and my PT. I'm sorry the story is so chatlog heavy, but that isn't going to stop anytime soon, since this is the only form of communication Dirk and Karkat have at the moment.

I do not own Homestuck. It sounds like too big of a responsibility. Kudos to Hussie for surviving this long.

timaeusTestified began trolling at 10:54pm

TT: What time zone are you in?

CG: What the fuck makes you think I would tell you that?

TT: Well, I did a little research. Alternia's off the east coast, which means its way past bedtime for angsty little teens like you.

CG: Do you even fucking pay attention?

CG: I said I don't live there anymore.

CG: And I bet your research consisted of fucking google maps. You wouldn't know jackshit about Alternia. Fuck, I bet you didn't even know Alternia was a country before you had to look up what a nooksniffer was!

TT: Actually, I already told you my brother knows several Alternians, and my one friend knows an enthusiast.

CG: Like I bother to remember such trivial details about who your brother spends his time with. Or that you even have a brother in the first place.

CG: Is he as much of an asshole as you? I doubt it.

TT: Hypocritical AND immature.

TT: I bet everybody loves you, wherever in hell you are.

CG: HAH. HAHAHA. Look at how hard I am laughing. Your play on words was so fucking hilarious I can barely type. I can't even see my screen through my tear-filled eyes I am laughing so hard.

CG: AHAHAHAHA

CG: Your humor has metaphorically slain me. I am now residing in the hell which you referenced earlier.

TT: You are so melodramatic.

CG: Better melodramatic than YOU.

TT: You're not on your A-game today. Did something happen?

CG: How the fuck would you know whether or not I'm on my A-game?

CG: Did you stop to think that, just maybe, I don't put forth my full effort for a nooksniffer like you?

CG: Did you ever consider the possibility that maybe I am saving my best material for someone who isn't a complete imbecile and is actually worth my fucking time?

TT: Sorry.

TT: Next time I will try to keep my completely legitimate and utterly sincere concerns to myself.

CG: Good.

TT: Do you know how hard that is?

CG: What are you talking about?

TT: Do you know how hard it is to not show my concern about other beings.

TT: I sit up for hours at night, staring out my window, wondering; Does the little old lady with the cookies ever have company? Do the kids eating the cookies get enough to eat at home? How many puppies have you kicked today?

CG: I cannot believe you just referenced something from our first conversation. How unoriginal can you be?

TT: I was just trying to prove that I do, in fact, pay attention.

TT: But if it bothers you that much, I'll try something new now.

CG: Oh really?

TT: yes really.

TT: Are you ready?

CG: Jegus, just fucking get on with it. How am I supposed to show you what an incompetent being you are when you're too fucking incompetent to even do anything?

TT: Okay

TT: Here it goes

timaeusTestified ceased trolling

CG: FUCK YOU

carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling

timaeusTestified began trolling at 10:12pm

CG: You little son of a bitch

TT: It's nice to talk to you too, Sunshine.

CG: I am mature enough to admit that you had me fooled last time. But do not think I am going to put up with your bullshit again.

TT: If you want me gone, why don't you just block me from the room?

CG: I would LOVE to, but only TA and Ct have the authority.

TT: Who are those two?

CG: Do you know anything about this site, or were you just looking for prepubescent boys your own mental age to harangue?

CG: twinArmageddons and CenTaursTesticle. They run TeamTroll. And un-fucking-fortunately, TA refuses to keep you out of here for good!

TT: Why's that? Does TA think you're an obnoxious asshole, and refuses to help you?

CG: Just shut the fuck up.

CG: He normally leaves people to their own devices, but when I complained about you he looked up our logs. He thought you were just so FUCKING HILARIOUS!

TT: So not only was I right about what he thinks of you, he's like some kind of chat room voyeur?

CG: Do not project your own perversions onto TA. He is twice the person you could ever hope to be.

TT: Just admit it, you didn't ask to have me banned. You just like me too much to stop talking to me.

CG: Not even in your dreams, fuckass.

TT: Oh really? Then why are you continuously on this chat room, waiting for me to show up?

CG: I am in this room because I keep hoping that through some 'MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLe', to borrow TC's terminology, someone NOT YOU will log in and I can have a decent conversation.

CG: Apparently this is a foolish hope, because you refuse to fucking leave me alone.

CG: Besides, this is MY chat room, so I don't have to do anything. If anyone here has the crush, it's you.

TT: Ah, you see right through me.

TT: I am completely and hopelessly in love with you.

CG: Fucking sicko.

TT: Now, now. There is no need to think I am disgusting for falling for you. I'm sure you have at least one quality that makes you not entirely repulsive and unfit for romantic interactions.

CG: People like you are the reason I am so unpleasant in the first place. If you weren't such a gog-awful excuse for a human being, and if there weren't so many others like you, perhaps society would have a chance at some sort of improvement.

CG: Instead, there are nooksniffers like you dragging down the learning curve, drowning the world in your stupidity.

TT: Sorry the US can't have such a stellar education system like Alternia. You know, where a ginormous fucking chunk of kids don't even get to go to school.

CG: How the fuck do you know about that?

TT: I got bored and looked up a few things. Just because you're an asshole doesn't mean Alternia isn't interesting.

CG: Right. And I bet you would just fucking love to talk all about how the United States of Assholes is so much better than Alternia.

TT: Don't flatter yourself.

TT: I said I got bored and looked up a few things, not wrote a thesis. Besides, I don't think there's any way to objectively say that one culture is superior to another.

TT: So just get off your high horse.

CG: Oh fuck

TT: That's all you have to say?

CG: Why did you type that word? Fuck.

centaursTesticle began trolling at 10:37

CG: FUCK

CT: Why is it that you are discussing horses?

CT: You know the r001es; stick to the topic of the room

TT: What's going on here?

CG: It's your fault fuckass.

CG: You had to type 'horse' and now look what happened, you imbecilic bastard.

CT: You will cease whatever discussion you were having before, unless you wish to move to the chat room specifically designated for equestrian dialogue.

CT: Furthermore, you will cease the 100d language, lowb100d. You know I have STRONG feelings about your foul mouth.

CG: Go to hell, centaurdick. I'm not in the mood to deal with you right now.

CT: You should be more respectful. I order you to be polite.

CT: But only if you so desire.

CG: Oh my gog, shut up. Just stab me through the brain

CT: That is a rather atrocious thing to say. I command you to cease this behavior at once.

CT: You would get your wonderful, disgusting b100d all over the f100r.

CT: I hope you will excuse me, I need a towel.

centaursTesticle ceased trolling

CG: Are you happy now?

CG: Are you satisfied now that we had to listen to that awkward ball of fuck?

TT: I'm not really sure I understood.

TT: Was he coming onto you?

CG: No. He just has some severe issues.

CG: Actually, after listening to that, you don't seem so depraved. But never, EVER type in that fucking word again, anything relating to it, or his username. He's got the system set up so that he gets an alert, and then we get to listen to him try to not get off to the conversation.

TT… That's why you purposely didn't type it in case sensitive.

CG: You are so smart! Would you like a fucking cookie, Captain Obvious?

TT: Only if it gives me a mouthgasm

CG: I take it back. CT is way less perverted than you. You are the single most depraved person I have ever had the misfortune of interacting with.

TT: There was something else that surprised me about your conversation with him.

CG: You mean there was something more interesting than the less than subtle innuendos? Please, enlighten me.

TT: I was more interested in his thing about blood.

CG: No.

TT: I haven't even said anything yet.

CG: I don't care. That is a cultural thing, and I am not going to take the time to explain it to you. It isn't your business anyway.

carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling

timaeusTestified ceased trolling