Longest chapter yet! i hope you all like this, took me a while to write it.
I'm loving the reviews and PM's keep them coming!
updates might take a little longer but should be at least two a week maybe three if you're nice to me ;)
enjoy.
Chapter 12
"Fuck!" Santana sprayed the liquid in her mouth over the two unfortunate blonde girls sitting opposite her. "This stuff tastes like shit!" She walked over to the sink and poured the last of the decaf coffee down the drain. "How do you expect me to last the entire day without coffee?" Santana asked incredulously waving her arms around for emphasis.
Brittany used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe away the coffee that was dripping off her face. "The doctor said no caffeine, San." She scolded. "It will mess up your heart beat, right?" she turned to look at Quinn to make sure she was right. When Quinn nodded a huge smile spread across her lips and even reached her eyes.
Truth is, Brittany had stayed up most nights in the past week looking on the internet for information about Santana's condition, crying over and over again as she read the chances of the brunette ever getting a new heart or all the life stories people had put on websites for others to read.
Admittedly, she had fallen asleep more than twice with her face on the key bored so she'd woken up with squares all over her face. Santana couldn't stop laughing at her though so it wasn't all bad.
"But it's disgusting, B!" Santana wined like a three year old.
"I don't care. I'm not going to lose you just because you were too stubborn to stop drinking coffee." Brittany said coldly and with a little more emotion than she'd meant to use. "I di-" Brittany couldn't speak; she knew Santana hated when people said stuff like that.
Quinn froze as she looked between the two girls in front of her. Expecting the Latina to snap at the blonde or to break down into a fit of tears she moved away and backed herself into a corner.
But what happened was the complete opposite to what she expected. Santana turned to the blonde and gave her an unreadable look before slowly leaving the kitchen. Her bedroom door slammed behind her causing both blonde's to flinch.
"Shit." Brittany mumbled and sat back down on the stool. Quinn finally decided to leave the safety of her corner and sat down with the taller girl.
"It's okay, Britt. She's just moody because she hasn't had her coffee in a week." She reassured Brittany while she wiped up the remainder of the sprayed liquid. Brittany knew she was right but she still felt bad.
"Come on, we got to get this place ready for tonight!" Quinn announced trying to get Brittany's mind off of Santana for a little while.
Quinn walked over to a box of alcohol and started setting it out on a table they had sat up by the far window in the living room, she set out some bottles of coke and other fizzy pop for mixing in with the alcohol and for Santana since she couldn't be drinking any of her beloved Jack Daniels.
Brittany was rushing around the kitchen cleaning everything before moving on to other parts of the apartment trying to make it look presentable. She was so nervous about seeing her parents. She missed them so much; she hadn't spoken to them in a little over a month but what she was more worried about was them being in a room with her friends. She knew they like Quinn and Santana the three had been friends forever but they hadn't met her other friends and she was scared in case they didn't like them.
She knew her parents were hard to please, very judgmental and kind of homophobic-
Oh god, Kurt and Blaine, Quinn and Rachel. Oh god. "Oh god!" they hadn't seen Quinn since the start of senior year; they didn't know she was gay. "Quinn!" she practically screamed at the top of her lungs.
Seconds later Quinn charged into the kitchen closely followed by Santana, both wearing panicked looks and looking around the room for danger. "What's wrong?" they both shouted. Santana rushed to Brittany's side and wrapping her arms around her waist, all awkwardness from earlier completely gone.
"You're gay, Quinn!" both girls looked at each other and then to Brittany with confused expressions.
"I know, B. I've been with Rachel for seven months…" she said slowly making sure she understood.
Brittany shook her head flustered. "My parents don't know!" she waved her hands around to empathise her point.
The two girls in front of her looked at each other before both of their expression turned hard and cold as realisation settled in. "Oh." They both said in unison.
"Oh god." Brittany started to panic again. Both Santana and Quinn knew Brittany's parents well enough to know that they wouldn't approve of homosexuals.
"It's okay, Brittany. I'll tell Rachel, Blaine and Kurt that we have to cut down the PDA for the night, okay?" she reassured the blonde.
"I'm sorry, I just don't want them freaking everyone out or giving you all a lecture." Brittany sighed sadly but Quinn just shook her head and held up her hand to say it was all okay.
"Now come on we need to get this place ready!" Quinn shouted as she clapped her hands and ushered the two girls out of the kitchen and gave them both jobs to get done before the party.
Santana and Brittany went back to normal like Brittany had never made the comment about the coffee. Quinn just rolled her eyes, she'd known the girls for most of her life but she still couldn't understand them sometimes.
Maybe it was just because they were so madly in love with each other, little arguments and mood swings didn't natter like it did to other people. She could understand that, she and Rachel were exactly the same. Well apart from the fact the Rachel had the worst mood swings known to man and would drive any person insane no matter how much you loved her.
Quinn giggled at herself and rolled her eyes just like Santana would if she could hear the blonde's thoughts. She looked back over to Brittany and Santana who were cuddled up on the sofa picking and the snacks that were meant for the party. She thought it was ridiculous that they still hadn't started dating yet. Santana could be so stubborn sometimes.
Music pounded through apartment vibrating off all the walls – Santana was surprised no one had come round to complain about it yet - and sending ripples through Santana glass of coke. She frowned down at the drink in her hand then turned to Rachel next to her who was drinking a 'sex on the beach'.
"Just a little one?" she moaned at Rachel practically begging the girl. Her mouth was watering at the thought of sipping on a Jack Daniels.
"No, Santana. I will not be held responsible for you collapsing or dropping dead on us." She deadpanned.
Santana was slightly taken aback by how Rachel could just blurt that stuff out when everyone else around her acted so cautiously and awkward about the whole situation. She scowled harshly at the girl who just shrugged and smiled back at her. "Watch it, Berry." She smiled back before heading off to help Brittany and Quinn with whatever they were doing.
However, before she could reach the blonde there was knocking at the door. "Early much?" she mumbled to herself. They'd told people the party started at seven, but when people give a time they usually mean turn up two hours later so that meant it was either their parents or Kurt and Blaine.
She carelessly opened the door with a blank expression on her face but when she saw who was standing in her doorway her eyes bugged, her breath hitched and her mouth turned dry. "Mamá y papá." She mumbled. "Come in…" she stepped to the side to let her parents in; she hadn't expected them to even turn up.
"This is Rachel." She gestured over to the smaller brunette who had already extended her hand out to Santana's parents and was introducing herself. "Mr and Mrs Lopez, it is a pleasure to meet you." She slurred slightly tipsily.
"Nice to meet you to, Rachel. I'm Marco and this is my wife Maribel." he smiled kindly at the brunette in front of him.
Her father seemed to like her and had started a full on conversation with the girl about what she was doing at NYADA. Her mother just stood to the side and nodded her head.
Santana excused herself and ran off to the kitchen. "Q! Your girlfriend is talking to my parents. Go out and make sure she doesn't get eaten alive." She hissed.
Quinn nodded with a giggle. "Yes boss!" she saluted and stumbled from the kitchen.
"Fuck! Is she drunk?" Santana turned to face a flushed Brittany who was leaning lazily back on the fridge with a bottle of vodka half drank. "Are you drunk?"
Brittany placed her hand over her heart and feigned hurt. "No! I am… completely sober!" she sang with a slight slur, right hand held in the air and walked over to the Latina and pocked her roughly in her shoulder. "You're drunk." She snapped her finger like a diva soppily in front of her face.
Santana snatched the bottle from the girl's hands and put it back into a cupboard. "Try not to drink for a little longer, okay? Your parents will be here soon." Brittany's eyes widened at the mention of her parents and let Santana lead her out into the living room with everyone else.
By this point Kurt, Blaine, Finn and Sam had all turned up and were sitting on the sofa talking and catching up. "Hi guys!" Brittany waved over cheerfully to them as they cheered and waved back.
Finn and Sam had gotten their own club somewhere in Florida and were doing pretty well for themselves. They both had huge apartments and way too many girlfriends at one time.
"Kurt. Come here." Santana waved over to the person she knew she could trust not to try anything with the blonde and was at least sober. "Look after Brittany. Her parents don't like it when she's drunk." Kurt nodded his head and took Brittany to sit with everyone.
Santana sighed and went over to stand with her father who was now pouring himself a drink while her mother was deep in convocation with Rachel. She squeezed the bridge of her nose and clenched her eyes shut. This was going to be a long night.
She had been standing with Puck and Artie for nearly an hour, listening to how amazing their lives in LA was and how cool their place was they were sharing until they had enough money to buy a better and bigger house.
She was glad to hear that Artie had decided to help Puck out with his pool cleaning business. They'd become such good friends since high school and Puck really needed someone he could trust after Quinn and the whole Beth thing.
Suddenly, Santana heard her name been called from the other side of the room and headed over to the tall blonde woman. She was thankful to get out of that boring conversation with the two men.
"Mrs Pierce. How are you?" Santana smiled politely up at Brittany's mother who was the spitting image of each other. However, no matter how sweet Brittany was, she clearly didn't inherit that from her mother. Santana felt so nervous around the older blonde, it was very rare that anyone could do this to Santana.
"Santana," she smiled back. "How many times must I tell you, please call me Susan."
Santana blushed and ducked her head. "Sorry, Mrs- err Susan. I always forget."
"It's fine darling." She giggled. "Any way, I'm so deeply sorry to hear about you, Santana. I was so shocked when your mother told me, I couldn't believe it."
Santana ducked her head to avoid eye contact. She hated conversations like this; she didn't want Mrs- Susan to feel sorry for her. She never knew what to say and would just end up shrugging her shoulders or mumbling something stupid.
Susan obviously saw how uncomfortable the girl was and decided to change the subject. "So, Kurt and Blaine?" she asked with a cocked eyebrow and nodded her head to the group of people on the other side of the room.
Santana looked over to the two boys. Blaine was off his face drunk – as was everyone else for that matter, not including the parents - and was cuddling up to Kurt. "What about them?" they weren't the only two hadn't stuck to the whole 'no PDA in front of the parents thing'. Quinn and Rachel had been all over each other all night but hopefully the older coupls hadnt noticed.
"You don't mind them? As a couple I mean?" Santana didn't know how to respond. She knew Brittany's parents weren't the most accepting people; she was thankful they liked her, not a lot of people did but for some reason the Pierce's did, but she didn't want to say the wrong thing and have Brittany's mother change her mind about her.
"They're good friends, and they've helped a lot over the past couple of weeks with everything that's been going on. We all get along well." Santana stated slightly defensively.
Susan nodded slowly. "I see, I must go back to Lucas, He's looking a bit lonely.…" she gave Santana one last look then turned to walk away and sat down next to her husband who was sipping on a mixed drink that Quinn had handed him earlier.
Santana could tell that what she had just said was not the answer Mrs Peirce had wanted to hear and maybe she'd just ruined any good thoughts the woman had of her.
"Santana!" she spun round at her name being called across the room. All the glee kids were up close and dancing in the middle of the room apart from Tina and mike that were on the sofa catching up. Brittany was standing in the middle of everyone waving her over.
"Dance with me, San." She slurred into her ear. Santana shuddered as the blondes warm breath caressed the skin on her neck, her breath caught in her chest when she felt hands grip her hips.
Their hips started swaying in sync. Santana lifted her arms and wrapped them around the back of the blonde's neck and let her guide their body's. "Are you having fun?"
"Hell yeah! I've missed everyone so much." Brittany replied with a slur. She was still drunk; Kurt hadn't done a very good job of keeping her away from alcohol. She was just glad she was sober so she could keep an eye on her. Santana smiled at how adorable the blonde was when she was drunk and stepped closer to the warm body.
A different song came on with a more upbeat tempo and everyone began to bounce up and down and swayed to the music. Brittany spun Santana round so her back was pressed to her front but kept her hands on her hips. Santana slowly began to grind into Brittany eliciting a quiet moan from her lips that could only be heard by the brunette. Santana grinned and pressed against her slightly harder, she could feel the grip tighten on her waist. "Santana…" she moaned into her ear. Santana had to clench her thighs tight together. A resilient pounding began to form in between her legs and she pressed harder into the blonde but it wasn't enough.
The blonde abruptly spun Santana back round to face her and forcefully pressed her thigh into the brunette's core. Santana whimpered and gripped hard at the back of the blonde's neck. Brittany's eyes suddenly went dark as lust burned through her body. She want more and she wanted it now.
The girl's didn't have to worry about anyone seeing what they were doing; everyone was too busy with their own dancing and grinding to notice. Quinn and Rachel were in a very compromising position on the sofa - they were practically humping for crying out loud - Sam and Mercedes were dancing rather couple like and Finn was teaching Puck some of his 'new moves'. He still looked like a beached whale trying to dance and really hadn't improved at all.
Brittany's heart was pounding so fast in her chest she began to feel dizzy. She could feel the heat from Santana's core through her pencil skirt and pressed her thigh up herder. She looked down at the Latina in her arms and saw that her eyes were clenched tightly shut.
Santana moaned twice as loud and dug her nails into the blonde's skin. She began to rapidly rock her hips against Brittany's leg, each time she got faster and faster, her heart rate got higher and higher. She was so close she could feel herself teetering over the edge; she just needed a bit more pressure right there and she-
"Santana Lopez!"
The Latina threw herself away from the blonde and stumbled back into Puck who caught her by her arms. She looked around frantically to find who had shouted her name, her heart skipped a beat – and not in the way the blonde would do to her – when she saw her mother standing with Brittany's parents, all three of them wearing the same disgusted glare.
She gulped down the rock that she could feel lodged in her throat and took a step back as if that would stop them from looking at her. As she looked around she noticed they weren't the only ones staring, every other pair of eyes were locked on her.
Turns out, their parents weren't just looking at her. "Brittany, what do you think you are doing?" Mr Pierce demanded.
Brittany stepped closer to Santana. She didn't know why, maybe it was to block any attack that might be directed towards the smaller girl, or maybe it was just because the Latina made her feel safe.
"We were just dancing, Dad." She answered with a wavering voice. She looked down to Santana for backup but she was just looking down at her feet.
All the glee kids had retreated to either the sofa or the kitchen, trying to get as far away from the families as they could.
"Don't lie to us, Brittany!" He practically screamed. "We've been watching the pair of you for the past ten minutes. How could you do something so sick? In front of all your friends as well!" He was waving his above his head, a thick vein popping out the side of his skull as the anger began to build up.
Santana could feel the familiar painful ache begin to throb in her chest, the room began to spin and everything sounded like she was underwater again. She could still see that everyone was arguing, Brittany had even begun to shout back.
"We were just dancing for the love of god!" she screamed at her father, she didn't feel as drunk anymore and could only focus on the fact that he had just called Santana and her 'sick'.
Santana wanted it all to stop. She wanted everyone to stop arguing and leave. She hated it when Brittany got angry, that wasn't how the blonde was. The room still hadn't stopped spinning and only seemed to get faster. The ache in her chest had turned into a burning pain that seared through her body, just like the time she had collapsed at work.
"Britt…" Santana whispered clutching at her chest and grabbing the blonde's arm with her free hand. Brittany didn't hear though, and carried on arguing with the three parents in front of her.
Suddenly she felt a strong set of hands wrap around her waist. She recognised them immediately and let her father carry her over to the sofa without Brittany, her parents or Santana's mother even noticing.
"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked frantically. His eyes racking over his daughter's body, he stopped when he noticed her clutching at her chest.
"Get my pills…" she groaned in pain. Before she knew it, Quinn was stumbling over with a glass of water and two small white tablets in her hand. Santana shook them shakily and gulped it all down.
She could see the rest of the glee kids surrounding her, all of them asking if she was okay or if they could do anything to help. She shook her head but that only made the dizziness worse. She could feel acid rising up her stomach and let her body keel over as the vomit hit the floor.
The shouting wouldn't stop and suddenly everything sounded ten times louder than it should, she could even hear them over the irregular beating of her heart pounding in her ears.
She knew this wasn't right, she knew she should probably go to the hospital but she wanted everyone to stop shouting. She had to stop Brittany from getting upset. They still hadn't noticed that she had curled up into a ball on the ground, too caught up in their argument.
"Stop…" she slurred out but she knew even her father who was right in front of her wouldn't have heard what she had said. She had to get their attention somehow. She had to be loud enough for them to notice. She took in a long, deep breath and shouted out the only thing that was stuck in her mind at the time. "I'm gay!"
The room fell silent and all eyes were on her. "What the fuck did you just say?" she felt like screaming at herself, of all the things she could have said, she said the thing that could possibly fuck everything up for her. Why had she said that? She knew she had feelings for Brittany, but that didn't necessarily mean she was gay, she had talked to Quinn about it that time and she told her it wouldn't be that bad if she was…
"Santana, don't be so stupid." Her mother snarled at her.
Here Santana was, collapsed down on the floor and all her mother could do was insult her even more.
In the time Santana had made her announcement and between her thoughts Brittany had rushed over to her side and pulled her upper body into her lap.
"She's putting disgusting thoughts into your head." Mrs Lopez pointed to Brittany. That's when the shouting started again, but this time the glee kids had joined in, defending their friends.
Mrs Lopez was insulting Blaine, Kurt, Quinn and Rachel for messing up her daughter's head, the Pierces shouting at Mrs Lopez for insulting their daughter. It was all one huge mess and Santana couldn't stand it anymore.
Just as she was about to scream at everyone and tell them all to leave her father was storming over to the group. "All of you! Go home or back to your hotels now!" His voice, strong and unwavering boomed over everyone else's causing them all to silence.
Puck was the first to move, slowly walking over to the door followed by Tina and Mike then finally the rest of the club. Quinn however was more hesitant about leaving. She looked down at the Latina in a bad state on the floor of the apartment. "San…" she looked between Santana and Brittany but not getting a response, instead she turned to Mr Lopez. "Call me if you need anything." He gave her a soft nod as she let Rachel pull her out of the door.
"Marco, what are you doing?" Mrs Lopez spat at her husband.
"I'm taking care of our daughter, something you can't seem to do properly. She's dying Maribel and all you can seem to do is call her disgusting and insult her. Your own daughter! Look at her." he said incredulously pointing over to the two girls on the floor. Santana's face had turned a ghostly white while the blonde's body was shaking, tears falling down her face as she clung to the Latina tightly.
"You're going to be okay, San." She cooed into her ear and laced their hands together. For some reason this made the Latina actually believe what the blonde was saying was true and let her body relax against Brittany's as she let the pills work their magic.
"How can you talk to your daughter like that?" he turned to the Peirce's who were gob smacked at the usually quiet man's sudden outburst. "She's a good girl and seems to be the only person who can look after my baby." Brittany's parents looked down at the girls and their facial expressions softened considerably, maybe even turned to guilt.
Marco turned back to his wife with a cold expression. "She is not some sort of accessory. She's a human that we brought into this world. How do you think you would feel knowing that our daughter died hating her parents for not being there for her?" His words were like knives stabbing his wife over and over.
She couldn't say anything; everything that was in her mind that she wanted to let out was blocked up behind too many walls she had built up over the years. Before she could let anyone see the tears that were building up behind her brown orbs she was running out of the door and back to her hotel room where they were staying.
Marco let out an exasperated sigh and stumbled back over to his daughter. Maybe he had more to drink than her realised or it could have just been the shock of finally standing up against his wife.
"You were great, papá." Santana smiled up at her father with a proud smile. His heart grew at least ten times the original size; he never thought he would see the day Santana would be proud of him.
"I love you." He smiled down at her with his eyes and pulled her into a gentle hug. "I have to go and talk to your mother though, I promise I'll be back around first thing in the morning." He kissed the top of her head before getting up to leave. He gave Brittany's parents a warning look before they followed closely behind him not even bothering to say anything to the blonde cradling Santana in her arms.
The two girls fell into silence. Somewhere during the arguing the music had been turned off and some of the pizza boxes had been put into the trash.
Brittany cupped Santana's cheek and stroked her thumb across the skin that was slowly gaining back its colour. She couldn't pull her eyes from hers and let herself slowly be pulled in by the beautiful array of different shades of brown.
Santana placed her hand on top of Brittany's. "I'm sorry I ruined the party." Her voice was horse and shaky.
Brittany shook her head as another wave of tears swept over her. She pressed her forehead against the Latina's and carefully picked the girl up like she could snap in two if she held on too tight. She carried her back to her room and placed her softly down in her bed. "You didn't ruin anything. This," she gestured to her chest, "wasn't your fault." She climbed into the bed next to her and pulled the sheets over their bodies.
"You're amazing, you know that, Britt?" Santana smiled to the blonde next to her and cuddled up against the warm body and wrapped her arms around her waist.
Brittany giggled softly. "Is your chest okay now?"
Santana nodded softly and rubbed her hand over her chest to prove her point. "It just got a bit out of control in there." She sighed. "You should get some sleep and burn off the rest of the alcohol." She mused and poked the girl in the ribs.
"I think I've burnt it all off screaming at my parents." Her voice had no emotion what so ever. "I'm sorry I didn't help you sooner. I've never been like that with them before, I just… I…" she stopped when Santana placed her hand on her cheek.
"Britt, it's okay." she shook her head and looked deep into the girls eyes. "We can talk to them tomorrow if you like? We can all go to 'Vibez' and have a meal?"
"That sounds good." Brittany smiled and kissed the top of Santana's head. She froze when she realised what she was doing. "Sorry, I shouldn't have done that…"
"It's okay." Santana smiled sweetly. "Just get some sleep okay?" Brittany nodded and lay back down onto the pillows with Santana's head on her chest.
After twenty minutes or so, Brittany's breathing evened out slightly and Santana sighed. She knew she could never say what she wanted to say if the blonde was awake. She didn't want her to see how fragile she really was behind all the walls she insisted on rebuilding over and over.
"I love you, Brittany. So ridiculously much it hurts. Not the kind of hurt I get when my heart fucks up but the kind of hurt that people only get from loving so much." She pulled herself closer to the blonde she could breathe in her sent.
Brittany tried to keep her breathing even as she listened to the Latina's words. She knew if she moved of hint that she was awake the Latina would stop talking. She wanted to hear what she had to say more than anything.
"Brittany, I'm so scared." her voice wavered slightly. "Sometimes I'll lie awake all night crying because I feel so alone, even though you're with me, it doesn't quite feel like it, you know?" She sniffed softly trying to hold back her emotions. "I don't want to die. I don't want to leave you. I want to have a life with you, I want everything a couple should be able to have, a wedding, a family, I want to be able to grow old with you, Britt." She couldn't stop now; her tears were pouring down her cheeks and landing on Brittany's chest. "I need you. But the thing that's killing me more than anything is the fact that I know I can't start anything with you. I can't break your heart, Brittany. That would kill me more than this stupid hole in my heart." She tapped her chest to empathise her point. "Maybe and bucket list isn't such a bad idea after all."
She was full on sobbing now and all Brittany wanted to do was pull her in closer and hug her tight but she couldn't because needed the Latina to keep on talking, she knew this was good for Santana to finally let everything out.
"I love you, Brittany." Santana reached up and placed a gentle kiss on Brittany's lips before lying back down on her chest and slowly falling into a deep slumber.