Hey guys! sorry this is a bit late, took me forever to get it done with all the school work i've had to get finished on time, i hope you all like it.
the song in this chapter is Macklemore 'Same Love'
if you have any suggestions for other songs you would like to hear in this then please PM me or leave a review. next chapter you should be finding out what Santana has on her Bucket List!
Keep reviewing! x
Chapter 13
Santana could feel the warmth radiating off of something underneath her, she pressed herself closer and wrapped her arms around it. "Mm." she moaned at the warmth spreading around her body. She didn't have the energy to open her eyes and see what it was she was hugging, her whole body was aching and she felt like she'd held her breath for an hour. She nuzzled her face into whatever she was wrapped around and took in a deep breath, it was then she realised who she was holding onto.
Her heart stopped momentarily as she slowly lifted herself up with her forearms to look down at the beautiful sleep blonde beneath her, a beam of sun light was streaming in through the open window and was shining right on her face. She looked perfect. She almost wanted to reach down and take her lips between her own but stopped herself when the previous night's events came rushing back to her in a hurry.
A small twinge of pain began to throb in her chest. She knew last night was way too much for her to cope with, her heart couldn't handle it. Maybe she should go to the hospital and get checked out…
Suddenly, there was a clatter of something hitting the floor in the kitchen followed by some quiet muffles. "Shit." Santana hissed. There was someone breaking into their apartment. "Britt!" Santana shook the blonde's shoulders roughly to wake her up but Brittany only mumbled some incoherent words under her breath and turned away from Santana. "There's someone in the kitchen…" she said a little more loudly into the blonde's ear. With that, Brittany's body jolted into an upright position, her eyes wide and frantic as she searched around the room for danger. She tactically rolled off the side of the bed and reached out for something in a box Santana had yet to but away. She carefully pulled out one of Santana first place cheerleading trophies she'd won in high school and tip toed over to the door.
Santana clambered off of the bed and clung to the back of her shirt. Brittany must have changed them both during the night… "Oh god she saw me naked…" she didn't have time to worry about that though; there was someone in her home.
She let Brittany lead them out of the bedroom quietly, not letting the door click open. Brittany held the trophy like a baseball bat and made sure Santana was protected behind her. There was another clatter in the kitchen, "Fucking hell! Would you be careful." Someone snapped.
There was something familiar about the voice though and Santana felt herself calm slightly but her heart was still pounding in her chest. Brittany gripped her hands tighter around the metal object and carried on walking down the hall, she risked a wary glance behind her to make sure Santana was okay. Just as they were about to round the corner to enter the living room, a bulky body came bounding past and bumped into Brittany sending her flying against the wall.
"Shit!" he said and ran over to the blonde to help her up. Brittany stared up with wide eyes.
"What the fuck, Puckerman?" Santana snapped angrily and pushed him away from Brittany to help the blonde up herself. "What the hell are you doing in here?"
He looked nervous for a second like he was scared to talk to the fuming Latina. "I… we… err, Quinn let us all in. she said we should help clean up but we didn't want to wake you two up after what… err… happened last night." He slowly backed away in case Santana lashed out.
"We?" Santana asked with a furrowed brow.
"Yeah…" Puck pointed behind him towards the rest of the room and the kitchen. Santana had completely unnoticed the rest of the glee kids and her father cleaning the rest of the apartment. She suddenly felt guilty and a deep red flush burned up her face. She hadn't realised she was still clinging to Brittany top until the blonde placed her hand on top of the tanned one and pulled it away with a sweet smile. "I don't think this lot are going to attack us." she giggled as she picked up the trophy that had landed on the floor. "I'll take this back. Go and take your meds." She ordered and pointed towards the coffee table where a strip of pills were sitting from the night before. The place was much cleaner than what it had been when Brittany had carried her off to bed and she almost felt bad that everyone had done this for her. Almost… she was glad she didn't have to do it herself.
She tipped her head back and swallowed the two pills. She kept her eyes closed and waited for the pills to kick in and get rid of the tightness in her chest. Unexpectedly, she felt the space on the sofa next to her dip as someone sat down. "Santana?" the voice was quiet and cautious and caused Santana to roll her eyes under her closed eye lids.
"What do you want, Berry?" Santana sighed and sat up to face Rachel. Her expression softened when she saw a sad but caring look on her face. "What's up?" she asked softer this time with the traces of a smile on her lips.
Rachel looked down at her hands not wanting to make eye contact with the other girl. "I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you if you ever need to talk about anything, I mean Brittany's awesome and everything but there's still something's she doesn't understand and Quinn can be slightly closed off about things at times and can be kind of awkward… like she still breaks down into a fit of tears if I ask how you are and then a minute later she will refuse to talk to anyone." she paused and finally looked up at a smiling Santana, "So, if you ever want to talk or anything, then I'm here for you."
Santana didn't know what to say, she was beyond happy that Rachel was willing to listen to her talk and be her friend after everything she had put her through in school. She leaned forward and pulled a speechless Rachel into a warming hug. "Thank you." She sniffed and tried to hold back more tears. What was it with her and crying lately?
"Get your hands off my woman, Lopez." Quinn giggled trying to do her best gangsta impersonation. She planted herself down into Rachel's lap and let the brunette pull her down into a kiss. Santana blushed slightly wishing that was her and Brittany and looked down at her hands in her lap. "Are you feeling okay, San?"
Santana nodded, "Just feeling really tired." Quinn nodded in understanding and placed her hand on top of hers.
"I was so worried about you last night; I wanted to punch your mom… no offence."
"So did I." Santana smiled sadly. "I think me and Britt are going to meet them all at the bar tonight and get a drink."
Quinn's head shot up in shock. "What? Are you mad? After the way they acted with you both last night?" her mouth was hanging open, she couldn't believe what the two girls were getting themselves into.
"I need to talk to my mom about what I said and I think Brittany needs to talk to hers, they owe us both an apology." Santana sighed and stood up to go and fine Brittany when Quinn's hand grabbed her wrist. She gave her a wary look that could have meant anything from 'be careful' or 'I'll kick their asses if they hurt you'. She leaned down and gave both girls a hug and wandered off to the kitchen where her father was talking to Brittany.
"Should we not take her to the hospital though? She'd never been that bad…" Brittany muttered, Santana could hear the pain and worry in her voice as she spoke. "I don't want a repeat of what happened last night tonight or any other night." The pair was facing away from the door making breakfast so hadn't yet spotted Santana.
"Neither do I. Brittany, I'm so sorry about what happened last night." Marco looked down into the frying pan and poked at whatever he was cooking, he was clearly feeling guilty about the way his wife had acted but both girls knew that this wasn't his fault.
"Mr Lopez, none of that was your fault, I really shouldn't have drunk so much and my parents definitely shouldn't have acted the way they did." Brittany sighed and placed her hands over her face. It looked like she was about to cry until she let out a dazed giggle. She couldn't believe the way everything ended up after she'd had so much fun; it took a split second for everything to turn upside down. Everything was just so messed up.
"I should have stepped in before anyone could have started shouting and then maybe San wouldn't have passed out…" he sighed sadly. "Maybe she would have been able to talk to me about how she's feeling instead of blurting it out like that. Her mother is furious." Santana caught a glimpse of his eyes and could see the battle raging in the deep hazel. He was holding back to the tears so hard that his bottom lip was quivering. The blonde pulled him into her arms and hugged him tight, quietly reassuring him that everything would be okay after tonight was over. Santana's heart shattered in her chest as she watched the two people she loved more than anything in the world looking so hurt and upset. Would it be worse than this when she was gone? Would all these people come to see Brittany and make sure she was okay? What if nobody did? She couldn't leave the blonde alone, not when she meant so much to her.
"Santana?" Brittany said as she pulled out of the hug with the Latina's father. "How long have you been standing there?"
"Not long. What are you cooking? It smells great." She tilted her head to get a better look of the pan on the hob.
"A full English breakfast for everyone." Her father said rather pleased with himself that he hadn't burnt anything yet like he normally did. Santana raised an eyebrow at the pair, could she trust these two to make a meal. Almost all the time it ended in disaster. She grinned to herself as the thought crossed her mind.
"Sounds delicious, how did you all get in?" she hoisted herself up onto the worktop where Brittany was mixing some eggs on a bowl. The blonde smiled up sweetly causing shivers to whirl through Santana's body.
"Quinn called everyone and told us to meet outside your building, she said she had a key and that we had to clean up or she would 'go all Lima Heights on out sorry butts' I was quiet shocked to hear your old words again." he smiled down at his daughter causing her to blush furiously.
Santana turned back to the blonde, "Thank you for defending me this morning." She winked at Brittany and an equally bright blush burned up her face.
"Well… I… I… wasn't going to let someone hurt anyone as small and helpless as you was I now?" she nudged the Latina playfully who slapped her shoulder and pretended to be insulted, when really she was more than happy that the blonde would do something like that for her.
"Britt-Britt, are you getting all defensive?" Santana giggled causing Brittany's face to go an even darker red. "I'm just kidding." Santana had broken out into a full on laughing fit at the looks Brittany was giving her and had to hold onto her father's shoulder to hold herself up. When she finally started to calm down her eyes were glued to Brittany's she didn't want to pull them away, she could look at them forever if she could. She could see all the different swirls of blues and silvers and the way the light reflected off of them made them sparkle.
"Hey Brittany, could you give me and Santana a minute to talk?" her father pulled both girls out of their trances and looked shyly at Brittany as if he's just said the most inappropriate thing in the world.
"Of course." Brittany smiled and placed the bowl of scrambled eggs in the Latina's lap. Santana wanted to reach out, pull her back and tell her to never leave her alone. She wanted to tell Brittany how much she loved her and desperately wanted to be with her. She knew that's what she wanted, more than anything in the world.
"Santana," her dad started cautiously. "You need to tell me what's going on so I know what I can do to help tonight if anything goes wrong again." she placed his hand on his daughters thigh causing the girl to make eye contact. Santana was reluctant to tell her father how she was feeling; this was all too new to her, just as much as it was to her father. "Please, mija."
Santana sighed; she knew it was the right thing to do. "I'm in love with, Brittany." Her voice was shaky and her hands trembled in her lap. What if her father was just in too much shock the night before to react to her announcement? What if he was actually really angry with her and was about to blow his top? "We've kissed… but… but…" she couldn't finish her sentence.
"But you don't want anything to happen because she will end up getting hurt." Her father finished for her, his voice was calm and soothing. Santana's eyes shot up to meet her father's. That was exactly what she was going to say. Her eyes turned glassy and soon her father disappeared into a haze of salty water. "Brittany's a big girl, Santana. I'm sure she understands what she is getting herself into. Anyway, there is still a chance that you could get a new heart." Santana shook her head sadly. She knew there was a very slim chance that would ever happen and there was no point in getting her hopes up. "Baby, look at me." he tilted her chin up to meet his eyes again. "Do you want to be with her?"
"More than anything." She stated simply like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She couldn't believe how easy it was for her to talk to her father about something like this when all her life she'd never talked to her parents about anything personal.
"Then nothing else should matter. Not even a silly problem like this." He placed his finger on her chest just above her heart.
There was a sudden flash of anger in her gut and all Santana could see was red. "It's not silly." She snarled. Her father was taken aback by her sudden change in emotion and stumbled backwards. "I'm dying." She slammed her fist against her chest hard and jumped down onto the floor. "My own mother hates me, I collapse every time my heart rate gets too high, I'm a lesbian in a world where the 'right' thing is the opposite to who I am and I can't change that. But you know what the worst thing of all is? I can't be with the woman I love because I'm so scared of hurting her and breaking her heart!" she slammed the door to the kitchen behind her and stormed out into the living room to see everyone staring at her. "What the fuck are you all looking at?" she yelled with her hands waving around in the air.
Everyone spun around and got back to what they were doing, everyone but Brittany and Blaine who were standing by the sofa staring at her after hearing everything. Santana fumed off towards her room, completely unaware of the two people following her.
She went to slam the door but when the clatter didn't follow she turned round to see what had blocked the door. Brittany was stood half in an half out of her bedroom; her hand was gripping the door an inch from her face and slowly pushed it open. She didn't wait for the brunette to let her in she just walked over to her bed and collapsed down with a loud huff, Blaine followed slightly more hesitantly. Brittany might be immune to the Latina's ferocious mood swings but he certainly wasn't.
"What the hell was that about?" Brittany asked a little louder than she intended to.
"You heard that huh?" Santana was calming down fast; it was something the blonde would do to her without even trying.
"The whole city heard you, Santana." Brittany deadpanned.
"Every word?" she looked down slightly embarrassed.
Blaine nodded, "Yes." His voice was cautious; he didn't want Santana going all crazy with him.
"Fuck." Santana mumbled and sat town on the bed between Blaine and Brittany. "I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me, I… I just snapped." She placed her face in her hands; she couldn't look at Brittany knowing all she would see would be disappointment.
Suddenly she felt a soft hand gazing across her chest and her head shot up to find Brittany stroking a pitch of skin above her heart that had turned red. "What did you do?" she asked her.
"I think I hit it when I was shouting…" she pulled away slightly from the blonde's touch that was causing goose bumps to erupt all over her body. The red mark was slowly beginning to turn purple and sting.
"Wait here." Brittany whispered and she took off to the bathroom leaving the two brunettes slightly clueless. They sat in silence for a couple of seconds not knowing what to talk about.
"Quinn tells me you two are going out with your parents tonight; I'm working the night shift tonight so I'll see you there." He smiled at Santana who leaned her head against his shoulder. She had suddenly begun to feel very comfortable around the man but she didn't know why. She just did.
"Cool." She shrugged acting like she didn't really care but they both knew she was relieved it was him rather than some random bar girl. "Blaine? I was wondering… would you want to sing a song with me tonight since Mark has just hired the new band?" she asked cautiously.
A beaming smile covered Blaine's face, "That sounds like a great idea, Santana. What did you have in mind?"
Just as she was about to answer Brittany returned with a wash cloth and placed it against Santana's chest, she gasped as an icy pain shot through her but faded as the stinging in her chest was replaced by relief. The purple blotch would hopefully have faded by tonight.
"It'll be okay." Brittany reassured Santana as they walked into the bar, her heart was racing in her chest and no matter how many times Brittany tried to calm her nothing was working. Ten minutes before they left to leave, Brittany had caught Santana downing her third shot and had almost punched the girl because she was so angry. "I'm still mad at you though. You know you shouldn't have been drinking alcohol. It will fuck up your heart."
"My heart, my little Britt-Britt, is as fucked up as they come." Santana slurred as they made their way to a far table where their families were already sitting. "Oh shit, do you think if we run now we can make it to Mexico or Germany before they see us?" Santana's voice was high pitched and squeaky as she tugged on Brittany's arm to get her away from the table but the blonde was stronger and sober and practically carried her across the room.
"It'll be okay, I promise." Brittany whispered into Santana's ear causing the smaller girl to shudder and lean against the blonde. "But you have to at least act sober or they will be pissed." Brittany wrapped an arm around Santana's waist to keep her up straight but tried to make it look less intimate as she could, she didn't want her parents getting the wrong idea and freaking out before they even had a chance to talk.
"Brittany, Santana." Both pairs of parents stood up and greeted their daughters. Brittany suddenly going quieter than she normally did. Santana just nodded and plonked herself down in her chair at the end of the table next to Brittany. They all sat in silence for a moment, no one wanted to be the first to break the ice, well no one who was sober. Santana let out a loud hiccup before squashing her hand against her mouth as if it would take back to sound. Her cheeks flushed and she looked to Brittany with a panicked look, the blonde just gave her a small smile and turned to her parents.
"So, anything you would like to say to Santana and me?" She said coldly to the two blonde parents to her right and Santana's mother to her left.
"What are you insinuating, Brittany? We haven't done anything wrong, you two on the other hand." Brittany's mother looked down at the two girls like they were in the wrong. Santana rolled her eyes and scoffed.
"Santana, don't be rude." Her mother scolded.
"Fuck this. I'm going home." Santana snapped and stood up to leave but stumbled over her chair leg in her drunken haze. Luckily, Brittany was there to catch her and slowly steadied the Latina.
Marco reached out and placed his hand on his daughter's wrist. "San, please stay." He begged.
"I don't see why I should when all they are going to do is insult us and put us down." She stated with a slight slur. Her father could obviously smell the alcohol on her breath and leaned back with a slight grimace.
"Please." He pleaded softly with puppy dog eyes. Santana couldn't resist and sat herself back down into a slouching position.
No one spoke for the next ten minutes. Santana played with the ice cubes in her water while Brittany made swans with her napkin then drowned it in her glass. Their food arrived a couple of minutes later and they tucked in, the only sound came from the scrapes of cutlery clinking against the cheap plates. The six of them exchanged awkward glances up until they had all finished and their plates were taken away.
"I'm just going to come out and say it," Brittany's father started. "I am extremely disgusted by the way the pair of you acted last night. I understand it was a party and you were having fun but I don't want to see that ever again." Brittany's fists clenched around her glass and stared daggers into her father's eyes. "If you choose to live that way, Santana, that's fine with us but Brittany, was not born that way and I will not allow you to date another woman" Brittany's hand clenched so tight that her glass shattered and water spilled out across the table. No one moved however and just stared at the blonde.
"She didn't choose that." She snapped. "And you can't tell me what I can or can't do. We aren't even dating. I'm ashamed to call you my parents." She stood up and wandered over to the bar and came back with what looked like a glass of rum and coke. Her parents were stunned into silence, their daughter had never stood up to them before, and frankly it scared them that she was doing it now. It showed them that she was growing up and learning to be independent. Who would they control now?
"Santana's not gay though." Maribel finally decided to pitch in with the ranting. "She's not a dyke, look at her! She's wearing a dress. She's beautiful."
Marco's head snapped around to his wife, pure disgust burned in his eyes. "Have you heard yourself? You are so heartless! This is our daughter and if this is the way you are going to treat her then you can't be my wife. Santana means more to me than you can imagine and I will not have you treat her that way." Everybody's mouths were hanging open like a character in a comic book. Santana couldn't believe how much her father was sticking up for her and suddenly; the haze of alcohol had dissipated.
"Don't be so stupid Mar-" Her mother was cut off when Santana slammed her fist against the table.
"Why do you have to be such a stuck up bitch? This is my life, why do you suddenly care what I do with it? It's not like you've ever cared before." She hissed harshly, her words felt like venom to the older woman.
"Santana, you know that's not true." She whispered sweetly with an awkward smile.
"Don't bull shit me." Santana turned away to blink back her tears. "I'd rather die knowing my own mom doesn't love me for who I am than have her lie to me for the last ten months of my life." With that Santana turned away leaving her mother stunned into silence and began picking at her napkin. She just wanted to get the rest of this night over and done with so she could go back to living the rest of her life without having to worry about disapproving parent.
Her eyes kept flickering up the stage where Blaine was setting up two mikes and handing out sheet music to the band. Santana could feel butterflies beginning to go crazy in her stomach at the thought of getting up and singing. She wasn't fazed by how many people were in the bar, it was the fact that her parents and Brittany's parents were there as well.
She tried hard to block at all the noise around her but no matter how hard she tried she could still hear both her and Brittany's parents bickering. She rolled her eyes and turned to face Brittany who was already looking at her with a confused look.
"What?" Santana whispered.
"Are you okay? You look nervous…" Brittany said cautiously. She slowly laced her fingers with Santana's to calm her but the Latina snapped her hand away when she felt her mother's eyes on her. Brittany frowned down at her hand; a wave of sadness engulfed her body as the feeling of rejection boiled up in her gut. "Listen about what my dad said before…" she was cut off before she could finish.
"Testing, one two, one two." The whole bar went silent as Blaine's voice drifted over from the stage. "Can Ms Santana Lopez please come to the stage?" He pointed to the Latina and wiggled his finger in a come hither gesture with a coy smile. Brittany's head spun around to face Santana as she walked towards Blaine. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was pretty sure all the colour had drained from her face. She risked a glance back at the Blonde who was frozen in her seat with a confused look on her face.
Santana jumped up on the stage and ran through the lyrics in her head one more time trying to drown out some of her last minute nerves.
"Nervous?" Blaine asked as he walked up to Santana and handed her a microphone. He smiled warmly and immediately reduced her nerves to almost nothing.
"Just a bit." She giggled awkwardly. Blaine spotted her shaking hands and pulled her into a hug.
"Everything will be ok, if you feel like you're going to panic just look at me." she nodded and they made their way over to stand in the middle of the stage, the crowd quieted down and all eyes were on them but the only eyes Santana could see was Brittany's blue orbs staring back at her.
"Hi everyone." Santana's words were laced with pure nerves and she was positive everyone could tell she was freaking out. "I've come to realise something lately about myself, and I just wanted to let my mother know that I'm not changing for anyone." She made eye contact with her mother who quickly diverted her eyes.
"We hope you enjoy. This is Macklemore 'Same Love'." Blaine said cheerfully earning some loud 'Whoops' and whistles from the back of the bar which was most likely Quinn, Rachel and Kurt.
Santana smiled down at her feet, her hands clutched the microphone stand as the piano started to play.
When I was in the 3rd grade
I thought that I was gay
Cause I could draw, my uncle was
And I kept my room straight
I told my mom, tears rushing down my face
She's like, "Blaine you've loved girls since before pre-K"
Blaine's voice filled the bar and sent chills down Brittany's spine; she didn't know he sounded so good rapping. She stood up and cheered them on, slowly making her way over to the bar where she'd spotted Quinn a few minutes earlier.
Trippin', yeah, I guess she had a point, didn't she
A bunch of stereotypes all in my head
I remember doing the math like
"Yeah, I'm good a little league"
A pre-conceived idea of what it all meant
For those who like the same sex had the characteristics
The right-wing conservatives think it's a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
The words hit home for the Latina. She risked a glance at her mother but she wasn't even looking at them, she was too busy rummaging through her purse. Wow, she really didn't care did she? Santana took a deep breath ready to start singing. Her heart was racing and all she could think about was not embarrassing herself in front of all these people. She just hoped her voice wasn't going to turn out shaking with her nerves.
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm
The room erupted into cheers as Santana began to sing, her raspy voice almost reducing Brittany to a climaxing mess. She felt a huge cheesy grin form on her lips and goose bumps tingle all over her body. An icy cold shiver surged down her spine as she made contact again with the Santana's eyes. Santana gave her a small wink causing the blonde to blush furiously and gulp down her drink to hide her smile.
If I was gay
I would think hip-hop hates me
Have you read the YouTube comments lately?
"Man that's gay"
Gets dropped on the daily
We've become so numb to what we're sayin'
Our culture founded from oppression
Yeah, we don't have acceptance for 'em
Call each other faggots
Behind the keys of a message board
A word routed in hate
Yet our genre still ignores it
Blaine and Santana began to dance together to the music, swaying and bobbing around the stage. Blaine placed his microphone back in the stand and held his hands up into a heart shape then pointed towards Kurt who cheered louder than anyone else.
Gay is synonymous with the lesser
It's the same hate that's caused wars from religion
Gender and skin colour
Complexion of your pigment
The same fight that lead people to walk-outs and sit-ins
It's human rights for everybody
There is no difference
Live on! And be yourself!
Quinn pulled Rachel into her arms and placed a soft kiss on her lips. She smiled softly and twirled the brunette before climbing up onto the bar. "Whoop! You guys rock!" she screamed over the singing. Her friends soon followed her and they all started singing along and dancing.
When I was in church
They taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service
Those words aren't anointed
And that Holy Water
That you soak in
Is then poisoned
When everyone else
Is more comfortable
Remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans
That have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same
But that's not important
No freedom 'til we're equal
Damn right I support it
I don't know
Santana couldn't take her eyes away from the blonde. Every word she sang, she meant and Brittany knew it.
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm
But as she turned to look at their parent's, all she saw was disappointment and disgust. She looked away quickly not wanting to start crying in front of a crowded bar. Blaine Sang the final verse with way more emotion than he had the entire song, as he trailed off Kurt ran up to the stage and pulled the boy down to kiss him.
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
And I can't change
Even if I tried
Even if I wanted to
My love, my love, my love
She keeps me warm
Santana wanted so badly for that to be her and Brittany but she couldn't. She was scared and she knew how pathetic she was being about it all. She should just needed sort herself out – she needed to get over the fact she was dying and she knew exactly how to do that - and forget about her fucked up heart and what their parents thought. It wasn't about them after all…
Love is patient,
Love is kind
Love is patient
Love is kind
She couldn't though. She couldn't break Brittany's heart. When the song finally ended she said a small "Thank you," to the cheering crowd and returned to her seat shyly. She avoided all eye contact with the parents; she couldn't look any of them in their eyes afraid of what she would see. She picked up her coat and purse and walked away. She didn't even bother saying good night, she just left.
The cold night air hit her like a ton of bricks and she gasped down a few breaths before flagging down a cab back to her apartment. She hunted through her purse and pulled out a blank, folded piece of lined paper. "Excuse me?" she asked the cab driver. "Do you happen to have a pen I can borrow?"
"Yeah, hang on a sec." he clicked something open and passed back a black biro. "It should still work, keep it." he smiled sweetly and she returned a weaker smile and began to write.
She was about to fall asleep on the sofa when the door burst open and clattered against the wall. All Santana saw before she was being flattened against the sofa was a blur of blonde hair. The air was shoved out of her lungs causing her to gasp. "What the fuck, Santana! Do you know how scared I've been?" Brittany shouted, her words were dripping with panic and slightly wavering. "I've been calling you all night! I thought you'd dropped dead in a street somewhere!"
"I… I…" Santana's mouth was slightly agape and her eyes were wide. She didn't even think when she'd left the bar; she didn't think anyone would be worried. "I'm sorry."
Brittany was still furious apology or not, tears were ready to burst from her eyes and a sob was ready to break through her clenched lips. "Don't you ever do that to me again. You hear me." Santana was slightly started by the anger in the blonde's voice and just nodded while she tried to move herself away from Brittany. "I told your mother to give you some space for a while." Brittany whispered after a while.
"Thank you."
"It's okay," Brittany paused a second debating whether or not she should say what she had been thinking since Santana had pulled her hand away from her. "Listen, about what my dad said-"
"It's okay, they were just angry." Santana cut in before Brittany could finish.
"No, just listen okay?" Santana nodded. "He should have said what he did, he had no right to talk about you like that and it really pissed me off," she held up her cut up hand to prove her point. "But,"
Santana's heart dropped. But's were never good when it came to this stuff, unless it was a "But, I love you," then most times than not it ended up with someone getting hurt.
"Maybe it's a good thing you no one wants us to get together. Maybe it will make things easier, you know when-"
"I get it." Santana snapped. She'd been the one telling Brittany that they shouldn't get together but here she was now, holding back a tsunami of tears and shattered heart crumbling in her chest.
It had sounded like a good idea in her head, she hated the way their parents had looked at them and this was what Santana wanted right? She thought maybe as soon as they both knew nothing would happen, the quicker Brittany would be able to try and get over the Latina. She thought maybe she wouldn't be hurting as much anymore. Santana had been saying how they would never work for a while, so why was she acting like this?
"Don't be mad. You've been telling me this for the past two months, Santana." Brittany stated defensively as she followed the Latina towards her bedroom.
"I'm not angry, Britt. You're right; it would be a bad idea if we got together." And with that her door slammed shut sending shock waves through Brittany's body but she barely felt them, all she could feel was the crushing feeling of regret in her gut.
She'd just made the biggest mistake of her life.