Now that final exams are over, I'm back from my two week break! Updates should be more frequent now that I have some time. Maybe I'll even be able to crank out another Homestuck story before Hussie gets back to his updates.
Also, FORESHADOWING!
I do not own Homestuck. I wonder if anybody missed me?
"Hey, Bro."
Dirk let his lips quirk up into a smile. He didn't like to bother his younger brother too often, so he appreciated it when the younger Strider took the initiative to call. "What's up, little man?"
"We've got a break next semester, which happens to be at the same time as the Skaian Festival. Me and the gang wanted you guys to come up so we could all go together. Everybody's on the horn with their respective relatives right now."
"Really?" Dirk asked. There was some shouting in the background. "I take it Roxy said yes."
He could practically hear his brother smirking at the other end of the line. "Seems like it. So what do you say?"
"It shouldn't be a problem to get some time off of work."
"Excellent." There was a brief pause. Dirk, sensing that his brother had something else weighing on his mind, waited patiently for whatever news Dave was about to drop. "Bro?"
Dirk's eyebrows furrowed of their own accord. "What is it, Dave?"
"I also wanted you to meet my girlfriend when you visit."
Dirk's eyebrows shot up. Roxy didn't have the same reservations he did about calling her own sister, so he usually got the latest gossip indirectly through the Lalonde grapevine. This, however, was news. "That's no reason to sound worried. I'm glad you found somebody."
"Yeah, she's great."
The older Strider knew there was more to the statement. "But?" he prompted, slightly uneasy with his brother's own unease.
"She's a little bit overwhelming at first. Just please keep that in mind. And don't you dare tell her any embarrassing stories!"
Dirk audibly chuckled. "You don't need to worry. If you say she's cool, then she's cool. Although, I can't make any promises if she asks me about your childhood."
"Bro!" Dave hissed, although in Strider-language it was more of a whine.
The older brother outright laughed at Dave's embarrassment. "Take it easy, little man, you don't want to lose your cool like that when she's around, right?"
"Yeah, whatever," Dave huffed, letting his more childish side show. "So, I'll see you then?"
"Of course."
"Right, well, bye."
"Bye, Dave."
With that the brief conversation was over. Dirk stood and sifted through the stack of papers on his bedside desk, hoping to find his calendar amidst the schematics. He already knew the dates of Dave's break; there were outlined in cherry red. He'd thought his brother might come home for those days, but had held off on requesting vacation since he wasn't certain. It looked like he would be taking time off after all.
timaeusTestified began trolling at 1:34pm
CG: what the hell?
CG: It's been a week. I thought I finally got rid of you!
TT: You noticed I was gone for exactly a week?
TT: You really do miss me when I'm not around, don't you?
CG: About as much as I miss the Holocaust.
TT: Harsh. That was taking it a bit too far.
CG: I will not apologize. Anyway, what the fuck are you doing here at a decent hour of the day?
TT: I thought I would mix it up a little. Set the blender to frappe instead of puree.
CG: I think I just died a little on the inside, that comeback was so shitty. Why did you bother coming back to the room?
TT: I missed your obscenely pleasant disposition. You seem to be a little mellower today, though.
CG: For the first time in I don't know how long, I've actually had a pretty good day so far.
CG: TC didn't set the kitchen on fire, CA and CC haven't gotten into a fight, and best of all GC has been gone since this morning. It's a good fucking day.
arachnidsGrip began trolling at 1:43pm
AG: helloooooooo cranky pants
CG: FUCK IT FORGET I EVEN SAID ANYTHING
CG: MY LIFE IS SHIT
TT: That was a rather extreme reaction.
AG: Oh, this is un8elievea8le.
AG: There's actually someone else in this room? I thought you always just spent your time 8y yourself, h8er.
CG: what do you want, arachnid8itch?
TT: Hey, AG, is he always like this?
AG: CG is just an angry little gru8 who can't even fess up to his own mist8kes.
AG: He likes to yell at everyone to hide his shortcomings. 8ut he can't hide from me, I see everything ;;;;)
CG: why don't you just go tangle yourself in one of your webs and die of starvation?
AG: Mind if I 8sk what 8rought you here?
TT: I was bored one day and stumbled into the room. I'm not sure why I come back, since CG is always so rude to me.
CG: I don't know why you come back either, you dipshit, especially since I keep telling you to stay the fuck out!
AG: I know, he can 8e so awful sometimes. It's no wonder GC dumped him.
CG: YOU CAN GET RIGHT THE FUCK OUT NOW!
TT: So GC is his ex?
AG: a8solutely. I'm surprised she even went out with this sorry ass in the first pl8ce. It's not like she was much of a catch herself, though ::::/
TT: Why's that?
CG: Shut. Up.
AG: She's a 8it of a weirdo, always going around sniffing people and licking stuff. She has terri8le eyesight, and she said it helped her see 8etter. Not to mention she has the most 8trocious cackle!
AG: She would spend all of her time drawing chalk pictures, while I would 8e off having adventures!
CG: You're just sore because she rejected all of YOUR advances, bitch!
TT: I take you know each other irl, AG?
AG: Yes, we see each other on a regular 8asis. It gets rather 8oring hearing CG use the same insults over and over again. He is a 8roken record. Luckily, though, I managed to move to a new 8uilding, so I don't have to put up with his 8ullshit anymore.
AG: You see, I have all of the luck ;;;;)
CG: You two are fucking pretending to ignore me, aren't you?
TT: I wouldn't say you have all of the luck.
AG: Oh, you dare to contradict me?
TT: I'm afraid I have to. After all, I must have some luck if I got to talk to you instead of listening to CG ramble on and on for an hour str8.
AG: Finally, I guy who can properly appreci8e me, and my typing quirk.
AG: what's your name?
CG: STOP FLIRTING!
TT: I'm afraid if I told you, I would have to kill you.
AG: Ooooooooh, a mysterious 8adass type. Aren't I a luck girl?
CG: HE'S GAY
TT: I'd offer to sweep you off your feet, but you don't strike me as the princess type. You're more like the kick-ass leader-gal. So what do you say we team up and go beat some evil warlock and rescue the real damsel in distress?
CG: IF YOU WANT TO ROLEPLAY GO BACK TO YOUR OWN ROOM, AG. YOU WILL NOT DO IT HERE, AND NOT WITH HIM!
TT: And by damsel, I mean CG, of course.
AG: I was thinking the same. We are a r8ther good pair.
adiosToreador began trolling at 2:07pm
CG: STOP FLIRTING!
AT: um, I haven't said anything yet.
AG: What are you doing here, toreadork?
TT: Wow, this room is surprisingly popular today.
CG: I was talking to AG, not you!
AT: oh…
AG: Spit it out 8oy. Why are you here?
CG: I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME!
AT: well, I uh, that is. You said we would be doing the group roleplay today, um, for the trollverse. And, you said, uh, to be there at one.
AT: but then, uh, you never showed up }:/
AG: Oh, I completely forgot. May8e if you actually did something to make yourself more memora8le and notica8le, I wouldn't have such a hard time remem8ering when we're supposed to do stuff together.
CG: AT, Would it kill you to not type out your speech in such a hesitating manner? I mean, I know you're shy but god is it really necessary to type out all of the extra 'ums' and pauses?
CG: And shut the fuck up, spider8itch.
AT: Uh, I'm sorry.
AT: both for being unremarkable and uh, typing like this, I guess. But I feel like it is better this way, um, because it reflects me better, karkat.
CG: FUCK
CG:;aigb;suierh
TT:…
AG: Way to go, loser. Did you just suddenly forget the rule a8out using our names in front of outsiders unless we tell them ourselves?
AT: I'm sorry. I uh, didn't notice someone else was here.
CG: GODDAMNIT
CG: AT, not only do you need to grow a backbone, but you seriously need to start using your think pan a little more.
AG: You tell him!
CG: And you!
CG: I am sick of all your bullshit, not just about GC, but also AA, CA, and especially with AT. Quit being such a fucking bitch queen to him. I am the one who should be mad right now, so you don't get a say!
AG: Ugh, fine.
AG: Come on, you 8um8ling idiot. We'll go do the roleplay now
AG: 8ye, handsome stranger ;;;;)
arachnidsGrip ceased trolling
AT: Handsome stranger?
AT: uh, wait!
adiosToreador ceased trolling
CG: gog, finally.
TT:…
CG: Don't you dare.
TT: Is this why you hate lolcats? Do they call you Karkitty and try to feed you cheezburgers?
CG: FUCK YOU
TT: Relax, I'll be nice.
TT: How could I not show a little compassion? Teasing you would be incredibly mean right after I made you so jealous.
CG: I was not jealous. That would imply that I have at the very least something other than complete spite and disgust running through my veins every time I so much as even think about you.
TT: But you get so upset when we ignored you, and even angrier when we were flirting. How am I supposed to interpret that as anything other than liking? And you even admit to the fact that you think about me when we aren't chatting.
CG: You know what? Maybe you should just go follow those two. Clearly you don't talk to enough people on this site, if you've never met Ms. Nosy 8-Eyes.
CG: I was feeling good today, and now my blood pressure is through the roof because of dealing with the three of you.
CG: I don't even care if you talk about me.
carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling
TT: Come on, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
TT: Shit
timaeusTestified ceased trolling
Dirk actually felt sort of bad for that one. He hadn't thought the troll would let his feathers get ruffled so easily. Perhaps a complete stranger talking about his ex with someone who was apparently a former love rival had pushed him too far. There was always a chance the guy was faking, but Dirk honestly thought that the break in character was too abrupt to be more of the usual empty blustering.
He ran his fingers through his hair and turned his desk chair 180 degrees. Then, feeling impulsive, he rotated himself around twice more before coming to a stop. He looked out the window. It really was a beautiful day. The weather had decided to be nice and sunny without being blisteringly hot. He had only meant to check his email before going on a walk. Somehow he had managed to make his way to what had become his favorite chat room instead of getting some fresh air.
He sighed. Now was as good a time as any to go.
As he walked along the surprisingly empty streets, he wondered how Jane was doing. He hadn't spoken to her since that day with Roxy and Calliope. He'd chatted up Roxy a few times, but had been too nervous to ask her. He supposed no news was good news; if something truly bad had happened to the Crocker, Roxy would have told him straight away. Jake had been around more often, which genuinely thrilled Dirk, but Jane had never come up in their conversations.
Speaking of Jake, Dirk wondered if he would want to come and visit next weekend, or if Dirk should go to the English. Usually Jake was the one who made the commute, but perhaps this once the slightly older boy could surprise his lover.
It was nice to be able to do those sorts of things; surprise visits, kissing, even cuddling. Dirk couldn't help but think back to CG. GC must have dumped him hard if it caused him such anger having people talk about it. To have your heart broken…
Dirk winced. He loved Jake, and Jake loved him. He would never do that to the other boy, and was confident enough to say that Jake would never get rid of him.
Feeling slightly better, the Strider continued his walk for several hours before returning home. He made a quick dinner and then went straight to bed, once again breaking his habit of visiting FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY.