I hit the wall, guys. I had all sorts of ideas for stories and I just have zero motivation to write them. No need to panic; I will be finishing this story! I just don't know when I'll be posting anything else once this one is finished -_-
On the bright side, Dirk is taking a more invested interest in his troll, and we get to see more Calliope. Yay!
I do not own Homestuck. Does Hussie ever get writer's block? o_o
timaeusTestified began trolling at 10:52pm
TT: smuppet
CG: WTF?
TT: I just needed to type something quick and absurd so that you wouldn't log off right away. You were considering it, right?
CG: Don't act like you know me just because of what happened a few days ago.
TT: Man, you really are pissed.
TT: Anyway, my name's Dirk.
CG: Like I give a fuck what your name is. You could have paid me a zillion boonbucks and I still wouldn't have bothered to ask.
CG: What do you want?
TT: Geeze, I'm just trying to make up for talking about your ex-girlfriend with her past-almost-girlfriend.
CG: I just snorted so hard, people three states away understand how stupid you are.
CG: Alternian romance is nothing like the shit you try to pass as love in the US culture. Ours is much more nuanced and complex and sophisticated. Whatever level of significance you think I put on that conversation, which may or may not be accurate, is probably far different from what you're thinking is the root of the problem.
TT: There you go again with your superiority complex. Do I need to say the 'h' word?
CG: Do it and I swear the next time you get on here your computer will come to life and attempt to eat you. I just wish I could be around to see it.
TT: That's assuming TA will help you, since you can't program for shit.
arsenicCatnip began trolling at 11:02pm
CG: Oh, gog, AC, what the hell are you doing here?
AC: :33 *AC cautiously p33rs into the room, to s33 if the inhabitants are furrendly or not*
CG: Can we not do the whole third person narration thing?
AC: :33 *AC considers the proposition, but will only purromise if CG says please*
CG: Like hell.
TT: *TT, who has been quietly waiting in the corner until now, decides to greet the newcomer*
CG: Not again.
AC: :33 *AC approaches the stranger, and pawses. She prepares to pounce at the first sign of danger*
CG: Please, okay? Please don't do this right now.
TT: You're no fun. I already had my response all typed out.
AC: I've never s33n you anywhere else, TT. Are you CG's furriend?
TT About as close as a guy and his troll can be. I saw your username on the front page once. Do you know CG and some of the others irl?
AC: Of course. My big brother meowrail is one of the people who run the site.
TT: Which one?
CG: AC, don't give him more personal information. Your brother will kill me if he finds out.
CG: But just to clear it up, her "brother" is the one we don't talk about any more, you idiot.
AC: But TT seems nice, and he said you were furriends, and you didn't deny it!
TT: Yeah, Karkat, aren't we friends?
AC: He even knows your name!
CG: Crap. The only reason he knows my name is because AG is annoying and AT can't keep his mouth shut. And no, we are not friends, so stuff it.
AC: But AT is a purrfect sweetheart!
CG: It was an accident, I get that. But, seriously, why are you here?
AC: I hardly ever get to s33 you anymore! You are always so busy with classes and exams and papurrs!
TT: Wow, you don't even make time for your irl friends?
TT: You don't deserve an online social life.
CG: Just shut up, TT
CG: And AC, I just have a lot on my plate, and I get online to relax. Not that that's possible anymore with this moron bothering me all of the time.
TT: Not nice.
CG: We're doing that group thing on Saturday. We can talk then, ok?
AC: That would be pawsitively wonderful!
CG: Good.
CG: Now, you should get off before your Moirail finds out you're still playing on the computer.
AC: :33 *AC sneaks out on silent f33t, the only indication of her purresence a fond memory*
aresenicCatnip ceased trolling
CG: Fuck.
TT: I can't believe it. You have manners after all.
CG: Fuck you for the computer insult earlier, and fuck you for thinking I have no manners.
TT: Christ, what is your problem?
TT: Are you sweet on AC? Is that why you toned it down?
CG: Hardly. First off, AC's "brother" really gets on her case about cursing, so I try to make it easier on her by not getting her in the habit.
CG: Secondly, AC has a huge crush on ME, not the other way around. I always felt bad because I could never bring myself to return her feelings. I've rejected her more than once but she refuses to give up.
TT: You might only be making it worse by giving her special treatment.
CG: Unlike AT, I actually have the ability to censor myself online, it really isn't that hard. Special treatment was when I quit smoking.
CG: FUCK. You did not read that!
TT: Your ex not like smokers?
CG: Just shut the fuck up!
TT: Fine, relax. I know you got really pissed last time so I'll let it drop. For now, at least.
TT: But tell me, are you a high school student?
CG: Why, pedo? Is it really that important?
TT: No. Either way you have the maturity level of an 8 year old.
CG: You picked that number on purpose.
TT: I did no such thing.
TT: But I do have a genuine question, about "brother" and meowrail.
CG: God, I'm not getting into their personal affairs.
CG: They aren't related by blood. And a MOIRAIL is an Alternian term for 'bff', essentially.
TT: Like you and TC?
CG: How the fuck did you even come to that conclusion?
TT: Gay man's intuition.
CG: You are so full of shit.
TT: Perhaps, but I'm right, so why should I care?
CG: You think your think pan is just so full of the secrets of the universe, but you really just don't understand anything about Alternian culture, so why don't you just take your metaphoric socks and stuff them down your nutrient chute until you learn to say something halfway intelligent?
TT: It's kind of strange, but you're right.
CG: Of course I am!
CG: Why are you admitting to it?
TT: I guess cultural sensitivity is kind of important. I was always more concerned about gender sensitivity, I guess. Even though I had a bunch of people to talk to, I never used the opportunity.
TT: I think I've learned more about Alternia from our conversations than I ever did in school.
CG: At least you admit you pathetic ignorance. I will give you some credit for that, considering what a giant nooksniffer you are.
TT: Maybe next time you can explain the cultural significance of buckets to me.
timaeusTestified ceased trolling
CG: WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BUCKETS?
CG: DIRK!
"Dirk! Jake! Dirkdirkdirkdirkdirkdirkdiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk! It's Calliope!" Roxy practically tackled him the moment he stepped through the door. If it weren't for his ninja-like reflexes he would have dropped Lalonde and toppled backward onto Jake.
Letting her have her fun, Dirk held up Roxy while Jake slipped past the blonde pair and into the apartment. "Hello there, Jane. And greetings, Ms. Calliope. I must say, it's quite the honor to finally meet you in person!"
"It's a pleasure to meet you as well, Mr. English," came the reply.
Roxy finally released Dirk so she could drag him into the room. He smiled, letting her pull him around like and indulgent parent and child. Her enthusiasm was almost contagious. Characteristically, some of the smile faded as he entered the room and the other occupants would be able to see his expression. There was still a trace of the grin left, though, as he took Calliope's hand. "Hey Callie, its good of you to finally visit." He did his best impression of prince charming and kissed the back of her hand.
The surprisingly sober Roxy elbowed Calliope in the ribs when she started blushing at the surprising gesture. "Told you he was a lady killer!" she giggled.
"Quite the fairy-tale hero, aren't you?" the still somewhat flustered girl joked.
Dirk shrugged nonchalantly. "I try my best. Hey, Janey." He did his best not to wince as soon as the nickname was out of his mouth. He hadn't called her that since before he started dating Jake.
But it seemed, in the spirit of finally getting to spend time in person with one of her closest friends, Jane took the comment in a cordial manner. "Hello Dirk." Her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, but he would take what he could get.
"Well come on now, sillies! We're all here, let's have some fun!" Roxy ordered loudly, throwing her arms around her gal pals. As she ushered them out of the door, she somehow managed to grab hold of Dirk's sleeve and drag him along as well. Jake, not wanting to be left out, found a way to break Roxy's hold and squeeze himself between Dirk and Calliope.
"Where are we going?" Jane asked, a struggling a little against Roxy's pushing.
Roxy snorted. "Ice skating, of course!"
Dirk blinked behind his shades. "Rox, where are we going to find an ice rink around here?" There had been an old rink in the area when he was a child, but that had been torn down long ago.
Roxy stopped walking, much to Jane's relief. She turned to stare Dirk straight in the face. Then she winked. "Just trust me. I've got all the connections!"
"If you say so," he replied, not really meaning anything nasty by it. When she put her mind to it, Roxy could do just about anything.
Jake, though, completely missed his boyfriend's joking tone. "Now Dirk, there's no need to be a wet blanket. I'm sure Roxy has a plan for a bang-up time."
"Sure, Jake," he agreed, not feeling like explaining that he was just having fun with Lalonde.
"Well, I certainly think it will be exciting!" Calliope interrupted with a gleeful smile. "I've never been ice-skating before!"
"Hoo, well then, this will be quite the adventure for you, won't it Callie?" Jake cheered. As Roxy led the way to her car, the pair with the green eyes started chatting, leaving Dirk bringing up the rear with Jane. They remained silent, but as they approached the car Strider noticed Crocker tense up. She probably realized there was a chance she would have to sit in the back. Either she would be forced into close proximity with Jake or Dirk for the duration of the trip to Roxy only knew where.
She let out an audible sigh of relief when Calliope slid into the back with Jake, and quickly scampered to secure the shotgun seat. Dirk genuinely felt sorry that she was still so uncomfortable around both boys. He didn't know how to make it better short of dumping Jake, and that definitely wasn't going to happen anytime soon, if ever.
Dirk remained silent for the most part during the car trip. The other three continually bombarded Calliope with questions, such as what her next research project would be when she was done with Alternia, or if she had never been roller skating either, or how long she would be staying. He had every intention of getting some time with the sweet girl, but for now he was content to listen to everyone else. It was almost like before; before Roxy confessed to him the first time, before he had started dating Jake, before Jane had lost all interest in talking to him. It was like they were hanging out for the first time together again. He wasn't usually one for nostalgia, but remembering how simple it had all been before; before Dirk lost his parents and Jane lost her mom, before Roxy started drinking, it made him both happy and sad.
Before he could stew in the bittersweet thoughts any longer, Roxy made a rather sharp turn into a parking lot. As Dirk stepped out, he took a good, long look at the building. "Damn, I'm impressed, you really came through, Rolal."
"Of course I did," she winked. "Now come on, let's go have some fun! I get to teach you all how to skate."
"Hate to burst your bubble, but I already know how," Dirk explained as he followed the excited girl and his other friends across the parking lot.
"What? This is such a tragedy. There go all of my plans for a steamy student-teacher romance!" She threw her hands up in defeat. Calliope tried to stifle a giggle underneath her hands, and Jake outright guffawed. Dirk couldn't bring himself to, considering there was probably a part of her that was serious about the statement. Judging from Jane's lack of giggles, she was well aware of Roxy's feelings too.
Luckily the line to rent skates was short, and there weren't that many people on the ice to begin with. While Roxy struggled to help Jane and Jake figure out their laces, by virtue of proximity Dirk assisted Calliope. "So, if you don't ice skate, do you go bungee jumping in your spare time?"
The girl smiled, showing off her dimples. "Hardly. I'm not the adventurous type like Jake. I prefer to read and write and interview."
"Sounds like you would love Jake's job," he gave his boyfriend a loving glance when he noticed the Brit had accidentally tied his skates together, much to Roxy's amusement. "You really love Alternia, though, don't you?"
"I find it absolutely fascinating!"
"Can I ask why? Like, what got you interested in the first place? We always talk about your latest major discovery. Come to think of it, why is there so little research in the first place?"
Callie's eyes lit up like a child's at Christmas. "Has my fanaticism worn off on you?" she joked, but Dirk could hear the eager undertones.
"I'd like to learn some. I mean, I don't think I'm nearly as invested as you, but I am interested."
Calliope was practically bouncing on the arena bench. "Well, to first answer your questions, Alternia had a strong, albeit somewhat indirect, influence on Zillyhoo, where I was born. To answer your second question, there are multiple reasons. The first is that the culture there, especially historically, is very nuanced, and there were many misunderstandings amongst the first scholars who were allotted visitation. The second reason relates to the first, in that the Alternian Empresses, each titled Her Imperial Condescension, disliked the thought of outsiders coming to Alternia. They used to be extremely militaristic, and have only just recently begun to drop that stance. Of course, that in part was due to their annexation by the US, which in and of itself was a major event despite only happening about ten years ago, and has had significant consequences…"
As the group finally made it onto the ice, Dirk made sure to keep Jake from humiliating himself, but also did his best to keep up the conversation with Calliope. In her excitement she tended to jump from topic to topic without going into too much detail, but that suited him just fine. He wanted the general overview rather than nit-picky details. CG would undoubtedly be willing to fill in the blanks in order to 'educate the ignorant nooksniffer.'