Just had a mini heart attack! i accidently deleted this chapter but thank god I'd saved it to my pen or shit would have gone down!

just wanted to say thank for reviewing, following and favouriting it really does push me to carry on writing! :)

Chapter 16

"Jesus Christ, Quinn!" Santana screamed as they sprinted and trudged through knee high snow in central park. "Run faster!" The Latina lunged off the steps and landed in a crouch before standing back up and racing off towards a large tree for cover.

"Santana, slow down!" Quinn screamed between heavy pants. "I'm not as fit as I used to be." She skidded to a halt when Santana's hand clutched the back of her scarf and pulled her behind the tree. Quinn's breath was coming out choppy and formed thick white clouds on front of her face.

"Hurry up and help me make a pile of snow balls before they see your fat ass and turn us in to snow men." Santana ordered as she squatted down and started compressing piles of snow into balls the size of tennis balls. It had been Brittany's idea to go and have a snowball fight in the middle of Central Park when she had realised how much it had snowed overnight. None of the other girls had it in their hearts to decline when they saw how excited she was. "Come on, San! It's another thing to cross off your list! It'll be so cool. I've never seen snow like this, all the snow in Lima would have turned to sludge by now." she had shouted as she tugged the Latina down the street and towards the park.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." Quinn said blankly as she tried to look over her shoulder at her butt, but only made herself look like a puppy chasing their tail. Suddenly, a ball of snow crashed into the side of Quinn's face causing a sharp sting to surge through her cheek. "Fuck!"

"Smart one, Quinn. Look what your fat ass did! They found us." Santana snapped and threw herself chest down into the snow. She clutched a snow ball tightly in her hand as Brittany and Rachel came skidding down the steps just a couple of yards away from where Quinn and Santana were. "Get them Quinn!"

As ordered, Quinn began to thrown the snowballs at the two girls but completely missing them each time. "You throw like a girl, Q." Santana sniggered.

"I am a girl." Quinn deadpanned. "You get way too competitive for your own good."

Brittany's eyes immediately zoned in on the Latina buried in a pile of snow and started to throw snow ball after snow ball in the girl's direction. She heard a high pitched scream emanate from Santana and couldn't suppress her fit of laughter. "Come on, San! Fight back!" Brittany managed in between giggles.

"You asked for it." Santana snickered under her breath; she jumped up in a blur of dark hair and began to pelt the blonde with balls of icy snow. "Quinn! Get Rachel!" Santana squealed and began to retreat down the path way closely followed by Brittany and leaving the other two girls to battle it out alone.

She ran as fast as she could, her chest was heaving with the breathless laughing and squealing. Just as she was about to jump behind another tree, she felt strong arms picking her up off of the ground and spun her around in tight circles.

"Brittany!" she squeaked and wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck and pulled her tight against her body.

"We win." She said proudly and placed Santana back down on the ground.

Santana shook her head and pulled the blonde down by the neck and crashed their lips together into a heated kiss. "I win…" she mumbled against Brittany's lips. Brittany slipped her tongue into the Latina's mouth, her knees nearly turned to jelly when Santana moaned against her mouth. She backed Santana up against the tree and slipped her thigh in between her legs. Santana whimpered but reluctantly pushed the blonde back. "Let me?"

At the brunette's words, a heated throbbing began to pound between Brittany's legs and she had to bite down hard on her bottom lip to stop herself from moaning. Santana crashed their lips back together before swiftly switching their positions. The Latina pulled away to make sure there was no one nearby and slowly slipped her hand into Brittany's sweat pants. Her fingers were instantly plunged into scorching hot wetness. "Santana!" Brittany screamed into Santana shoulder as the Latina thrust two fingers into Brittany's entrance. The blonde dug her finger nails into Santana's wrist as she moved the Latina's hand faster and faster into herself.

"You're so fucking hot." Santana husked into the blonde's ear.

Brittany's cheeks had turned a bright rosy pink, and her whole body was shivering, whether it was from being out side in the cold or the amazing feelings Santana was giving her, neither girl cared how cold the freezing air around them was affecting their bodies.

Santana flicked her thumb over the blonde's clit causing her hips to buck against the Latina's hand and a low quivering moan to escape her mouth. "San- Santana… I'm going to come…" Brittany's voice was strained and her body thrashed around wildly beneath Santana. The only noise Santana could hear were the ragged pants coming from Brittany's mouth.

Santana pulled her fingers out of the blonde fully causing her to whimper in protest but just as she was about to tell Santana not to stop, the Latina thrust an extra finger into Brittany. Brittany's scream was muffled by Santana's mouth on hers as she toppled over the edge. The Latina kept her thumb pressed to the blonde's clit and slowly rubbed light circles over the swollen nub but when the intense feelings finally got too much; Brittany pulled Santana's hand away slowly with a whimper.

"You… win…" Brittany finally stuttered out between shuddering breaths. Santana let out a low chuckle; she tugged playfully on the blonde's navy blue beany so it was covering the girl's eyes before slowly lacing their fingers together. "Come on, Britt. I have an appointment at three and I'm starving." Santana helped the blonde to walk in a straight line for the first couple of steps as they rounded the corner to find Rachel and Quinn sitting on a bench all cuddled up.

"Took your time." Quinn teased with a neatly raised eyebrow and shot the Latina a smug look. Santana sent the blonde a warning glare before explaining to the couple that they were heading for lunch if they wanted to join them. Quinn shook her head however and told them that Blaine and Kurt should be arriving back sometime soon so they wanted to be there when they arrived home.

The couples went their separate ways, Santana sighed in relief. "Finally! Some time to ourselves." She sang cheerfully and pulled Brittany closer to her body and revelled in the warmth the blonde's body was emitting.

"San, we've had plenty of time to ourselves." Brittany looked down at the Latina with a hint of confusion in her eyes but the rest of her face was beaming with a smile that graced her lips at the thought of the Latina wanting her best friend to leave her alone so she could be with Brittany.

"Not enough." Santana huffed.

Brittany giggled sweetly before kissing away Santana's pout. "Not that I don't want to be with you." she tried to reassure the smaller girl but Santana just shrugged and turned her head away from the blonde to secretly smirk. She knew Brittany didn't like it when Santana teased her but she couldn't help herself. "Santana," It was Brittany's turn to pout this time. "You know I want to be with you, all the time, none stop, no matter where you are. There isn't anyone else I would rather be with."

Santana's heart grew in size at the blonde's words, she turned back to face Brittany and halted her walking. "I love you, Britt." The smile that formed on Santana's face would make a Cheshire cat look clinically depressed. "I love you so freaking much it hurts. I'll never leave you alone. Never."

Brittany reached out to cup one of Santana's cheeks and began to stroke her thumb over the flushed skin. She knew what Santana was promising her wasn't a promise she could keep. She knew that in the end, she would be alone. That was the inevitable truth. But that didn't matter right now, all she cared about was enjoying the time they had left together, as a couple. "I love you, Santana." She didn't kiss the Latina but she leant forward and pressed their foreheads against each-other. She let herself drown in the dark brown pools of pure love before rubbing her nose against Santana's softly to give her an Eskimo kiss.

Santana breathed in a shaky breath before slowly closing her eyes and just let herself enjoy being so close to Brittany without having to worry about anything other than the blonde pulling away from her. She nuzzled her face into the blonde's neck. They stood there for a matter of minutes; Brittany held Santana in her arms as passers-by gave them confused looks. "How about we go and have some lunch?" Brittany's words were muffled by Santana's hair but they were loud enough to be heard.

"In a minute… just… in a minute." Santana replied and tightened her grip around Brittany's waist. She was way too comfortable to move.

They didn't go to lunch.

By the time they had pulled out of their embrace it was already half past two. Neither girl had ever felt so content in their entire lives and hated it when they realised the time and they were probably going to be late for Santana's appointment.

Brittany never really understood how time could really fly by, she'd heard her parents and many other adults say it before but no matter how hard she tried, she could never get her time machine to work. When she'd asked her parents how they had gotten hers to work, they'd just laughed and gave her a silly grin. She'd always thought it was because she was 'stupid' that hers never worked, she'd tried so hard but no matter how hard she tried to get smarter in class it still wouldn't work. Santana had always called her a genius however, and told her that she would figure it out soon enough. That had always pushed the blonde to keep trying. However, it was now she realised what people really meant when they said time flies. Everything seemed to be going so fast the more time she spent with Santana. She hadn't even realised she'd stood in the middle of Central Park with the Latina in her arms for at least an hour and a half.

It was scary to think about how fast things were actually going. To think that it would be less than a year and Santana might not be here anymore. How fast would half a year go if she was having this much fun and feeling this happy? Brittany didn't even want to think about that right now, she shook her head and tightened her grip on Santana's shaking hand.

They stood in the elevator heading up to Dr Richardson's office. Santana's heart was racing in her chest and it almost felt painful, her guts were twisting in side of her and she had to clamp her mouth shut in hope that she would throw up everywhere.

This always happened to her when she came here. She didn't know why, she'd never used to get nervous coming to the hospital and she'd never felt nervous around doctors either – obviously not, her father was a doctor and she loved him to bits – but lately things had changed and she hated it.

She moved closer to the girl next to her, her body pressed against the blonde's side as Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's waist causing Santana's jittery body to relax slightly. "Everything will be okay, I'm here." Brittany soothed but she hadn't told Santana she was just as scared. This was the first time she'd accompanied the Latina to one of her appointments, every time Brittany asked Santana would shake her head and tell her that she would be okay on her own or that the blonde needed to go and find a job. Brittany would always pout or storm off to her room but she knew if the Latina didn't want her there, there must have been a good reason for it.

As the door opened with a way too cheerful 'ding' Santana could have scoffed, but she felt like her heart plummeted to her stomach at the sound. She hated that sound so much. Every time she heard that sound it meant that she would most definitely be getting bad news from the doctor, she would get the same speech over and over about how the hospital still hadn't found her a heart yet but she shouldn't give up hope yet. She rolled her eyes irritably at the past memories of Doctor Richardson's excuses. She hated that every time she left the hospital she would have a stream of tears pouring from her eyes. And that was why she hadn't wanted Brittany to come all those other times. She didn't want the blonde to see her so broken.

Santana was pulled from her thoughts when the doctor ushered the couple into his office and sat Santana up on the paper covered bed in the corner. "Hello, Santana." He smiled sweetly down at the Latina who gave him an awkward nod in return. "How have you been feeling?" He began to strap a chord around the bicep of her arm and tapped a few times in the crook of her elbow over a light blue vein.

Santana shrugged her shoulders indifferently. "I'm taking my meds, eating healthily, I haven't had a drink in three months and I've had Britt here to keep me from going insane." She points over to the bashful blonde with a wink before turning back to the doctor just as he was about to insert a needle into her arm.

She felt the blood suddenly rush out of her cheeks and the bile race up her throat. Her body went rigid before lurching forward and emptying the contents of her stomach onto the sparkling white floor.

All the times she'd had blood taken she had never once looked at the needle. Ever since she was a child she'd hated the sight and the feeling the things caused. Her head spun as the image popped into her mind again causing her to go rigid again and gag but nothing came up. Brittany was up in a shot and had her arm wrapped tightly around Santana's shoulders. She rubbed small circles between the Latina's shoulder blades and pressed a soft kiss to the girl's temple.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry about that I should have warned you." Dr Richardson hurried back over to the two girls with some tissues and a bowl. "Are you going to be okay?"

Santana just nodded weakly and leant her head against Brittany's chest. The room was spinning and her body had begun to shake slightly. She could hear the doctor asking Brittany some questions and answering them confidently but she couldn't hear what they were saying. It was like she was underwater again.

She didn't know how much time had passed but she had managed to have her blood taken and her heart rate monitored and now the haziness was just starting to clear up she could finally talk to the doctor however, she still sounded slightly slurred.

"Any information… about the… heart?" she mumbled lazily yet she already knew what the answer would be.

"I'm sorry, Santana. I haven't heard anything new…" he sighed sadly. Santana slumped her body in resignation. She didn't know why she bothered asking anymore. She knew the answer before it even came. Brittany's grip tightened around Santana's waist and whispered something reassuring into the Latina's ear but she couldn't make it out. "I really am sorry, Santana. You're a sweet and caring girl and you don't deserve what you're going through." Santana couldn't make eye contact with anyone in the room she kept her gaze glued to her hands and held back the tears flooding behind her eyes. "I promise you that when I get that news I won't hesitate to call you."

She nodded meekly and let her shoulders slump.

"Do you have any questions?" He asked after a while of awkward silence. He kept his eyes glued to the girls in front of him, he was trying to see any signs of confusion or worry that either of them might have about what was going on. "Any worries or concerns?" he added just in case.

"Actually," Santana said quietly, a blush began to creep up her cheeks and her eyes drifted away from the doctor. "We were… err wondering…" Santana trailed off as the embarrassment got too much for her.

"It's okay," Brittany gave Santana a reassuring squeeze and kissed her cheek. "We were wondering if it would be safe for us to have… sex." Brittany paused slightly before finishing her question. She knew how some people could get uncomfortable about this kind of stuff.

However, the doctor didn't seem bothered at all; he just smiled sweetly at the two girls in front of him and leaned forward slightly in his desk chair. "As a doctor, I get this question a lot – and I mean a lot," he chuckled to himself. "But yes, it is safe as long as you are careful. For example, keep the room warm, make sure you have your meds next to the bed and try not to do too much," He started to blush and he waved his hand around in a circular motion as he tried to find the right words, when he had said he'd been asked this question a lot, he meant it but he had never been asked this from a same sex couple and he felt slightly worried about offending someone. "You should maybe try and be on the bottom most of the time… wow, never had to say that to two women." He whispered that last part quietly to himself and tried to hide his embarrassment.

Santana looked up to Brittany with a raised eyebrow; Brittany looked back with a smug look in her eyes. Santana knew exactly what the blonde was thinking; she knew exactly what the blonde wanted to do to her. "Fuck yeah…" Brittany mouthed causing Santana to nip her thigh. "Ow!" She squeaked and shuffled away slightly.

Dr Richardson chuckled warmly at the girls' interaction on front of him. "Is there anything else?" He asked sweetly and clasped his hands together on top of the desk. Both girls shook their heads in sync and walked over to the door when the doctor told them it was okay for them to leave. Santana turned back and rasped a quick thank you before letting the blonde lead her off down the hallway.

It wasn't until they were behind the closed doors of Santana's car that the Latina finally let herself break. She clutched the steering wheel tightly in both hands and let her forehead fall forward as sobs began to rack her body. Tears dripped down onto the back of her hands, she sucked in her bottom lip and held it there as she tried to keep it from quivering.

Brittany didn't know what to do at first. She just sat there and stared at the girl breaking down in front of her. She hadn't expected Santana to act like this. She knew that coming to the hospital was tough for her but she hadn't realised just how tough. When the blonde finally pulled herself together and reached a hand out to comfort the Latina, Santana flinched away and shook her head in protest. "I just… I just need a minute."

However, Brittany ignored Santana protests and pulled the Latina over the centre console and into her lap. She knew how Santana could get defensive when she was upset or feel broken like she did now. She knew Santana so well that she knew all the Latina needed was someone to hold her and that's what Brittany did. She held Santana close to her body ran her fingers through her hair and planted kisses along Santana's jaw line.

Santana gripped at the front of Brittany's sweater and sobbed ridiculously loud into her chest. "I'm never… going to get… a new heart…" She stuttered and slurred out between sobs. Brittany was quick to shush her and planted a soft kiss against her lips.

"You can't think like that." The blonde wiped away a falling tear on her own cheek. Her grip tightened as she tried to hold back her own sobs.

"I'm going to die aren't I?" Santana asked to no one in particular like she was finally realising the reality of her situation.

"No," Brittany shook her head furiously. "No you're not. You can't leave me, Santana. I love you. I won't let anything happen to you. You… you… I will give you my heart." She blurted out in between body shaking sobs. Both girls were near hysteria now and clung to each-others bodies for dear life. Santana couldn't answer the blonde. She just let the girl hold her in her arms because right now she didn't want to be anywhere else. She wanted to forget about everything that was going on in her life and just focus on the love of her life. She wanted to ignore the fact that she was dying, and try and push what Brittany had said to the back of her mind.

She was breaking the blonde's heart already…

"I'm sorry, Britt."