Sorry for the cliff hanger at the end of the last chapter hope you all didn't go too crazy worrying about Santana, the chapter after this will be full of Brittany fluff and some Faberittana so hopefully your hearts wont be aching too much.
i love you all
Chapter 21
"I'm not ready to lose you yet."
Quinn looked in the rear-view mirror at her girlfriend as Brittany's words echoed through the car. Quinn's heart shattered in her chest knowing that the Latina couldn't control her fate. Rachel blinked rapidly as she looked out the window. She didn't want Quinn to see her tears.
"Come on, Santana. Stay awake for me baby." Brittany carried on mumbling as her lips moved down to the Latina's nose. She trailed the tips of her fingers down her jaw line and stopped over Santana's pulse point. Her heart was pounding rapidly caused Brittany to gasp. "Hurry up, Quinn."
"We're nearly there. Rach, call your dads and tell them to meet us outside." She replied as they drove past the Welcome to Lima sign. Quinn slammed her foot down hard, the car jolted forward and she swerved around the car in front. "Two more minutes, B. Keep her awake." At Quinn's words, Santana lifted her had to cup Brittany's cheek.
Rachel picked up her phone and started shouting down the phone; her words were so quickly spoken that none of the girls could make out what she was saying. Brittany prayed to god that her fathers could understand her.
A car horn sounded from behind them, Quinn stuck her head out of the window and started screaming something incoherent to the driver of the car. She stuck up her middle finger before pulling herself back into the car to concentrate on getting them to the Berry's house faster.
"Daddy's not home but dad is, he'll be waiting for us." Rachel said when she finally hung up the phone.
"I'm okay." she said a little more clearly. Her breathing had calmed down and the colour had returned to her face. "Britt, I'm okay. Can I sit up?" Brittany shook her head. "Please, nothing's hurting. I'm fine." Santana was a terrible liar and she knew it, but that didn't stop her from doing it.
"No, not until we get to Rachel's." Brittany didn't want to risk anything happening. Santana just rolled her eyes and sighed but she knew the blonde was probably right to keep her lying down, her chest was still aching and everything was spinning still. Her pills were taking longer to kick in but she knew there was nothing anyone could do. Her doctor had ordered her to take it easy and not over do anything. Maybe that coffee and the singing was what set it off?
Suddenly the car came to a halt and Quinn threw open the driver's door. There was a mumble of voices but Santana couldn't see who it was from the way she was laying. The door next to Brittany opened, "Santana, how are you feeling?" the deep voice came from above her. She didn't know if it was Hiram or Leroy, last time she had been at Rachel's she was already drunk out of her mind and couldn't remember if she'd asked the smaller girl or not about her fathers.
"Dizzy and my chest feels tight." She mumbled slightly confused as to why Rachel had thought it would be a good idea to take her to her father's rather than the hospital.
"You need to help her, Hiram." Quinn said with a panicked voice.
Hiram. I knew it. Santana thought to herself.
Hiram must have noticed the confusion on the girls face and quickly explained. "I'm a cardiac doctor at the hospital and since you have a serious heart condition, this is probably the best place for you to be right now since the other doctors are rubbish!" he mused then gave Santana a wink and chuckled. "Do you think you can stand or do you want me to carry you?"
"I can walk…" Santana muttered as she lifted herself up into Brittany's lap before swinging her legs around and out of the car. She didn't want to be causing this much trouble for the man.
The floor seemed further away as she tried to place her feet on the ground, it kept spinning and moving out of her reach, squinting her eyes to try and stop the movement but it wouldn't work.
"San?" Brittany asked as she stroked her hand up and down the Latina's back softly.
"I'm okay." She snapped. But as she turned to face Brittany who was wearing a pout on her lips she immediately regretted it. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap." She reached over and placed a soft kiss on Brittany's lips before she pushed up off of the seat but completely lost her balance and began to tip over. Brittany quickly wrapped her arms around Santana and hoisted her up and off the ground. "Put me down."
"What? And watch you fall flat on your face?" Brittany snorted as she followed Hiram into the house, all the way up the stairs and down the hall to the spare room. Brittany sighed when she placed Santana down on the bed, the Latina wasn't heavy but for some reason her arms felt weak. She quickly leaned down and planted a kiss on Santana's lips.
"Do you girls think you can give us some space?" Hiram asked softly as he pulled out his stethoscope out of a black leather bag and placed it to Santana's chest. Brittany turned to Santana who only nodded and sent her a soft smile.
"Go on, I'll be fine." She reassured the blonde. Brittany nodded softly before turning around and followed Quinn and Rachel out of the room.
"Are you hungry, B?" Quinn asked as they sat down in the living room in front of the fire. Brittany just shook her head; she didn't feel like eating, drinking or doing anything at all. She just wanted to curl up in bed with Santana and stop anything bad from ever happening to her.
"She's going to be okay you know?" Rachel placed her hand on Brittany's thigh.
"I know." Brittany nodded with a half-hearted smile. "She's strong; she's always going to be okay. She's going to be more than okay when she gets a new heart."
Rachel and Quinn gave each other an awkward look before turning back to the blonde. "Britt," Quinn started but Brittany just shook her head to silence her. She didn't want to hear Quinn telling her not to get her hopes up too much, she couldn't hear it anymore, and she'd had that same conversation with Santana over and over. It pissed her off to think how much Santana seemed to believe she had a shot at living but then suddenly changed her mind and turned all negative. She just hoped that Santana would be able to find a new heart soon.
But just as Brittany was about to get up and announce that she was going to bed, Hiram walked back into the room. All three girls fell silent at the man's presence. "Santana's sleeping but she seems to be okay for now. She took another pill so her heart rate should even out as much as it possibly can but for now I advise bed rest." He sat down next to Rachel and pulled her into a warm hug. "I've missed you so much." He planted a kiss on the top of her head.
"I've missed you too." She smiled as she pulled away. Brittany, Quinn and Rachel all stood up together, "We've had a really long day, is it okay if we all go to bed. I promise we can have a movie night tomorrow when Daddy is with us." Hiram nodded and hugged all three girls before wishing them good night.
"Thanks for being awesome tonight, you guys." Brittany said as she stood outside of hers and Santana's room. "I don't know what I would have done without you." Brittany smiled shyly and looked down at her feet as Quinn and Rachel both wrapped their arms tightly around the blonde. They didn't say anything but they all knew that they were grateful that Santana would be okay.
When Brittany had finally changed Santana and herself into shorts and a loose top without waking the Latina up, she climbed into bed. She let out a content sigh as she wrapped her arms protectively around Santana's waist then slid her leg between Santana's and pulled her body closer to her own. "I love you so much baby." Brittany mumbled into the Latina's ear.
"I 'ove you." Santana mumbled back sleepily as she laced her fingers with Brittany's. She smiled when she felt soft lips against the skin of her neck. "Thank you for tonight." Santana whispered as she slowly felt herself falling into a deep sleep.
"Shush, I love you." Their bodies completely tangled with each-others.
Santana was breathing heavy against Brittany's cheek, her fists were balled up around Brittany's baggy tee shirt and she was practically curled up on top of the blonde. Brittany's arms were wrapped loosely around Santana's waist as she planted soft kisses up the Latina's neck so as not to wake her from her slumber.
Brittany hadn't slept at all that night, the sun hadn't even started to come up yet but she couldn't sleep. Her mind was still reeling after last night's events. She could feel herself getting physically ill from constantly worrying about Santana. It seemed that more often than not, the Latina would have pains or be passing out. She had refused to go to the hospital however; she said she hated hearing the bad news be repeated over and over to her when she already knew what was going to be said.
Even though Santana's father was at home to look after her, it didn't make Brittany worry any less. And now that she had and actual cardiac doctor in the same house as her she still felt terrified for her girlfriends life.
She really couldn't take it anymore. Brittany knew she would snap at any moment and scream at Santana to go to the hospital before she dragged her there herself. Yes, she was mad at Santana for being so stubborn and yes she wanted her to have a new heart but there was nothing she could really do but be there for the girl. She had to stand by her through all of this and reassure her that she was going to make it…
"Stop thinking…" Brittany was pulled from her thoughts by the muffled voice against her neck. Santana fists tightened on Brittany's shirt and she tangled her legs into the blonde's. "I can feel your brain cogs turning." She giggled as Brittany kissed her temple. "What are you thinking about?"
"Oh, nothing." Brittany lied. Santana frowned, she knew the blonde well enough to know when she was lying. She leaned up on her elbow to look down into the blonde's eyes. Brittany sighed. "I'm just worried about you." She ducked her head to avoid eye contact with the Latina.
Santana lifted her hand and placed it softly against Brittany's cheek. "Brittany, please don't be worried about me," she paused to make eyes contact with her girlfriend. What else could she say? Everything else will be okay? It wasn't in fact everything was most likely going to get ten times as bed.
"How can I not when you always seem to be in pain or passing out? Your pills aren't working anymore and you refuse to go to the hospital. Santana, I'm not just worried, I'm terrified." Brittany's voice sounded frantic with worry and every other emotion she was feeling in that moment. She needed to get everything out but no words could ever describe how she felt.
Santana flinched at Brittany's words as they caused a sudden sting to fire its way up her spine. "Brittany…" she sighed sadly and leaned down to place a small kiss against her lips, she stared deeply into the blondes gorgeous eyes with their foreheads pressed together. Just as Brittany was about to speak again, the bedroom door creaked up and Quinn tip toed in.
"What do you want Quinn?" Santana snapped.
"Rachel is doing her work out and I need my sleep but she's playing her music really loud and since this is the farthest room from ours I was wondering if maybe… I could sleep in here?" Santana shot her a bewildered look as if to say "Get the fuck out of my room forz I endz you." But before she could say what she wanted, Brittany was shifting over to make room for the shorter blonde to climb in.
"Brittany!" Santana whined with a small pout as Quinn climbed into bed a wiggled about a bit before finally getting comfy and letting out a sigh.
"Thanks guys. One of these days I'm going to gag that girl…" Quinn muttered as she closed her eyes.
"Surprised you haven't already tried that yet, Q." Santana mumbled sarcastically before letting out a small scream as Quinn swung her hand out to her side to slap the Latina on the butt.
"My sex life is none of your business, Lopez." She spat causing Santana to giggle and roll her eyes. "Now shush, I need to sleep or I will end up killing someone later." She mumbled as she turned to cuddled up to Santana and Brittany.
Brittany finally found herself falling asleep just as the sun was beginning to rise.
Rachel had come into their room around seven o'clock when she had completed her workout only to find the three girls fast asleep together, she had tried to climb in next to Quinn but the blonde just mumbled and rolled over covering more space. So she decided to sprawl herself out on top of the girls. She didn't even care that her tits were being crushed by Brittany's hips, she hadn't got a wink of sleep the night before and as soon as her eyes closed, she was out cold.
Later that morning, Santana wiggled her body as she began to slowly wake up once again. But as she tried to move her hips she felt a heavy, uncomfortable weight pressing down on top of her. She groaned loudly and sat up as best as she could only to be met by a brunette sprawled out across the other three girls. "Are you shitting me, Rachel?" Santana shouted. "Is everyone just going to climb into bed with me and Britt? Hey guys, how about a foursome?!" she snapped exasperatedly as she waved her arms around in the air, her words dripped with sarcasm but she shoved Rachel then slapped Quinn a few times on the cheek to wake her up.
"Nice to hear you're back to your old self. How are you feeling?"
Santana just shrugged in reply. to be honest her chest was still hurting more than it usually did after something like this happened but she knew if she had one of her pills and some food she would probably start to feel better, maybe…
"And no, I would not like a foursome." She rolled her eyes and slid on top of Quinn.
"I don't know, Rach. It could be pretty fun." Quinn giggled sleepily causing the brunette on top of her to jab her in her ribs. "Ow, okay no foursomes. Sorry San."
"It's okay, Q. I've got my Britt-Britt here." She kissed her still sleeping girlfriend. "Poor girl, don't think she got any sleep." Santana pouted.
"I don't think any of us did, San. I think I finally got to sleep about four o'clock only to be woken up again an hour later." Quinn answered followed by a soft sorry from Rachel. "It's okay baby. We were all so worried about you, San."
Santana nuzzled her face into the crook of Brittany's neck to hide her tears. She didn't know if they were sad tears, angry tears or I'm so fucking scared I'm going to die soon and leave you amazing people tears. She couldn't say this out loud but she loved these girls more than anything. They were her family.
"I'm sorry…" Santana whispered with a shaky voice. She didn't want them to see the tears falling down her face or her shaking bottom lip.
"You don't have to be sorry for anything, Santana." Rachel reassured the Latina. "It's not your fault." Santana didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to reply without breaking down into a sobbing mess.
"Are you sleeping?" Quinn poked Santana still body, her silence hadn't gone unnoticed. Santana shook her head into her pillow and sniffled quietly. Her body shook slightly as a silent sob racked its way through her. Quinn knew straight away that Santana was crying or at least upset with the conversation so decided to say something else.
"How about we just have a lazy day and watch movies and shit? I doubt it's a good idea for you to go out for a while Santana." Quinn said as she carefully climbed out of bed trying not to wake up Brittany who had begun to stir.
"Sound's good to me." Rachel said as she quickly followed her girlfriend out of the room and laced their fingers together. "We'll make breakfast."
Santana rolled over into the now empty space next to her and sprawled her arms out. She let out a long heavy sigh, her mind was racing everything was a complete mess right now.
She turned on her side and began to talk to the sleeping blonde next to her. The last time she did this it helped her get her feelings off of her chest. "I'm sorry for scaring you, Brittany. I'm scared as well. I don't want to die… I don't want to leave you alone. It scares me to think that when I'm gone, you'll move on and find someone else, have kids and live happily ever after. I want to have that with you, Britt. I want to be selfish and keep you all to myself; I don't want anyone else to even look at you the way I look at you. I don't want them to touch you the way I touch you." She trailed her finger softly down the side of Brittany's neck. "I don't want anyone else to love you the way I love you." Santana was so busy ranting that she hadn't noticed the blondes breathing had changed.
She was pouring her heart out to Brittany even though the blonde was fast asleep and wouldn't know anything she had said, but that's why Santana was doing it. Brittany wouldn't be able to come out with a reply that would make Santana fall even more in love with her.
Santana had counted on one thing happening in the end, Brittany's heart breaking. But she hadn't even considered her own heart breaking when she left the blonde.
"But do you want to know what I'm most scared of?" Santana's voice fell to a whisper as she moved closer to Brittany's body. "What I'm completely and utterly terrified of?" Santana paused again… "I'm scared that you'll forget about me."
Santana heaved in three long shaky breaths to compose herself before climbing out of the bed and headed down to the kitchen to get some breakfast to fill her empty stomach. She swayed slightly as she walked towards the door; maybe she still wasn't completely right after last night. She quickly regained her balance and made her way down to her friends leaving the perfect blonde in their bed.
A single tear trailed down the side of Brittany's face.
"I'll never forget you, Santana."