I'm Back! You guys miss me?
i have the next three chapter ready I think so the next update should be later on this week, I'll just need to go over the chapters a few more times to make sure they're good enough.
one thing I need to ask you guys, I have a pretty good idea for the ending of this story but i was wondering if any of you would have some idea's of your own that you would like to see happen?
well here's the next chapter for you all please give me some feedback on how it's set out and what's going on. I hope you like it and don't hate me too much with all the angry and sad people.
please review! :)
Chapter 26
Part two
Brittany: 1 month later
"What the fuck do you have in this box, Rach?" Quinn groaned as she lifted she box into her arms and did her best to carry it up to Brittany's apartment. Things was getting annoying now; Quinn and Brittany had been doing all the heavy lifting whilst Rachel barked out orders to them whilst she sat with her feet up on the sofa watching some documentary on the 'history of Broadway'. However, that wasn't the main thing on her mind right now, she was doing her best to keep Brittany away from the stash of alcohol under her bed that she had refused to let Rachel or herself near. She was thankful that she had managed to drag the blonde out of bed. The dancer was still walking around in sweats and one of Santana's old shirts that she had been wearing since the day Santana had left.
"Just school books, take them into the bedroom." Quinn rolled her eyes but did as she was told. Rachel walked into the Kitchen where Brittany was making room in the cupboards for the couple's things. "Hey, Britt. I just wanted to thank you for letting us move in with you. We really weren't getting anywhere with the apartment hunting and it was starting to get irritating." She placed her hand softly onto Brittany's bicep and squeezed. "It really means a lot to us, thank you." Brittany smiled and rolled her eyes at the diva's politeness then pulled her into a warm hug. The movement rattled her brain painfully in side of her mind in her hung over state but she tried not to show the grimace on her face.
"I'm the one who should be thanking you guys. It's been way too quiet around here lately and I'm sure someone's been stealing my shoes… or maybe they've just been wandering off again." Brittany said completely seriously causing Rachel to chuckle in the crook of the blonde's neck. The brunette pulled away to be met by sad almost pained eyes that almost broke her heart to look at. She had no idea how Brittany was still coping. Wait scratch that, she knew exactly how. Alcohol, hundreds of tubs of ice cream and sad film after sad film was how Brittany was living her life and to be honest, that isn't exactly what Rachel would call coping. It was more existing without a meaning in life. Quinn and her had lost count of the many nights they would get a phone call with a drunken blonde on the other line crying a blubbering something about Santana.
It was always Santana.
Rachel couldn't help feel a pang of hatred curse through her blood towards the Latina. How could someone hurt Brittany so much? Santana had turned a once bubbly blonde into an almost catatonic shell of the girl they all once knew.
"Still hurts?" She asked softly with a worried expression. Brittany just gave a barely there nod as her eyes glassed over and tears threatened to spill but instead of letting the diva see them she buried her face into her shoulder. "Everything's going to be okay you know? You've got me and Quinn and we're not going to leave you. Ever." Rachel felt the blonde's head nod against her and she squeezed her arms tighter around the taller girl's waist. Rachel knew she could never do to Quinn what Santana had done to Brittany, she could never live with herself, regret and sadness would be too much and she wouldn't have been able to cope she wouldn't end up hating herself constantly. That's why she would always be here for Brittany, no matter what.
Quinn silently entered the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and best friend. "Yeah, you've got us, B." She stated surely. They were all feeling the pain the Latina had caused them but Brittany was by far taking it much worse than Quinn and Rachel, but that was understandable. They all loved Santana but Brittany was in love with Santana, she still was and probably always would be. And just being abandoned the way she was had completely broken her heart and pretty much shattered her ability to be happy and enjoy life. She had practically been texting Quinn and Rachel 24/7 to make sure they hadn't left her either, she was so paranoid about being left alone and everyone leaving her. First it was her parents – complete dick heads in Quinn's eyes – who left just because of who she was and then Santana – her best friend – left for what Quinn thought was to keep Brittany from getting heart-broken but destroyed everything good inside and out of the blonde.
"You know, Brittany… Maybe it isn't a good idea you sleeping in Santana's room with her things all around you." Quinn mumbled quietly, she didn't want to upset the blonde.
"It helps me sleep; she helps me sleep so as long as I'm surrounded by her things it feels like she's still here." Brittany's voice was shaky with emotion but she did her best to keep in under control. "Even if I'm only sleeping for an hour, it's better than not at all." Brittany knew that maybe Quinn was right but she wouldn't admit that. It made her feel safer sleeping in there. It made her feel like she could reach out and just touch the Latina anytime she wanted and all of the horrible pain would just go away.
She had kept the photo album that the Latina's mother had given her daughter for Christmas on the pillow beside her and would flick through the many pages of new photos they had put in together over the months they had been together, the pair of them standing outside of the empire state building, the Statue of Liberty, in Vibez, shopping, central park, Lima, the apartment and Brittany's favourite, their bed, Santana with her bed head and sleepy eyes and Brittany smiling brightly next to her and looking deep into the dark orbs, both of them clearly in love. That was by far her favourite.
She found herself crying every time she would stroke Santana's face in one of those pictures and probably wouldn't stop until the sun was just rising in the sky.
Quinn nodded her head in understanding. "But what if the reason you're not sleeping very well is because you're sleeping in there, maybe it would be better if you kept your old room?" the shorter blonde offered, she just wanted the best for her friend. It killed her to see Brittany so broken and empty. Brittany pulled away and shook her head. She needed Santana's room to be kept the same; she didn't want that to change as well. She wanted something that was still linking her to the Latina.
"I'm staying in her room, Quinn." Brittany stated firmly before storming off to Santana's bedroom. She collapsed down onto the bed face down and inhaled the Latina's vanilla sent. Brittany's eyes began to fill with salty tears once again like they had so many other times when she lay in this room. She wrapped herself up in the bed sheets and closed her eyes, she wanted to fall asleep and hope that when she woke up this past month would have all been a dream and she would open her eyes and see that Latina in her hospital bed all ready to be taken home.
She let herself slowly fall asleep, her entire being filled with hope but yet drowned in scepticism.
She slowly and reluctantly opened her eyes after what could have been an hour or more, only to be hit with complete and utter disappointment. She was still curled up in Santana's black bed sheets and she was still alone, the same as every other time she had woken up. She turned to face the table beside the bed with a bottle of whisky, an empty glass and a digital clock reading eight thirty on it. Okay, so maybe she had been a sleep much longer than an hour, she had been missing out on that a lot lately.
She pressed the heels of her hands firmly into her eyes until white sparks were erupting in the darkness as she tried to push the tears back inside. She cursed to herself over and over again until the words became incoherent and muffled by her loud sobs.
She shifted slightly on top of Santana's pillow and heard a quiet rustle beneath it. Her brow dipped in confusion and she sat up slightly to reach behind and retrieve whatever had caused the disturbance.
Brittany's eyes widened at the folded, crumpled piece of paper in her hand. Her heart began to race as she traced her fingers over the familiar writing. She felt tears spill over just as heavy and more quickly than they had been a moment before, she pulled out a pen and crossed of the things Santana hadn't had a chance to.
My bucket list:
- Climb a tree
- Learn how to skim a stone
- Spend Christmas with my best friends (x)
- Spend New Year's Even in New York (x)
- Have a snow ball fight in Central Park (x)
- Overcome my fears of flying on planes
- Read a book
- Go to the beach
- Bake a cake for Britt's birthday (x)
- Wish on a shooting star (x)
- Go skinny dipping
- Kiss in the rain
- Have a picnic under the stars (x)
- Fall in love (x)
- Get married
She still didn't understand why the Latina left her. Everything was going to be okay, she was going to live.
Brittany had spent the first two weeks after, walking around the streets of New York hoping that every time she would see a Latina or a brunette that it would be Santana. She had once been walking through Central Park and swore she had seen her and began to shout the Santana's name but when the girl had finally turned round and gave her a look that said she thought the blonde might have just escaped a mental institution, Brittany had broken down against an old tree and let the tears cascade down her already red face.
Things got even worse when May tenth came around. She had totally forgotten that she had the Latina's birthday saved in her phone and woke up to a loud ringing in her ears to remind her. She had forgotten that she had ordered a silver charm bracelet that Santana had been admiring in a shop window and cried for an hour when the delivery man turned up with it in his hands and asked her to sign for it. But the sad thing was, she had been so preoccupied with being depressed and angry with the girl for leaving, she had forgotten it was even Santana's birthday.
She didn't know what she was feeling towards the Latina anymore. She knew she was still so deeply in love with Santana that it hurt, but she also felt infuriated, pissed and completely angered towards the girl for leaving her without giving her a proper good bye and a good enough reason.
"You couldn't have just gotten a cab?" Brittany asked with a slightly irritated tone. She tapped impatiently on the steering wheel and waited for the lights to change from red back to green so they could go and pick Santana and Marco up. "Santana's getting ready to come home and the doctor was coming to give her a final check-up or something; I didn't want to leave her alone." She stated as she pulled up in front of the hospital.
"Calm your tits, Britt." Quinn rolled her eyes as she followed the taller blonde out of her car with Rachel closely behind her. "She's still going to be here." They entered the hospital and made their way over to the lift and pressed the button for the fourth floor. Brittany beamed unconsciously and began to tap her foot. "Someone's excited."
Brittany turned to face the blonde with an arched eyebrow, her smile didn't once falter. "I am. I mean why wouldn't I be? She's going to be okay, Quinn! Well, I mean as okay she as she can be in her situation. Who knows? Maybe she will get a new heart by the end of this year?" She clenched her fists by her sides and wiggled with excitement.
Rachel and Quinn giggled at the blonde's actions and enthusiasm, "We should have a celebratory party for her when we get home, just the four of us and maybe Marco if he wants to." Rachel offered.
Brittany's smile grew if it was possible and she began to nod her head furiously in agreement. "Yes! That's an amazing idea." They walked down the corridor towards Santana's room. She frowned when she saw the door to the Latina's room had been opened and all of the lights had been turned off, she unconsciously sped up her pace until she was sprinting down the corridor. Why would they have done that? She wasn't sleeping again was she? If she was the door would have been closed… The only reason the lights would have been turned off was if… "San-" Brittany stopped mid-word when she realised the room was in fact completely empty. "San?" Brittany poked her head into the bathroom to see if the girl was maybe in there but the lights were off.
"Where's she gone?" Quinn's voice caused Brittany to spin on her heals as panic began to rise within her.
"Brittany." The blonde's both turned to look at Rachel who was standing by the now perfectly made bed with a white sheet of paper in her hand. "You might want to see this."
Brittany blinked furiously to rid the painful memory from her mind and released a heavy breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding while she was lost in her trance.
Lately she found herself living her thought's a lot more than actually living in reality.
Maybe that was a bad thing but she preferred to be there than face the pain her everyday life seemed to be causing her. She wasn't going to lie, she had thought about giving up all together. She hoped that way the pain deep inside of her soul would disappear but when it came round to actually doing it, she had no idea what to do.
She was too scared.
So in the end, she was screwed.
She wiped the back of her hands across her face to get rid of the wet sticky liquid on her cheeks and pulled out a neatly folded sheet of paper from her back pocket. She had never once put it down - apart from when she was in the shower – and always kept it in her pocket or in her bra. She stared at the perfectly neat handwriting and traced a pail finger over the words.
"I'm so sorry. But this is the best for everyone, especially me and you. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make but it was definitely the right one, no matter how much it hurts me to leave you.
But I need you to make me a promise, please don't come looking for me, don't contact me or any of my family including my father. It will just cause more pain and I don't want you to hurt like I am.
You're free, Britt. You can live your life properly without having to worry about me all the time.
I'm sorry.
You will always be my Britt-Britt.
I love you."
Brittany couldn't hold back the sob that always broke through whenever she read the note Santana had left her. She would always feel a rush of so many emotions it felt completely overwhelming.
Brittany wished she could say she kept to Santana's promise but she never. As soon as she had read the note in that hospital room, she had pulled out her phone with shaky hands and dialled Santana's number and was immediately diverted to a woman's voice telling her that the number she had just dialled was no longer active. Then she called Marco but he'd turned his phone off for whatever reason… panic, anger, you name it, she felt it and she'd ended up throwing her phone across the room in frustration and watched as it shattered into tiny pieces on the laminate floor.
"Why? Why did she do this to me?" She sobbed to herself as she buried her face into the palms of her hands. "She was going to be okay. We were going to be okay." her words were incoherent now and to anyone else would have sounded like quite mumbles and grunts under her breath. She looked up with blurred vision towards the table beside the bed and reached out unsteadily for the bottle of whisky. She stared blankly at the brown liquid before she unscrewed the top and brought the bottle to her lips. She coughed and spluttered at the fowl taste and burning sensation in her mouth and throat but that didn't stop her from taking another couple of mouthfuls.
There was a quiet knock at the bedroom door and Brittany slowly looked up through blurry eyes and tear soaked eyelashes to be met by hazel eyes. "Brittany…" It was just above a whisper; Brittany had to strain to be able to hear the shorter blonde's words. "Are you okay?" her words were laced with concern which also played a similar emotion across her face.
"I'm fine." Brittany lied through gritted teeth. She didn't want to be getting into this now, there was so much racing through her mind, and she didn't want to risk snapping at Quinn when all she'd been was a perfect friend to her lately.
"Don't lie to me, B." Quinn said sternly but kept the concern and love in her voice. "And please, don't shut me out." The shorter blonde sat down next to Brittany and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. Brittany stayed silent for a moment as she found interest in her intertwined fingers resting in her lap that were still securely wrapped around the note Santana had left her. "It's okay to talk about how you're feeling you know? You don't have to keep it all locked up inside and act like it's wrong to be upset that the love of your life did a runner." Brittany flinched at Quinn's words. She clenched her eyes tightly shut and squeezed out the remaining tears that were blurring her vision, she breathed in a shaky breath before speaking.
"I'm fine, for fuck sake, Quinn. Just leave me alone with my whisky and leave me to die." Brittany snapped harshly. Quinn was slightly started by the taller girls use of words, never in a million years had she thought that Brittany would ever speak to anyone like that before.
"I'm not going anywhere." She stated firmly and crossed her legs Indian style on top of the bed to prove that she wasn't bluffing. "I'm going to stay right here with you and we're going to get drunk." Brittany raised an eyebrow at Quinn who was now leaning over the side of the bed and pulling up another bottle of some kind of alcohol that Santana had kept in her not so 'secret' stash. Quinn cringed as whatever liquid she had just gulped a mouthful of made its way into her stomach. "This is fowl." She took another sip despite herself. "But whatever, it must be worth something if Santana owns it." she smirked at the bottle in her hands and leaned back against the headboard with Brittany.
They sat quietly for a few short minutes. The only noises that could be heard were the sound of the wind outside of window, snoring from Rachel in the other bedroom and the two blonde's breathing. That was until Brittany spoke.
"I just don't want to talk about how I'm feeling out loud because then it's like actually admitting she's gone. I just want to wake up and find her by my side smiling at me in that dumb way she does when she's tired or watch her walk across the room and do that little skip she does when she's happy that she thinks no one knows she does." Brittany leaned in closer with a sad smile on her face and rested her head limply on Quinn's shoulder. "I just want her to come home."
"Me too, Britt. Me too." Quinn mumbled into the top of Brittany's head.
"Quinn?" Brittany's voice was soft but the alcohol was definitely beginning to show.
"Hmm?"
"Santana's father gave me his new address before he left-" Brittany was cut off when an irritated groan left Quinn's lips followed by the quiet popping noise of her mouth pulling away from the bottle she was still drinking from.
"Brittany, we've talked about this. Santana doesn't want us to go looking for her. We don't even know if she's at Marco's. She could be staying with anyone from her family or on her own somewhere, for all we know she might be d-" Quinn stopped herself from finishing her sentence; it would hurt Brittany as much as it would hurt herself to even voice that thought. A thought that either of them was terrified of even considering to even being a possibility.
"I know. I wasn't going to say that. I was going to ask if you thought it would be okay to send Marco Santana's bucket list… I mean, I don't know if he'd find it interesting or anything but maybe he could send it to Santana or something if he knows where she is." Her last words were harsh and laced with pain but her voice was filled with doubt and it was clear that the blonde only wanted to get rid of the item; it was clearly causing her more pain than was needed. Maybe it would be easier without so many memories…
Quinn hesitated for a moment as she contemplated Brittany's words. "I think that would be a good idea, Santana still might want to finish it." Quinn ignored Brittany's last words; she smiled down reassuringly at Brittany who attempted a half-hearted one in return. "But maybe we should try getting back to normal before we do it though?" Quinn offered softly.
"Okay." Brittany nodded and leaned in closer to Quinn's embrace as they both lost themselves in their drunken haze.
Santana: 1 month later
As she laid there in her bed and stared out of the window blankly at the waves as they crashed up onto the white sandy beach, all that she could feel was the pain deep down inside of her body. It started down at the base of her spine and worked its way up until it seemed to web out in her chest and reached every part of her upper body. It made her heart burn, her lungs ache and her chest throb.
She had cried nonstop for the past three weeks – including her birthday which she refused to celebrate, even when her father bought her a cake and a present. She resorted to drowning herself in alcohol; she just wanted to numb the pain as best she could - until just two days ago she stopped. She stopped because she was so tired and worn out that she just couldn't make herself work anymore, she didn't have the energy to lift the glass to her lips, swallow the disgusting liquid and then zone out of her life. She just couldn't do it anymore.
She couldn't function properly without the aid of her father dragging her out of bed every day to put her in the shower and feed her which would have been completely humiliating if she cared.
She had cried so much that her tear ducts just wouldn't produce anymore tears, even they had given up.
All that she could picture in her mind was the last time she had ever spoken to Brittany. "I love you, so much, Brittany. You know that right?" She pictured the way Brittany's eyes lit up at her words and the way her lips turned up into an adorable smile that she missed so much. She remembered the way the kiss they had shared had felt so intense and so amazing at the same time. All these thoughts were soon followed by a jolt of pain deep in her gut that was the last moment the two had shared, the last time they had touched each other, the last time they had been happy with each other. It felt like more than a life time ago now but was no less than a month.
Santana wondered how Brittany had been coping with her not being around. Had the blonde found her letter? Was she mad with her for leaving? Santana hoped she wasn't. Her mind would always end up wandering to the blonde and it would take a pretty big distraction to bring her back to reality. Her father had found her day dreaming a week ago and almost had a heart attack when he thought she was dead, he had had to slam two frying pans together in front of her face when he realised she wasn't actually dead to bring her back to reality and even that had taken a couple of seconds.
She looked up from writing the note with tears streaming down her face, her body was already trembling. Marco looked at her worriedly and wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders securely to keep her from shaking off of the bed. "What's going on, mija?" his voice was panicked and strained. He didn't need to ask her what she was thinking; he could figure that out for himself.
"We're leaving, tonight. I'm coming with you to California." She explained.
"Why? Why would you want to leave now? Everything's getting better for you, Santana. You and Britt-" he was cut off just before he could finish his sentence by an adamant look on her face.
"I can't stay here, not when I've still got a messed up life. I can't have her worrying still. And having you living with us this past month or whatever has been amazing. I didn't get the chance to be close to you when I was younger and I feel this has actually made up for that, I don't know how I could survive with you being so far away from me. This is just best for everyone." She didn't give him a chance to speak when she held up a hand to silence him. "You're chief of medicine at Long Beach, you can fly me out of here on medical grounds. But it needs to be now, before Brittany gets back." She pulled his phone out of his pocket when he didn't move and searched through his contacts. "Call them." She held it out to him and he slowly took it but didn't make another move to dial the number she had clicked on. This only made more tears cascade down her already soaked cheeks. "Please, papá." She begged.
Marco felt his heart shatter in his chest at the sight of his broken daughter. He wanted her to be happy and if she thought this was what she wanted then how could he deny her that? "Okay."
Santana's eyes twitched as she came back to reality, she felt a warm, gentle hand cupping her cheek. Her father was crouched down in front of her bed restricting her view of the sparkling blue waves. He wore his usual worried smile whenever he found her in one of her trances and ran his fingers through her hair. "Where did you just go?" he asked softly so he didn't startle her.
"Back to the night we left." She whispered, her voice was croaking and groggy from just waking up less than ten minutes ago. He gave her a concerned look but she just sent him a soft smile. "What's for breakfast?" she tried to change the subject quickly before it got too intense.
Marco's lips curled up into a smile. "Fruit salad, toast, and poached eggs." He stood up and headed towards the door. "Please come down, it's not good for you to just lay here and waist away. If you get up now, you can help me cut up the fruit." She grinned up at him.
Santana considered this for a while, she knew he was right but she really didn't want to. She didn't even know if she still had the use of her legs, it had been so long since she had walked without the help of her father. She looked back to his pleading eyes, "I'll just get dressed." He nodded and closed her door behind him. She sat with her legs out of the side of the bed and her feet placed firmly on the cool wooden floor of her bedroom as she stared intently out of the window at the crashing waves. She knew she would never grow tired of waking up to this view but she also knew that she missed waking up to Brittany even more. She shook her head to rid it of the thought and quickly threw on some shorts and a tank top and tied her hair up into a messy bun on the top of her head.
"Good morning, baby." Marco greeted from the stove as he began to poach the eggs. She smiled at him sweetly and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "How did you sleep?"
Santana shrugged and began to cut up the pile of fruit he had laid out for her. "Same as always. It's like the harder I try the less tired I am." She explained nonchalantly. There was a sudden jolt of pain in her chest and she cringed as a wired electrical buzz vibrated in her chest. She gasped and clutched the table top roughly causing her knuckles to turn white. Her ICD was sending electrical pulses into her heart to keep it at a regular rate, something that had been happening all too often lately. "I'm never going to get used to feeling this."
"At least you haven't needed it to actually restart your heart." Marco gave her a concerned look as he turned off the stove and place the eggs and toast out onto two plates. "Maybe you should get out and get some fresh air?" Santana opened her mouth to speak but Marco held up a hand to silence her. "I don't just mean sitting out in the garden or walking the ten feet down to the beach, I mean take a walk into town?" his eyes looked pleading. He was worried about his daughter's health; she didn't seem to be motivated anymore. He understood that she was missing Brittany and that she regretted leaving the blonde but that wasn't as important as her own health.
"I can't. I have friends here in California, if one of them were to see me and tell Brittany…" She closed her eyes and inwardly flinched at the thought. "I don't want her to come looking for me, papá. I want her to have a normal life but she can't have that with me around." Marco looked deep into his daughter's eyes only to see pure pain as she spoke.
"I know, and I understand that but you can't live in here for the rest of your life. It's not healthy for you." He reached over and placed his hand on top of Santana's. "I'm sure," Marco paused as he thought back to the first time he had met Santana's friends. "That the first time you had that party with your friends that Mercedes's and Sam told me that they were living in LA?" Santana nodded, not sure where he was going with this. "And Tina and Mike?" He asked not sure if he had gotten their names right. When Santana nodded again he carried on. "Aren't they living in San Francisco?"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?" she questioned.
"Why would they ever come to Long Beach? They don't know you're here so why would they?"
Santana relaxed at the man's words as she realised what he was telling her. No one she knew would ever see her here if they didn't even know she was here. She was counting on the fact that Brittany, Quinn and Rachel hadn't chosen to tell anyone that she had ran off with her father to California.
"Okay." That's all she had said before she walked back up to her room. An hour or so had passed before she decided to come back down, she had showered, done her makeup, her hair and had changed into a short pair of denim shorts and a lightly coloured top that hugged her curves perfectly but would keep her cool in the heat. It also covered enough of her chest to hide the ugly, dark pink scar and the slight bulge where her ICD was situated. She had never gotten used to looking at it, it always made her cringe when she was washing in the shower and her hand would graze over the top of it. There was just something about having wire and metal stuck inside of her that made her stomach churn.
Marco watched from the kitchen island with a bright smile. "Wow. You look beautiful, baby."
Santana blushed and looked down at the ground. "Could you come with me?" she asked awkwardly. "I haven't been here before; maybe you could show me around?"
Marco's smile grew, "I thought you'd never ask." He jumped up and ran towards the door to pull on some shoes. He made his way back over to where Santana was standing, opened the door and held his arm out for Santana to hook hers through. "Where to first then?"
"Shops. I need something to take my mind of things and that's probably the best way to do It." she explained half-heartedly while he nodded in agreement.
"Do you want me to help you carry some of those?" Marco gestured to the Latina's hands that were carrying five loaded bags in each one.
"I've got them don't worry." Santana reassured her father who just rolled his eyes disbelievingly and pulled the bags out of one of her hands. "I've only got a fucked up heart you know? I do have the use of my arms and hands." She mumbled.
"Watch your language." Marco scolded but smiled at his daughter none the less. "And I know but I want to help."
They fell into a comfortable silence as they walked along the beach. The sky was a perfect blue with no sign of a cloud for as far as Santana could see. They walked over to a bench and placed the bags down in the sand as they stared out into the distance. "I'm glad I'm here." Santana mumbled as she lay her head down onto her Marco's shoulder. She slowly slipped off her shoes and began to wiggle her toes down into the warm sand.
"Me too." He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Do you regret it though?"
Santana shifted awkwardly for a moment before answering. "I don't know, I mean I regret leaving her, but I don't regret being here. I just wish things weren't so messed up." She sighed and closed her eyes so she could concentrate on the sound of the waves and the way Marco's heart beat beneath his chest. It seemed to calm her and she found herself not caring anymore. All the pain seemed to disappear and New York was gone.
"Oh shit!" Marco's voice pulled her from her peaceful thoughts as he jumped to his feet. "You've got an appointment at the hospital in half an hour."
Santana's eyes widened. "You're choosing to tell me this now?" she jumped to her feet and began to gather her bags.
"No, wait here. I'll go and get the car and pick you up. I don't want you running and passing out or something." He explained as he began to jog down the beach towards their home. Santana rolled her eyes and sat back down on the bench, as much as she loved living with her father, she hated how over protective he was of her. It was getting annoying.
She looked up and down the beach at the different people who were walking around, to her left there was an old couple walking up with their hands joined by their sides. To her right there was a mother and son, the mother was sitting in the sand just behind the little boy who looked to be no less than three years old who was splashing and screaming in excitement in the water. Santana found herself smiling at the two different sights. She wanted that, she wanted to grow old and still be in love, she wanted to be able to bring her kids here and watch them play in the water. She wanted all of that with Brittany. That was when she felt the tears sting her eyes and the sob break through the peaceful silence. She brought her knees up to her chest and buried her face into them.
This place was so perfect and so beautiful but none of that compared to Brittany. Nothing would ever compare to the blonde.
"Are you okay?" a voice she didn't recognise came from beside her; she bolted to an upright position and quickly wiped away her tears. "Miss?" the voice came again when she didn't answer the first time. She turned to face a man probably in his early or mid-twenties with nerd style glasses and sandy coloured hair combed over to the left. He wore a blue and red flannel top that was buttoned up all way to the collar and tight navy blue skinny jeans. He had what looked to be a camera bag slung over his left shoulder.
Definitely gay. She thought to herself. "Err, sorry. I'm fine. Just got something in my eye." She tried hard to keep her voice from shaking and mustered up the best smile she could so he hopefully wouldn't ask any more questions.
The man arched his eyebrow at the Latina, obviously not believing the girl but chose not to pry in her business. Instead he stretched his hand out towards the girl, "I'm Dylan, nice to meet you." He said with a charming smile. She looked into his piercing green eyes that sent shivers down her spine at how beautiful they were. Maybe if she was straight and he wasn't so unbelievably gay she would have been attracted to him.
Santana found a genuine smile begin to form on her lips, "Santana." She stated as she shook his hand. "Sorry you had to see me like this; I've had a pretty crazy month."
"Don't worry about it. It happens to the best of us." if only you knew. She thought. He held his hands up and shook his head, "It's good to let out your emotions." She nodded and turned back to face the ocean. "I love coming here, it's a perfect place to relax and the views are amazing for taking pictures." Dylan said as he pulled out his camera followed by the snapping sound of him taking pictures. The Latina followed his line of sight and landed on the mother and son by the water's edge. Santana smiled and relaxed further into the bench. She couldn't wait to have that.
"You're a photographer?" she asked curiously. She had always found photography interesting, something about being able to catch a single moment in a photo and being able to find the perfection in someone making it last forever.
"Yeah, my father owns a small studio just a couple of blocks away. I didn't fancy working for him at first but the moneys really good and when he handed me the camera I just felt a connection you know?" Santana had the feeling he was over doing it a bit. So gay. She smirked to herself at the thoughts running through her mind and nodded in reply.
Suddenly, a car horn blared from behind them and Santana spun round to see her father in the car tapping his wrist impatiently. "Sorry, I better go." she could feel the blush creeping up her neck at her father's embarrassing behaviour.
"I hope to see you around, Santana?" Dylan said as he stood up to face Santana. Wow he's tall. She thought, he could have even been taller than Finn but was skinner and probably had bigger muscles instead of fat like Finn did.
She pulled out her phone and handed it over to him. "How about I'll call you and we can meet up again soon?" she asked, usually she would never be this open with strangers but there was something about Dylan that made her comfortable and made her forget about her and New York. He handed her the phone back and she slipped it into her pocket before jogging off up the steps to her father's car. "Bye!" she shouted out of the window as the teller boy waved at her.
"Who was that?"
"Dylan, and before you ask, he's definitely gay." She reassured her father who visibly relaxed in his seat.
"I wasn't worried." He lied. Santana smirked and punch his shoulder playfully.
"I'm a big girl; I know what I'm doing." When he didn't answer she turned to stare out of her window at the setting sun and all the different coloured lights in shop windows that had begun to turn on and brighten up the sidewalks.
Her mind flashed back to the night she left.
The engine of the airplane roared in her ears as they flew over the city. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest – this time not because she was absolutely terrified of the plane crashing and everyone dying, her fears were none existent in her mind at the moment - and the tears were pouring from her eyes and soaking the collar of her hoodie. She pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head against the window and stared out at the skyscrapers and buildings beneath her. The different coloured lights flashed against her face and lit up her features as they passed over the top of them until all that could be seen around them was complete blackness. She was leaving her girlfriend and her best friends behind; she had never felt so lonely in her entire life.
"Everything will be okay, mija." Marco whispered and placed a hand in hers. But even she could hear the uncertainty in his voice. She could tell he was only trying to distract her from the thought of Brittany not being in her life ever again. "You're going to love it in California. The new house is actually only about thirty miles away from the one I used to share with your mother."
Santana noticed the change of tone in her father's voice towards the end of his sentence. She knew that her father was still in love with her mother but also knew that the both of them were probably better off without her, better off without anyone in their past being around to distract them on their new future. "We're both going to be fine. As long as we've got each other."