So I'm not exactly please with the way this chapter turned out but if i change anything then I would have to change the ending of the story and it's not worth it, so I hope you like it even if im not pleased with it.

please review and tell me what you thought.

Chapter 29

Brittany:

"Are you going to tell me what the hell that was about?" Kristen asked ludicrously as she walked into the hotel room where Brittany was already lying on her bed with her face buried deep into the pillow. She had left the building without giving another word to her group; she had picked up her duffel and ran.

"Just leave me alone, Kristen." Brittany mumbled with no emotion in her words what so ever.

"No, not until you tell me what happened back there." The blonde felt the end of the bed sink where Kristen sat down. "Everyone is worried about you, Britt."

Brittany's head snapped up. "Don't call me that." Her voice was harsh and cold as her eyes pierced into the brunette's.

"Wh- what?" Kristen stuttered out in shock as she steadied herself from falling off the side.

"I said don't call me that, you can't say… just… ugh." Brittany buried her face into the palms of her hands. She hadn't been called that since… since Santana and hearing someone who wasn't the Latina call her that just made her chest ache. She bit back the tears that were on the verge of falling, she'd already cried for the past hour she didn't want to do it again. "Please, don't call me that." She whispered shakily.

"I'm sorry." Kristen shuffled up the bed and placed her hand on Brittany's shoulder. Brittany felt herself relaxing under the other girls touch and let her body lean against the brunette's side. It felt weird being this close to someone who wasn't Quinn, Rachel or Santana. It almost felt nice. Almost being the key word here. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Brittany hesitated for a moment. Did she really want to let this girl in past her walls? Walls that had risen high the moment Santana had left her. Could she really risk being hurt again? There really wasn't any way of knowing if she could trust this woman, Kirsten had given Brittany no reason not too… "I got a feeling when we were dancing, a feeling that I haven't gotten in a long time." Brittany paused when she saw a blush creep up onto Kristen's cheeks. "No, not that sort of feeling." She quickly jumped to explain herself. "It was like I was being watched."

The brunette's eyebrows slipped up as she sent Brittany a confused look. "Of course you were being watched, Brittany. There were more than fifty thousand people with their eyes on you."

Brittany shook her head but didn't say anything. Instead she stood up and walked over to the door to their room. "You won't understand, I'm going out for a little while. Call me if you need anything." Kristen knew that the blonde didn't want her to follow her but she also knew that Brittany would end up wandering off to a bar or some place that sold alcohol in any shape or form. Quinn had pacifically told her not to let Brittany drink and considering the emotional state that the blonde was in right now, it probably wasn't the best idea to let her wander off by herself.

"Wait up!" Kristen called after the retreating blonde.

"Don't follow me." Brittany stated simply as she began to speed up her walking until she was inside the elevator and repeatedly pressing the button to the lobby. Thankfully the doors were closed just before Kristen could reach her. She sighed and leaned against the metal wall and brought her shaking hands up to her face to wipe away the tears that had begun falling somewhere in the time it had taken her to get to the elevator.

"Fuck." Kristen snapped as she ran towards the stairs to race down and hopefully beat Brittany to the lobby. She pushed open the door and was met by the bright lights and about fifty people who were all carrying bags and talking. Thank god that she was taller than everyone in this room or she wouldn't have seen the blonde jog out of the huge glass doors at the front of the building. "Shit." She mumbled as a huge party of people came in through the front doors blocking her from getting to Brittany.

Brittany mentally cursed to herself when the streets were bare of any cabs. She looked left then right before jogging across the road towards the nearest bar. She needed to numb the pain, she needed to relax and she was going to do that the only way she knew how.

Drink.

She was going to drink until she passed and someone found her to take her home. She knew she shouldn't and she knew her liver probably hated her right now but she could apologise in the morning.

"What can I get you?" the bearded man behind the bar asked her. His eyes wandered down to her cleavage that her tank top was showing. She scowled at the man and folded her arms across her chest.

"Whisky." She muttered and climbed up onto a bar stool. He passed her a glass and she downed it almost instantly before asking him to refill it.

"Rough night?" he asked curiously as he doubled the amount of whisky he was pouring into her glass.

"Rough night, rough year, rough life, what's the difference?" she muttered nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders. He smiled at her sympathetically as he began to wipe down the bar top with an already dirty cloth. Brittany cringed at the sight and withdrew her hands from where they were resting on the bar, she didn't know how many germs there was and to be honest she didn't want to find out.

"I know what you mean," he mumbled as he leaned on his elbow a respectful enough distance away from the blonde. "The wife just left me, she kicked me out of the house and my brother moved in. Left me with nothing but the clothes on my back and this place." He gestured to the bar with a wave of his hand. "Been sleeping down here for the best of three months." He grumbled. As Brittany looked closer at the man she could see the he would probably be quite handsome if he got rid of the beard and moustache. He had tanned skin just like Santana's and his eyes were a light hazel with flakes of green. Yup, definitely would be a good catch for a straight woman.

Brittany looked up with sad eyes and couldn't help but feel sorry for the man. "Sounds like you deserve one of these more than I do." She pushed her glass over to him.

"Can't drink on the job." He held his hands up in defence but Brittany wasn't having any of it.

"I won't tell anyone." She gave the glass another push until he took it and downed the amber liquid.

"Names Dan." He held out his hand for the blonde to take and she shook it with a genuine smile.

"Brittany."

"Nice to meet you, Brittany. So tell me, what's got a pretty girl like you in a place like this?" he asked as he lifted up the bottle of whisky ready to pour but she stopped him.

"Do you have any Jack Daniel's?" he nodded and poured her a fresh glass. San's favourite drink. She thought to herself as she brought the liquid to her lips and took a sip. "It's a long story." She muttered after a couple of seconds. "I don't know if I want to talk about it."

Dan nodded in understanding and backed away, "just wave me over if you want a refill." She nodded and looked down into the dark liquid in her glass. What the fuck was she doing? She was a wreck. Her whole life had turned upside down in a matter of six months. She was a depressed mess and drowning herself in alcohol was doing her no good what so ever.

Fifty minutes later and the room was spinning, everything had turned fuzzy and her words were slurring as she spilled everything to the man in front of her. "And… and… then she just… she just like got up and left." Brittany held her hands in the air as her voice turned squeaky and her eyes squinted at Dan. "I mean she didn- didn't even say good bye! I was just stood there… in an empty hospital room." she slurred angrily followed by a hiccup. She had just finished telling Dan the whole story of her and Santana from start to finish. Actually from start to finish. The day they had first met in preschool to the night in the hospital.

"That sucks." Dan said seriously as he sat beside the blonde. He had just finished his shift and was now equally as drunk as Brittany was. "Women suck!" he shouted as he slammed his glass down onto the bar. "No offence." He quickly mumbled to the blonde.

"I totally agree. I don't understand them. One minute they're all like 'I love you, Brittany" next there fuck knows where in the world!" Brittany rambled as she did her best Santana impersonation.

"Totally. Everything could be going well one day and the next they're kicking you out, shipping your brother in and telling you that you can't see your own fucking kids again! I brought them up while she buggered off on all these 'business meetings.'" He air quoted. "Oh god, you don't think she was hooking up with my brother then too, do you?" he asked panicked.

Brittany just nodded sadly and placed her hand on his shoulder. "We don't need them."

Dan leaned on top of the bar ungracefully and reached to get a fresh bottle of who knows what and poured it into Brittany's pint glass.

"Brittany!" a woman's voice came from the door to the bar and the drunken couple turned to face the person.

"Kristen, you suck. Women suck." Brittany slurred and pointed at the woman who she was now seeing three of.

"Yeah you suck." Dan mumbled. "Whoever you are." He waved his hand lazily in the brunette's direction.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." The brunette came over to Brittany and wrapped her arm around her waist. "Come on, let's get you back." She placed a couple of bills on the bar to pay for Brittany's drinks and hoped it was enough judging by the amount of empty glasses and bottles that were scattered.

Brittany tried to protest but she was too drunk to care anymore. "Bye, Danny boy." The blonde reached out and ruffled his hair. "You should have a shave, you're a good catch. He's a good catch isn't he, Kristen. Such a nice man." She mumbled as Kristen nodded awkwardly and helped her out of the bar. "You ruin all my fun. Just like Santana. She wouldn't let me get too drunk but I think that was maybe her just trying to keep me safe. Are you trying to keep me safe of are you trying to get me alone so you can get into my pants?" she asked seriously before bursting out into laughter at the startled expression on Kristen's face.

"I don't want to get into your pants." She tried to cover up the blush creeping up her neck and onto her cheeks.

"Sure you do. I've seen the way you look at me." Brittany chuckled to herself and tipped her head back to look up at the stars in the sky. All she could think was that they weren't as pretty as they were back in Lima. "Quinn thinks you're trying to take Santana's place. These stars aren't as twinkly here as they are in Lima. We went to Lima to look at the stars before Santana left me. I gave her a piggy back up the hill and I love her so much but I'm so angry with her for leaving me. Why would she do that to me?" Brittany looked back down to Kristen with tear filled eyes. "Do you think she didn't love me enough to stay with me?" she asked seriously.

Kristen shook her head rapidly; she was still trying to recover from what Brittany had been saying to her but managed to find some words. "I think she loved you, I think she loved you a lot and that was the reason she left." She explained but Brittany just looked at her confused. "I think she didn't want to hurt you by dying so she risked hurting herself to keep you safe and happy." she shrugged as they made their way into the lobby and towards the elevator.

"But she did hurt me." Brittany whispered.

"Not as much as she would have if she were to die." Kristen retorted softly. "You would have been hurting even more than you would be now, if I'm being honest I think that she made the right decision. It must have taken a lot for her to leave you. I know if I was her I wouldn't have been able to do that. I wouldn't have been able to leave you; I would've been selfish and kept you to the day I died."

The blonde turned to face the taller girl and let her gaze bore deep into the brunette's eyes. They were nice eyes but nowhere near as nice as Santana's perfect chocolate orbs. "You wouldn't have left me?" Brittany asked softly as she took a step forward closer to Kristen.

"Of course I wouldn't, you're amazing, Brittany." She reached out and placed her hand on the blonde's cheek and traced her thumb over her cheek bone. She let her eyes flicker down to light pink lips and then back up to blue orbs. "You're amazing." She repeated again, this time much softer.

Brittany took another step forward. So what if she was seeing three of the girl in front of her and would surely regret her decision in the morning but she found that if she squinted really hard all she could see was brown hair. Okay, so it wasn't as dark as Santana's and her skin was much lighter but she could use her imagination for that couldn't she?

Kristen ducked her head slightly when she realised what Brittany was doing and took her own step forward so that their fronts were pressed together. The next thing Brittany knew their lips were crashed together in a hungry kiss. It had been so long for Brittany, so long since she had kissed anyone, so long since she had kissed Santana and a tingle formed deep in her stomach.

But the strange thing was, it wasn't the tingle that Santana would give her. It was more from panic or sadness. Panic because she had only ever slept with one other woman before and look how that turned out… and sadness because this wasn't Santana. Her lips weren't as plump or as soft as the Latina's, her hair wasn't as smooth or shiny and when she touched the blonde's body, Brittany just wanted to cringe back into a hole and throw up.

She didn't feel the sudden warmth that would pool deep in her stomach and her eyes weren't rolling back into her head. She could feel the electricity between them and her heart wasn't racing. This wasn't right, nothing about kissing this woman was right. But the closeness was nice. It felt good to feel wanted again so she let herself deepen the kiss.

She let the brunette guide her back to their room.

She let her pull off her clothes and watched as they fell into heaps on the floor.

She let Kristen push her down onto the bed and straddle her hips.

That was all she remembered before she made her mind go blank to block out the screams she was making inside of her head, the screams that were telling her that this was all wrong, telling her to push the other woman away, telling her that she wasn't Santana.

The next morning Brittany woke up with arms wrapped securely around her waist and a face nuzzled into the crook of her neck. She frowned when she looked down to their entwined hands and the similarity in their skin colour. It shouldn't have looked like that; it should've been a Latina's hand on hers.

"Good morning." A sleepy voice came from behind her and Brittany did her best to plaster a smile on her face. Her whole body felt like she'd been dipped into a pool full of acid just like that day Kristen had wrapped her arm around her shoulders, only this time it was ten times intense and it was everywhere.

"Morning." She muttered.

"Last night was amazing." Kristen planted a kiss onto Brittany's temple as she climbed out of bed. Truth was, Brittany had been so drunk last night that she couldn't remember a thing. The only reason she knew she had actually slept with the other woman was because she was now lying naked in her bed with the woman's arms wrapped around her. "I'm going for a shower; would you like to join me?" Kristen said flirtatiously. Brittany internally cringed but did her best to keep her emotions from showing.

"No, I think I'm going to go and get some fresh air and some coffee, I need to get rid of this hangover." She climbed out of bed and pulled on some clothes. She could feel the other woman's eyes on her back. "I'll be back in an hour." She picked up her phone and purse and walked over to the door only to be stopped when a soft hand wrapped around her bicep.

"Do I not get a kiss?" she whispered. Brittany jumped at how close the other woman was to her. She slowly and reluctantly turned around to face Kristen with a fake smile. Kristen leaned in slowly to plant a soft kiss on Brittany's lips but the blonde quickly turned her head so that the brunette caught the corner of her lips.

Kristen pulled away with a confused expression on her face but chose not to say anything. "I'll see you in an hour." Brittany repeated before leaving Kristen and the events of the previous night behind her.

She needed to make a call.

Brittany sat on a nearby park bench with a Starbucks coffee sitting between her legs and her phone in her hands. She was staring down at the black screen contemplating calling Quinn or not, she really needed to talk to her about this. But she didn't want to be screamed at. She didn't want to hear how stupid and irresponsible she was or that she wasn't supposed to be drinking.

She shook her head and bit down on her bottom lips as she unlocked her phone. It was just turning eight AM; Quinn should be up by now, thanks to Rachel and her morning routine they both woke up at seven.

That's when another idea crossed her mind, if she didn't want to be screamed at or judged and wanted an honest opinion and some advice, and then who better to call than Rachel? For some unknown reason, the diva had seemed to understand Brittany a lot more than Quinn had lately. As much as the blonde was there for Brittany, Rachel didn't push her or scream like Quinn did with her drinking or how upset she would get. She had listened to Brittany for more than five hours one night. She just seemed to understand.

So instead of calling Quinn, Brittany clicked Rachel's name and let it ring out for a moment until the diva's voice sounded happily through the receiver. "Brittany! Hi, how's LA? Are you-"

She was cut off at the sound of a sob, Brittany didn't know where it came from but there was a bubble of emotion they burst in her throat. Tears began to fall from her eyes and stain her makeup from the night before. "Rach- I… I… need to talk to you."

"Brittany, what's wrong? What's happened? Are you okay? Has something happened? Did Kristen do something?" At the sound of Rachel's last rambled question and even louder heart wrenching sob broke through her lips.

"I've done something really stupid, Rachel."

"Brittany? Tell me what's happened…"

"Please don't get mad at me." She sobbed. "Quinn would be mad at me."

"I'm not Quinn, Brittany. Now just calm down and tell me what's happened." Brittany took in a calming breath and leaned back against the bench as she began to ramble, starting from what happened at her performance, how she thought maybe Santana was watching her then how she had gotten drunk and ended sleeping with Kristen. Rachel gasped and stuttered on the other end of the phone.

"I just don't know what to do…"

"Oh, Brittany." Rachel sighed sympathetically. "Everything will be okay, don't worry."

"No it won't. it's not going to be okay because I still have to share a room with her for two more nights and I'm pretty sure she thinks that I want to be with her." Brittany's voice had turned panicked and now was sounding slightly desperate. Rachel was silent for a moment before she finally answered.

"So I guess that means you don't want to be with her then?"

"No! No I don't want to be with her, the whole time I was with her I was thinking about Santana, comparing her to Santana. I wanted Kristen to be Santana." Brittany's voice was shaking as she covered her face with her hands. Her coffee that was sitting in between her legs was scorching her thighs but she ignored the stinging. "I'm a horrible person."

"No, you're not a horrible person. You were drunk you didn't know what you were doing, I'm surprised you can even remember sleeping with her." Rachel muttered.

"I can't."

"Huh?"

"I can't remember sleeping with her." Brittany explained slightly embarrassed.

"Then how do-"

"I woke up naked in her bed." the blonde deadpanned.

"Oh, well that just makes what she did even worse."

"What?"

"She took advantage of you, you were clearly too intoxicated to even think straight and she took advantage of that fact to sleep with you. Brittany, you're not that bad person here, she is."

"Then why do I feel like I've cheated and that I deserve to be locked up or something?" tears were beginning to form in her eyes again and her voice sounded shaky.

"Because you're still in love with Santana." Rachel said simply.

"What am I going to do? I can't stay there with her…"

"Is there anyone else you can stay with while you're in LA?" Rachel asked softly. Brittany held her fingers the bridge of her nose while she thought about this for a moment. Then she remembered something from last night.

"Yes. Thank for helping, I'll see you when I get home."

"Bye, Brittany." Then she hung up. She reached down and took a sip of her cooling coffee and stood up to head back to her hotel room. Her heart was pounding as she thought about what she was about to do when she got there. She didn't know whether it would be best to come straight out with what she was about to say or ease into it gradually. After all, Kristen was still her friend and she still had to work with her every day, it would be best if things stayed good between them.

She breathed in steady breaths as she pressed the button in the elevator for her floor and leaned against the wall. She didn't want to mess things up and she didn't want to upset the brunette but this was for the best. She couldn't have a relationship with someone if she couldn't give them her whole heart. It just wasn't fair.

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened with a ding but what Brittany was faced with turned her mouth dry as a desert and she was positive that her stomach had just plummeted. "Hey, B. I was just coming to find you." Kristen stood with a beaming smile in the doorway of the elevator and Brittany had to will her legs to move forward. She took a step out and did her best to avoid eye contact with the brunette.

"We need to talk." Brittany stated simply as she walked towards the door to their room.

"Is that like a euphemism or something?" Kristen asked flirtatiously but Brittany just shook her head furiously as she cringed and tried to ignore the sickly feeling deep in her stomach.

"No, we just need to talk." The blonde said shortly.

"Oh." Brittany could hear the disappointment in Kristen's voice. The blonde closed the door behind them and walked over to her unpacked suitcase and began to put away the clothes she had managed to unpack. Kristen looked on confused. "Brittany, what are you doing?" She placed her hand on the small of the shorter girls back but Brittany moved out of reach.

"Last night was a mistake." Oh real smooth, Brittany. Let her down gently you said. Don't hurt her feelings you said. Bullshit. "I was so far past the point of drunk that I can't even remember what happened last night. But I know that whatever we did was wrong." She said as she lifted her duffel onto her back and trailed her suitcase over to the door. "Oh." She said as she patted her pocket only to realise that she didn't have her plane ticket. She walked back over to her bedside draw and pulled it out all the while Kristen kept her mouth shut and her eyes glued to Brittany. "I'll see you at the airport." She reached out to open the door but was stopped by quite words from behind her.

"You said her name you know?" Brittany turned to look at the brunette slightly confused. "Last night, you said her name instead of mine." She looked down sadly at her phone on her hands and she turned it over and over. "You screamed it actually…" she muttered slightly more quite than what she was originally speaking.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Brittany walked back over to the bed and sat down next to her. "I was so drunk I didn't know-" Kristen held up a hand to silence Brittany.

"It's okay, I understand. You'll always love her and I know I don't compare to her. I'm sorry about last night; I shouldn't have kissed you back because I knew how drunk you were."

"Don't worry about it." Brittany stated. "I still want you to be my friend though; you've been there for me a lot these past couple of months." Kristen nodded with a sad smile before Brittany stood up to leave. "I'll see you soon."

Brittany walked out of the hotel and across the busy street towards the bar she had been drinking at the night before. It was a lot quieter than she had expected but surely enough the person she was looking for was stood behind the bar wiping it down with that disgustingly dirty cloth of his. "Brittany!" his voice sounded causing her eyes to flicker up to meet his happy, smiling face.

"Hey, Dan." She smiled politely back before climbing up onto a chair and dropping her bags to her side.

"What can I get you?"

"Actually I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed here with you for a couple of nights?" she asked awkwardly. "Something happened between me and my friend and things kind of got awkward…" she trailed off.

"Of course you can." Dan said happily. "It kind of gets lonely around here at night and I could sure use a friend." Brittany beamed at the word friend and quickly leaned over the bar to pull him into a tight hug.

"Thank you so much."

She spent the last two days of her trip helping Dan out in the bar. Some of the kids out of her group had come in and they'd all had fun taking shots but that still didn't dull the pain Brittany was feeling in her heart. She just wanted this weekend to hurry up so she could get on that plane and fly home to be with her friends.

Santana:

She knew as she walked away from the building that she had possibly just made the second biggest mistake of her life, the first being the fucked up decision of leaving Brittany the first time. She just didn't learn did she? Dylan opened her car door for her to get in without saying a word. They had stayed silent the whole way back to the car and hadn't even glimpsed at each other. Oh how she missed her own car. She ran her finger over the dashboard of the mini cooper that Dylan insisted on driving around. Santana wondered if Quinn or Brittany had been using it or if had just been left to collect dust behind the apartment building.

The Latina stared sadly out of the window as they drove onto the highway and began to tap her finger along with the beat of the music coming from the radio. She felt like there was a sudden empty black hole swelling within her chest and nothing she thought of could take her mind off of a certain blonde.

"Are you-"

"No."

"Santana…"

"Just… just don't talk to me." she snapped and buried her face in her hands. "I don't want to talk about this now."

"Okay." he smiled softly and reached over to place his hand softly on top of her hand. "Everything's going to be okay you know. It's not like I'm going anywhere and I'm always going to be here to help you."

"I know." She muttered but kept her eyes glued to the toad. There was too much to think about. Too much Brittany whirling around up inside her mind.

Her blue eyes.

Her blonde hair.

Her pink lips.

Her perfect body.

Everything about Brittany that she had fallen in love with – that she was sure she was still falling in love with – was disappearing behind her as she left the blonde once again. The familiar pain of her heart breaking was forming in her chest as a sob broke through her lips and her head lolled forward as her tears dripped down onto her hands that were balled up in her lap.

Instead of reaching over to comfort the Latina, Dylan kept his eyes focussed on the road in front as the sun began to set. He knew that right now she needed her space to come to terms with what had just happened, with what she had just seen. The blonde wanted nothing more than to reach over and console his best friend but he couldn't… He clutched furiously as the steering wheel to stop himself from reaching out as Santana sobs became louder and louder and she'd eventually curled up in her seat and was slowly falling asleep with tears still dripping from her eyes.

A little over an hour later, Dylan was pulling up in front of their building and jogging round to Santana's side of the car to carefully lift her out while she still slept soundly in his arms. He carried her up to the top floor to their home and up to her bed before going into the kitchen to make her some decaf coffee and get her meds.

Santana began to stir at the sound of a kettle boiling and let her eyes slowly flicker open. She sighed and buried her face deep into her pillow as sadness formed in the pit of her stomach. She didn't want to be here anymore. She was sick of waking up alone all the time, she wanted to be able to reach out and find a warm body next to her, her warm body. She wanted to reach out and tangle a lock of shiny blonde hair around her finger and breath in the blonde's sweet sent. She wanted to be able to lean down and kiss her lips and stare into those blue orbs she had gotten lost in so many times before. She just wanted to be with Brittany. Was that too much to ask for?

"You're awake?" Dylan's voice sounded from the top of the stairs where he was standing with a mug of steaming hot coffee and plate of what looked like a ham sandwich.

"I'm awake." She muttered as she sat up and held out her hands to take the items from his hands. He sat down on the end of her bed and watched as she ate. "You know that's kind of creepy…" she mumbled with a mouthful of food.

Dylan shook his head with a smirk. "I'm sorry, I was just thinking."

"Care to share?" she quirked an eyebrow and set her now empty plate down on the nightstand before taking a small sip of her coffee. Dylan sat in silence for a moment as he contemplated whether or not to open up to the Latina, even though she had pretty much told him everything she had been holding in about herself even things she had only told Brittany. So why wouldn't he tell her? He had every reason to trust the Latina. So that's just what he did. He took in a deep breath and begun.

"Did I ever tell you that before me and my dad moved here we used to live in Seattle." Santana shook her head and leaned forward slightly, she hoped that this would be the moment that the man that had become her best friend over the past six months would finally open up and share some of his past with her. "Yeah, it was just the three of us, me, my dad and at the time my mom." Santana's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, never in all the time she had known the man had he ever mentioned his mother.

"I was pretty sure they were happy together. They definitely seemed it." He shrugged and turned to face away from Santana. He began to play with the corner of the bed sheet where a single thread had come loose. "She was a nurse at one of the hospitals there, I can never remember which one though and I've never asked my dad because he used to get really angry when I tried to talk about her…" he trailed off like he was remembering something from his past. Santana placed her cooling cup of coffee down and reached over and laced their fingers together. He looked like he needed some support of some sort. He shook his head as the contact pulled him from his haze. "Um, yeah… and my dad was working as a photographer's assistant. One day – I think I was about fifteen or sixteen – I remember my mom coming home crying, like really crying and my dad sent me to my room while they sat and talked. I remember being scared because they'd never done that before, sent me out of the room..."

He looked up to meet the Latina's orbs and immediately felt himself calming down but that didn't stop the redness from forming in his eyes and a layer of tears to build up. Santana reached over and wiped away the ones that had escaped. She smiled softly for him to carry on.

"After a couple of months passed, things started to get weird, I didn't see my dad as much and my mom always seemed to be staying off work or taking half shifts. Then one day they got into a huge fight and my mom ended up storming out of the house." Dylan rubbed his face with his spare hand to wipe away the tears before running it through his hair causing a few strands to stick up in odd directions. He breathed in slowly but his breath was shaky and the hand that Santana was holding was squeezing hers tightly and was now turning her fingers purple but she didn't pull away. She wanted him to carry on and find out where this story was going and why he was thinking about it now.

"I'd spent the whole night sitting on my windowsill waiting for her to come home, I think it must have been around two AM when I'd finally fallen asleep and she still wasn't home. I went to school the next day like I always did but the lessons were dragging more than usual and in the end – because I couldn't take it anymore - I ran home before the end of the day. I hoped I would find my mom in her usual spot on the sofa with her blanket and a plate of a half-eaten sandwich but instead of my mom I found my dad," he paused and clenched his eyes tightly shut. "And the woman he worked for."

Santana's whole body tensed up at Dylan's words and her own grip tightened on the man's hand. "Dylan…" she cooed softly but he shook his head and held up a finger. She leaned her head against his shoulder and waited for him to speak again.

"He'd been cheating on my mom for about a month and when he saw me standing there he begged me not to tell her, he started to cry and I could tell that he was trying to guilt trip me but then when he told me my mom had found out she had a brain tumour and that it would only make her sicker if I told her, what could I do?" His voice shook towards the end and his head dropped forward in defeat. Santana could feel anger burning in her chest towards the man she was now working for. "That day she had come home crying was they day she had got her results back from some MRI scans. Apparently the tumour was too far developed for her to go through any treatment." He explained softly, Santana had to strain to make out what he was saying but she still didn't know where this was going. However, she was happy that the man was finally opening up to her properly. She had found that he was just as closed off as she was. "The day I found out that my mom was dying was the day I found my dad was cheating on her." he spat harshly. "I was sixteen." Dylan shook his head exasperatedly but carried on talking.

"About a week later my mom finally came home. When I looked at her, I could definitely see the difference. Her eyes were dark, her face was pail and her skin was warn, her hair was dull and didn't look as curly as it used to. I knew then that my dad wasn't lying just to get me on his side and keep his secret. She looked so skinny." He looked deeply into Santana's eyes as she placed their foreheads together. "I remember sitting with her until four in the morning curled op on the sofa watching Sex in the city. I'd told her that night that I knew and we both cried." Santana could feel her heart breaking in her chest and it was almost as painful as the thought of her and Brittany. She just wanted to wrap him up in bubble wrap and cotton wool and never let anyone hurt him ever again. "I'd never seen her look so broken."

"I don't know how she found out about my dad but she did." His eyes were full of pain and more tears were falling now. His whole body was quaking as sobs racked his body and Santana did her best to console him. "I came back from school one Wednesday in the middle of June and my dad was just standing there in the kitchen with all of these bags packed and I didn't understand what was going on at first but then my mom was crying and telling me that everything would be alright and that she loved me. I was so confused but then my dad handed me my duffel and then I realised that he was taking me with him." Santana's jaw dropped open in surprise.

"What… I mean… what?" Santana shook her head in confusion.

"My mom had filed for a divorce as soon as she had found out about him cheating on her. He said his company was looking to open up a new studio in California so he jumped at the chance of moving here. But then my mom told him that she wanted to take me with her to stay with her sister, obviously he wasn't having any of it. He told her that she would never get custody over me because of her tumour so I had no choice but to go with him." Santana was sitting in Dylan's lap now with her arms wrapped tightly around him as she rocked them both back and forth soothingly.

"Shush, don't cry. Come on, I'm here." She whispered to him softly.

He took in another breath and tried to calm himself but it was no use he was fully crying now, his sobs filled the room and he was shaking too much to form words. Santana didn't know what else to do but hold him close to her and hoped that he hadn't broken himself too much telling her this. She let her mind piece everything together, how defensive he had been the night they were walking to the café to meet Marco and how he had always stood by her when she had told him about her own problems. He had never ran or freaked out when her ICD had gone off and would listen to her rant.

"I… I… just hate him… I hate him for what he did to us." Santana lifted her hand and covered his mouth to stop him from talking.

"It's okay; you don't need to say anything else. I understand." He nodded slowly and let his eye drift closed.

Later that night the two of them were curled up on the sofa watching reruns of Sex in the city – Dylan's choice – and eating two tubs of ice cream between them both. They were both feeling slightly fragile and neither of them was talking, and the only sounds that filled the room were the sounds from the TV and the quiet chuckles that would escape.

After an hour or so Santana decided to try and lighten up the mood, she wasn't used to seeing the man next to her all mopey and sad. "So, I thought you were going to teach me how to play the guitar?" she asked cheery.

Dylan sighed and sunk back into the sofa. "I really don't feel like doing that right now." He mumbled.

The Latina rolled her eyes playfully before she stood up and walked over to where the wooden instrument was propped up against the wall. She picked it up carefully and began to strum at the strings very much out of tune then started to walk around the apartment bobbing her head and sway her hips rather awkwardly.

Dylan burst out into laughter and Santana couldn't help her own lips from curling up into a smile at the sound. "You can't seriously let me die knowing this is how good I am at playing the guitar." She mused. Dylan stood up and walked over to where Santana had perched herself on the fourth step of the stairs that led up to her bedroom.

He reached out and pulled the guitar from her hands and placed his hand on the fingerboard in a weird position and began to pluck at the strings. "This is a G." he played the same chord over and over until he handed it over to Santana to when he thought that she would be able to play it. "Good!" he showed her a few more until he was positive she was good enough to play some simple songs.

Her tongue was jutted out to the left in concentration and her brow was furrowed as she stared down at her fingers that were plucking away at the strings. "How do your fingers not drop off?" Santana mumbled, still concentrating on remembering the chords.

"You'll get used to it after a while if you keep practicing. Maybe if you get really good I'll get you one for Christmas." He teased and nudged her shoulder with his own. "But if you don't mind, I think I'm going to hit the hay. It's been a long day." He muttered and rubbed his neck as he walked over to his bed. "See you in the morning, San." The Latina just nodded as she carried the guitar up to her room to practice some more. Dylan was right, it had been a very long day but she wasn't quite ready to go to bed yet. She knew that she would just end up tossing and turning with images of the blonde swamping her mind.

"Ant!" Santana screamed as she ran away from the giggling child as he chased her around Marco's house with a toy water pistol he had won out of a Christmas cracker. Her back was drenched with water but the boy refused to stop. Santana threw herself over the back of the sofa and landed with a heavy thump on the floor but managed to shield herself from the boy's line of fire.

"S'tana? I won't shoot you, promise." He whispered innocently. Santana smirked to herself, knowing fine well that as soon as she stood up she was sure to get a face full of water. But being the best cousin in the world that she was, she slowly and carefully stood up from where she was hiding and raised her hands in surrender.

"Please don't shoot." She did her best to act scared. A devilish smirk formed on Anton's lips and he slowly lifted the pistol to point at Santana. The Latina's eye's widened in fake terror and her lips formed a perfect 'o'. "No!" she squeaked. But it was too late, a tiny squirt of water splashed directly into her eyes. "Ugh. You got me." she held her chest and landed forward onto the sofa.

Anton giggled and climbed up onto the woman's back and slapped his hands down onto her drenched shirt causing the water to trail off and soak into the sofa. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and his legs around her waist and let her slowly carry him into the kitchen where Marco and Orlando were now sitting picking at the remainders of their Christmas dinner.

"At least you won't need a bath tonight." Orlando chuckled from where he was sat and Santana just rolled her eyes. "Come here big man." He clapped his hands together and gestured for Anton to climb up onto his lap but the little boy just shook his head with a pout.

"S'tana said she would take me down to the bitch to go shark hunting!" he said excitedly. Santana blushed slightly and felt embarrassed for not asking Orlando for permission first hand.

"Oh did she now?" he cocked his head to the side and looked curiously at his niece.

"Would that be okay? I promise I won't let him run off and I'll make sure he doesn't-" she was cut off when Orlando held up a hand to silence her with a smile.

"Don't worry about it, go have some fun. I wanted to talk to your father in private anyway." he waved his hand towards the door and Anton squealed loudly as Santana began to race through the sand and down to the water's edge. The sun was just getting ready to set so the temperature was cooling dramatically but the little Latino boy didn't seem to be fazed as he carried on squealing and kicking the sand around him. Santana perched herself down just in the surf and let the water rush up to her knees, her head tipped back and she stared up at the purpling sky that was dotted with the odd cloud. She was thankful there was no snow this Christmas and that it had only rained once or twice – always a good side to global warming – but the main reason she was glad was because the last time she had spent Christmas in the snow was when she had gone to central park with Brittany, Quinn and Rachel. That was a good day. She thought to herself. Apart from the whole throwing up in the doctor's office.

"S'tana?" Santana looked up when she heard the soft voice of her baby cousin.

"Yeah little man?" she squinted in the light of the sun as she looked up to meet a head of dark brown hair almost the same colour as her own and crystal blue eyes.

"I got you this." He pulled his hand out from behind his back and handed Santana a small turquoise starfish that seemed to have dried out.

"Awe thank you, Ant." Santana beamed up at the little boy and pulled him into a bone crushing hug causing the little boy to giggle.

"It's a Christmas present. Now you have to find me something." He said while he grabbed Santana's hands and tried desperately to pull her to her feet.

"Charming." Santana muttered before following the little boy along the beach hand in hand. Thirty minutes later and Anton had two pockets and his hands full of different shells and stones and a huge piece of drift wood trailing behind him. The sun was just about completely set by this point and the air was just about freezing. Santana looked down at the little boy holding her hand and watched as his eyes began to droop and a yawn contorted his face. "Here." She muttered and lifted the boy up by his waist and over her head to sit on her shoulders.

"Thanks S'ta…" was all he managed to get out before he began to snore softly against Santana's head. She clutched the piece of wood in one hand and held the small starfish in the other as she walked them back to Marco's house.

"What you got there?" Dylan asked as she plopped herself down lazily onto her sofa.

"Anton found me a starfish." She muttered as she let her eyes droop closed but she managed to hold up the object to show her best friend.

"Awe, that's sweet." Dylan cooed. "Hey, wake up." He patted her foot gently to keep her away and get her attention. "I still have to give you your present. I didn't get a chance to give you it this morning before you were rushing off to your dads place." He paused as he stood up and walked over to his bed. "Thanks for the beanie by the way." he bowed his head to show off more of his bright red and green woolly hat that he was wearing on his head.

"No problem." Santana chuckled but eyed him curiously as he bent over the other side of the bed to pick up a meter long box that had been wrapped in fairy wrapping paper. "I'm not five." She mused but thanked him nevertheless.

"I just saw it and it immediately reminded me of you – the paper not the present." He winked and sat down next to her. "I hope you like it." he suddenly turned shy as he handed her the box.

She whipped the paper off of the box and threw it to the ground like an excited six year old – or like Anton – and opened the box. Her jaw nearly dropped to the flaw when she saw what Dylan had bought her. "You didn't have to…" she trailed off.

"No I didn't, but I wanted to." He smiled and watched as Santana carefully lifted out the guitar – a burgundy coloured Takamine to be exact that had a rainbow patterned piece of fabric tied around the neck.

"Thank you so much!" Santana threw herself at Dylan and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "You're an amazing best friend, you know that?" she beamed at him and began to strum at the unturned strings.

"I know." He smirked. "But you have to keep practicing." He warned with a slight smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Yes sir." Santana saluted mockingly before she stood up and did her best to stifle a yawn. "But not tonight, I need to get my beauty sleep." She headed toward the stairs with the guitar in her hand. "Not that I need it or anything." She smirked with a shrug. "Good night, Dylan."

"San, wait." He called after her but she kept on walking. By the time he had thrown all the ripped paper into the trash and made a neat pile of all the things that were in the box with Santana's guitar, the Latina was just climbing into bed. "I need to talk to you." He said as he sat down on the end of the woman's bed.

"Shoot, Blondie." She muttered as she punched at her pillow to get comfy.

"Um well… oh god." He muttered as he buried his face into his hands. Santana leaned over and placed a hand on his shoulder as she began to worry about her best friend.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Dylan sighed as he gathered up the courage to start speaking. "Well the other night when I was telling you about my mom…" His voice shook on the last word. Santana had come to terms with the fact that Dylan just didn't talk about this kind of stuff even when Santana had tried to bring it up once or twice over the past five days. But now she couldn't look at his father the same way again. Every time she had gone to work this week she had either given the older man the cold shoulder or would give him the evil eyes across the room. So yeah, maybe she was being immature but why would someone do that to their son and wife? She would never have done anything like that to Brittany… Stop getting off track.

"There was a reason I decided to tell you when I did." He carried on but he did his best to avoid the Latina's curious gaze. "My dad never let me go and visit her or let me call her, I was only sixteen so I didn't know my aunts phone number. But then just before my eightieth birthday I found out that she had passed away." He said sadly and kept his eyes glued to his hands. "I was so distraught that I didn't talk to my dad for about a year when I moved in with my best friend."

"Dylan… I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say…" Santana shook her head; more anger towards the man's father began to boil in her gut.

Dylan smirked sadly. "Never thought I would see the day the infamous bitch, Santana Lopez speechless." She nudged his arm playfully but squeezed the hand she was holding and urged him to carry on. "What I'm trying to say is that I didn't get the chance to see my mom again. I didn't get a chance to tell her how much I love her and that I wasn't mad at her for letting me go with my dad and I hate myself for not trying harder." He paused and finally, finally he made eye contact with Santana, his face completely serious and almost pleading. "But you, Santana. You have that chance, you can make things right with Brittany, and you can get your life back on track with the woman you love."

Santana was frozen. Her mouth was slightly agape and she was looking anywhere in the room but her best friend's piercing emerald gaze. Her mind was beginning to spin with the words she had just heard. She knew that maybe… maybe that what he was saying was right but Brittany hated her, Quinn hated her and Rachel… well Rachel was weird… But the thing was, she really didn't have anything left back in New York she had actually grown to love living here actually as she thought about it, it was a lot better than New York. But New York had Brittany. California didn't have Brittany.

"I…" Santana shook her head unable to form any words. She buried her face deep into one of her pillows and groaned loudly.

"You know I'm right, Santana." Dylan whispered softly into her ear. "I hate myself so much for not being there with my mom while she was going through her treatment. I hate that I didn't get to see her one more time before she died."

"Yeah but Brittany isn't dying." Santana jumped in quickly.

"I know that, but who's to say that maybe tomorrow she won't slip and fall in the shower and hit her head or that she'll cross the road to get to work and a taxi won't stop and hits her… You never know with this kind of stuff, Santana." He looked at her softly; her heart began to pound furiously in her chest at the thought of Brittany ever dying. "Do you really want to risk it?" Santana knew it was a rhetorical question so she didn't answer. She knew that everything Dylan was telling her was true and shivers began to tingle down her spine. She slowly stood up and walked over to where she had sat her brand new guitar against the wall.

"Teach me how to tune this." She handed it over to him and sat herself back down. She was trying desperately hard not to let a gaping smile to form on her face so instead of looking directly at him, she looked at the instrument in his hands.

"What…?" he asked completely dumfounded by the Latina's choice to change the subject.

"Teach me." she nodded her head back down to the guitar before taking it from his hands and began to pluck at the strings, she tried to remember some of the song she remembered trying to learn the day before.

"Why?" he asked curiously. But this time it was more of a question of 'why now?' Santana finally let the huge smile she had been holding back break across her face and her eye lit up brighter than the man had ever seen as the Latina's thoughts began to race in her mind.

"Because," she started but paused to watch as Dylan began to grow impatient and squirm in his seat. She could feel shivers running down her spine at the thought of what she was about to say. Was she really ready for this? If she was being truthful with herself then the answer was probably no but she needed to do what was right. "Because, Dylan… you're going to help me get my girl back."

So the next chapter i hope you'll enjoy! I'm nearly finished writing it as we speak and i'd just like to say that i'm really excited :) see you all soon x