Hey! So like I updated...I dunno, I think it's okay haha. I am not really sure how to go about this anymore, but hopefully I'll figure something out! ^-^ What do you guys think? Or what do you want to happen? Tell me if you want to in the reviews or my ask box on tumblr. I would love to hear from some of the people who read it! Thank you!
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This pregnancy is really taking a toll on my everyday life. I am slowly gaining weight, and It doesn't help that I haven't seen a doctor about my conditions yet. I need to find a way out of this mess, my mess. I was the one who approached him. I was the one who came back to him, who let him take me. What will my superiors think, if they found out that I had secret relations with someone who wasn't my husband? They will think terrible things, I am sure of it. What I did, I knew was wrong, but I couldn't stop myself. It's been years since I felt loved, felt good about myself. Where someone would actually help me for once, instead of it the other way around. I loved Akihiko with my whole being. Why does everything have to be so difficult? The only thing that came to mind was to go back to Iwatodai and have a long, thorough conversation with Akihiko, and I needed to do it as soon as possible. I cleared some days off my schedule, and approached my husband about my unexpected trip.
"Um, Hello?"
"Yes, I understand, this contract will be held in very special hands. If anything goes wrong, the Kirijo Group will have to take care of it."
I spoke up again, a little louder this time.
"Excuse me? Ryouhide?"
"Hmm, What? Can't you see I am having an important conversation?"
"Yes, of course, but I have something very important to talk to you about, and I feel like it's urgent."
He groaned, and told the person on the other side to hold for 5 minutes.
"What have you bothered me for?"
"Well, I am here to tell you that I will be taking a trip back to Iwatodai."
"When were you planning to go?"
"I have a car set for me in about an hour or so."
"And what about your duties, do you plan on just leaving them all to me?"
"No, of course not, I have, um, cancelled my plans, and plan on picking them back up when I return."
"I would hope so, Mitsuru," he said solemnly, and picked up the phone and continued his conversation, which gave me my cue that I should excuse myself. I grabbed my things, and left through the door the same way I came in. I made my way down to the lobby of the offices, and a secretary approached me.
"Mrs. Kirijo? The car is waiting for you outside. All of your bags are packed and ready to go. Is there anything else, Madame?"
Was there anything else I needed? I thought long and hard about it, until I finally realized what I missed. Did I expect to just walk into Akihiko's house, unexpected?
"Um, yes. I will need you to consult a phone book of the city of Iwatodai, and look for the name of Sanada Akihiko."
"Very well, Mrs. Kirijo. Please sit, and give me some time to look through for the number."
I took a seat, and the secretary scurried along to the back and brought out a phonebook. She flipped a few pages, scanned, flipped a few more, and then wrote something down on a piece of paper. She picked up the book and returned it to its place, and walked towards me with a paper in hand.
"Here you are, Mrs. Kirijo. The phone number, address, and workplace of Akihiko Sanada, in Iwatodai."
"Thank you very much. I appreciate it."
"No problem, Mrs. Kirijo. Please have a safe trip."
I left through the front door, and the doorman opened the door for me to the car. I thanked him, sat in and told the driver to begin driving. Iwatodai isn't long ways away, but it would be a quiet and long drive to spend time thinking. I had already made all my arrangements with hotels and places. The only thing left was to call Akihiko and tell him about my arrival. I brought up the number from my pocket, and dialed each number slowly, readying myself. Finally, I called him. Each ring left me with more and more anxiety and anticipation. It rang for a long time, before I finally got his answering machine. His voice was sweet and calm, but also monotone and empty. "Hey, this is Sanada, I um, am really sorry for missing your call, I am probably busy working or something," he laughs, "Well, anyways, leave your name and number and I'll call you back, thanks."
His voice left jolts going through my body. I am appalled by how much control he has over me, how anything he does or says gets to every fiber of my being. I feel lightheaded, just by listening to his voicemail. What am I going to do when I see him again? How will I speak? What am I going to do when we are sitting alone together, and I have to tell him everything? I leave a quick voicemail for him, just saying that I will be coming back for some time and that I needed to talk to him as soon as possible. I told him that I would be arriving in short time, and if it was possible if we could meet up tonight, if he wasn't busy of course. I hung up the call and shut my phone, and turned my head to the window. I watched the trees and the birds, the people, holding hands, hugging, kissing. Why can't it be that easy for me? Because, I am CEO of the Kirijo Corp, the biggest company in Japan. Because I need to marry someone who was good for the company, who was 'rich', in a sense. Someone who had power. And Ryouhide was the perfect candidate. I begged and pleaded my father to reconsider. I knew from the beginning that he found my and Akihiko's relationship a waste of time, and I couldn't help but feel that nothing would change, no matter how hard I tried. But I still followed Akihiko back to his house. I still let him kiss me; let him take over me, how easy he could. Do I regret it? Well, why would I? I love Akihiko, and I like to believe that he loves me. But, why wasn't I careful? Look what has happened. I can't hide this anymore. And if I just let it sit, it'll be too late to do anything.
Bzz Bzz.
I look down at my phone to see that Akihiko is returning my call. There goes that feeling again, of incredible love-struck.
"Hello?"
"Hey, um, Mitsuru? You called me a little while ago, right? Is anything wrong?"
"Oh, um, I-"
What will I say? 'We have to talk, I'm pregnant, and it's yours.' No, of course not! That wouldn't be the way to do it. I have to say something quick. My mind is rushing in a hundred different directions.
"Well, I guess I could say that we have a bit of a problem, and I wanted to address it to you as soon as possible. I am actually arriving in Iwatodai right now, so would it be fine if maybe we go out to dinner and talk?"
"Oh, um, sure, I guess. I don't have any problem with that. Where did you have in mind?"
"Oh, well I will be staying in a hotel a bit west of Port Island Station; you know the one, right? They have a few dinner places in the lobby area, so I thought maybe we could meet up there." The car comes to a stop. What a coincidence.
"Um, yeah I know of the place, just give me a couple minutes to get washed up and dressed, and I'll head right down."
"All right then, Akihiko. I can't wait to see you." My last few words came from nowhere. What do I think I'm doing, saying that? I have been so unstable the last couple months. I am most definitely not the same Mitsuru.
"Oh, me too Mitsuru. I can't wait either. I'll see you in a little while."
I hung up the phone and replaced it back into my bag. The driver got out of the car and opened my door for me while the busboys got my luggage out. A young lady with light brown eyes approached me and said that I was already checked in, and that she would be escorting me to my suite. She walked into the hotel, and stopped by the elevators. As soon as one lowered down, she gave me the honors of entering in first. When we reached my floor, we walked down a short hallway to a big pair of doors.
"Here you are, Mrs. Kirijo. If you have any problems, please contact the front desk immediately."
"Um, one thing. Are you sure you don't have my suite mistaken? I asked for a simple one bed suite?"
"Very well Mrs. Kirijo, but your husband as rented out this suite as his own personal room in the hotel. I hope it's not an inconvenience," she said as she turned a heel and walked back toward the elevator. I groaned and slipped my key into the lock, and stepped into the suite. I didn't really care for how big the bathroom was, or if it had unlimited television channels. I just want to quickly get changed, and head downstairs to meet Akihiko. I unpacked all my bags and hung them very neatly on the rack in the closet, and picked out what clothes I was going to wear. Nothing too dressy, but I didn't want to look to casual either. After I finished getting dressed, I reapplied my makeup, and watched myself in the mirror, trying to decide how I was to style my hair. Should I put it in a ponytail? Or maybe leave it down, parted to the side? In the end, I just braided my hair loosely to one side and left it as is. I wasn't going to be doing much but talking tonight, anyways. I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs to the restaurant. To my surprise, Akihiko was already there, waiting for me at the door. He paced around on his phone, looking up every couple of seconds, looking around anxiously. He was dressed up in a button down shirt with a tie, jeans and regular dress shoes. He had the first button of his shirt undone, and his sleeves were pushed up to his elbows. He was so cute, just doing those things. I felt a warm feeling in the inside of my stomach, as I walked up closer to him. Every step I took just made my heart beat faster and faster, I felt like it would just explode. Finally, he looked up and saw me. I bright smile ran across his face, and he shoved his phone in his pockets. He hugged me when I reached him. He smelt nice.
"Ahh, Mitsuru, Hey! How are you?"
"Oh, fine, I guess. How about we head in?" We entered the restaurant and waited for a waiter to seat us. Once we sat, Akihiko began asking questions.
"So, Mitsuru, how is everything? You kinda scared me a bit when you called earlier."
"Ah, I apologize for doing that. It wasn't my intention. But, I do have something, um, important, I need to discuss with you."
"Is that so? I didn't expect for you to, um, you know," He stopped speaking.
"What?"
"I dunno, I didn't expect you to like, call me, or like even talk to me anymore. I kinda thought that what happened a couple months ago was a one time thing, and stuff."
"I see. Actually, what I had in mind, was regarding that, of course."
"Jesus, Mitsuru, will you loosen up? It's just us right now, you and me. There's is nothing to worry about."
"Ha, Akihiko. If you knew the first thing." He reached across the table and briskly put his hand on top of mine.
"Akihiko, I am married."
"I know that, Mitsuru. You weren't worried about that that night."
"This is so much harder than it needs to be. You are doing so well, on your own. I don't want to-"
"Want to what?"
"I don't want to break your heart again. I don't know how you must have felt when I left that morning, but I know it must have been terrible."
"I, uh, plead the fifth," He laughed, trying to lighten the mood.
"Akihiko, that night meant a lot to me."
"I did for me, too, Mitsuru." I felt tears strolling down my face.
"Mitsuru, why are you crying?" I felt like there was a rock stuck in my throat. No matter how hard I tried to cough it up, it stayed, logged in. I coughed a couple times, trying to clear my throat. I can do this, I tried convincing myself. This is how it's going to be.
"Akihiko, I love you."
"And I you."
"That night, I hope you remember, we weren't being extraordinarily careful."
"A huh, go on." He nodded his head in understanding.
"I just really don't know how to say this in a way."
"Just, please. Say your mind. It's killing me to see you like this."
I felt like screaming. Like crying so hard. I just want to go home and crawl under the sheets and never come out. Why did I mess everything up?
"Akihiko," I said, and grabbed his hands. "A couple weeks ago, I wasn't feeling so well. I didn't know what was wrong. I ended up taking a, uh, pregnancy test. In the end, it turned out to be positive." Akihiko's eyes widened in shock. He drew his hands back, and with shaky voice managed to croak out,
"Are you serious?" I nodded my head. Akihiko proceeded to get up, throw his napkin on the table, and storm out of the restaurant.
"Akihiko! Where do you think you are going?!" I said, trying to keep up with him.
"Mitsuru, are you really serious? Or are you just fucking with me? If you are I am not finding this funny."
"Of course not, Akihiko! Why are you so angry with me! Do you have any idea how hard this is on me?!"
"No, I don't Mitsuru, because I'm not married, and I'm not the CEO of the top company in Japan," he remarked in a snarky way.
"Akihiko, please just calm down," I said, trying to fight back the tears. "Please, just, come with me, to my room, and we'll talk there. Please."
I began walking to the elevators, and he followed behind. It was quiet on the way up to my room. With a halt, and a Ding, we finally reached it. I took out my key and slipped it in, opened the door and led my way into the dining room. I prepared to take a seat at the table, but with one swift movement, Akihiko grabbed my arm, twisting my body around, his lips crashing into mine.
"Akihiko! What are you doing?!"
"Shhh." He said, and wrapped his arms against my waist.
"Akihiko! You cannot!" I tried mumbling, but he was so strong against me, I couldn't make anything even near to coherent. I can't, I can't, I can't, I kept thinking, but I couldn't bring myself to stop. I wanted this. I needed it. We stumbled into the room, and he laid himself on the bed while gently bringing me down on top of him. I kissed his lips tenderly, and made my way down his neck on to his chest. He turned me over so that he was on top of me now. I whimpered at his sudden movements. He stopped kissing me so that he could look me in the eyes.
"Mitsuru…stop looking like that. I'm not gonna hurt you, you know that right?" Of course I knew that, but he was so conflicting!
"Of course…"
"Are you scared?" He said, rolling over.
"Yes, of course I am. I don't know what to do." I had begun crying; just letting the tears flow through. I didn't want Akihiko to see me like that, so I leaned up and brought my knees up to my chest and hid my face. What a disgrace I was.
"Oh, Mitsuru," Akihiko moved over so he was positioned near my back, and folding his hands around my waist and brought his lips to my neck.
"Please stop crying, Mitsuru, please. Are you tired? Maybe you should rest, and we'll talk in the morning, okay?" I turned around and looked at his face, silent and calm. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lowered ourselves down on to the mattress. He brought my face to mine, kissing me all over.
"It's going to be okay. Just rest for now."
I did what he said, and I closed my eyes. I felt exhausted after today. I was drifting farther and farther to sleep until I realized something.
"Mmm, Akihiko?" I said sleepily.
"What's wrong?" He replied, softly and warm against my ear.
"Don't leave me. Stay with me."
"Of course I won't. I stay with you, as long as you want."
"Mnn, good…" I kissed his lips lightly.
And with that, I feel asleep, serene and tranquil. Right next to Akihiko.
Yay! Thanks for reading if you have...I really appreciate it! Again, Thanks to Liz for helping me with this! She's the greatest. Please review/comment! :) I'm sorry if I spelt anything wrong or something, I looked over it!