Vicissitude
Chapter Four: Another One Bites the Dust
Clint was not the least bit surprised to find Natasha in his apartment, sprawled on his couch, when he got back from his workout.
"Hey" he greeted her casually. "Mission go okay?"
She made a face "Not exactly to plan, but we did what we needed to do, and without a body count, so..." she trailed off.
Clint listened to her as he walked into his tiny kitchen. He opened the fridge and pulled out two cans of coconut juice. He walked back into the living room and tossed one to her, and then sat down next to her on the couch. She rearranged herself, using his thighs as her footrest.
'What's the news around these parts?" she asked, sipping her juice.
"Saw the X5 Quinjet" he said casually.
"Yeah?" she asked "Plans to steal it?"
"Formulating some" he said with a grin.
"How does it stack up?"
"Better in every way. Smaller, faster, easier to handle, weapons upgrades that make me want to weep. Turns on a dime, too, apparently" Clint explained.
"So who was showing it off?" Natasha demanded.
"Danvers" Clint said with a hint of bitterness. "Air Force got the prototype. She and Colonel Rhodes came to town so SHIELD could get a looksie."
"Carol and Rhodey are in town? I better stop by and say hello" Natasha said. Suddenly she snapped her fingers. "Damn it, I need to introduce Carol to Steve."
"They met already. She gave him the tour, too."
Natasha's eyebrows lifted. "How did he go?"
Clint looked blankly at his best friend. "Fine."
"You mean he was able to engage her in conversation with turning beet red and stuttering?"
"Ohh" Clint intoned. "I see." He thought for a moment. "No, he was fine. They talked shop. He was perfectly okay..."
"Was she in uniform?" Natasha asked, frowning.
"Well, yeah. Flight suit"
"There you go. Women in uniform he can mostly handle" Natasha sighed, looking annoyed. "Of course, even in uniform she's a knock-out" she added with a smirk. "That skin-tight flight suit, those dangerous curves." She poked Clint in the leg with a toe.
"Don't know what you're talking about" Clint said casually, retaliating by flicking Natasha in the kneecap. "And I'm sure the Cap didn't notice either, he too much of a gentleman."
Natasha snorted. "Guy has eyes. He's too much of a gentleman to leer or say anything- I'm surprised he didn't just flat-out faint."
Clint laughed, thoroughly glad Natasha was back. They drank their juices in companionable silence for several minutes.
"You ever think about... taking a break, going on vacation?" Clint said casually.
Natasha had been waiting for this.
"We go on vacations" she said mildly, coaxing him out.
"Extended vacation. Sabbatical."
Natasha nodded slowly.
"We spend so much time supposedly keeping things in check on this rock, and we never... we never take time to actually see the world we're always saving."
"Good point" Natasha admitted.
Clint nodded and they lapsed back into silence.
"So, where would you go?" Natasha asked.
Clint shrugged. "New Zealand?"
"New Zealand" Natasha repeated, smiling. "What's in New Zealand, apart from Hobbits?"
Clint thought about it. "Mountains. Wine. White water rafting. Black water rafting. Geothermal hot springs. Kayaking. Zorbing."
Natasha looked at him, disgusted "Zorbing? Seriously, Barton? Bungy I would get, but Zorbing? Why don't you just let me stuff you into the washing machine and put it through the spin cycle?"
Clint chuckled.
After a moment Natasha asked him "You serious? You wanna take a trip?"
Clint took a minute to answer her. "Just thinking it might be good to get the hell out of Dodge for a while, you know?"
Natasha's jaw tightened. "Somebody say something to you?"
Clint sighed "Got a mini-lecture from the Cap. He wants me to go back to the head shrinker. I think a holiday is a much better option."
"I agree" Natasha said quietly. "And New Zealand is about as far away as you can get from here, huh?"
"Exactly" Clint nodded.
Natasha watched him. "If you want a travel buddy... I have leave owing."
"But... taking a leave from SHIELD is one thing... both of us off the team?" Clint raised an eyebrow.
It was Natasha's turn to sigh. "They might just have to deal with it."
Clint didn't look comfortable, but he kept quiet.
"I'm not backpacking" Natasha said suddenly. "No hostels."
"Why the hell not? We can totally handle roughing it" Clint said.
"I know. But missions are one thing. My vacation is something else entirely. No bunk beds. No communal showers. No 90-pound packs. I travel in style."
"Baby" Clint huffed.
…
"Hey, I was walking past a travel agent, and look what I picked up" Natasha said. She brandished a stack of magazines at Clint. He took them and flipped through them. They were brochures on touring New Zealand.
"Oh" Clint said, surprised. "Thanks."
"Thought you might want to do some planning. Once we apply for time off, of course."
"Uh, yeah" Clint said awkwardly, rubbing his neck.
"You don't want to go to New Zealand now? What, Australia instead? Japan?"
Clint shrugged "I was kinda just talking out of my ass the other day, Nat."
"No you weren't" Natasha said with a frown.
Clint swallowed hard. "We can't just... take off from the team. Not both of us, not at the same time."
"Okay. So, you take a break, go to the Antipodes, and send me a postcard while I cover your ass."
Clint avoided her eyes, busying himself with tidying his locker. "It's okay, Nat. Look, I just ended up making an appointment with the shrink. I'll go talk it all out, put Steve's mind at ease, and we can all be one big, happy, good-looking family again."
"Right" Natasha drawled. "That's the reset button."
She reached past him and tucked the magazines into his locker. "For when you're ready to do something for yourself."
She walked off, and Clint let her go without saying anything. He took the brochures out of his locker, flicked through them again, and then jammed them back in, closing his locker harder than was strictly necessary.
… … … ….
"So. What the hell was that?" Steve asked calmly.
"Saw a shot, took it" Clint said simply.
"You put yourself in the direct line of fire-"
"We all put ourselves in the direct line of fire every time we go out-" Clint interrupted, irritated.
"I told you to find cover and stay there while Hulk handled it-" Steve spoke over him.
"Hulk's back was turned, that thing came out to take a shot... but I got it first" Clint insisted.
"You were right out in the open, Clint!" Steve said, frustrated.
"Nat had my back. Stark was up top. It was a calculated risk."
Steve considered him for a moment. "You've been taking a lot of those lately."
"Sure. And they seem to pay off."
Neither of them was going to back down. They stared at each other.
"You've skipped training twice this week."
"Keeping count, huh?" Clint said casually.
"Of course. That's part of my job. And part of yours, too."
"What do you want from me,Cap? I'm doing my job. I'm doing two jobs, actually. SHIELD and Avengers. And at your insistence I've been seeing the psychiatrist again."
Steve considered this, and nodded slowly. "That's good, Clint... But maybe I'm asking too much of you at the moment."
"I think I know what I can handle and what I can't, thanks, Cap" Clint said sarcastically.
"Really? You keep acting out your frustrations in the field and you're going to get yourself hurt. Or killed. Or you're get someone else hurt."
Clint's hands closed into fists. His mouth pressed into a thin, angry line. "Then take me off the roster" he challenged.
Steve stared hard at the other man, his back tensing. "You're part of our team, Clint. We value what you bring, your skill and ingenuity. But for everyone's sake I have to be able to trust you, and I cannot put you out there if you're going to be reckless."
"Then I don't want to be out there if my team mates aren't going to trust my judgement."
Steve frowned deeply. "I don't trust your judgement, Clint. That's a serious problem."
"Well then," Clint said, shrugging. "I think we both have an answer."
Steve reached out and placed a hand on Clint's forearm, but Clint gave him such a look that Steve let his hand drop again. "Take some time, Clint. Do whatever you need to do to get back into a good head-space. You're an Avenger, and there will always be a place for you on the team when you want it."
"Whatever" Clint muttered, walking away.
...
"Did you just break up with Barton?" Tony asked casually.
"Shut up, Tony" Steve muttered, in no mood to be polite.
Tony wasn't phased, but he turned and studied the blonde man. "It probably needed to be done" he said simply.
Steve nodded sadly.
"I mean, when I start thinking someone's being reckless..."
"Yep" Steve sighed.
"Suspending Barton means you've thrown the balance of the team off, though. You're gonna have to replace him, if only temporarily."
Steve sighed heavily "I was just thinking that." He looked speculatively at Tony. "Do you think Colonel Rhodes would be interested in joining our super-secret boyband?"
Tony grinned at Steve. "I know for a fact that he'd love to. But you're overlooking one other problem... you just fired your pilot. You and Nat and Bruce are going to have to hitch-hike from now on."
Steve thought for a moment. "Maybe not..."
…
Steve found Carol in the kitchen of the upper guest quarters, making a club sandwich. She smiled at him when he walked in, but the smile dropped of her face when she saw his serious expression.
"What's wrong, Cap?" she asked.
"I need to ask you something... but I'm worried it will overstep our friendship" Steve began.
Carol set the butter knife down, and gave him her full attention.
"I don't need an answer straight away, if you want to think about it... But if you feel uncomfortable, or if you think it compromises anything, I don't want you to feel obligated..."
"Okay..." Carol said uncertainly, a small smile forming on her lips.
"Would you like to join the Avengers?" Steve asked.
Carol stared at him for a few seconds, and then blinked. "Wait. What?" she asked.
"I'm sorry to put you on the spot" Steve apologised.
"No... It's... that's fine" Carol managed.
"I really admire you- everyone on the team thinks you're great. You're an amazing pilot, I think you'd be an asset to the team" Steve said earnestly.
"Then, I accept" Carol said graciously.
Steve beamed at her. "Really? That's swell. You're really helping me out- the team- you're helping the team out" Steve explained, reaching out to shake Carol's hand.
"Glad to be a part of the team, then..." Carol said with a grin.
"Welcome to the Avengers" Steve told her.
… … … ...
Author's notes: Don't panic! Clint is still going to be around, and he'll get back on the roster in a big way, he just has a few things to work through first. Stay tuned.
Also: Zorbing. Look it up on YouTube if you don't know what it is. Looks like fun, but very similar to being put through the wash. Or jettisoned from the Helicarrier.
From here on in the storytelling is going to be alternating between this series and it's counterpart, "Notes from a Royal Screw-up," so be sure to follow that, too, and everything will make sense. Honest.