Note: This chapter follows on from Chapter 7 of "Notes From a Royal Screw-up" which is here:
s/8540118/7/Notes-From-A-Royal-ScrewUp -read that first. Thanks.
Also, this chapter is rated M for language.
Vicissitude
Chapter Five – We are the Champions
"You lying son-of-a-bitch" Tony Stark said, as he slammed into the room.
Nick Fury didn't look up from his tablet. "Good morning to you, too, Stark."
Tony strode over to Fury's desk, grabbed the tablet from Fury's hands, and threw it onto the ground.
This got Fury's attention. In an instant he was on his feet, toe to toe with the enraged Stark.
"What the hell is your problem today?" Fury demanded.
"I know that Coulson's alive" Tony said in a dangerously low voice.
Fury's expression gave away nothing, but he considered Tony for a moment. "Well, I'm surprised Loki kept that one to himself for so long."
Tony stepped back and just stared at Fury, not trying to hide the expression of betrayal he knew was in his eyes.
"You lied to us. I understand why you did it, but goddamn it, Fury! You don't get to play god like that! Do you have any idea-" Tony broke off. He was so angry and exasperated he couldn't continue. He paced angrily for a moment. Fury patiently watched him.
"You have no idea how badly Pepper took it." Tony pushed out a sigh. "And we all felt like... we all had his blood on our hands- his death on our consciences, you prick. You should have told us he was alive. We got the job done for you, we got together as a team, like you wanted. It was the least you could have done..."
Fury held up a hand in an almost placating gesture. "I thought he was dead."
"Bullshit" Tony muttered.
Fury ignored him and continued. "The medic on the scene called it. That's the truth- Coulson was down. He had no discernible pulse. He looked dead. They took him down to the medical bay, and the doctors there discovered he had a cardiac tamponade- his pericardium was so full of blood that his heart couldn't beat properly. So they did emergency surgery."
"So when exactly did you know?"
"I was appraised of the situation before I met with you and Captain Rogers after the Helicarier attack. There was no point saying anything at that stage because he wasn't expected to live. So I let the drama of the moment push you both into action."
Tony shook his head, disgusted. "Why didn't you say anything afterwards? Did you think we didn't care?"
"Because for weeks afterwards Phil was only just hanging in there. Some of the post-surgical treatment they gave him was completely experimental, and we didn't know if he was gonna live or die. So we kept it quiet. And once he woke up again, he asked me to keep things quiet."
"Why?" Tony demanded.
Fury scrutinised him "Not everyone gets shrapnel in their heart, builds a miniaturised arc reactor and walks away to become a hero, Stark" Fury said coldly. "He lost a lot of blood. He had a stroke during his second surgery. His recovery has been painfully slow, and he's very, very conscious that he's not the man he was before. He's had a lot to deal with, and the last thing he wanted was all his superhero buddies showing up and feeling sorry for him."
"What about regular buddies showing up to help him? Between Banner and I, there has to be something we could be doing-"
"He's been Henry Pym's guinea pig. He doesn't need any more mad scientists on the case. What he wants is to be left alone while he heals and figures out what to do."
"No." Tony shook his head. "I want to see him. Everyone in the team has a right to know. And Pepper. She needs to see him, see that he's okay."
"He's not okay, Stark. Which part of this do you not understand? And staying 'dead' is his choice" Fury said severely.
"Bullshit. I want to see him. You tell him. You tell him he's expected at Stark Tower this afternoon, and to wear his party pants, because he's getting a hell of a welcome back."
...
Tony didn't really know how Pepper would react to the news, but he didn't quite expect her reaction to be nonchalant disbelief. He took her aside, sat her down on the couch, and explained very quickly, and very simply that it turned out Phil Coulson was actually alive, and would be dropping in to see them. Pepper looked him in the eyes.
"Have you been drinking?" said said in a flat voice.
"No. Pepper. I know it's crazy, but it's the truth."
Pepper considered him for a moment, and then simply nodded. "Okay" she said.
Tony looked at her narrowly. "Okay?"
She nodded again and stood. "Okay, Tony. Whatever you you say. I guess we'll all have a nice reunion later." She went back into her home office, shutting the door quietly behind her.
…
Tony and Steve pulled into the secure basement garage of Stark Tower, to find a black SHIELD SUV already parked.
"Probably a good thing Loki got work at the college this afternoon" Steve said casually.
"Yeah. We don't really want him and Barton in the building at the same time while this is happening" Tony agreed. "Unless you like throwing petrol onto an open flame."
"Not really, no" Steve muttered. "But... we're not going to be able to keep Clint away from Loki indefinitely. Or Natasha, for that matter. Something is gonna give eventually..."
"Yeah, well. We deal with it when it happens. We have to get through this first" Tony said grimly.
Steve studied the dark-haired man. "You okay?"
Tony considered the question. "I don't know what to expect" Tony said very quietly.
Steve nodded. "Whatever happens, no matter how bad he is, look him in the eye" Steve said. "And don't be afraid to touch him. No matter how damaged he might be, he's still a person."
Tony glanced at Steve, feeling a twinge of admiration for the man. Moments like these served to remind him that no matter how out of place the blonde man sometimes seemed, he was worldly in ways Tony couldn't quite imagine. They stepped from the vehicle and waited.
The driver's side door opened, and a burly SHIELD agent climbed out. He moved around to the trunk of the vehicle and removed a wheelchair, deftly opening it out for use.
Tony felt his heart sink a little at the sight of the wheelchair. Instinctively, he made to step forward and help, but Steve placed a gentle hand on his arm.
"He's got it" Steve said reassuringly
One of the rear passenger doors open, and Nick Fury climbed out. He face was studiously neutral, and he nodded to to Steve and Tony. He stepped around to the other passenger door as the SHIELD agent opened it, and carefully assisted the passenger out of the car and into the wheelchair. Fury gently turned the chair and brought it around to Tony and Steve.
Coulson was pale and diminished, and wore the pinched expression of someone in constant pain.
Despite the shock of seeing such a vital, wily man in such bad shape, Tony felt his mouth pull into a grin. He let out a breath of relief and stepped forward, smothering the grin, and studied the agent.
"Well. You look like crap" Tony said casually.
Coulson's eyes narrowed. "I've missed you, too, Stark" he said blandly.
Tony couldn't help but grin again, and he leaned forward, thrusting out his right hand.
With painful slowness Coulson raised his right hand. It seemed to take every ounce of concentration he had to shakily move his arm upwards, and Tony waited patiently. Finally, Coulson grasped Tony's hand as hard as he could, and shook it.
"It's so good to see you" Tony breathed.
"It's surprisingly good to see you, too" Coulson said quietly. He gently broke off the handshake and lowered his arm to his side again.
Tony hooked a thumb over his shoulder at Steve. "You remember my buddy here, Steve?"
Coulson thoughtfully regarded his hero for a moment. "Hmm... you seem vaguely familiar..." he teased.
Steve grinned expansively, and moved towards Coulson. He crouched in slightly, and reached out low and close to Coulson, offering his hand to shake so Coulson didn't have to reach up so far.
"It's an honour to see you again, Sir" Steve said graciously. "You do us proud."
"Well, I'm just a bit player, really. I heard all about what the likes of you got up to after I died" Coulson said.
"Oh, whatever spin Fury put on it, it was way more dangerous and considerably more glamorous than he says" Tony said proudly. He gestured for the group to follow him to his private elevator. They rode up to his living quarters, and Tony got everyone settled.
"I was promised cake" Coulson said casually, a twinkle in his eye.
"Well... I'm a lousy cook, so let me go get our resident cake-maker" Tony said.
He slipped from the room to find Pepper in her office. He tapped the door. "Pep. Do you want to come out? Phil is here. I'm sure he'd like to see you..."
Pepper shook her head and ignored Tony. He slipped into the room and rested his hands on her shoulders. She was shaking slightly. He massaged her neck very gently and made a soothing noise as she silently wept.
"I don't understand" she whispered. "I should be happy that he survived. But I thought he was gone, and I don't know how to feel."
"I think I understand what you mean" Tony said gently, moving to sit on her desk so he could face her. "We mourned him... we moved on..."
"I'm scared to see him" Pepper admitted, shamefaced.
Tony sighed. "Pep, I gotta tell you... he looks bad. It's upsetting to see him look so vulnerable. But, Doctor Pym saved the guy's life, and Phil is clearly doing his damnedest to make the most of that."
Pepper let out a shaky breath, and reached for a tissue to dab her eyes dry. She gave Tony a watery smile, and let him take her hand and guide her out of the room.
…
Pepper's dry eyes lasted about three seconds.
As soon as she saw Coulson her face crumpled, and she covered her mouth with her hands.
Coulson had been chatting with Steve about his physical therapy program, and when he took in Pepper's reaction his face softened.
"Miss Potts. Please don't cry. Everything is going to be fine" he said calmly.
This only served to make Pepper cry even harder, but through her tears she hurried to Phil's side and sunk down next to him, reaching across the arm of his wheelchair to pull him into an awkward hug. Coulson grimaced with discomfort, but looked oddly pleased.
"Be gentle" Fury warned Pepper, in what was probably the kindest tone he'd ever used.
Pepper pulled back self-consciously and swatted away her tears. "Did Tony offer you a drink?" she asked, going into hostess mode She stood up and smoothed out her skirt.
"I'm fine, thank you" Coulson said.
"Steve? Directory Fury? Can I get either of you anything?"
Both men politely declined.
"Oh... I made a cake" Pepper breathed. "I should go..." she trailed off and flitted out of the room.
Tony suppressed a grin. "She's never that happy to see me. I mean, ever. Is there something you're not telling me, Phil?"
"I don't know what you're talking about" Coulson dead-panned. He looked towards the doorway with interest.
"Hi" Bruce said shyly, entering. He looked around at the group. "Ah, we only met kinda' briefly, but... I heard what happened... You're looking good."
"You're a terrible liar, Doctor Banner" Coulson said.
Bruce smile self-deprecating and shrugged. "Yeah, I am. But it's good to see you."
"I've heard you're doing pretty well these days" Coulson complimented.
"Yeah... I've got a pretty unique support group."
"Me. He has me" Tony boasted. "You know how good I am with people. I keep him calm, happy..."
"You must really have a lid on it now, to be able to co-exist with Stark" Coulson said admiringly to Bruce.
Bruce smiled and shrugged. "He's not so bad once you get used to him"
"I'm lovely" Tony said. Steve smiled and rolled his eyes.
Bruce politely ignored Tony. He looked at Coulson with some curiosity. "So... Henry Pym has been treating you?" he asked conversationally.
"Yes. He's been experimenting on me quiet enthusiastically. It's hit and miss" Coulson said dryly. "Though I suppose it saves him having to experiment on himself."
Bruce chuckled lightly "Yeah. We scientists can get a little carried away sometimes..."
"If you'd like to meet him, I'm sure I can arrange something. If you can stand being poked and prodded."
Bruce and Tony both laughed. "Oh, I've gotten used to that" Bruce said, swatting Tony's hand away as the inventor tried to poke him in the stomach. "And... that sounded wrong" Bruce added, blushing slightly.
"That did sound wrong" Steve added.
"You know, for someone who's come back from the dead, you look pretty good" Natasha Romanoff said as she strode into the room. She knelt in front of Coulson and gently embraced him.
"It's good to get you back" she whispered as she held him.
Coulson wrapped his left arm around her, and rested his chin on her shoulder as she cuddled him. He looked over her shoulder to the doorway. Clint was standing there looking at him, pale and calm.
"Hey, Barton" Coulson greeted.
Clint silently nodded, and continued to study the other SHIELD agent. Natasha let go, and gently re-arranged Coulson in his wheelchair.
"It's okay, Barton. You can come closer- I swear I'm not a zombie" Coulson said with a hint of a smile.
Clint stayed where he was. "I don't know. How can I be sure? You coming back from the dead and all."
"It's not like you have any brains to worried about" Natasha slung at Clint. "And if you feel threatened, you can always shoot him with your guns."
Clint smiled lightly, and stepped into the room, walking slowly to stand next to Natasha. She reached out and gave his left bicep a squeeze. "Always armed" she drawled.
"Well. I see you two haven't changed at all" Coulson observed. "And don't worry, if I were a zombie, I'd be a George Romero kind, not a 28 Days Later kind. You'd be out of the building before I even got up out of the chair."
Clint glanced uneasily at the wheelchair, but stayed silent.
"Speaking of the chair..." Natasha ventured. "Looks kinda' clunky." She glanced around at Tony.
"I'm sure Stark could build you something much better..."
"Challenge accepted" Tony said casually, eyeing the wheelchair.
"Tony, take the afternoon off" Steve said gently. "We've got more important things to do right now..."
Tony broke off from scrutinising the chair to look up and see Pepper swaying back into the room. She'd iced the cake and topped it with a sparkler, which illuminated her face. She looked sad and contented all at the same time, and Tony felt an enormous surge of love for her. He glanced over at Coulson, and for the first time since he'd met the agent, the man was genuinely and openly smiling.
"Now, that's more like it."
...
Coulson managed two pieces of the chocolate-peanut butter chip-chocolate cake, which pleased Pepper. She felt, at the very least, that he could do with some fattening up. She'd talked Tony out of opening champagne to go with the cake, knowing Coulson wouldn't be able to partake because of his medications, so instead they ended the celebration with very strong cups of coffee.
"So, Sitwell knows you're alive, right?" Natasha asked Coulson.
"Yes, he was informed recently."
"Did he cry?" Natasha asked with a tiny smile.
"I'm afraid I cannot disclose that information" Coulson said formally.
"He wept like a baby" Fury piped in matter-of-factly.
Natasha snorted with laughter.
"I didn't realise you and Jasper were on close terms" Steve said.
"Yes. He was one of my protégés," Coulson explained, glancing at Clint.
Barton hadn't left Coulson's side the entire afternoon, and to the others he seemed like the human equivalent of a guard dog. Clint had sat quietly, not really participating in the conversation, but he'd kept a careful eye on Coulson as the agent slowly and careful worked his way through the cake, using his left hand to hold the fork.
"It's an interesting challenge to suddenly be left handed" Coulson remarked quietly, and Clint smiled slightly.
"Well, it's an exclusive club, so think yourself lucky" he said seriously. He watched Coulson awkwardly break off a chunk of cake and manoeuvre it into his mouth.
"You're doing really well" Clint assured him.
"Thanks" Coulson chewed thoughtfully and studied Clint. At length he asked, "How are you doing?"
"Same old, same old" Clint lied.
"That so?"
"You know what it's like."
Coulson studied Clint a little longer. "Barton... we're trained to compartmentalise our feelings, but just because we can lock them down doesn't mean they ever really go away."
"I know that" Clint said calmly. He looked at Coulson like there was so much more he wanted to say, but then looked away suddenly. He looked around the room. "I was really just a part of this Avengers thing by default. Maybe I should get over myself and just focus on being a SHIELD agent again." He smiled very wryly at Coulson "Life was so much simpler back then."
Coulson studied him, his face neutral. "You can tell yourself that. But I'd like you keep this in mind, Clint; things might get worse before they get better-"
"Great" Clint drawled.
"They might" Coulson continued. "But no matter how far down you go, there's always a way back."
Clint met Coulson's eyes.
"Look at me" Coulson said gently. "I've got a long way to go, but I've already come so far."
Clint pushed out an angry, frustrated breath, and looked away forcibly, ending the conversation.
Steve wandered over "Are you doing okay, Agent Coulson?" he asked gently.
Coulson smiled up at his hero. "Fine, thank you Captain. But please, just call me Phil."
Steve smiled shyly. "That doesn't seem quite right" he said formally.
"Well technically I'm no longer an agent, if that makes it simpler?"
"Why aren't you an agent?" Clint demanded.
"I'm not going to be able to resume my field duty, Barton" Coulson explained calmly.
"So? Just because you can't go out into the field doesn't mean your career is over. Why can't you be a consultant? Go into Ops or planning, become a negotiator-"
"All in time" Coulson assured Clint. "I will explore my options when, and if, I become fully recovered."
Clint's argument died on his lips, and for the first time he allowed himself to look openly stricken.
An uneasy silence fell over the room. Clint chewed his lip.
"Help me clear the plates?" Pepper asked moving over to Clint. He broke off from staring at Coulson and stood, allowing Pepper to hand him a stack of crockery. He followed her to the kitchen, happy to leave the room.
… … … ...
Author's notes: This is for Myth Queen, so she can get on with her essay writing! This story thread will continue in the next chapter of "Notes From a Royal Screw-up" which won't be up til later next week. Mentions of Dr Henry Pym? He might just crop up some time...
Happy Thanksgiving to my US friends.