(I want to thank everyone for the reviews. I was really down about this, because, it seems that the reviews are becoming less with each chapter. So, before it dwindle to nothing, I plan to bring this to an end. I also want to thank those that follow and fav as well.)
DESPERATION
Goodbye
Words that are said so casually
Until it last forever
Then it is so hard to say it
Goodbye
Nami stood alone ...as she wipe the tears from her eyes. One hand pushing them from her lashes as the other ...her elbow's crook would seek to hide them from the world. She had managed to hold it in before, she had stood before them all without them...even as the truth was revealed. But, there was no one to see it now, no where to hide. But still, she didn't want to ...if she release those tears.
There would be no way to take them back.
Sanji is dead.
Even as their captain and first mate fought, she shed no tears.
The one sided fight ...as Luffy hit Zoro over and over again. As he called him a liar, and he demanded he take back what he said. That Sanji wasn't dead, and that he would be coming back to them. As those hits became more furious, and as his words turned from a demand to something of a plea.
But, nothing Luffy said nor did ...made Zoro even flinch nor say a single word in his own defense.
He wouldn't take it back.
Luffy might have beaten him to death if Franky hadn't interfered. The man would literally step in and grabbing Luffy by both arms and pull him away from Zoro. Chopper would then in get in between any more fighting as he went to check out the injuries.
Nami couldn't get it out of her head.
Sanji was gone, and all they could think to do was fight.
All those two every did was fight, but they would never fight again. And for a moment, she could see him there, Zoro and him, the two of them fighting ... a fight that was more of a dance than anything else. A thrust of his legs, a parry of his swords, and as it ran down his face ...it would vanish.
The dream ...the hope ..the wish.
They never drew blood.
Yet, Blood drip down his face to run into the collar of his shirt.
Zoro's blood.
More blood spill.
They had returned to their ship ...afterwards ...to gather supplies. Luffy wouldn't hear about them leaving. He refuse to believe in Zoro's words. He believed that Sanji wasn't dead, and thus, they would wait for him. Not long, a day maybe more. They would wait where he could find them, and that would require they had supplies. They had everything they needed for the day and the night on the ship, and so they had to come back. Even knowing that the bear man had been here, couldn't take away the comfort of getting to the ship, of seeing it. For a moment everything seem like it would be able to go back to normal, but that blew away the moment she looked towards the kitchen.
Sanji's kitchen.
He would never return there again.
She had gone to her room immediately after that giving some excuse about needing a map or something, and here, she bolted her door and fought against it. Her back press against the door, because, she didn't have the strength to move any further and hold it back as well. Though she fought hard ...it was winning ...she couldn't hold it back.
Too much ...this had been too much.
She would sob openly finally..as her arms drop from her face and her legs gave out as she slide to the ground.
His ear would flick with the sound.
Behind a door, it was muffled, but he could hear it.
Nami ... the word's escape Chopper's mouth as he felt the tears pour down his face again. More tears, more hurt, more pain, and the little reindeer had to wonder if it was worth it. If he should have come to sea, because, at home ...though there was pain. Though he hurt, there wasn't much more he could lose there. There wasn't any more lives that when extinguish would cause him more pain. Here, he thought of their smiling faces, of the hands that reached out to him, and to the fact that they had called him friend, nakama. The first was Luffy, the second Zoro, the third, Nami, the fourth, Usopp and the fifth ...he had died alone.
Just like the doctor ...the one who had been his best friend, his father, his brother ...the one person that hadn't called him a monster. That had help him without him asking, why ...why did they die? Why did he leave? Why did they leave? Sanji wasn't sick, so why didn't he save him?
He was suppose to be their doctor.
How could he let death take another person?
Wasn't he looking for the All Cure? Wasn't he studying to make sure death never happen again on his watch. So why? Why didn't he...?
The tears pour down his face and into his fur.
A hand would touch his hat, then.
"Don't cry over that shitty cook."
Zoro? That's right, he was suppose to be helping him, and for once, Zoro was being a good patient. He had come back to the ship with him, because, he didn't have enough supplies there they had come to his office ...to their sick bay.
So, he had to do it
He had to take away his pain
He wanted someone to take away his, but ...
Chopper went about bandaging the areas where the wounds were open. Though he could do nothing about the ones that were close, even though they bleed out ...all the same. He couldn't stop it.
He couldn't stop Zoro's bleeding, because, he couldn't stop his own.
Doctor-kun will make him better.
Robin was sure of that as they split up. Their hearts were too heavy to even assist those that had come with them to the ship. They gave them free run to take what they want. Navigator-san, will be livid about that, but, at this moment ...they could probably dismantle the entire ship, and the crew wouldn't care.
Especially, if that would return him to them.
She went to her room as well.
Her heart hurt, as she remembered him.
That time on the train, she thought he was going to die. He had run through the entire thing, he had fought his way to the front, and even there ...he wasn't willing to give up. He would give up his life to save her, and on that tower ...he had been with them.
She had been willing to give up her life to protect theirs.
They were willing as well.
So, why wasn't it enough?
They had said they were strong enough to defeat anything, so why?
Why was he dead?
She search for the truth in the past.
But there was one thing that past, present, and the future will always have in common.
Death.
It exist in all three times, and would exist as long as there was life. No matter what glyph she read or ancient tome, she couldn't find a cure for it, it was always there. Always looming, always around her, and though they had promise her ...that she would be free of it.
It would still claim everything she loved.
She would start to laugh. The deep laughter that she had taken from the small Giant. The one that he had taught her when she was truly in despair. Always laugh, even during the bad times, even when it hurt. She press her hands against her face as the tears started to flow.
"Dere-shii."
"Dere-shiiiii...shiii."
Why did she always survive?
Boom!
The entire ship rocked as...Franky lost it. He had managed to hold in his anger, he had managed to stay calm, but he couldn't stop the tears. They hadn't know him long, he hadn't know them long. So, it shouldn't hurt...but it was like with the ship.
The tears wouldn't stop.
It was too sad ...too sad.
A hand would touch his back then.
"Sanji wouldn't like that. He considered himself to be a man among men, so he wouldn't like it if a man was crying over him like that."
Usopp would tell him, and as Franky turned to give his reply ...his mouth would fall open.
"You are crying too."
Ever the liar, Usopp would simply tell him.
"I am not crying, I just got dust in my eyes when you threw that big machine."
He would wipe at the tears, but they still cascaded down his face.
"So, let's get to work."
Franky would almost laugh. Sure, only dust from the machine he threw, but, he hadn't thrown any machine.
Usopp had known Sanji from the beginning.
He was there when he joined the crew, he had seen what Luffy had done to gain him. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the boy would wait forever for him. They would never have another cook.
Luffy would never allow it.
The tears wouldn't stop as he turned and went back to his station. They had a job to do afterall. Droplets falling on the metal in his hands, and he would wipe it away.
Though the thoughts never stopped.
Sanji had had a home.
He wasn't like himself, who had been ...a good for nothing. He wasn't like Nami, whom had given up everything to spare everyone, and who ...had never been at home to begin with. There was a place for him...he had made a place for himself in this world. He wasn't an outcast like Chopper, or a criminal like Robin. He hadn't been considered a nuisance like Franky, nor was he alone like Brook. He didn't get lost like Zoro.
Sanji had a place to go back to ...even if he never succeed.
He had a skill that would allow him to leave the sea behind him.
He had a purpose, even if this mission failed.
He had nakama ...even if he wasn't on this ship.
What would they tell them?
He didn't have to take the route of a pirate.
He didn't have to die.
So why?
He dropped it ...the metal piece in his hand as he wipe at tears.
Damn them.
There was too many to continue to work. Too many to see ...
Why?
Why did they have to say goodbye?
The banquet took place that night, it wasn't much. There was no chef to turn the food into delicacies. There was only those that knew how to cook, so it was edible, but it wasn't the same.
A blessing in disguise, while, Brook played his song.
Everything was so un-naturally quiet.
Luffy was still outside ...even though it was dark, he sat in the rubble waiting. No one dared to approach him about coming inside, and eventually it would be Zoro that would take him food. The Captain looked at him for a moment, and then he would simply take the food from him. It was silent, but they both had come to some sort of a resolution as Zoro sat down next to him.
Though no words had been spoken it was like a silent call to them all.
Like a steady flow of water trekking it's way through snow ... the rest of the strawhats would gather around them outside ...one after another. Until, even Brook joined them as Luffy smiled big for the first time. It was a confirmation ...that he was a member of their crew. That he had become their nakama, and it seemed to lift the heaviness from their hearts for a moment.
Then the skeleton asked him ...did he really believe it ...that Sanji wasn't dead? That he would return?
Was he going to bring it back again?
The man that said he would be pirate king didn't even hesitate.
"Of course, just like Laboon is waiting for you. WE will wait for him"
It would break down all barriers then ...as the story of the whale was told. As Brook remember his own story, and as they gained a new nakama under the stars. Though Zoro stay quiet throughout this ...he was still so close.
If Luffy heard him now? He had never been afraid of his Captain before, but then, he had never seen the rage he had display against Zoro. He didn't think he could take it if that rage was pointed at him, but, he had to do it. Now was the best time, it was the only time, because they had finished already.
He wanted to put them to rest together.
Brook's nakama and Sanji.
Usopp would gather his own courage.
"We can't leave him out there."
He would say the words as a whisper at first, but his tone gain a normalcy to it. He knew it hurt Luffy to hear him say it, but they couldn't pretend forever.
"We need to bury him or send him out to sea. I know ...he wouldn't want us to see him, but we can't leave him ...like that."
Zoro would look back at him. His words were almost a whisper ... but it carried clearly to the entire group.
No one missed those words.
"There is no body...
...just blood...
...too much blood."