Chapter 7 - and the longest so far! This is becoming a labour of love! Please review if you get the chance, your feedback keeps me motivated! Enjoy x
Nick pushed his way thought the crowd, searching for her sky blue dress. The people around him danced, laughed, talked; he had to squeeze his way past until he reached the kitchen door. Only place left, he thought. Grabbing the door handle he quickly turned it to the right and pushed inwards, "Jess-" he began. Immediately, his eyes were assaulted by the sight of two figures sat upon the kitchen work top, in mid-embrace. The male figure was tall, wearing an expensive looking shirt with sandy coloured hair. The other figure had her face turned away from him - but he instantly recognised the pretty blue dress. His mind whirled, his heart raced, he felt the sickening knot of dread that lived within his stomach begin to swell and twist. The rush of blood to his head caused his ears to ring loudly as the room began to slowly spin. Startled, the figures broke apart and she turned to face him with flushed cheeks and a surprised expression in her eyes.
"Nick I-" she stopped mid-sentence. His eyes moved to the man sat next to her. Oh man, Nick thought, it's him, Dr. Sam. Nick's inner sense of inadequacy began to kick into overdrive. It's him. Mr perfect. Successful. Confident. Good looking. Everything I'm not. The feeling in his stomach began to increase with every passing millisecond. Finally he managed to speak.
"I've been looking for you..." But his voice trailed off. He didn't know what to do or say. He couldn't get angry with her. How could he blame her? Of course she came running as soon as he came calling again.
"Look who I bumped into, Sam!" Jess's voice took on a slightly strained, high-pitch tone as she pulled her face into an uncomfortable smile and gestured to her left. She looks guilty, he thought. Panic began to sweep over Nick, he knew it was over and he needed to be somewhere else. He couldn't look at her face. That face that had become so familiar and cherished, the face he had spent many hours watching as she slept. His eyes began to dart around the room searching for something else to focus on, "Er, yeah, um, I'm just gonna…" He didn't finish his sentence, unable to think. He reached for the handle of the door behind him and quickly exited the room, not waiting for a response from Jess.
About an hour later, at the bar
"I think I'm in love with you," the words had escaped Nick's lips before his mind had time to process them. The beer and whiskey he had consumed that evening had begun to make his mind fog; loosening his lips and inhibitions. He couldn't believe she had come to find him - he thought it was over. Done. Why was she here? He wasn't worth this kind of effort. He was the guy who you went to when you had no other options. Jess had options. So many. This didn't make sense...
The moment between them was broken by the high pitched tone of Jess's phone ringing. They both shook out of the trance that they had been in, Jess fumbling for her purse which was gently shaking from the vibrations.
"Melissa? What's up? Really? Oh my God ... I'm on my way," Jess quickly cancelled the call on her phone and looked up to meet Nick's earnest gaze. "Sadie's in labour. She's having her baby," her eyes widened in excitement.
"You should go, be there for your friend..." Nick moved back towards the bar and gestured to the new barman for another round. Suddenly, he felt a warm hand grasp his shoulder - he turned to look and saw Jess's blue eyes fixated upon his.
"Come with me," she said.
"Jess, I barely know Sadie..."
"Nick, please. I want to talk to you... Come with me," Jess's voice faded away as her eyes made a silent appeal to Nick. He couldn't say no to her.
The journey to the hospital did not serve to continue their conversation. The alcohol Nick had consumed had decided it would like to make a reappearance. The motion of the car had made it necessary for him to spend most of the ride with his head out of the window. Jess sighed, she needed to finish what they had started, talk about what Nick had said. But, it'd have to wait. The feeling of unfinished business combined with the excitement of the impending arrival created a perfect storm of emotion within her. She felt a little sick and dizzy, but was what was causing it.
Pulling into the hospital parking lot and turning off the engine, she turned to face him as he wound up the window. His face was still a little green looking but most of all she noticed he looked sad. What is going on in that head. "Nick," she began, "about what you said earlier-"
"Wait-" Nick interrupted, quickly pulling open his door and vomiting not so silently. Great, she thought, the night my boyfriend tells me he thinks he is in love he abandons me at a party, gets drunk and then pukes everywhere. Dejectedly, Jess opened her door and headed round to Nick, "Come on Sicky, we've got a baby to go meet."
Inside the hospital the astringent smell of disinfectant had a sobering effect upon Nick, and combined with the fact that the alcohol he had ingested was now mostly in the parking lot, he began to pull himself back into reality, away from the drunken fog. Walking along the pale mint corridors towards the maternity unit, the words he had spoken to Jess at the bar rang in his ears, I think I love you. He silently remonstrated himself, you idiot Miller, you always do this, move in too fast, make things weird. A small voice inside of him replied, but she came back for you and this is different, it's Jess. Hequickly squashed that thought. No, I've made a huge mess of this. It's over. She clearly just wanted to end things nicely, because she is a nice person. Unlike you.
The voice was only silenced as they reached the nurse's station and were given instructions on where to go. They walked silently along the corridor to room 12, the only sound the soft clack of her heels. When they arrived, a small group of friends were already in the waiting area outside, including Cece who was clutching a silver balloon on a length of yellow ribbon that read, 'Congratulations Mom & Dad', but the word Dad had been crossed out with a marker and changed to 'Mom'. "Hey, guys!" Cece waved enthusiastically, "Isn't this exciting? I can't believe it's happening!" Her wide smile dropped a little when she saw the smile that Jess was wearing did not extend to her eyes and noticed the fact that Nick looked a little, well, rough.
"Yeah, it's amazing. So what have we missed?" Cece filled in Jess on the happenings at the hospital, Melissa had announced not so long ago that Sadie was almost 10cm dilated so it would not be long at all. At the talk of 'dilation' Nick began to feel a little queasy and took off to find a coffee machine, hopefully that will sober you up so we can finish our conversation, Jess thought as she watched him walk away.
Cece followed Jess's gaze as Nick retreated on his search. As soon as he was out of earshot, she pulled Jess around to face her and said, "Spill."
"Spill what?" Jess said, unconvincingly trying to sound unaware of what she was referring to.
"Stop playing around. What happened? Did you guys have a fight or something?"
Jess sighed lightly and replied, "No, not exactly." She clasped her hands together and began to fidget with her nails. "He told me he thinks he loves me."
"Okay, I'm confused, why is that causing all this, whatever this is?"
"I bumped into Sam at the party. Nick saw us together. When we were alone. And we were hugging," her gaze met Cece's and Cece's eyes widened in acknowledgement.
"Oh damn, he saw you? Was something going on?"
"No, no of course not," she swatted the idea down with her hand, "It was a 'nice to see you thing'. But Nick being Nick..."
"Uh-huh," Cece replied, slowly nodding her head.
"So he ran off, left me at the party," Jess pulled an annoyed face, "Went to the bar and began to drink his feelings." She leant forward and rested the side of her face on her hand.
"Okay, so Nick was being an idiot, put two and two together and made six." Jess nodded in response. "So I'm confused, when did he say he loved you?"
"At the bar, when he was drunk. I'd just gone to talk to him, I know he can get weird sometimes and Cece, his face when he walked in on me and Sam..." Jess broke off and briefly buried her face in her hands before straightening up and matching her gaze. "And then he goes and says he thinks he loves me?"
"I will never understand that man. He sure can pick his moments. So, have you talked about it?"
"No, straight after he said it I got a call from Melissa. And on the way here he was sick...'
At that moment Nick reappeared from the direction he left, three steaming cups of coffee in his hands. Jess gave Cece a silent look to keep quiet and Nick re-joined them. They silently drank their coffee and waited.
Later that night
"Oh Sadie, she is gorgeous," Jess cooed as she held the tightly wrapped bundle. She looked down at the pink face peeking out from the blanket and her heart melted. She definitely wanted kids someday.
"Thanks," replied Sadie, who was sat up in bed whilst Melissa perched beside her holding her hand, "We think we'll keep her."
"Well I'm in awe," began Cece, "How you got that," she gestured to the baby, "Out of there..." She moved her other hand to point towards Sadie.
"Drugs Cece, that's all I'm saying, drugs." Jess smiled and passed the baby over to Cece.
"So when can you leave?" She asked.
"Hopefully in the morning, if I can get some sleep."
"Oh you must be exhausted...I feel so inconsiderate."
"You've waited 6 hours, the least you could do was meet her tonight!" Sadie shot a loving look towards Cece and the baby, "Actually we wanted to ask you both a favour. Would you be her godparents?" Jess and Cece looked at each other in shock. Jess's arm moved quickly to her chest.
"Oh guys, I'd be honoured," replied Cece.
"Me too, that's an amazing gesture. Thank you!" Jess quickly walked to the bed and enveloped them both in a soft hug. "This has been an amazing night. And I think we ought to leave mommy and mommy to get to know their new addition." The two new moms beamed with pure happiness as Cece handed back the baby.
"I'll call you tomorrow, I want to be the first to know when you decide upon a name," Jess said.
"You'll be the first. It's such a bit responsibility. I don't want to be the parent who scars their child with a ridiculous name." Melissa laughed as she spoke and they all waved goodbye to each other as they left the room.
Nick had been quietly watching the scene from the doorway, feeling a little awkward being privy to such a private moment. He had watched with sad eyes as Jess had cradled the new born child. She looks like a natural, he thought, she'll be a great mom. The knot in his stomach twisted again and he felt a small wave of nausea ride through his body. They still had not had the chance to talk. He felt embarrassed at his earlier declaration. He was torn between wanting to know what she was thinking and the dread of hearing the inevitable from her lips.
Saying goodbye to Cece at the hospital entrance, they started to walk towards the car. Suddenly walking towards them he saw Sam. Great, he thought, as if my night could get any worse.
"Hey guys, what you doing here?" Sam asked. Jess filled him in on the happy news. "Aw, awesome, I love kids. I'm just here to pick up Lydia."
"Yes Nick," Jess said pointedly, "Lydia, his girlfriend." Nick caught his breath. He was seeing someone? So that meant...
"Yeah, she's working night shift. Great to see you guys, congrats on everything. I'm glad it's working out." With a quick wave, he headed towards the rotating doors and left Nick and Jess in silence.
"So..." Nick began.
"So..." Jess echoed.
"I'm sorry for being a jerk," he dug his hands into his pockets and looked at Jess with his head tilted downwards, "I overreacted. I didn't even give you a chance to say anything. I thought that was us done."
"You think so little of me? You think I would cheat on you?" Nick continued to look at her with puppy eyes. "Nick, I'm in this for real, I'm not messing around. You are one of my closest friends. Do you think I would risk that by doing this, this relationship thing with you to throw it away for a fling?" Her voice began to rise as the anger she had earlier bottled away began to rise to the surface.
Nick took a deep breath, "If you had to choose, between him and me - I mean it's not a contest. He's everything I'm not. He could give you everything you need. He's the kinda guy your dad would approve of." He smarted at the memory of her dad's disapproval.
"We'll if my dad was in this relationship then you're probably right. But he's not, I am. And I chose you Nick. I don't want some perfect, boring, straight and narrow life. I want excitement, passion, craziness, messiness..." Her voice faded away. They were both breathing a little heavier than usual and looked each other in an earnest gaze.
Jess didn't have time to think before Nick enveloped her in a passionate embrace. His arms encircled her waist and picked her slightly off the ground as she clung to his neck. His kisses made her mind fuzzy and she forgot they were in a parking lot at 4am; they were floating together on a cloud, the sun shining, time stopping... His arms loosened a little and he began to cover her face with feathery butterfly kisses, in between each kiss he said breathlessly, "I'm sorry." Jess sank into him, letting him take her body weight. His kisses had a hypnotic effect on her.
"Get a room!" Across the parking lot a drunken voice broke the spell and they pulled apart a little, arms still around each other. They both erupted in peals of laughter.
"Man, I like making up with you," she flashed Nick a wicked smile.
"We'll there's more where that came from," he reciprocated her smile. He took a breath and summoned up some courage, "About what I said at the bar earlier-" his voice trailed off.
"Nick, I know, you were drunk-"
"No, I mean yes. I mean no," he searched for the right words, "I mean I was a little drunk but that's not why I said what I said." He looked at her earnestly. "Seeing you with Sam and thinking I was going to lose you made me realise I can't lose you. I care about you so much; I want to be with you, see you wake up in the morning, have you be the last face I see before I fall asleep. I want to kiss you, hold you... Make love to you," Jess's heart began to race at Nick's honesty. This was the first time he had ever really talked about his feelings with her, it was a watershed moment. It was also scary as hell. He moved his hands to the sides of her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb, "Jessica, you mean so much to me. I know it's too early to say this but to the hell with it. I love you."
Her racing heart skipped a beat as she digested those three powerful words. He loves me. He LOVES me. This was serious. How had they got to here? This thing, this connection, this love had snuck up on her, took her by surprise. At that moment she realised something. She wanted him just as badly. She didn't need him. He wasn't there to look after her, control her or support her financially. They were equals. Friends with all the rewards.
A look of concentration had came over her face as Nick breathlessly awaited her response. He knew it was far too soon to use the L word, but in what way had their relationship been conventional up to this point? They had broken so many rules already in those few short weeks. "Nick," she began, "I think I'm in love with you too," her voice pitched up towards the end her brow furrowed as her eyes searched his. He could not believe what he was hearing. The feeling of inadequacy in his gut squirmed and he matched her furrowed brow. "Well say something!" She finally demanded.
"I, I..." His voice trailed off. Suddenly, he picketed her up by the waist and spun her around and around until she was dizzy. He stopped and the earth kept spinning. "I love you Jessica Day," he said, saying it as though he were trying something new, "Wow, that feels weird."
"Weird but good," Jessica replied as she pulled his lips towards her own.