If it's cool with you, I'm calling Mama Wolowitz 'Beulah'. It's a Hebrew name meaning 'married' which is ironic, so it has a neat meaning.

He had woken up to beeping sounds and inordinately bright light. He wondered for quite some time where he was, until he saw a nurse and remembered the events of the night before. Oh, God. He really was an idiot when he was drunk. He'd always thought Bernadette exaggerated, but clearly she hadn't been. He also had a terrible hangover. He tried to raise his left arm, so he could try and massage the tension in his head away, but it felt strange. Confined. Looking down, he saw the sling and remembered the injury he'd managed to sustain. While wondering how he was going to explain this at work, he was taken by surprise when a nurse popped up by his side.

She tisk-tisked at him. "This is why you should never drink and drive."

"I know." He cleared his throat. His neck felt sore. It would be just his luck if he'd gotten whiplash. "I can go home today, right?"

"Yes, but you should call someone to pick you up. Your wife perhaps?"

"How did you know I'm married?"

"You're wearing a wedding ring." She explained, pointing at his right hand. She smiled sympathetically and bustled off to see another patient.

Great. Not only was he an idiot when he was drunk, but he was an idiot when hungover too. What had he even been drinking last night?

It seemed barely a minute later, he was out of the hospital, clutching his now useless car keys and staring at a name in his contacts list on his cell phone.

Mom.

He'd promised Goldstein that he would try to tell her. And this was the best opportunity that he could see. He pressed down and within thirty seconds he was hearing her dulcet tones for the first time in what seemed like years.

"WHERE ARE YA?" She wanted to know. She'd regaled him with how good it was to hear from him, she'd told him about Phyllis's neck opening again and the fact that she wasn't doing anything today. It really was the best opportunity.

"I'm at the hospital." He quietly admitted, wishing he'd made better choices last night.

"HOSPITAL? WHY? IS BERNADETTE PREGNANT?"

"No." What was wrong with him? His eyes were leaking.

"HOWIE, WHAT'S THE MATTEH?"

How was it that she always knew when something was wrong? He tried to steady his voice before confiding to her just what had happened. "I was in a car accident, Mom."

"WHAT? ARE YOU OK? IS SHE OK?"

"Bernie's fine, Ma. Um, can you pick me up, please? There's something I have to tell you."

"SURE."

There was no way out this time. No way out at all...

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"Have you heard from Howard?" Amy asked. She'd decided to visit Sheldon at work and he'd surprised her by inviting her to lunch in the cafeteria.

Raj shook his head and took a subtle sip from his alcohol flask.

She sighed and stabbed at a lettuce leaf on her plate. Then something caught her eye. Looking up, she smiled.

"Look, Penny's here!"

"What is this? Visit Your Boyfriend At Work Day?" Sheldon wondered aloud.

Leonard pulled out a chair for Penny before sitting down himself. "Hey, guys."

Sheldon watched in fascinated curiosity as Leonard tipped some of his own soda into a cup and handed it to Penny. Penny smiled (he thought) and took a sip. Was this how boyfriends and girlfriends showed affection to each other? He glanced at Amy. Perhaps it would be a good idea to do the same to see if she reacted positively as Penny had. He poured some of his lemonade into his cup and handed the can to his beverage-less girlfriend. She blinked at him in confusion.

"Sheldon, why..."

"I'm given to understand that it is a good thing to offer your girlfirned things such as beverages or the crispy fries you get at the bottom of the box."

"Why didn't you just give her the cup?" Raj asked.

"I prefer the cup. Whenever you drink the can, there's a chance you might cut yourself on the sharp tab." Sheldon explained

"Want to swap?" Leonard asked Penny.

Amy was trying not to smile. "Thank you, Sheldon."

"That's alright. Just try not to lick the tab."

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Beulah looked over and felt her heart sink as she saw the miserable expression on her only child's face. She reached out and cupped his hand with her own. He wriggled his fingers around so he was holding her hand. She nearly smiled. It was what he'd done as a child, whenever he was afraid or tired. She wondered which he was.

In no time, it seemed, they were sitting on the couch, him holding onto her tightly, his face buried into her shoulder. She knew right then, that something was very, badly wrong. Oh, he'd kiss her, but he was not the snuggling-up-with-Mom kind of guy. No, it took something huge, like being told the girl he loved didn't want babies, to warrant this. Eventually, he dis-attached himself.

"What's the matteh?"

He looked at her, then looked away. "Mom..."

"Yes?"

He couldn't do it. How could her? He tried desperately, to think of a way, but his mind failed him. He wasn't aware he was playing with the sleeve of his sweater, until his mother's face went from concerned to horrified.

"Howard! What happened to your arm?"

She knew he'd broken his right arm, but she was taken aback by the deep bloody line etched into her son's arm.

"HAVE YOU BEEN CUTTING?"

"No! Of course not."

She pulled up the rest of the sleeve and then noticed the bruising he had on his abdomen where the bottom of the sweater had pulled itself up.

"What happened?" She gasped, surveying the damage with horror.

He instinctively started playing with his wedding ring. His body language was being really revealing today. She figured it out in a flash.

"Did Bernadette do this to you?"

"Yes."

She was overwhelmed. Anger, sadness, horror, pity, empathy...all flew through her, battling to be the dominant emotion.

"Oh, baby." She murmured. She pulled him back into her arms, wishing she could make the hurt go away.

"Are you ashamed?" Howard asked, nervously.

"Of course I'm not! I've been there too, you know."

"I know, but Dad was a man and you're a woman."

She snorted."Some man! A real man never raises his hand to a loved one. He certainly doesn't lash out on an innocent child."

"Ma, did you love Dad?" He'd always assumed she had, but for some reason, he didn't feel so sure now.

"I did. Then he turned out to be a humongous jackass. Honey, unless you raised your hand first or you've both joined a wrestling club, there is nothing you did or ever can do to deserve this."

"I know. That's what everyone keeps telling me."

"Everyone? How long has this been going on?"

"A month and a half."

"Why didn't you tell me first thing?"

"I didn't want you to be upset or ashamed. And it seemed so scary to admit it to you."

"To be honest, I'm more upset with her than you."

"I love her, Ma. I don't want to lose her. And I know she's sorry. She just...can't help it."

"Does she try to help it?"

"I don't know. I think somewhere in her mind, she's thinking 'Don't do it!' but it happens."

"Well, are you having counselling?"

"Kinda. Leonard's mom tried to help."

"What happened?"

"She said she thought I'm taking the beatings to prove myself to be a man."

"Are you?"

"I don't think I am. I hate it when she's mad. It's terrifying."

"I see. Were you really in a car accident or did she do it as well?

"Um...well, um. I kinda got drunk and drove..."

To say his mother was not impressed with this revelation would be an understatement. For 21 minutes he endured lecture on how he could have died, he could have been blown up, he could have been arrested... He knew for a fact she still felt for him, but he also knew she was never going to let him off on drink-driving.

She did help him through his hangover, though. It had died down since he'd woken up that morning, but his head was pulsing thanks to the scolding he'd just received. She made him a gallon of black coffee and got him to lie down in his old bedroom and placed a cool, damp cloth on his head and shut the curtains. He felt like a vampire, but was too tired to complain. He was never drinking again.

"I love you, bubbala."

"Love you too, Mom."

So, I know as of the end of the sixth season, Raj can talk to girls without downing the good bad-tasting stuff. I'm sorry, I wrote this before that revelation came up. ONLY 24 DAYS UNTIL SEASON SEVEN! If you hear spoilers, tell me ASAP, please? Yes, the conversation between Howard and Mama Wolowitz was all over the place, but my brain is going kerplut, so you'll have to forgive me. Hey, I was having a conversation with 5Mississipis before I left to Paradise and I ask you: Do you think we'll see Mr. Wolowitz ( and not the cute one) in season seven? I mean, think about it, we've seen all of the other's parents and we've had, at best, a glimpse of Mrs. Wolowitz. I love it that they're keeping her a mystery, it's amazing they've managed it all these years, but it'd be cool if we saw him wouldn't it? It'd be like that episode of Fresh Prince Of Bel Air! Anyhoo, my spine is aching, so I must bid you adieu. Reviews are free!

Love from Shania. xx