Note: Hi People! (Or Aliens) Here is the next chapter of this incredibly stupid story. If this isn´t funny enough check out my Batman story called Unexpected Experiences. Believe THAT is funny. Now let´s get into the story. ENJOY!
Chapter 10: Friends with Lily, James and Harry Potter
Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatth efuck
This is the last thing I needed. Tom started to look around him. He found out that the room was quite nice but a little… muggle ish. How the hell did this happen? Is this another universe?
Tom did not notice the witch in his arms slowly opening her eyes. Oh he is awake, like always. Though…what´s going on? He does not seem relaxed, definitely something´s not right.
"Tom? What´s happened?" Her voice stopped the train of his thoughts and he looked at her, worried about what would be her reactions if she found out in what…situation she was in.
"Everything. Hermione dear, I don´t think you know what is going on."
"What?" Hermione tried to sit but hardly, as if she didn´t have enough energy. For goodness sakes, I am only seventeen and I already feel old. Great. Tom watched with terror as Hermione couldn´t sit. Great Salazar Slytherin, give me enough power to handle this.
Huh? Hermione's eyes widened in surprise as she caressed her belly. Her eyes slowly trailed in there only to surprise her even more.
I…I…I…
"HOW?!" Hermione yelled at Tom and demanded an answer right NOW.
¿¡How the bloody hell did I get pregnant!?
"Look Hermione, we have to calm down."
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN WHEN I AM FREAKING PREGNANT WITH A CHILD! Oh my god! What if it´s not yours! What if…Waaaait a second, where are we?" Hermione finally started to analyze the room.
"I have no idea. You know what´s the worst?"
"What?"
"I can´t transform into Voldemort!"
"What?!" Hermione stared at him, not believing her eyes. How did all of this happen? Ok, you are in big trouble Riddle, you are in BIG trouble.
"I don´t know how we got here neither how you…umm…got pregnant but I think it is my baby."
"So we have done it."
"Done what?" …oh uh… He knows perfectly what I am talking about!
"Tom you know what people do in order to have a baby and we have been talking about it lately."
"Yeah," Tom admitted, blushing. What is this woman doing to me?
"Well then, let´s check out the house."
"Good idea. "
When the finished the little tour, they were dumbstruck. It was a small house but still, a very beautiful one. The kitchen was quite small and the living room too. Their bedroom was the biggest room in the house. Although the bathroom wasn´t that small. They had found boxes with their papers, ID, passports and stuff. The most surprising thing was about to come.
"Hermione, were the hell are we?"
"I don´t know, Tom, I don´t know."
Hermione slowly opened the box to find lots and lots of papers. They still hadn´t noticed they had different pajamas.
"Well then I´ll read." Hermione said as she opened the first folder.
…
Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr.
Born: 31. December 1984, Wool´s Orphanage, London, England
Sex: M
ID number: 0089456MUU
Address: Godric´s Hollow 24
Blood status: Half-Blood
Parents:
Tom Riddle Sr. 1960-
Merope Riddle neé Gaunt 1962-
Hermione Jean Riddle neé Grindelwald
Born: 25. October 1986, Hospital of Copenhagen, Copenhagen, Denmark
Sex: F
ID number: 0095723MDA
Address: Godric's Hollow 24
Blood Status: Pureblood
Parents:
Gellert Grindelwald 1958-
Elaine Grindelwald neé Dumbledore 1965-
…
Hermione and Tom stared at themselves for a moment with utter shock.
Dumbledore? Grindelwald? What the Fuck? Dad, I mean, that fool is alive? How? And her? A Pureblood? In which year are we, exactly?
Our Parents are alive? And…I am the daughter of Grindelwald? But…if we live in Godric's Hollow, Voldemort never existed so…Bloody Hell what if…no…that´s impossible.
…
DURMSTRANG INSTITUTE
This Certifies That
TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE Jr.
Has satisfactorily completed the requirements of the Durmstrang Institute in Norway.
Astronomy: 98% DADA: 100% History of Magic: 99% Transfiguration: 100%
Charms: 100% Herbology: 100% Potions: 100% Study of ancient runes: 100%
Apparition: 100% Advanced Arithmacy Studies: 100% Music: 100%
Headmasters Note: Tom Riddle is by far the best student Durmstrang Institute has ever seen since Gellert Grindelwald. We are very proud of having him as our student and as our Triwizard Tournament Champion. We are not surprised that Mr. Riddle has fallen for the student of the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic, Hermione Jean Grindelwald. We wish him the best of luck in his bright future.
This DIPLOMA was given of June, 2001
…
"Tom, you have gone to Durmstrang! And you are the winner of the Triwizard Tournament!"
"Yes…." Well at least I have good grades, and why the hell did I participate? His DIPLOMA is so…incredibly good, and…wait we met during our studies? How?
"Hermione dear, I do have an excellent diploma but please let´s move on, we have to discover more about us. Since we are in another…place AND time.
"OK! My turn!"
…
Beauxbatons Academy of Magic
This certifies that
Hermione Jean Grindelwald
Has satisfactorily completed the requirements of the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic in France.
Astronomy: 100% Herbology: 96% Transfiguration: 100% Apparition: 98%
Charms: 98% History of Magic: 99% Alchemy: 98% Magical Theory: 100%
DADA: 100% Potions: 100% Muggle Studies: 99% Art: 95%
Headmistress Note: Hermione is a very talented young witch, willing to do anything for her studies. She is, one of the best students Beauxbatons Academy of Magic has had the honor to teach. It has been a pleasure to have her as one of my students. Though during the Triwizard Tournament she pleasantly surprised us with the news that her and The Champion of the Durmstrang institute were in a relationship. I and my colleges know she will have a very successful future alongside her 'soon-to-be-husband' Riddle.
This DIPLOMA was given of June, 2003
…
Hermione while reading this burst into tears of joy. Such a nice woman. WOW
"Well, she had to be a woman. Look how many things she wrote!"
"OH but shut up, Tom!" She laughed while putting away the tears and punching Tom playfully in the shoulder.
"Ouch! That hurt!"
"Shut up."
She opened the other folder and took other papers.
…
Mr. Riddle,
I am honored to announce to you that Hogwarts Professors and the Ministry of Magic has chosen you to be the next Professor of Defense against the Dark arts at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. We expect you to be at Hogwarts the 1st of September to plan how you are going to teach or if you need any help from your colleges or me. We have discussed the matter about you staying at your house during night hours with your wife at Godric's Hollow and you are allowed to do so, except if you are supposed to patrol the halls. We all look forward to meet you again, Mr. Riddle.
Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,
Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
…
"T-Tom?"
"…"
"Tom?"
"Hmm."
"You- You are a teacher."
"Yes."
"At Hogwarts!"
"Yes, I am!"
"My goodness! I am so happy for you!" Hermione hugged him tightly. I am so proud of him. Is this a dream? I hope not.
"Tom this is like a dream…"
"Come true, I know!" Hermione watched, as one single tear fell from Tom´s eye. It surprised her to see him crying.
"If this could go on forever,"
"Even though this is not the truth." They locked eyes with each other.
"Tom, I am very proud of you."
"I love you."
Hermione holded her breath as he finished that sentence.
Had he? Did he? Oh to hell with it.
"I love you too. C´mon we have to keep on reading, it is all too very surprising."
"You´re right." Why do am I so…in love with her? Great, now I´m turning into one of those hopeless romantics, uh.
"Though I wonder how old I am." Hermione said before reading.
"Twenty?"
"Maybe."
…
Certificate of Marriage
This Certifies that
Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr. and Hermione Jean Grindelwald
Were united in soul bound and magical marriage on this day
the 15th of December in the years 2005
The Ceremony was witnessed and celebrated by
The Grindelwald family
The Dumbledore family
And
The Riddle Family.
Professor Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
The name of the person solemnizing marriage
…
Hermione stared at Tom, so did her. Things in this place were very, very, very, very strange. Well, we are married. What in the name of Slytherin is going on in here?
…
Dear Mrs. Riddle,
The St. Ann's Hospital confirms that
Hermione Jean Riddle
Was positive in the pregnancy test that was taken the 28th of March 2007.
Regards,
Dr. Timothy Smith
…
We are in year 2007? What could have happened during all of the years I haven´t been around? What if there´s the Third World War happening outside these walls!
2007, what a coincidence, I must be like, 24 years old perhaps? And Hermione…21!? Isn´t she too young for a baby? We married so young?
"Well, I am definitely pregnant with your child." Hermione stated.
"Yup."
DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG
What? Who might that be? Who dares to disturb us?! Hermione found her wand quickly and charmed her robes into a dress, and tied her hair when she was going downstairs. She opened the door.
Oh my…
There was a woman with dark red hair and hazel green eyes, smiling at her with a little box.
Oh my god.
Beside her there was a man with glasses, messy black hair, and a dashing smirk on his face.
OH MY GOD.
When Hermione looked down, she saw a little boy standing there. The same green eyes of the woman, and the same black messy hair. She felt Tom stand behind her, completely dressed. The Boy's mouth was now agape and his eyes that were full of admiration directed towards Tom.
OH MY GOD! What´s going on?
The woman began to speak.
"Hello! You must be our new neighbors! The famous Hermione Grindelwald and her famous husband! Tom Marvolo Riddle! My name is Lily Potter, this is my husband James Potter and this little guy over here is Harry, our son.
OH MY FUCKING GOD! Ok, what the fuck?
"Oh H-Hello." Hermione extended her hand. "It is a pleasure to meet you." She was surprised, shocked, confused, is this happening? She was now talking with Harry´s parents!
"Oh no my lady." For the first time in history, Hermione heard the voice of Harry´s parents. They are so alike. "We have met before. You see I was the Champion of Hogwarts. But it is normal that you don´t remember me, since you couldn't keep your hands off each other." He winked at them, Hermione could feel her husband tighten his grip on her waist. Wait, since when did he have his arm around MY waist?
"Yes, that´s true." Tom spoke, not with much enthusiasm but still it was his usual sensual voice. He seemed to be completely aware of him talking to the people he had killed, but he acted like they had just met, truly a superb actor. Hermione's blood boiled as she saw the looks Lily was throwing HER husband. Maybe she had James but still, Tom was from the irresistible league of guys.
"Please come in!" Hermione broke the awkward silence. What? Is she insane? Why is she inviting THE Potters? Has she forgotten she is THE DARK lady, not the Light Queen or whatever? I really hope Tom hasn´t freaked out.
"Can we Hermy? Can we Tommy?" Harry asked with his soft voice. It took them by surprise. So cute. …
"You can, please follow me into the living room. Hermione?"
"Y-Yes Tom?" Hermione couldn't think, speak nor breathe. It was all going far too quickly. How is it that Tom himself had approved them?
"Come here! Don't be shy! We are going to have a friendly talk with them!"
"Yeah!" James continued with Tom's 'joke'. "We don't bite!"
"Oh all right then." She went along with her husband and the Potter to the small living room. The quietly sat when James started a conversation.
"Mr. Riddle, I and my son, Harry are big fans of you and, well, I was wondering if… you could sign us your biography book!" Hermione saw as Tom's eyes widened and he nodded curtly. I want to be Voldemort again, FAST. Tom's biography book?
James and Harry looked at themselves with a glint of joy in their eyes and James quickly made a book appear in front of Tom. He silently read.
"Tom Riddle: The Man Behind The Camera" What the bloody hell? Mwuahahaha! Is that Tom? What a nice cover photo! Tough the title is so…Mwuahahaha! Hahaha!
Tom charmed a pen from the thin air making everyone stare at him with admiration, and he firmed the first page of the book, with his elegant letters. He put on a smile WHY THE HELL IS HE SMILING? SINCE WHEN? And handed the book to Harry, who was now jumping up at down from happiness.
"Mama! Papa! Look! I have an autograph from Tommy Riddle! So Cool!" Tom watched as the three of them hugged, James giving him a thankful glance. Isn't Potter supposed to hate me?Hermione did not find the words to explain what had happened seconds ago. Tom had made Harry a very happy boy.
I beg you Lord! Please! I don't want this to be a dream!
"Thank you, Mr. Riddle, you have no idea how much this means to me and Harry."
"Please, call me Tom." Tom´s voice had drastically changed from bored to extremely cheerful. What the-
"Oh Tom and Mrs. Riddle! I am a big fan of your work together on the Dark Arts! The book: The Dark Arts- a different kind of magic is thrilling! I am on the 25. Chapter and all I can say that I truly admire the way you two have managed to reveal the secrets of the Dark Arts and how truly amazing they are. If you wouldn´t mind." She took out a very thick book with the name and down there were written their names. Tom and Hermione gleefully signed the book and handed it back to Lily.
"Here you are!" Hermione said.
"Thank you so much!" Lily said smiling, taking out a bigger object. A magical camera! Does she want to take a photo with us? Oh no, please not.
"Would you mind if we took a photo with you?"
"No, of course we can!"
"All right then!" James placed the photograph in front of Tom and Hermione and putting on it this system so in ten seconds it would take a magical photo.
James and Lily with Harry somehow sat on the small sofa with them.
"So let´s just act natural and don't forget to smile at the camera! You too Harry!"
"Ok Dad!"
30 minutes later.
"Thank you for the visit!" Hermione yelled as the Potter went to their house.
"You're welcome! Feel free to come by any time!" James shouted back and they disappeared from her sight.
"Now that wasn't that bad, was it?" Hermione asked Tom was sitting on the safe and scanning the photo as of it was toxic. Tom had made a copy of it so both of the families would have it.
"Not at all. "
"Admit it! You like them!"
"All right I do!" He smiled at her and looked back at the photo. Harry was smiling looking everywhere, Lily and James were acting like lovebirds, Tom was smirking and playing with Harry's hair. Hermione was smiling widely, holding Tom's hand and sharing glances with Lily, James, and of course Tom.
They had brought a box of chocolate, which they had eaten while speaking. Tom and James talked about politics and joked a bit while Lily and Hermione played games with Harry. It was one of the most beautiful Mornings Hermione has ever had, Tom could say the same.
"Isn't as bad as I thought it would be."
IN THE NEXT CHAPTER
"Alles Da Da Da Da"
"My favorite daughter!"
"Hello son, long time no see."
"You were so cute."
"I have something important to tell you."
"OH MY GOD!"
TO BE CONTINUED