Recurring Nightmares
Bliss. Such sweet relieving bliss that he could hardly wrap his head around it.
It must be impossible to be this happy, to feel this fulfilled. If he wasn't in heaven then there was no other explanation. Nothing else could compare to the satisfaction he felt. He wanted to cry, but from uncontrollable joy this time.
He could die right now, he could pass away and not give the smallest damn in the world.
He was just so... so fucking happy.
A content sigh escaped him, and with a start he realized he must be awake, though he couldn't for the life of him remember falling asleep.
His eyes fluttered open, and he was more than aware of the calm smile he wore. Light flooded the room and his heart soared when he saw his kitchen. His old kitchen, the spacious ones with a million cuboards that you didn't have to cram everything into, the giant island that Neji was always making something delicious smelling on, The big patio doors that led to the deck out back and the front door just diagnal across the room from it.
It.. it was all a terrible nightmare! The apartment, Neji leaving, Hidan being alive. It never happened, it couldn't have, how else would he feel so happy?
He wanted to scream from the amazing tightness in his chest, he wanted to skip and sing and hug every item in the house and thank it personally for not ceasing to exist. The air itself was electric with his homecoming and he felt a tear of pure relief slip down his cheek.
He had to find Neji, he had to find him and hug him and kiss him into oblivion. He would take him out to the most expensive restauraunt he could find and get him a lifetime free pass to a spa and buy him whatever he wanted until he was absolutly swimming in debt.
He didn't care! He couldn't care! He was back home and everything was back to how it should be and Hidan and Itachi and the Akatsuki never even existed.
The whole entire thing was a fabrication of his terriblely evil but brilliant mind.
Oh fuck you brain, fuck you but thank you and I love you.
"Neji!" His he called out, vaulting over the island and nearly crashing into the small portion of wall that seperated the kitchen and livingroom that Neji always whined about 'ruining the open concept'.
He only laughed as he caught himself and sprinted through the hall down to the bedroom. He kicked open the door and would have been embarrased at the whining squeal he made if he wasn't so overcome with such beautiful raw joy.
There he was! Standing there looking out the window. His long beautiful hair was in it's crazy ponytail down by the ends, he was dressed in casual clothes, and damn his ass looked as sexy as ever.
"Neji..." He sighed gently, but his lover didn't turn around. He continued staring silently out the window. It was the same window they always stared out those two years ago... No.. none of that had happened. He knew deep in the pit of his stomache that this could not possibley be a dream.
"I missed you so much..." Tears ran down his face as he stepped toward the brunette miracle in front of him, arms outstretched and ready for an embrace.
Several things suddenly happened, faster than Shikamaru could comprehend.
One, the house around him began to ooze and melt as if made of wax. It was a slow process, and really it was one of the last things he noticed.
The first of which was Neji whirling around, his face looked like that of a broken china doll who's eyes had fallen out.
"We're broken Shikamaru!" the Neji-doll wailed in a voice that was like ten Neji's combined, each with a different pitch.
His body jerked as it moved forward and Shikamaru was too scared to move or scream. As this was happening his body suddenly burst into a roaring pain that could only be compared to being set on fire. Just under his range of vision he could almost feel the flames licking at him, and somehow he knew without looking that he was standing within a symbol of Jashin set ablaze.
He could not move his feet, he could not release the muscles in his throat to scream, he couldn't escape the house melting around him, he couldn't run away from the zombie Neji.
"Look at me Shika! I thought you loved me!" The monster shreiked, lurching closer with agonizingly slow steps.
"How could you do this to me!? Shikamaru! SHIKAMARU!"
He stared open mouthed, paralyzed in his fear and confusuion. How could he have possibley done this? How could this be his fault?!
"You left." He finally choked out, And as he looked down at the fire, he suddenly felt a presence behind him. He did not know for sure who it was, but there was only one name that rang through his head.
"I did everything I could for you." He said slowly, strength slowly filtering into his body as he felt that continued presence, the fire of the circle underneath him seemed to only flare up more, but the pain was dying away.
"I am sick of hearing that. " He took a deep breath, trying to control himself as his fear turning to raging anger.
It was not his fault. He was not blaming himself anymore. He could not get better with Neji constantly throwing these insults at him, mudding up his mind.
"I loved you. I loved you more than anything. I gave up EVERYTHING to get you away from that place. I poured my soul into making sure you knew how much I loved you."
"YOU BROKE ME SHIKAMARU! You've broken me again! How could you do it? I thought you loved me but you went and did it again!" The beast squealed, peices of the porceilan face breaking off and falling to the melting ground.
He stood his ground, gritting his teeth and ignoring the pain it's words brought. He closed his eyes to take a breath.
"You're the one who left." He said quietly, "You are the one who left me. I saved you. Asuma died, Hidan died, but you stayed alive. You stayed alive because of me. "
His voice rose as he continued, and the slow steps of the nightmaric Neji-creature in front of him ceased as he leaned forward to glare.
"YOU left. YOU did this. I won't let you torture me." He paused, realization slamming into him and only increasing his flow of power.
"And you're not even real. You can't hurt me. Not anymore. " He retracted his arm, closing it around the object manifesting itself into his hand and he swung, watching in slow-motion as a triple bladed scythe came into view and slammed into the Neji-monster.
It shattered like glass and he felt a sharp stinging on his face suddenly.
"Pineapple head." A quiet voice echoed. Shikamaru paused, Hidan? That was his voice, why did he sound so far away. Why did he want to find him so desperatly?
He looked down to the weapon in his hands. And then the pile of china-doll Neji of the floor. Then he whirled around, Someone had been behind him. He knew who it was, but now they were gone and he couldn't remember...
"Hey dipshit!"
There was Hidan's voice again, louder, and Shikamaru's head jerked to the right as his opposite cheek now stung.
The melting house began to fade to black around him. What the hell was going on!?
"I SAAAIID, wake the fuck up!"
Shikamaru's eyes opened up to a pair of violet ones glaring back.
"SHIT!" He shouted, pushing him away. Then he shouted again as his entire body complained of the movement. He slapped his hand to his forehead as the world spun and he heard an obnoxious laugh.
"You're so adorable right now pineapple head, seriously." He heard Hidan say behind closed lids.
"Oh... damnn." He moaned, trying his hardest to sit up and not whimper like a newborn pup.
Wait a second, why was he on the floor? And why...HOLY SHIT!
He didn't even try to contain the humiliating yelp that emitted as he grabbed the random sheets on the ground and threw them over himself.
"HIDAN!" He both whined and growled. "Get the hell out! I'm fucking naked you goddamn psycho perve!"
Hidan burst into another fit of laughter, doubling over almost.
"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY?!" Shikamaru roared, trying to hurry himself to his feet but only able to move at the torturous pace of a sloth from the severe dull ache reverberating from every inch of his being.
"Oh Jashin, it's like dejávu!" The priest cackled before straightening up and leaning his head back to help catch his breath. After a few excruciating moments Shikamaru was on his feet and sprinting to the bedroom. Damn the pain, Hidan already had an eyeful.
Shit, what did he do last night?
And with that thought it all came slamming back to him. It was only hazy memories, as if he'd been drunk out of his mind and stoned and drugged on lcd all at the same time.
Oohhh God...
Owch! Motherfucker! Okayokay... Jashin.
What the hell? What was he thinking. Oh no... ooohno!ohno!ohno!
C'mon.. really? This wasn't even fair!
The strange serenity he felt while trying his damndest to have a meltdown was really pissing him off even more than the fact that he'd had sex with Hidan.
If there was ever a time to freakout, this was it. Every other time before this paled in comparison! But still he could only sigh and lean back against his closed bedroom door.
Why? Why didn't he... why didn't he regret it. His head knew better, it was still trying desperatly to convince him of what a horrible mistake he'd made. But his heart continued on beating at a monotonous, steady pace. He felt nothing but an eerie sense of peace. He could probably fall back asleep if not for that stupid nightmare.
Yes, the nightmare, possibley even more troubling than his predicament.
The tables have turned in his subconcious, it seemed. How could sweet, beautiful Neji strike fear in him? How could psychotic, unpredictable Hidan give him strength and confidence?
He was literally losing his mind. He was off the deep end, his marbles were gone and every other saying that goes with it.
No normal human being just went from mortal enemies to having sex in a matter of... like a week. He couldn't even remember how long it had been.
Not long enough.
Sure, he'd had slightly over half a year to get over Neji. It wasn't like he'd been in bed with someone else after a week.
But him? REALLY?
"Hhoooooooh my fucking God this is a draaaaaaag.." he groaned, running his hand over his face.
Quickly, he jerked it away. Fuck, it was covered in dried blood.
He looked down at himself, throwing away the sheets now that he remembered what they were.
FUUCK! He was caked in blood.
"Son of a bitch." He muttered, sliding down the door until he was sitting. "Son of a dirty goddamned bitch."
"Quit moping and take a fuckin' shower!" Hidan shouted, most likely in the livingroom. "Dirty bitch."
Shikamaru just grimaced. Did he really have no shame at all? Did he really not realize how much this complicated things?
How could he be so... so Hidan right now! Damn! He didn't even know if they'd at least cuddled afterward!
Wait, would that make the situation worse or better?
WHY WAS HE EVEN THINKING ABOUT THIS!?
He sighed. What did one do in these situations. Maybe he should ask online. Hah! That would be entertaining, at the least.
Okay, really though...Neji...Neji was gone. If he were going to change his mind, he would be back by now. It's not as if he'd done him wrong...Except for sleeping with and possibley developing feelings for the man who'd ruined his ability to live a normal life, the man whom the Hyuga hated more than anything.
Shika let his face fall into his hands.
This was a giant mess. It just kept getting messier.
Jesus, he hadn't screwed up in nearly two years, not counting Neji leaving, and he just counted that as a continuation of that first disaster.
"This is not my fault. This can't possibley be my fault." He muttered so quietly he almost didn't hear it himself. He was fighting supernatural forces here, he was waaaay out of his league. There was no way to use Jashin's power for his own means, unless he changed those means to what Jashin wanted.
Then he'd be nothing but another Hidan. And he didn't want to be alive to see what would happen to the world if there were two psycho Jashinist priests running amuck.
Alright Shikamaru. He said, forcing himself slowly back to his feet. The pain was already receding, thanks to his stupid cult. Baby steps. Take a shower, eat something. And maybe Hidan would be up for some sparring. He could beat the shit out of him and not piss anyone off.
...Well... everything pisses the crazy albino off... But still.
He carefully opened the door, peeking out and hating himself for acting like some shy teenage girl. He couldn't help it though, every time he tried to convince himself to just walk casually to the bathroom, random, foggy memories of last night popped into his head.
Hidan's breath on his neck, his teeth sinking into his flesh, his raw, hungry voice, how fucking unexplainabley amazing it felt when that pain turned to pleasure.
He shook his head violently and slammed his palm to his forehead repeatedly. Don't even think about thinking about it! He had to get this disgusting mix of body fluids off him, even the notion of half of them being Hidan's made him want to throw up... and roll around in them at the same time.
Fucking hell he needed therapy.
"Hidan, go burn these sheets while I'm in the shower kay?"
Silence.
Did he leave?
Oh please let him be gone, let him at least have that much sensibility to realize how awkward it would be for him to be here.
"Is that an order?" His voice finally called back just when Shikamaru was about to relax.
Damn, well at least he could get rid of him for a few moments.
"Yes. I order you to go burn these sheets to a crisp. All three of them." He paused for a second, listening for the sounds of Hidan shifting to do as he said.
"I don't think you're in any position to give me any fucking orders, considering the positions you were in last night."
Goddamn it, that was it. He was definitley going to knock his fucking head off.
"Dammit Hidan just do it and give me a little fucking privacy to clear my head." He growled, finally just pushing the door open and storming into the bathroom.
But when he turned around to shut the door the albino was suddenly there, shoving it back open. Shikamaru only had time to gasp before Hidan was chest to chest with him and had a green fingernailed finger over his lips. He was looking down at him, seeing as the Nara was an inch or two shorter, and a shiver ran down his spine.
"Don't try to forget." Hidan said, his voice smooth and soft. The abstract sound made Shika's heart twinge, and Hidan, almost as if sensing it, smirked.
"The first blood-high is the best. Every other one following it is weaker and weaker. No other feeling compares. I've tried every drug in existance, and it's never the same."
Shikamaru felt himself blushing as he remembered his total lack of clothes at these close quaters, goddamn it he was a man! Why couldn't he act like one?
"Don't push it away. Remember it, treasure it."
Wow...Hidan hadn't cussed through that whole speech, and he was speaking in a voice that was so foreign to his personality that it gave Shikamaru goosebumps. Hidan wasn't gentle, or caring. He was an insane, vulgar, loud idiot with a temper and personal space issues.
Then in a flash this stranger was gone and the normal zealous idiot was back in his eyes and grin.
"You're just fucking lucky I was here to show you a good time. Wasting the first high should be a sin. That's like losing your virginity to another virgin, fucking shitty."
Aaand they were right back into the awkwardness.
Shikamaru focused chakra in his hands enough to make them glow the usual purple/black and shoved Hidan from the bathroom. He winced when he heard the crack of the drywall, but slammed and locked the door regardless.
No, a locked door wouldn't do anything against the man if he really wanted in, but it comforted him none-the-less.
"HEY! THAT FUCKING HURT PINEAPPLE HEAD!"
Damn, he was gonna get kicked out of this place, what with people climbing in and out the window, the few spatters of blood on the carpet that soaked through the sheets, the constant yelling between himself and Hidan, and now a crack in the wall.
He started the water and pinched the bridge of his nose as he waited for it to warm.
He wasn't even going to make plans anymore. He would set a goal and hoped to all hell he would reach it without sacrificing anything important. Damn he hated beig unprepared, but at least this way he would be doing it on purpose, he wouldn't have to waste energy freaking out or getting angry.
This whole thing, the entire last few years of his life, was just a giant drag.
-o-
"Don't assume shit, Pineapple head." Hidan said, standing with his hip cocked and his scythe slung over his shoulders.
"Any more wisdom for me sensei?" Shikamaru replied sarcastically from a few yards away. He was stretching out his muscles, trying to control his sudden excitement at once again combating with Hidan. It was curious that he wasn't afraid of the hot-headed albino losing his temper and trying to kill him. But then again, the man had had plenty of chances to kill him if he'd still wanted to. In fact the zealot had actually gone out of his way to not only keep him alive but help him recover faster. Even if he tried to hide his reasoning behind Jashin, Shikamaru knew the truth, thanks to that random reunion with Itachi.
Oh crap, he wanted to talk to Hidan still. And that shameless idiot would probably tell him and the entire world what happened between them.
Fuuck, no! No one else could know until he could regain control of this situation. He had to make Hidan promise not to tell.
Shikamaru smiled to himself, sounded like a perfectly good bargain to make after he'd knocked the hell out of his 'slave'.
"You shithead! I mean don't think you know everything about how I fight, expect the unexpected..." Hidan swung the scythe to point it at him in what Shikamaru assumed was supposed to be a menacing way. It was hard to see the man as a threat anymore, it happens after beating them twice and a session of hankey-pankey.
"If you expect it then technically it's not unexpected..." The Nara drawled, silently activating his jutsu and capturing Hidan's lone shadow. The idiot, it was over before it began.
They had ended up on the roof of the complex, why was something Shikamaru was unsure of.
Hidan had returned after Shika had finished his shower and caught him off guard, again. He'd grabbed Shikamaru and pulled him close as if wanting a kiss, and while the spikey-haired man was doing his best to convince himself he didn't want it, Hidan had stolen the ponytail from his hair.
It wouldn't have been a big deal if Shikamaru hadn't gone to the bathroom to get another and discovered them all missing. Apparently Hidan really, really liked him with his hair down.
Damn it, he was flirting with him in an annoying Hidan sort of way, and It was troublesome. After their little chat before his shower the two had been acting as if it was never to be mentioned again. And Shikamaru was fine with that, last time he'd tried to clear the air... well, you know.
So he figured he'd just ignore it.
Anywho, Hidan had of course disappeared out the window and Shikamaru took the stairs to the roof after almost stupidly running after him. He'd watched for only a second as Hidan worked his way up the vertical incline with the grace of a practiced gymnast. He leaped from one sill to the other, using his scythe to hook onto ledges and indentions above him and swing himself up, not once losing momentum.
Then he tore his eyes away and sprinted full-speed up the stairs. He knew chasing after the man was just what he wanted, though Shikamaru had no idea why. And he wasn't going to try to figure it out either, that would just be a waste of time and energy.
He'd finally burst through the door to be greeted by the most beautiful and least smoggy sunset he'd ever seen in the city. Usually the buildings had the light blocked out long before the sun actually set, but his complex was one of the taller structures on this corner portion of the city on the edge of the suburbs. Hidan was facing him, though all that could be seen was his sillouette, and Shikamaru paniced in his attempt to both memorize the moment and stop himself from being so struck by the beauty.
Dammit Hidan...
He broke himself from the mesmerizing moment and lunged at the ponytail theif. After a brief scuffle and Shikamaru managing to break Hidan's nose with a swing of his elbow, The priest agreed to have a training session with each other to work out some anger instead of storming off or all the other various things he did when upset.
After all, they were kind of like rivals.
Suddenly he felt the familiar presence behind him and leaped just in time to avoid having a scythe in his ribcage.
What the hell?
He turned to see the Hidan he captured poof away. A clone? Hidan could make clones? Since when!?
Hidan shrilled and continued coming at him, with Shikamaru just barely able to dodge.
Using his scythe like a pole-vault, Hidan was able to land a kick and send Shikamaru on a rolling collision with the ground.
He got his feet under him just before he would have gone sailing off the roof and skidded to a stop. But the zealot was relentless, still coming at him with a ferocity that made him wonder if this really was all in good fun.
Bah, of course it was. The desciple of the God of slaughter was just enjoying himself, letting loose.
At least he hoped so.
More excitement rushed his veins and he launched himself forward, running in an arc and pushing off at the last moment to flip over Hidan and land just as the priest swung in the wrong direction, leaving himself completly open to a barrage from Shika's shadow-hazed fists.
Hidan made a choking sound but didn't collapse as he'd done the first time. He was getting used to it, and it helped that Shikamaru didn't have lethal intent powering the attack.
His albino opponent clumsily swung his weapon as he tried to keep control of his body until the jutsu wore off. It was an easy dodge, and Shikamaru just stepped back before kneeing him in the stomache and slamming an elbow onto the nape of his neck.
Hidan fell limply to the ground, and Shikamaru was almost upset, that was it?
Suddenly his feet were above his head and a black pike was being held to his throat.
"I really fucking hate that attack." Hidan growled, firey violet eyes glaring into his, a little too close for comfort. Shikamaru could smell him, damn, he'd never noticed Hidans natural scent before. It was.. wonderful.
"Yeah, that's why I keep using it on you." Shikamaru replied, the smile he was wearing felt just a little strange on his face. He built chakra up within him to use the move that had finished Hidan off the last time they fought, but seeming to sense this, the silver hair jerked back. This gave Shika the room to kick upwards, catching the man in the chin and laying him out for only a millisecond before he was back on his feet, charging.
The thought of Hidan's using clones had him worked up, so he could use jutsu! What else could he do? Had he really been holding back, even when he'd almost been killed?
The two collided amidst a leap and Shikamaru maneuvered the stake from Hidan's hands and kicked him away.
His heart received a rush of adrenaline when Hidan went sailing off the edge of the building, and Shikamaru almost started to go make sure he wasn't dead when he was tackled from behind.
He saw stars briefly when his head smashed into the concrete and he cried out when his arm was twisted behind his back and yanked upward to the point where it was almost dislocated.
Some strange mixture of a laugh and a growl escape him as he used the weapon in his other hand, swinging backward and almost cackling with joy as he felt it pierce skin and heard the pained grunt. Then he shoved chakra into it and Hidan stiffened again, relaxing his grip involuntarily enough for Shikamaru to free himself and shove the man off him.
Shikamaru stood panting as he waited for his opponent to collect himself. His chest was almost burning with the want to stop holding back. This pinning and tackleing shit was getting annoying. They weren't kids in fucking school dammit.
His eyes seemed to move on their own, coming to a rest on the blood dripping from the tightly gripped pike in his hands, and the hair on his necks prickled as his mouth involuntarily stretched into a grin.
He was a Jashinist, he prayed, he had a blood-high... what if he could do the sacrificial ritual too.
Hidan finally straightened on his feet, cracking his neck. "This is bullshit, I have to actually try to kill you to do any fuckin' damage..." He said, hesitating when Shikamaru's eyes flicked up to meet violet. A whirlpool of emotions raged within them, and Shikamaru's heart started racing even faster as his arm raised the bloodied tip to his mouth without his order.
"Pineapple head..." Hidan warned, but he didn't stop, he couldn't stop. His body was moving on his own.
"Hey!" Hidan half-shouted. "Knock it off! You can't handle that shit yet!"
Shikamaru felt his eyes narrow, he knew he still needed to make a circle beneath him before he could even tell if it would work, but just the tone of the priests voice was enough of a giveaway.
He could do it, he could sacrifice Hidan right now! He could give his immortal soul to Jashin in place of his freedom from this nightmare of a religion! It would work out so perfectly, there was no way Hidan would escape that.
He heard a deranged sounding snicker and blanched when he realized the sound had come from him. And the burning sensation was now winding it's way through his whole body, like a super-concentrated dose of adrenaline.
He could feel his muscles twitching with the need to move, the desire to kill the man in front of him plumed through him. He held the end of the stake just a centimeter from his mouth, tilting his head in a challenge to Hidan.
The next thing he knew something heavy had rammed into him with such force that the weapon flew from his hand.
Suddenly he was falling, and a sharp sting made him blink before his eyes focused on Hidan, teeth gritted and glaring daggars at him.
"Wake the fuck up or you're gonna splat!" He snarled, but Shikamaru's body was moving on it's own again, twisting itself into a position where he would land on his feet.
He heard a harsh clattering and then cracking of concrete above him and knew somehow without looking that Hidan was now perched on his scythe on the side of the building like a gargoyle. He could sense him that well now.
Shikamaru was mildly put off by the fact that his fellow Jashinist had failed to help him, but then he remembered what Hidan said about Jashin hating those who couldn't fend for themselves.
Chakra poured into his feet and pooled there until he could almost feel it slosh around like water all the way up his legs. He knew he was smiling and it only made the desperation to stop himself from smashing into the ground grow.
What the hell was he doing? It was like he was fucking possessed, he only had brief moments of clarity and here the rest of the time he was so overcome with this strange feeling that he couldn't help but act like a psycho!
Cars came to a screeching halt, by-passers wobbbled on their feet before turning wide-eyed to the disturbance.
Like he was Superman, Shikamaru landed on the concrete, sending out a dark pulse as he did to soften the landing and using the chakra in his feet like a cushioning for his bones. The ground cratered under him and the deafening boom and simultaneous cracking of concrete had everyone down the entire block gaping at him in awe and fear both.
He looked breifly around him at the civilians through his bangs before straightening himself up and smoothing his hair back out of his face.
Something snapped him in the cheek then and with reflexes far to quick to be his own he caught it before it hit the ground. He stared at the tiny band in his hands before looking up to Hidan, who nodded down the street.
Shikamaru looked that was for only a second before turning back, not understanding what the man was trying to tell him, but there was nothing left but the damage the Jashinists scythe had caused on the wall.
He shrugged and quickly scooped up his hair into a ponytail and tried to make sense of the sudden distance he felt from himself. It could probably be explained away as the after effects of falling off a building that high and surviving without a scratch. He should probably feel lighter than air, stronger than steel, more powerful than a hurricane. But he didn't, only a meloncholy surreality. As if he were in a dream.
And coincidentally enough, a familiar voice sent ice crackling through his veins.
"Shikamaru...?"
He thought for a second as his heart refused to beat that he actually might be dreaming.
But he didn't dream of the city, he never dreamt of falling off ten story buildings, and when he did dream of falling he always woke up just before he hit the ground.
He turned around so slowly that it seemed to last for hours. He didn't want to see the face attached to that voice, he didn't want to beleive he was here, not after he'd finally, finally accepted that he wasn't coming back. It couldn't be happening.
Jashin please spare me. Give me a heart attack, strike me with lightning, rip my soul from my body! I don't care what you do to me just get me out of this situation!
Finally their eyes met, and the man took a reluctant step forward, his mouth hanging slightly open as if he wanted to ask a billion things all at once but couldn't find his voice.
Neji.
It was Neji. He was back. He was here... He was real.
"What... what happened to you?" Neji whispered, fear in his eyes. His gaze flicked up and down from the ground to Shikamaru's face to the top of the building.
What happened to me? Shikamaru's fist clenched, the distant feeling dissapearing and that need to hurt something flooding back through him. You want to know what happened to me?!
His heart pounded so loudly that he could almost hear it throbbing against his ribcage. He tried to keep taking slow, deep breaths, trying desperatly to control the uncharacteristic anger seeping into him.
"How...how did you do that? What were you doing up there?"
Neji. He was real, he was standing there, asking questions as if he had never left. As if he hadn't shattered Shika's heart into a million peices and then ground it to dust and swept it away.
How... how dare he. How dare he show his face. How dare he show up now when the Nara had just started healing.
"Kill him." A ghost whispered in his ear. "Give his soul to Jashin. Let him be judged before a God."
"Sh..shikamaru?" Neji said, voice hitching. "What's wrong with you?"
Hah! What's wrong with me? What the hell do you think is fucking wrong with me?
He could almost feel the fear radiate off Neji as he grinned and took a step forward.
A feeling of power rushed into him, obliterating his ability to think rationally. He focused chakra into his hand, creating a thin sharp haze to use like a blade.
A very small, almost molecular part of him tugged, trying to reason with himself. 'This is not you, you do not do things like this. You do not feel things like this, especially for Neji of all people.'
"Please say something, you're scaring me..."
"Kill him now!" The whisper comanded, and he couldn't help but do so.
Neji left him alone. It was his fault. It was all his fault he was like this. now! Shikamaru had tortured himself, taking all the blame for those six unbearably long months. But it wasn't his fault! He fixed everything. He did what he could, he gave everything.
This was Neji's doing.
Neji was the failure. Neji was the screw up. Neji had left and given Jashin the opening for his games. Neji had torn the hole in his heart that Hidan was forcing himself into. It was all him!
And Shikamaru could make him pay. And he would, right here, right now.
-o-
A/N- BAAHH! Sorry, lol. This feels short, is it short? I think it is, but seeing as my average chapter is 6000 words and the last THREE have been 8000, I'm gonna end here here at this beautiful little cliffhanger.
MUAHAHAHA!
So, as usuall, review and tell me what you think and whatnot. I'm gonna go sacrifice myself so i can get some god damn rest. I literally feel like I've been running around constantly without a break since... well probably since last Saturday. So like a week and a half.
But yea, thanks for reading, I love you all, forgive the typos and any slashes I missed, (I use those to remind myself to use italics since I can't do it with the writing app I use on my phone. But you've probably already figured that out.)and REVIEW!