AN: One again, thank you so much for the review/favs/follows! I'm so so sorry it took so long for an update, I had an idea for at his chapter and I was blocked, so eventually I just scrapped it and went in another direction.

That, life and the fact that this procedural stuff is kicking my ass, it took much longer for me to write this.

then the other day I was coping it over to the website from my notes and it deleted before I had the chance to press copy.

I tried everything to recover it, but the only thing that seemed to work would cost like 90$ and I was not spending that on recovering my mediocre fanfic writing. So unfortunately I had to rewrite the entire thing

Hopefully they come quicker from now on!

also, there are things I completely made up in this chapter about the city of Toronto, but I'm hoping you can just go with it.

"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - C.G. Jung

Marlo's on edge.

She's been working desk for the last 3 shifts and she can't handle it anymore, she needs to be out on the streets, needs to do something.

The clock, she can't handle the ticking of the clock

Tick tick tick

She's gunna snap

Tick tick tick

Aggressively, she pushes herself out from under her desk, the chair slamming into the filing cabinet behind her.

"I'm taking my break, be back in ten."

She's pacing in the hallway when Sam spots her, has to grab her by the arm to get her attention. He's noticed this in the last few weeks, her behaviour being off. It's like her minds eight places at once, she's twitchy and talkative, very price-like, it's weird. He thinks, maybe she's hiding something.

"What's going on with you?"

And the look she gives him, he suddenly feels unqualified to make such an evaluation. Which is ridiculous considering he's her boyfriend, but-

emotional distance and all.

They don't even talk really, mundane things, nothing important or meaningful.

"Nothing I'm fine." She snaps at him.

"Ok" he says pensively

She takes a breath and composes herself, "You coming over tonight?"

"Nah, I have some stuff to do. Ill see you tomorrow"

He doesn't- have stuff to do- he's just exhausted and doesn't feel like playing his role of perfect boyfriend to Marlo, right now.

The only thing on his mind is sleep.

Well no-

McNally's on his mind, she's always on his mind.

But since he can't do anything about that, all he really wants to do is sleep, for like 10 hours straight..

She doesn't questions what stuff he has. Doesn't want to open that door- the door to questions and answers. She can't go there with him, she likes that they keep a distance. She's embarrassed and doesn't want him to know her secret, he'll treat her differently. Her last relationship was a huge disaster because of it.

He kisses her on the cheek because he feels like he should, feels like he has to.

And when she walks away without looking back he's grateful, can't keep that phoney smile on his face another second.

Andy wakes up early and heads to a coffee shop on the other end of town, she just really needs some time to clear her head.

She's convinced the universe is conspiring against her. It seems like, ever since their talk she's been stuck working cases with Sam day in and day out.

And It's a frigen battle to keep her head in the game every shift.

She's always been attracted to him, obviously- who wouldn't be- but before she could at least focus at the task on hand. Now every time shes in his general vicinity she cant help but think thoughts that really shouldn't be thought at work- shouldn't be thought in public. That and the fact that he's being so sweet and nice and un-postbreakupSam like, shes a mess. things are good between them, they laugh and have fun and work well, but hes still with Marlo and she just cant...

She's soo frustrated, mentally frustrated, sexually frustrated, just frustrated and-

"That'll be 4.25 please."

...And where the hell is her wallet.

So with the irony that is her life, obviously none other than Sam Swarek would walk through the door of the overly priced coffee shop way out of the way of their division.

"McNally."

"Morning." She greets him as she continues to dig through her bag. She sighs dejectedly, rubs her forehead with her hand, "Can I borrow a five?"

He smirks at her, digs a five dollar bill out of his wallet and hands it to the impatient cashier, "A year later and I'm still buying your coffee."

And it's possible he noticed a second too late how stupid that was for him to say, he's really gotta stop with the inappropriate jokes- He braces for impact, but-

She smiles, "You're there when it matters"

And that-

was unexpected...

His eyebrows are basically lost in his hairline, has his tongue poking in his cheek trying to suppress his smile

"Hey, at least this problem I can help you out of without risk of a fatal injury"

And then it's possible she gets her own grin on her face.

Honestly though, he had a point;

Unloaded guns, shots fired, pedophiles, lost prisoners, more shots fired, collapsed laundry mats, storage lockers, burning cars, home invasions, grenades, UC operations, even more shots fired, anthrax scares... It really was a miracle she was still alive, one he was grateful for, every. single. day.

"Thank you." She tells him sincerely.

And the thank you, it wasn't just for the coffee.

He may be confusing as hell and completely unwilling to verbally express any sort of emotion- leaving her guessing his every move- but one thing she was sure of, was that he'd never let anything happen to her.

He saves her every time.

"Never would have expected to run into you here." She tells him as she lifts her cup to her mouth, revels in the deliciousness of it for a second.

She hands him the cup, wants him to try it.

"That happens sometimes- people showing up where you'd least expect them." And the fact that he's alluding to their first night together is not lost on her.

I never thought I'd see anyone I knew at the alpine inn, least of all you

And suddenly everything's weighed down.

Heavy; would be a good way to describe their conversations. Always way more meaning behind simple sentences. Double speak is their game, has been since the beginning.

He hands the cup back to her, the things almost empty, "Nice"

He shrugs and smiles at her, "Hey I bought it"

Which- ya

But he knows he's not gunna get away with that.

Tells her to grab a seat while he waits in line.

He comes back with one for each of them and two pastries.

"So how are you?"

"I'm fighting off a cold, actually. And I think I'm allergic to citrus, I get all like itchy and stuff, it's really disappointing."

He shrugs, "Don't eat citrus"

"Well that's the obvious solution"

They just smile at each other for a long minute there, but then because citrus isn't the only thing McNally's allergic to-

"How are you?"

And she's waiting for it- the stupid joke he's gunna say to avoid speaking his mind-

Well, I don't have a cold..

but..

"Ya know, I'm dealing. Things are better... Some things."

He's in a way better place than he was a year ago, but at the same time he feels like he's falling apart at the seams

He's finally starting to forgive himself for Jerry's death- come to terms with it.

But, he's been thinking so much lately about what he wants out of life and coming up feeling unfulfilled.

His job doesn't even give him any sort of satisfaction anymore. He used to love coming to work, he loved his job and he was good at it. Now he's just bored.

he hates being a D, he really truly hates it.

He's resorted to orchestrating things so that Andy's on all his cases.

seeing her, being around her, working cases with her, they're only things that makes him feel..

Anything-

Other than exasperated- which is all anything else makes him feel these days.

The fact that she's so happy over that little bit of information he just gave her is..

disappointing.

But like-

Progress

"That's good" she smiles, "some good."

He collects their garbage and tilts his head at the door, "C'mon ill give you a ride"

.

Marlo's had like four coffees already when Sam's walks through the door.

"What's that?" She asks him when she sees his cup, "Valasco's? Would have thought that's a little fancy for your taste."

Just then McNally walks by with the same cup in her hand.

"Morning."

And marlo, she's can help but think about the stuff Sam had to do the night before.

But nope-

She berates herself for thinking crazy- she's gotta stay in control- cant have those kind of thoughts.

No way would they be that obvious anyway.

"You ok?" He asks her when he's noticed she still hasn't moved from the entrance

She jogs to catch up to him, "I'm good."

McNally and Shaw are on patrol when they stumble into a huge mess. What they thought was a routine noise complaint, turned into one of the biggest cases they'd ever had. Turns out the abandoned warehouse they were checking out was a dump site for a serial killer.

Teenage boys, 8 and counting, spread out over ten or so years.

Oliver's running down what they've found, papers scattered all over Sam's desk.

"It's gunna be a while before we get all the IDs, but luckily one of them had a broken humerus at some point. Metal plate they put in has a serial number on it. ME ran it and it came back to one, Robert Robbins born in 1979."

Then they're concerned- Shaw and McNally- because Sam has this grin on his face...

And like, buddy, we're talking multiple homicides, why are you smiling?

Andy- she's gotta know, "What? Why are you smiling? That's incredibly inappropriate."

"Robby Robbins, I worked this case when I was a rookie."

He gets up out of his chair and is on his way out the door in seconds.

"Where are you going?"

"See an old friend. Coming McNally?"

The two of them are practically sprinting out of there

And Oliver- he's left shuffling papers around yelling after their retreating forms, "Ya sure! You guys have fun! I'll just be here solving serial murders. No big deal!"

.

They pull up to a nice little white house in the suburbs.

"Remember when you were a rookie, I taught you to follow your instincts, trust your gut, listen to it? You had a lot to prove, you'd get a feeling and nobody'd listen to you."

They get out and he smiles at her over the roof of the car,

"You, your persistent. You'd do whatever you could to prove it."

He both loved it and hated it- her tenacity.

Her and her lions heart, always getting her into trouble, impressed him from day one.

Nearly gave him a heart attack every day since.

"Me. I'd hope that maybe one day something would happen that'd prove me right."

He knocks on the door.

"This is that day. Robby Robbins was dead- that was my gut."

"And this was my TO"

The door opens revealing a grey haired man whom Andy puts at about 55. He gets a big goofy grin on his face when he sees who was there waiting for him "Whoa whoa look who it is, Samantha swarek!"

"How's it going, coach?" Sam laughs

He sneaks a peek at McNally, sees her suppressing her own.

"Come in come in!" He ushers them inside.

He's kind of taken aback when he finally takes a good look at Andy, can't believe how gorgeous she is, "And who's your beautiful sidekick?"

"Andy McNally" she shakes his hand, "Nice to meet you."

He doesn't let it go, pulls her in and kisses her on the cheek, "Nice to meet you too"

Sam's shaking his head- guy hasn't changed a bit.

"Detective Charlie Fitzgerald 25 division."

"Give me a hug kid, come here. How have you been?"

"Ya know."

"What, since you left my division I'm dead to you? You're too good to drink at the shamrock, only the penny is good enough for you."

Andy can't stop smiling.

She likes seeing him like this, so relaxed, so happy.

She can tell Charlie means a lot to Sam- sees how close they are.

Charlie walks into his kitchen motioning for them to follow.

"Come on, ill get you some coffee or something"

While they're takin off their shoes Andy whispers to Sam, "It feels like a just met your dad."

He shrugs, because-

Kinda

"I've known him since I was a teenager. Turned me on to the whole cop thing. I owe him a lot."

"So what's up kid, to what do I owe the honour of your presence?" Charlie asks once they're all sitting down, coffee in hand.

"Robby Robbin, case we worked 10 years ago. He went missing and his girlfriend was devastated, Ella something." sam explains to him, " I was convinced he was dead somewhere and I was right."

"Right right, Robby Robbins, I remember. We looked for him for two days then traced his credit card to..."

"Dallas, ya. Except he didn't go to Dallas."

"Okay, so what happened."

"We found his bod this morning, along with 9 others in an old industrial building." McNally tells him.

For the briefest of seconds Charlie looks like he saw a ghost and got punched in the gut at the same time. It happened so fast though, that they didn't really notice. 30plus years on the force, he's learned to school his expressions, hide his emotions.

"So since you're technically still the detective of records, I was kinda hoping you'd come down to 15, help us out." Sam asks him hopefully.

Once they get the IDs of the other victims things start to fall into place. The murders are spread out, average about one a year. And the boys, they were all relatively the same age, but it wasn't until they tacked their last known locations on a map that they saw the pattern-

Well, it wasn't till then that Collins saw the pattern,

"Underground tunnels"

"What?"

"The military used them for moving personnel and supplies in the early nineteen hundreds. They were supposed to be closed off, but.."

He made a circle in red pen on the map, "This building here, there's an entrance to them in the basement"

He did it again and again, "same with these ones", till there were red circles connecting each victim. It appeared as though the subject was traveling through the tunnels to sneak around various parts of the city unnoticed.

"So what were looking for a military guy? Who knows about these tunnels?" Oliver asked.

"It's possible. Building owners too. It's not the most well kept secret so it could be anyone really, I guess."

"We'll start there, see what we get."

Everyone's focused on this. It's a huge case and it'll look great on the division and anyone involved in the arrest, only thing is they're on a timeline. They had to inform the higher ups and they know its only a matter of time before the RCMP takes over.

They look in to all the building owners come up basically empty. There's like one possible suspect, Thomas Royer. He just so happens to own two of the buildings on the list, who conveniently are on opposite ends of the city. It's not much, but it's all they've got.

.

McShaw go to pick up Royer, so Sam and Charlie don't have a whole lot to do till they get back.

"McNally, she's cute" Charlie mentions as he digs in the fridge for some cream for his coffee.

"Ya..." Sam knows there's a follow up to that statement.

Charlie's not one to point out the obvious,

and well anyone with eyes...

"Anything you want to share?"

And seriously what's he gunna share?

Well coach, there's a shit tone of history there and I love her more than anything and anyone, but I effed it up, couldn't be who she needed, then my best friend died, I dumped her, she left for six months and now we're both with new people.

Don't think so.

"No"

"C'mon Sam she's not just your colleague"

But she was, that was the problem. Sam somehow managed to make her just that- his colleague.

Ex rookie

Ex partner

Ex girlfriend

"We broke up almost a year ago"

And a year, had it only been that long? Feels like another life since he's been with her. Can't even remember what it's like to have her, to kiss her, to call her his.

"What'd you do to mess that up?"

"Just assume it was my fault"

Charlie waits for Sam to look at him, "No but I know you probably think it was"

"Ya you know me"

He pats him on the shoulder, "Ya kid I do"

Sam's pissed, she can tell.

He used to get like that sometimes after work- all grouchy and wounded because he couldn't get something to stick- she'd give him a back massage till he relaxed-

..And then they'd have sex.

Like every time..

Near the end there, she started to wonder if he caught on and would just pretend to be upset.

Doesn't matter now.

The point is, he's upset and it's safe to say the interview didn't go well.

"Didn't get anything?"

"No"

"Well maybe I can cheer you up, pay back for the coffee?"

"Shoot"

She can't really give him the back massage and definitely no sex, but-

"Well, Peckstein, Diaz and Price went down in the tunnels to see if there was any adequate evidence and it looks like someone's been living down there."

"You're on the verge of impressing me, drive it home"

"Gail's medical examiner friend, what's her name, Haley? Or holly? I think it's holly"

And seriously-

"Not important" he cuts her off.

"Right. Well she ran some DNA through the military database and got a name"

"You're kidding"

She shakes her head, opens up her notebook,"Nathan Quincy, 50, dishonourably discharged from the military in 2003."

"2003 is when the first murder happened. Coulda been a stresser."

"Exactly."

But she doesn't look nearly excited enough for Sam's liking,

"What's the but face?"

"Well he's been living down there right. So we don't exactly have anywhere to look for him."

And shit...

Everyone's working OT and it's been the longest day ever, but they don't want to miss their chance at catching this guy.

If they go home and sleep, next thing they know all their hard work is being handed off and RCMP sweeps in and does the one last thing they have left to do and gets all the credit.

There's a guy coming in to see Swarek in a bit, one of Quincy's old platoon buddies.

Sam goes to the front desk to tell Marlo to send him back when he gets there, but just as he's about to leave he notices some papers.

"Cruz what are you...looking into Royer?"

"It wasn't busy so I thought I'd help out, take a look."'

"Okay, but he was cleared. We have our guy, Nathan Quincy, so if you wanna help, maybe look into that. Find someplace this guy could be hiding out."

She won't have it though, "But Royer, I know he's guilty of something I'm sure of it."

She sat in on the interrogation with him and something about the guy just really irked her. She couldn't let it go.

"Marlo, drop Royer, were looking for Quincy." He tells her rather sternly.

"Yes sir."

"Sam" Andy interrupts them.

"What is it, McNally?"

She looks between them, asks for a second alone. She was looking into Quincy when she find something she really wishes she hadn't. Has no clue how to go about telling Sam.

"It's about Charlie"

"What happened, is he alright?"

And crap-

She probably shouldn't have started like that

"No Sam he's fine. It's..."

"Spit it out McNally"

"I was looking into Quincy, trying to find maybe a relative he'd go to or..."

Sam frustrated, it's like nobody can stay on task, "What's this gotta do with Charlie?"

And he kinda snaps a her, so her next sentence comes out in a rush, "Nathan Quincy's real name is Nathaniel Fitzgerald, he's Charlie's brother"

He's quiet for like a real long time, doesn't move an inch, till he starts walking away.

She stops him though, grabs him by the arm,

"You want me to come with you?"

"No" is his automatic response.

He deals with things on his own, because that's how he's always done it. That's how he had to do it, because he couldn't rely on anyone but himself. But maybe- maybe he doesn't have to anymore.

He thinks about Jerry, how much she tried to help him through it, how he shut her out.

"Actually, I do. But this is something I kinda gotta do myself." And he hopes to God she understands where he's coming from. That she believes him when he says that.

"Ya. ya, I get it." She nods to him, gives his arm a squeeze before letting him go.

It takes him like 20 minutes to get out of the car when he gets to Charlie's. He doesn't know what he's gunna say, how he could even...

Charlie was like a father to him, well what he thought a father should be like.

As soon as he opens the door he gets right into it, doesn't know he'd be able to if he waited too long.

"How'd you pull it off?"

He's suddenly feeling ambushed, has no clue what Sam's referring to.

"What the hell are you talking about? Sam, pull what off?"

"Nathan Quincy... Anything you wanna share with me?"

He fires them back at him- Charlie's words when he was prying about his history with Andy.

"Ok wait" he holds out his hands

"So it was bad enough that you lied to me all day... then I thought, you must have known about this for yearrrrssss."

He tries to explain, but Sam cuts him off-

"Right? That's why you were so insistent Robby up and moved, what did u make up the credit card thing too?

"Ok look, just listen to me for a sec okay?"

He's waiting for Sam to interrupt him again, but he just stands there, arms crossed, blank expression on his face.

So he launches in, "Nate you know, he was messed up. Always getting into trouble... He lost his trust found when he was sixteen. Kicked out of the family. He changed his name, joined the army. I didn't talk to him for years..."

Charlie's family came from money, but with money came expectations and he didn't really reach those when he decided to become a cop so he was pretty much ousted too. Sam knew about all of that, what he didn't know about was the brother.

"Then after he got kicked out, he came to me, I was helping him get clean.

I went over to check on him one day and I saw it, that kids body."

He's begging Sam to understand, "The kid, he was already dead when I got there, there was noting I could do.

I thought it was only the one, I swear I didn't know."

"One kid? That makes it okay?" Sam's horrified, can't believe the man he looked up to for most of his life, the man he aspired to be like, would...

"No. No. Of course not- Nate- he said it was an accident. He was trying to get his life back together. I wasn't gunna sell him out."

"So you covered it up."

"Today, that was the first time I heard there were more, I swear to you Sam. You gotta believe me."

And he's basically on the verge of tears. His voice is so small and broken, "Sam you believe me right?... Don't you?"

Sam swallows hard, looks up at the ceiling.

He believes him- he does- but he just can't...

"Will you help me get him?"

He wants to help him, wants to do whatever he can to make him stop looking at him like that- all heartbroken, but-

"He's my brother."

"He's a killer."

They're both so emotional.

Charlie- he's got tears dripping down his face.

Sam walks over and gives him a hug, pulls away after a second to look him in the eye,

"What are you gunna do, Charlie? You can't live with this. Knowing you could stopped this from happening, it's gunna kill you."

"Sam I..."

"Please...help me."

Charlie nods his head.

He has to do it, brother or not, doesn't matter.

Andy see's Sam sitting there in the break room, he just looks so sad.

She knows she shouldn't go in there, it's not her place.

But she just needs to make sure he's okay.

And she told him she'd be there, she promised.

"Tough day huh"

She plops herself down beside him. He doesn't say anything.

"Charlie came through though, in the end."

Sam has this far away look in his eyes, chuckles a little, "You know he uh, he busted me for selling stolen car parts, that's how we met."

"No way"

"He told me he'd let me off if i got my act together, went back to school."

He wants to open up to her, wants to show her he can, but when he goes to speak words just fall out,

"I don't like tool sheds"

"What?"

He clears his throat, wants to go about this right, looks her straight in the eyes, "Around the time my dad first came home, I must have been 6 or 7 he, uh, he locked me in the tool shed over night because I broke his hockey stick."

And Andy feels like she should say something, but she's worried if she does he'll stop talking.

He tilts his head, looks away, "When was around ten he made me sleep in there for a week because I didn't mow the lawn. I forgot." he shrugs,

"By the time I was sixteen I was screwing up just so I wouldn't have to sleep under the same roof as that guy."

And she gets it, why it's so hard for him to open up. She always knew there had to be something, but she never expected this.

His voice is thick when he goes to speak again, "Charlie, you know, he was a good guy, he showed me that a man could be kind and fair and good."

"He's still that guy, Sam." She tells him, "He might have made some mistakes, but he did the right thing today...and he did it for you."

"Andy I-" he starts,

But he hears Marlo's voice, "Hey guys."

"Hey" Andy stands abruptly. It's like Marlo appearing when she did gave her a reality check.

For a moment there it felt like they were back, only this time things were going how she pictured them in her head, how she always wished they would.

But they weren't back

and she shouldn't be the one he was telling these things to.

"See you guys tomorrow."

He watches her walk away; collins meets up with her in the hall, he sees them smile at each other; Watches him put her in a head lock; Hears her laugh...her beautiful laugh.

Marlo, she watches him; watches him watch McNally; she can tell his heart slowly breaks over what he's seeing; sees him put on his mask, try and bury it all deep inside; Hears him speak... he asks how she is.

"Good." She lies. "You?"

"Good."

Same old conversation.. every time.

This isn't what he wants.. Not anymore. Doesn't know why he ever thought he did. He doesn't want to wake up one day a realize nobody knows him. He wants her to know him- Andy- not just anyone.

Maybe it's time he took a page out of her play book- made a plan-

Got his life on track.

He's too old for this let things happen as they happen shit- it's gotten him absolutely nowhere.

Time to make a change.