Recurring Nightmares
He took another step, and Neji took one back, his eyes wide. Ohh what Shikamaru would give to know all the thoughts running through his mind.
He was probably thinking it wasn't really him, like Sasuke had done. But Neji knew him better than anyone else, he would assure himself that this was definitly his ex, on the outside, at least.
Of course he was afraid, just look at Shikamaru! He was reaking of power that he'd never seen before, his muscles were actually visible through his clothing, whereas before he'd been more lean and lankey-looking.
He knew his eyes had changed, after getting out of the shower he had studied his reflection for at least ten minutes. Even though he was only in his late twenties, he seemed to have aged backward. He didn't look young, but he noticed a few less worry lines than he'd had, and his crows feet that had more or less become permanent fixtures since Neji's departure weren't to be found.
But the eyes were windows into the soul, and his soul had been burglarized by Jashin and his wicked ways. The harder he fought, the more it seemed his true self was fading away, consumed by the anger and hatred that was so easy to embrace with his newfound power.
So, in a way, it wasn't Shikamaru Nara. And yet no amount of searching elsewhere would find him either.
He was lost within himself and it felt so good.
Neji turned on his heel and ran for it then.
Yes, run away. Run like the prey you are.
It only feuled his excitement, like a wolf after his next meal. He pursued not half a second behind him, teeth gritted as his inner beings battled against themselves.
Neji's hair had grown back fast and more silky than ever, it flowed behind him, bouncing and touseling itself in that unique little ponytail as he fled. It wasn't nearly as long as it had been originally, but if Shikamaru reached out, if Neji stumbled for even a trillionth of a second, he could grab it.
But he didn't want to, he was enjoying this, and he heard himself halfway laughing amidst his quick breaths.
He wanted Neji to look back, he wanted to see the fear in him at how utterly close he was to being caught, how close he was to death, this time by his own hands. He knew he wouldn't look back, Neji had the byakugan, he didn't need to turn around to see behind him. A fact that was probably the only thing saving him right now. He was probably well aware of how agonizingly close he was to losing his life.
He wouldn't see it that way, of course. Who ever did? Anyone who was going to die never stopped to think about how it had come about, they never considered their own stupidity as being a factor. It was always someone elses's fault, always.
It didn't matter though, Jashin would judge them, judge him, for what he had done. Shikamaru knew it was not his fault, he was doing what he'd been driven to do.
'LISTEN TO YOURSELF!' his own voice pleaded inside his head. 'You've turned into Hidan, you've become everything you hated about him!
"Shut up!" He growled back aloud, the ferosity in his voice startling him.
Neji, the cunning little bastard, noticed his split second of distraction. Stopping on a dime he twirled gracefully on toe into a palm rotation, and Shikamaru ran right into it.
He smashed against it like a ton of bricks and was knocked backward onto his ass. Neji stared at him for only a heartbeat, his confusion and pain enhanced by the tears streaking his face.
"Sh...shikamaru.." His whimper was barely heard over the rising echo of sirens.
Damn, he forgot about that. There was no way in hell he wouldn't be reported after that little stunt. What kind of excuse was he going to use this time, if he was lucky someone had seen Hidan with him. Surely he had some sort of record...
"I'm...I'm so sorry.." Neji's quiet sob broke him from his thoughts, and as he focused on those beautiful pale waterey eyes, his anger flooded from him like a broken dam. He was cast back into awareness and instantly his body complained of it's recent abuse.
He felt his own eyes tearing up as his actions slammed into him. Oh no.. what had he done?
He loved Neji! He was back! He'd finally come back and he'd attacked him like ... like... the the man who drove him away in the first place.
No.. this couldn't... it can't.. he didn't... he didn't know what to do!
He wanted to apologize, he wanted to run to him and hug him, risking being bombarded by a defensive Neji.
Oh no.. how could he be here. He couldn't be here right now, he hadn't gotten out of his contract with Jashin yet. Hidan was still.. Oh shit! Hidan!
"Leave!" He shouted to his ex-lover, who looked hurt only for a second before he heard the awareness return to Shikamaru's voice.
'Yes, yes it's me now but I'll explain later!'
"Neji please run away! Do it now!" He pleaded as the brunette started to run to him, relief among many other emotions swirling around in his brilliant eyes. He was overcome with happiness at seeing the real Shikamaru after so long, he knew. The feminine Hyuga may be a genious but he had always been fueled by emotion. But he was in danger, there was no telling whether Hidan was still out for his blood, and not only the albino was a threat. Shikamaru himself could not seem to keep his head on straight, any second he could fall victim to one of his episodes and if Neji's guard was down it would only take a second before the Nara would kill him with his now super-human stength.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" He snarled, stopping the brunette in his tracks.
He had no choice, he could seek Neji out later, He had already had Shika trying to kill him. Seeing Hidan back from the dead would likely be too much for him to handle. Then there would be no explaining. Neji would be so hysterical that he'd probably be taken to a crazy-farm.
Something gleamed from the upper right corner of Shikamaru's vision, and his stomache did a backflip. He scrambled to his feet and started rushing to his ex-lover, he had to protect him. He had to keep him alive to explain.
Oh god but how could he? How could he possibley tell him what happened. He would never see him again, a fact he had come to terms with previously, but now couldn't bear the thought of.
He wasn't fast enough though, and in the blink of an eye Hidan was behind Neji, restraining him with one arm and holding one of those huge stakes to his jugular with the other.
Shikamaru fell to his knees and groaned at the overwhelming desperation that exploded within him. Everything crashed down, all the progress he'd made, all the hope he'd built up, the wounds that had healed were violently ripped open again when he heard his fellow Jashinist mutter into his ex-lovers ear through that grin that suddenly wasn't attractive anymore.
"Hello again, princess. Did you miss me?"
Neji's eyes shifted first into his version of understanding. Shikamaru could practically read his mind through his expression. He was reasoning with himself that Shikamaru had been on that roof in a fight for his life against the zealot, back from the dead to seek revenge. He'd tried to drive Neji away to protect him
Oh Neji, poor, sweet, unsuspectig Neji. If only you knew. If only he could explain, though the spikey haired Jashinist had no idea how he was going to do that if he managed to keep him alive.
Maybe he could have blown it off, maybe he could have just taken care of Hidan and told him a bunch of lies and gotten away from it.
But the understanding in the byakugan activated eyes quickly turned to panic as he came to terms with the fact that Hidan was alive. He was alive and had him by the throat and all he had to do was turn his wrist and sever that crucial artery and Neji was dead. Paralyzed by fear, his ex-lovers eyes pleaded him silently to do something. To once again save him from the brink of death.
Maybe Shikamaru could have gotten away with it. Maybe he could have pushed whatever feeligs he'd developed for Hidan to the back of his mind and solved the problem. He might have been able to just do what he should have done in the first place, but in a position as compromising as this, he had only one option. And if it worked than Neji would want a through explanation.
"Let him go Hidan!" He commanded, surprising himself with the confidence in his order.
"I've got him for you pineapple head. Finish him off like the helpless fucking heathen he is."
Shikamaru's chest clenched. Yes, there was no way he could get out of telling the truth now. No matter which option he chose, he was damned.
"Let...him...go." Shikamaru demanded again through clenched teeth. "NOW!" The unspoken threat in his voice would probably be more effective if he wasn't still on his knees, but all his strength was going into trying to seem intimidating right now.
Hidan looked at him sideways, and Shikamaru refused to break eye-contact. He was /not/ afraid of him anymore, Hidan was no longer more powerful than him. He was nothing more than a subordinate now.
Finally grimacing, Hidan lowered the weapon, though he still refused to let the Hyuga go free.
"There was nothing in our deal about not killing him."
"You're a fucking idiot if you really think I'd let you! No killing Neji Hyuga! No threatening his life! In fact, when he's around, you go find something else to occupy your time! Got it?"
"You can't go fucking making up rules and shit all the time! You're not my fucking master, I serve only Jashin, and he still wants his soul..." Hidan trailed off, pulling a terrified and utterly dumbstruck Neji even closer to him and putting the pike back to his throat.
"He's branded anyway. He's not yours any fucking way that you look at it."
Shit. Now what? Hidan wasn't going to listen. He really had just been going along with it. This had been his plan the whole time.
But... but he'd really thought he cared.. He lost Kakuzu, he'd gone on a rampage.. he'd kissed him and held him and they'd made such intimate passionate love...
It.. no.. Even Hidan had feelings. He felt heartbreak and lonliness just like everyone else.
But, he'd tried to betray Jashin before. He couldn't do it and ended up trying to sacrifice Neji anyway...
Why the hell did the demon God want Neji so fucking bad anyway? Was it the byakugan? Was it just because he was pretty? Was he just like a spoiled child, once he decided he wanted something he went to any lengths to get it?
Jashin just give me a goddamn clue!
Nothing.
Of course.
Dammit Neji! Why the hell did he have to come back!?
Shikamaru was only getting himself in deeper and deeper trouble and now he had to not only watch out for himself but for Neji too. This was too much! No human being alive could be expected to do this!
He was at a complete loss. There was no way out of this, Hidan wouldn't let himself be caught in his shadow possesion again, and it wouldn't be fast enough to keep him from slitting Neji's throat anyway.
The sirens suddenly blared back into his thoughts. And he didn't know whether to be comforted or worried. The police couldn't help this situation... all they would do is make it more difficult to think straight and piss Hidan off and make him even less likely to reason with.
"Hidan..." he said, just barely managing to keep the desperation from his voice. "I swear I'll kill you. I'll kill you and you'll be gone for good. There'll be no one to dig you up this time."
Hidan's face went blank, and a flicker of hope gave Shikamaru a small dose of confidence. Enough to push him to his feet and let his hands haze over threateningly.
"I'm all you have left." Again he mentally punched himself. He was digging himself a deeper and deeper grave with every word he let Neji hear. But it was the only upperhand that he had.
"Jashinists... never break their word." He forced out. Even if Neji misunderstood, it wouldn't matter now. He might as well just let go of the thought that he would stay. There was no reason to cling to such a notion. There was no way in hell the Hyuga would forgive him this time, no matter what facts he pointed out, no mattered how he pleaded or reasoned.
"Damn yoouu!" Hidan growled, suddenly throwing Neji to the side with a yelp. "Who the fucking hell do you think you are!?" He shouted, his violent eyes nearly ablaze.
Oh shit. He probably should have known Kakuzu's death was a sensitive topic. But at least it had the desired effect. Neji was safe, if he had any brains at all, he'd run away while Shikamaru distracted his potential murderer.
He could halfway understand his rage, chances are Hidan had come to think of the Nara as a comrade, and possibly had started trusting him as more than that too. And Shikamaru was dismayed to find out that it hurt him to see Hidan look so betrayed. It's not as if the psycho hadn't grown on him too.
"EVERYONE FREEZE!" A strangers voice barked over an intercom.
Damn it all, now he had to distract Hidan from Neji and innocent police officers just trying to do their job.
"HANDS IN THE AIR! "
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Hidan roared, taking off like a bullet toward the officer. Luckily enough for them they were more or less behind Shikamaru, and he was able to jump in the way and after a few punches and blocks, expertly maneuvered the weapon away from Hidan and kicked him back in the direction he came from.
Simultaneously He pulled out his wallet and tossed it behind him to the officer, scanned the area for Neji and said a silent thank-you prayer when he didn't find him. He wasn't writhing in unidentifiable pain, so Jashin must not be too awefully pissed.
A random thought occurred to him and he reached into his rear pocket opposite the one he had his wallet in.
HOLY SHIT! Oh Jashin or God or whoever the hell was out there, thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou.
"This sitaution is being handled! Please don't interfere!" He shouted behind him to the officers, gone quiet while they most likley checked his I.D. and Jutsu permit.
Surely they'd let him off the hook, they witnessed with their own eyes him defending them against Hidan.
He pulled the small metal ring from his pocket. Whether it be coincidence or Jashin's grace, he had slipped on the pair of pants he'd been wearing when Itachi had given it to him. The pants he'd deemed as 'clean enough' seeing as they'd missed most of the damage from his and Hidans little fling when they had been removed and tossed aside. Something he still didn't understand, seeing as they'd been rolling around in flesh blood...
Bah, he'd just let it go as Jashin's plan. So what? He couldn't think about it right now, Hidan was pissed enough to start killing left and right and he needed to get him under control, and with the miniscule chance that Neji might still be watching, tackling him and kissing him into submission wasn't an option.
Shikamaru blinked, the fact that that idea had come up at all was somewhere between hilarious and troublesome.
He slid the ring onto his finger and channeled chakra into it, but having to cut it off almost immediatly to focus on blocking another charge from Hidan and knock him back again. He was back in an instant, snarling, and Shikamaru swung the pike at him, forcing the silver hair to jump back to evade.
The zealot was in a blind fury now, he wasn't going to stop until he was restrained or he tasted someones blood.
He channeled chakra into the ring again.
"Hey!" He shouted into it, and jerked in surprise as Itachi's voice suddenly invaded his head.
"You don't need to yell, I'm going to be fighting a headache all night now."
Shikamaru gave an apologetic smile as he once again deflected an attack from a thankfully weaponless Hidan. And then he felt stupid, Itachi couldn't see him.
"Sorry. But I really need some help right now. Hidan's trying to go on a rampage, there's people all around and I can't protect them and figure out a way to trick him into my Shadow Possesion at the same time!"
"Why is he upset?"
"It's really too much to summarize for you. Just follow the sirens!"
Shikamaru let his hand fall away. The Uchiha definitley didn't sound happy. Then again, he rarely did.
He lunged at Hidan to tackle him and only halfway succeeded. In fact he'd blundered horribley.
Hidan saw him coming, and when they collided he'd dropped to his back and rolled, using Shikamaru's momentum against him to throw him backward with his feet.
He was up and charging for the officer making handsigns in an instant, and though Shikamaru was close behind, the zealot was just out of reach.
"SAY YOUR PRAYERS FUCKERS!" Hidan howled, his hand glowing a dark red and forming into a blade.
Shika's eyes widened.
No way! Hidan was using his attack! The one he didn't even know about until his uncharactaristic pursuit of Sasuke. There was no doupt that he could use jutsu now, but /how?/ Neji had said his chakra seemed strange, but at the funeral he had contributed it to his lack of being able to perform the sacrifices he needed to stay alive. But now, what with the clones and this justu, it was almost as if...
As if he had Shikamaru's abilities...
Maybe... Maybe it was Jashin's powers, he hadn't even known how to do it until he'd basically pledged himself to the demon god.
Or maybe it was just something the priest was capable of. He had no idea what Kakuzu's abilities had been, maybe he'd not had anything for Hidan to mimic.
He wasn't going to be able to stop him, he was charging after him in a dead sprint, and now that he was attacking the man seemed to move even faster.
Shit, he couldn't let him taste that officers blood, but there was no possible way to stop him in time. Even his shadows couldn't move fast enough, seeing as he had to stop and say the invocation word. Just in that split seconds time the zealot would have been able to cut the man's head clean off.
Then, as if his prayers were answered, a blur raced down seemingly out of nowhere in front of Hidan. In what couldn't even be measured in any manner of time the silver haired man's glowing arm was grabbed and twisted behind him into a submissive hold, and he roared in anger while falling to his knees.
The one man calvary, Itachi Uchiha, had made it with not a single second to spare, and was restraining Hidan with one hand, emotionless as ever.
His eyes flicked up to the stunned officer, sharingan blazing.
"I suggest you and your men leave the premises before any casualties occur. You are outclassed here and the problem has now been dealt with."
"Goddammit red-eyes! Fuck off that man was Jashin's next meal!"
Shikamaru skidded to a stop beside Itachi, panting. His next meal?
Whoa, wait a second. Jashin ate the souls sacrificed to him?
"Shikamaru.." Itachi said, only the slightest wrinkle on his brow giving away his anger. "I expect an explanation after this."
"Yeah... no problem..." The Nara wheezed. He had a few questions to ask himself...
"YOU!" Hidan raged, thrashing violently but unable to break the Uchiha's grip. "Consider yourself DEAD you pineapple headed fuck! How dare you betray Jashin will!"
"Hidan..." Shikamaru said softly, angry at himself for feeling so guilty all the sudden. "You can't really have expected me to just watch while you kill Neji."
"Why the hell not!? You were about to do it anyway!" He shouted back.
"So that's what's going on here?" Itachi said, one admittedly perfect brow raised.
"Sort of.." Shikamaru sighed. Everything was okay now. The policemen had heeded Itachi's warning and were slowly leaving, having left Shika's wallet on the ground for fear of intervening to hand it to him personally.
He made his way over to the discarded chunk of leather and retrived it.
"Thank you..." He said to Itachi, throughly exhausted. Really, from sparring with Hidan to falling off a building to chasing Neji to all the other utter bullshit that had gone down, his chakra was just about exhausted and he had aches and pains in places he didn't even know he had muscles. He knew he'd be better by tomorrow, but the mental exhaustion was something even Jashin couldn't relieve.
And he still had quite a bit of explaining to do.
Damn, he really hoped Neji would wait a few days to make another appearance.
"You're welcome." Itachi replied flatly. "I will help you remove him from the public eye, and then I'd like to be filled in."
He looked down to Hidan as he spoke, who had given up his struggle and was resting his weight on his free hand, breathing heavily. He didn't respond, and Shikamaru could only assume that he was just as worn out as himself.
"Yeah, We can go back to my apartment."
Hidan lifted his head just enough to meet the Nara's eyes, and he begged silently to remain silent and just agree with whatever he told the elder Uchiha. Surely Hidan was just as disinclined to share his sex life with Itachi as he was to share it with Shikamaru.
"I'm sure I'm going to have to fill out a report tomorrow." He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. Itachi remained silent, and it breifly occured to Shikamaru that he probably knew how to evade the system, he made a mental note to ask about that.
"You okay now?" He asked Hidan, who yanked his arm from his captors loosened grip and stood, rubbing his wrist. Shikamaru just rolled his eyes when he replied with a glare, oh well, he could throw his tantrum. Shikamaru would never regret saving Neji, not before, and not now.
-o-
"So Neji has returned, and I'm taking it that you were not expecting it." Itachi started in immediatly after shutting the door behind him.
"Yeah.." Shikamaru said, falling into his chair like a rag doll and reaching for a cigarette.
"That explains Hidan's actions. But not the crater outside your apartment complex."
"If you want every detail then you might as well make yourself comfortable..." Shikamaru mumbled through lighting his cancer stick. Honestly, he was so over this. No, he still didn't want Itachi to know every aspect of the situation, but once again the man had appeared more-or-less out of the blue to pull his ass out of deep water. If he wanted to know, he would tell him. He wasn't going to just blurt it out, but if the elder Uchiha caught on... so be it.
"I don't intend to stay that long. You two are not my only priorities. Just tell me the basics."
"It's none of your damn business anyway Red-eyes!"
"Every time you get yourself into trouble is most certianly my business, especially when I'm called in to control you."
"Tch. You're not my mommy Uchiha. I can take care of my fucking self."
"Hidan!" Itachi snapped, the small escape of emotion made both Jashinists twitch in surprise. "Nagato has had enough of your temper tantrums. I am the only thing stopping him from coming after you himself right now. "
Hidan snorted and crossed his arms, and Shikamaru had to hold back his smirk as he imagined him with his lower lip in a pout.
"I'm not fucking afraid of him."
Itachi continued after taking a slow breath, his gaze flicking to Shikamaru for only a moment. "It's been a year Hidan..." he said softly, and the albinos death glare was instantly on the Uchiha, who was unaffected.
"You need to try to move on..."
Hidans eyes narrowed and the two glared at each other. Hidan had to be aware that Shikamaru knew of Kakuzu's fate after that little fiasco. He wasn't sure if he just didn't want to talk about it in general or just not in front of his cult partner.
"Don't fucking act like you still know me, Uchiha." Hidan said in a growl so low that Shika could barely hear it.
"You can run your brothers life but keep your fucking nose out of mine."
"Do not bring Sasuke into this simply to aggravate me." Itachi said calmly. "I would be more than happy to stay out of your life if you would stop dragging me back into it. Which is it Hidan? Do you want me to help you or to leave you alone? I'm getting sick of these childish games."
Shikamarus head felt as if he were watching a ping-pong tournament. Did they really have to get into these squabbles with him here? He felt like he was intruding on something.
Hidan continued to glare at Itachi, who had just the slightest smugness in his stance.
"I'm not a fool. I know what's going on here, and regardless of your religion you cannot just go around killing people who get in the way of what you want. Shikamaru is not an object, his past still needs dealt with. If you want him then you're going to have to help him, not make his decision even harder."
"Uhhh..." Shikamaru gaped, and his guests' eyes both landed on him. How the hell had this conversation ended up here!? And what the fuck? He actually did know!
Itachi did his equivalent of an eye roll. "Neither of your love lives are my concern, you can stop being so embarrased."
"How-"
"Hidan was using abilities that he is not capable of without a willing Jashinist partner to leech off of. "
"Hey! I'm not fucking leeching anything!"
"Shut up Hidan."
The priest stood up then. "Why don't you shut the hell up. I'm about sick of you gossiping about me to the whole fucking world. If I want pineapple head to know my goddamn life story then I'll be the fucker to explain it to him."
Itachi stared blankly, and Hidan turned to Shikamaru.
"And you need to quit fucking acting like a victim all the damn time. You know why your life is so shitty? Cuz' you fucking make it that way! You want your boytoy back? GO FUCKING GET HIM! But don't fucking commit to getting over him and expect me to be over-fucking-joyed when you suddenly stab me in the back and decide 'you still have feelings for him'" He said the last in a mocking voice. "I'm not fucking here because I want to be you stupid pineapple headed fuck. Maybe I was but I'm fucking sick of your shit. If you ever, EVER fucking threaten me again..." Hidan paused, grinding his teeth. "You don't even wanna know what I'll fucking do to you."
With that he turned and stormed from the room, slamming the apartment door shut behind him so hard that Shikamaru thought for a moment that it might fall right off it's hinges.
Hey... at least he used the door.
Shikamaru stared after him, mouth hanging open and disbelief plastered all over his face.
"The enigma known as Hidan..." Itachi said quietly.
Shikamaru flopped back again, grabbing the sides of his head with both hands. "I'm going to lose my mind."
Itachi allowed a small smirk at this. "I think he really likes you."
Shikamaru almost choked, gaping at his remaining guest incredously. "How the hell do you get affection from that!?"
"Because, you're still alive." Itachi said almost casually, finally seating himself. "Care to tell me how you managed to get him so riled up?"
"Me?" Shikamaru scoffed. Hidan had been calm until Itachi had started in on him.
"Yes, you asked for assistance to control him remember?"
Oh, right. "Well. Uh... he.." Shikamaru flicked his ashes and toom another drag while Itachi waited with a bored expression.
"You had sex."
Shikamaru felt like his entire body turned red. Did he have to say it like that? That wasn't even really an important part of this! This was weird, talking to Itachi like they were best friends. Actually... it felt more like he was talking to a therapist. The sharingan user seriously needed to figure out how to relax.
Itachi gave an irritated sigh. "I told you already that there's no need for your humiliation. I honestly don't want to know the details, so skip that part, if you would."
Shikamaru cleared his throat. Yeah, he wouldn't argue with that. "Well, I don't really know what the hell he was doing, flirting or just trying to aggrivate me, but he stole all of my hairbands, even the one I was using. I chased after him to get it back and we ended up having a sparring match on the roof and..."
"And...?" Itachi drawled.
And what? He'd had an episode?
"Something happened, like... I don't know what it even was. It's like there was someone else in my head with me, like I was two different people but with only one body..."
Itachi's brow furrowed slightly at this, but he remained quiet, waiting for Shikamaru to explain further.
"I remember thinking... that I could sacrifice Hidan. And he saw what I was doing and tried to stop me. I tried to stop myself even but it's was as if I were just standing back watching it all happen. I had no control.
Hidan tackled me to make me stop and we ended up going over the edge."
"And thats why the street is destroyed." Itachi said calmly. "But when did Neji Hyuga show up."
"Right after I landed. Well I guess he had to have been there when it happened, but that's when I noticed him. In fact I think Hidan knew he was here before I did."
"Most likley." Itachi answered, "And he saw Hidan and tried to make a run for it and you stopped him, and that set him off."
"Well, I don't think me stopping him was the whole reason."
A single brow raised in question.
"When I saw Neji, I got angry. I don't even know why. I had this overwhelming urge to kill him, and I swear to my grandma's grave I heard someone whisper in my ear..."
"You tried to kill Hyuga?" Itachi said, unable to keep all the disbelief from his voice. Shikamaru only averted his gaze in response. He was ashamed to say it, and honestly he didn't even know why he was sharing all this with Itachi. He could have just stuck with the 'Hidan wanted to kill him and Shikamaru stopped him' story. But the look of betrayal in the zealots eyes had stung him, and he wasn't completley sure why it affected him so.
"I don't know what came over me... "
"You are a Jashinist, Shikamaru." Itachi suddenly said just a little condescending. "It happened before also, I believe, when you decided to attack my brother for no reason."
Shikamaru cringed at this nodded, he'd almost forgotten about that.
"The religion is based on chaos. The best way to create chaos is to make impulsive decisions without logic. It is Jashin playing at your weaknesses as a human being. He used your anger at Neji for his own devices."
"But..." Shikamaru studdered, he had felt possessed almost, but he hadn't thought that would really be an accurate description.
"Why do you think Hidan is the way he is?" Itachi said, and the Nara hesitated. Everything was starting to add up, well, sort of...
Jashin had taken Neji and used him against Shikamaru. The nightmares, they were stepping stones to torture him to the point where he would accept any kind of comfort he could. Jashin provided him with Hidan, who only helped it along by tricking himself into voluntarily giving Jashin control. Hidan succeeded in pulling him from his depression, which made Shikamaru less inclined to believe the false things in his dream, and in fact turned it around into anger, anger directed at Neji. Sasuke had been merely a test, or he assumed so. The demon of a God probably wouldn't object to munching on the soul of the younger Uchiha if he could get it.
When Neji came back, that had been the real attempt.
But the question still remained of why everything was centered around his ex. Was it really all just a ploy to reap the soul he had missed out on when Hidan had failed?
Was Kakuzu's death some sort of punishment? Or was it a driving force to trick Hidan into seeking out Shikamaru, thinking it was his idea? Or maybe even both?
"Jashin has a plan for you." He had said...
Finally, some sense was being made! Even though it was bad news, Shikamaru couldn't help but be somewhat relieved.
But there were some things that still weren't solved.
"You think Hidan actually likes me?" He asked, wanting to slap himself for sounding like a teenage girl again.
Itachi seemed to think the same thing as he seemed to hold back a smile. "It seems so to me, yes."
That didn't make sense. Surely Jashin couldn't force affection like that... Maybe he could provide the circumstances for it to develop.. Maybe he was just a really good manipulator. But how could a god so cruel as to somehow kill the man Hidan loved, want to make him fall for Shikamaru?
What the hell was the goal here?
He growled out loud in his frustration. And he swore he saw Itachi smirk, this only irritated him more.
"Am I making this situation more complicated than it is or is it seriously this fucked?"
Itachi only stared at him blankly before his eyes flicked down to the ring on Shikamaru's finger. "I'll be in touch if you should figure it out." With that statement he poofed into a bunch of crows that swooped out the window, And Shikamaru was finally alone.
"You know what?" He said, yanking himself to his feet. "Fuck this. Screw this whole situation. I'm done with it."
He made up his mind, he would 'break-up' or whatever the hell, with Hidan and tell him to get lost. If he got pissed and wanted to fight, oh well. He'd use Jashin's power to slay him and then he would go soak himself in fucking holywater for a week and tell Jashin to go fuck himself too.
And he'd get back with Neji and go back to how it should be. And if Neji wanted no part of him, he'd drink himself into a stupor and... well... he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.
He was done. He wanted out. He didn't even like Hidan, and Hidan probably didn't like him. It was all a giant scheme by Jashin...
Hidans lips brushing against his. Rough hands tangled in his hair and running down his back. Solid muscle hidden under soft pearly skin. The unexplainable satisfaction at how right it felt to feel something so wrong.
Shikamaru blinked the image away.. he... he had to beleive it wasn't real. His chest clenched painfully at the thought, but he had to beleive it. He could use it if he needed to kill the priest. Use the side effects of being a Jashinist to help him break free of this curse.
It was lust. They were both lonley and sad and when they found comfort in each other it blossomed into lust. But that's the only four letter L-word it was.
He loved Neji. He knew he did... You don't just fall out of love. It was forever... wasn't it?
He missed Neji, he knew. But that last nightmare, he had accepted Hidan and rejected his ex...
But that had been a manipulation too... hadn't it?
DAMMIT! How could he make choices when he didn't know what was real or not! It was no fucking wonder Hidan was insane! No wonder he pretended to be a moron! Trying to figure this out was excruciating.
Realizing he had meandered into his bedroom, he let himself collapse onto the bed, stretching out on his stomache and resting his head on crossed arms.
His eyes slid shut, feeling as if he had bricks tied to his eyelashes.
This had skyrocketed past troublesome and crashlanded on planet bullshit.
He smiled, he was even starting to sound like Hidan in his thoughts.
-o-
A/N- Okay, uugh. I'm probably seriously going to wait and rest awhile before trying to do another chapter, seeing as it's the weekend. I'm so terribley, terribley tired, I can't even write, I had to delete a large portion of this chapter like twice because I went off on some tangent that pretty much didn't even make sense.
Hopefully I got it right now, and it makes sense. If not I suppose I'll have to sacrifice myself.
Anyway, All I have to say regarding this chappie is Don't be mad at Neji. In case you didn't understand, basically Shikamaru's nightmares were Jashin's doing. The real Neji really had nothing to do with them.
There's going to be lots of drama-ey goodness in the next chap, so.. uhm..
I don't even remember what I was gonna say...
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