AN:In light of last episode I felt it was necessary to be quick with this update... I mean WHAT WAS THAT!? I have no words... My McSwarek heart is just taking a beating this season.

I had to cut this in half because it was way too long, so I hope it doesn't come across as Sam loving Marlo, if it does his motives will definitely be clarified next chapter.

Anyways, hope you like it!

Thank you for reviews/favs/follows again!

True love is selfless. It is prepared to sacrifice. - Sadhu Vaswani

As he climbs the last stair on the 12th floor of Oliver's new apartment complex– for the umpteenth time, with heavy boxes– he's finally had enough. So with the decision that this will be the last one he carries up, he moreso aggressively tosses the box to the floor, than gently places it as per Oliver's request, causing it to make a big bang when it lands.

"Whoa, easy brother!"

And what the hell are even in these...
He hasn't asked just because they're labelled Celery, but screw propriety. He deserves to know what he's been lugging around all day.
He reaches into his back pocket for the Xacto knife he had been using, runs it along the tape holding the flaps together.
"Rocks? I just carried boxes upon boxes of rocks in here, is this a joke?"

"They're not rocks, they're crystals. Celery, she uses them for...spells or something. I don't know." Oliver tells him absentmindedly as he searches through his own box.

"Right. Of course, crystals for the witches spells. How could I not have known." He rolls his eyes and plops himself down on the couch.

"Ya, ya..."

"I don't know man, jumping in like this, so soon. How do you do it?"

Oliver called Sam up last week, told him the news. Asked him to help him move– Between Sam's truck and his van they figured they'd get it done in a day. That was of course before they knew the elevator was broken.
Sam had some choice words for him upon this discovery, to which Shaw had his own sarcastic replies of; how the hell he was supposed to know..
Then Sam obviously mentioned the witch girlfriend. Oliver, well had to point out– Witch not psychic, Sammy–
And ya, you get the point...

Shaw looks up at him, has this far away look in his eyes, "I don't know. I guess I just have a feeling, you know?"

"Ya I get that."
That feeling, he was familiar with it. That feelings what had him running scared.
This girls trouble.
He knew from the beginning she was gunna turn everything upside down.
But what can you do, when you meet the right one that's it.
Problem was, that feeling never goes away, even when she does.

"You think I made a mistake? With celery?"

"No." He tells him with no hesitation, doesn't even have to think about it, "I see you two together and I know she's right for you."

"Like you and McNally" Oliver suggest

"Exactly."
And crap...
He got him there– Oliver did– he knew it too, stands up and starts pacing around.

Sam though, he's gunna try and deflect, it's his MO
"It'll be interesting either way though right?" He chuckles "I mean if you guys get in a fight, just pull out her magic wand and expeliomis, acoonamatatis, bam fight over."

Oliver shakes his fingers at him, "No. No. This isn't about me."

"There's plenty of magic crystals laying around, I'm sure you could figure something out."

He's not letting him get away with it though, he finally got him to break, no way is he letting him off, "Let me tell you something man, I've been trying to get you to get your head out of your ass and realize McNally's the real deal for a year." He rubs his face, points at him "You know, ever since you've been out of uniform and she left you've been like some pod version of yourself, moping around."

"Name one time you saw me mope!"

"You mope on the inside."
Sam's smirking at that- thinks its some kind of joke- Shaw's always spouting some girly over analytical bullshit..
It's not though– bullshit– it's true.
"I know that might now make sense, but I see it and I bet Marlo sees it too. You may be some UC savant, but one things for sure, you've never been able to hide your feelings for that girl... Never."
It was true. They all knew from the start– hinting at the meaning behind extra coffee's and lending out his precious truck.
You and this rookie

"I miss her man," he tells him, like he's exhausted, like its been weighing on him for a long time, "I wish I didn't, but I do."
And Shaw– he's looking at him like its the greatest thing he ever heard.
"Ever since that night in the bomb shelter, it's been harder and harder to convince myself I don't. I've been thinking about the future, kids, park on Sundays, real life, something more than this...with her."

He's on a roll now, like Oliver finally cracked open that thing inside of him– that last thing holding it all in.
"And you know. Everything that happened before, it's like it doesn't matter anymore. I just want to be with her. Start a life with her."

Sam chances a glance at him– just quick though– he's too embarrassed.

Shaw can tell– he can see his discomfort– goes into a deep voice, his best Swarek impression, "Don't waste a good thing by keeping score man. Sometimes the best thing, is the thing you had"

Sam laughs, it's moments like this he's truly grateful for Oliver, "Where'd you hear that terrible advice?"

"Radio talk show..."

"Right." He takes a deep breath, gets serious again, "I thought I was supposed to move on"

"You don't move on from a girl like Andy, you dig in and you fight for her" he walks back over to the seat he had previously occupied, clears his throat and tells Sam seriously, "You gotta tell Marlo"

"What am I gunna say?"

"I don't know man. But you have to. she's gotta know on some level, and you know what that's not fair. I've been there, on the other side, with zoey okay, and it hurts. It hurts and it messes with your head."
And that–that makes him feel a whole new level of shitty. If he'd known what a mess this would be...
He just wishes he could go back, avoid all this pain. He never wanted anyone to get hurt, that was never his intention.

The digital clock beside her bed will not stop blinking. The stupid thing's been broken for two weeks–been meaning to get a new one, just hasn't gotten around to it.
She's been staring at it for a long time, every flash a reminder that she's gotta get to bed or be absolutely useless at work tomorrow–
Or rather, today.
4 hours till she's gotta leave for shift
And..
What's that thing people say about over thinking late at night? Major cause of depression or something?
Ya—
Makes sense.
A little self reflection could be a good thing though, right?
Sure.. A little.

Andy laughs out loud at herself when she thinks about what an idiot she's been in the last few weeks–
since she came back, actually.
She never realized it before, but... she was Jo.
Coveting someone else's man. Getting in the way of Sam and Marlo's relationship. Since she came back she always saw it the other way around. She and Sam were an "us" and Marlo, she was just in the way. But Sam wasn't hers anymore, he was Marlo's and she had to get that through her head.
Because she can't honestly say that if he tried something shed be able to say no, hell its all shes been thinking about as of late.
And that– well that was not something she was ok with.

The entire situation basically sucked. Sam was doing everything now, that she always hope he did when they were in a relationship. He was opening up to her, being patient and sweet, all the while staying true to who he was. Problem was– and it was a big problem– he was in a relationship with another women, he shouldn't be doing these things.

So along with her new found self shame, for being one step away from becoming Jo Rosati, came some major confusion. She didn't get it.. What did he even want from her? What was he looking for? He was talking more than he ever had, yet he was saying nothing at all.

In the wake of her new discovery into who she's becoming, she decides maybe a change in course is her best bet. She'd keep her promise to him and be there if he needed something, but she had to back off. At the end of the day she's better than this, no matter how much she still loves him, he was no longer hers.

And as she swears it to herself and is about to finally drift off into sleep, she hears a knock at the door.

The thing is though– with Sam Swarek– whenever he tries to do the right thing, it just doesn't work out.

He's hesitant at first, knocks only once..

Thinks this is probably an inopportune time to be at her door, coming here for the reason he's coming here. But if he doesn't do it right away he'll chicken out. He'll start to feel guilty and his need to do this will just drag on and on, until everything gets even more messed up.

She's surprised to see him there, "Sam, hey."

And he just shoots right in, no point in beating around the bush, "Hey Marlo, look there's something—"
But she cuts him off...
"Look, look at this, he has connections to two other unsolved homicides, one was his nephew! And the other one– well the other one was– well there wasn't an obvious connection, but they did frequent the same area."

She's frantically telling him all this information and Sam– well he's confused.
"Who? What are you talking about?"

"And you know, I know it wasn't a coincidence that one of his buildings is the one Quincy used as his dumping grounds. He wanted them there. He wanted to visit them. You know what, he probably even helped."

"What? Marlo, are you talking about Thomas Royer?"
Sam's face is all scrunched up like he doesn't even know what and Cruz– she's not even registering anything he's saying.

If this is what Oliver meant by messing with someone's head, well he's never been more sorry. She talking so fast that he can't follow a thing she's saying, so he just follows her as she scurries away to her room.

He's not prepared for what he sees though– papers scattered everywhere, some kind of story bored tacked up on her wall with surveillance photos of Royer and his buildings..
"Uuuh, when you said you were redoing your room, I pictured paint not... This."

"Huh, what? No. This is my stuff. This is what I found. Look, look at this, his phone records.. We didn't look into them because we found our guy, but he called this unlisted number constantly. I traced it back to a burner phone. I bet you it was Nathan Quincy's. they were a team, Sam, I'm sure of it."

"Whoa, Marlo, hey, slow down."

"Don't- don't do that."
Slow down.. She hated when people told her to slow down. "I know it's a lot, but I got this. I've been working really hard. I can get him."

He's trying to calm her down, doesn't understand why she's so worked up in the first place, "Look, don't worry about it, ok. You've done enough for now, why don't you just rest? Ill call the station for you."

"Rest! No I need to do this! Nobody else can see! But I can, I know Sam!"

And he's freaking out now, can't hide the desperation in his voice, "You need to step away from this."

He doesn't remember the last time he felt this screwed.
He's been panicked before– especially since McNally's come into his life– but this... this is something different, he's lost.
Did he cause this? Whatever this was...
He needs to figure out something to do, he needs help, but he can't leave her like this. He's worried about what she might do– christ, he's worried she's already done something.
It takes him a while but he finally gets her settled, drives her over to her aunts deciding its best he not leave her alone while he deals with this.

He planned on coming here at some point in the day, making some confessions, maybe a little grovelling, but this isn't exactly what he had in mind.

He doesn't know what to do and he just needs someone he can trust, his heads a mess and she's the only one who can keep him grounded like this.

He knocks on the door like six times, he's in a rush– no panic, he's in a panic.

The door swings open, but it's not Andy on the other side.
As if his day couldn't get any more opposite to how he envisioned it; army boy Nick Collins, is standing in Andy's doorway shirtless–
He's shirtless.. in her doorway..early in the morning...

After a long minute on silence, "Where's McNally?" Swarek barks at him.

And Nick– he's just eating this up, huge cocky grin on his face, "She's in bed. Can I help you with something?"

Sam sends him a nice sarcastic smile– that scary one he gets when he's real pissed off about something, "Ya, get me McNally."

"Yes sir."

And when Nick comes in her room and oh so nicely wakes her up by slamming a pillow into her face, she's a little cranky.
And then when he tells her that Sam's waiting at the door for her, on the day that she finally decided to close the book on him, she's more than a little cranky.
And when you add the fact that she just fell asleep, thanks to her over active brain and Nick showing up in the middle of the night wasted, she's about ready to punch someone in the face.

"What are you doing here?" She asks him, soon as he's in ear shot, doesn't even bother with 'hello'

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need your help."

She rolls her eyes at his implication, "what is it?"

"It's kinda of.." And the fact the Nick's just standing there–off to the side as if he's part of the conversation or something– it annoys him. "Look, can you excuse us for a second, Collins?"

"Sure thing. Actually Andy, do you mind if I grab a shower?"
And this kid cant be for real– Sam literally tunes out their entire conversation, something about conditioner and guest towels– it's that or stab out his ears.
And he's seriously regretting coming here, coulda done without the reality check. He knew deep down that she wouldn't wait around forever, but it still hurt.
"I didn't realize you had company."

"I didn't realize that was any of your concern. Why would that matter to you?" Nothing happened, Nick slept on the couch, but she didn't feel like that was information Sam should be privy too.

When he just stands there angry, not saying anything, she asks him why he's there.

"I... I need your help. I don't know what to do anymore and you're the only person I can trust with this."

"What's going on?"

"Uh, it's, Marlo she- well I don't really know."
And just like that her concern is gone,"You knocked my door this early in the morning for advice about your new girlfriend, are you kidding me Sam."

"No! Andy no! Look, I know this is... it's just, it's not like that. I think something's wrong with her."

"Why what happened?" She asks him as they make their way to the kitchen.

"She's just acting weird, you know? She's all over the place. She has all these ideas and she's talking so fast." He tells her
And he just looks so lost, "I went over there and she had papers all over the house. I don't know what to do."

She grabs some pods from the cupboard to put in the coffee machine, "What do you mean papers?"

Sam's rubbing his forehead with his hand, exhales real loud, "Like case files, stuff that shouldn't leave the station– stuff she shouldn't have. And like scattered everywhere. She freaked on me when I asked her about it. Told me it was her work and she had to figure it out, nobody else could see it."

Andy– she's leaning on the counter across from him, worried expression on her face.

"What?"

She knows what this is; sounded to her like Marlo went off her meds. When she looks up though, she can't find it in herself to tell him– pictures of Cruz desperately asking her to keep it a secret in the back of her mind. "It's not my place to tell you and I promised I wouldn't, so..."

"McNally"

"Just talk to her okay." She tells him as she turns to replace the cup under the Keurig with a new one.

Sam walks right up to her though, makes her look him in the eye, "McNally, what's going on? Tell me what you know."

Sill, she says nothing.
"Andy?"

And she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't want to tell him, but he's so desperate that she's worried it's worse than he's saying, so–
"She- she has bipolar disorder."

Sam he– he's at a loss for words. He knew something was up, but he was not expecting that. "Did she tell you that?"

"No I found out, but she made me promise not to tell. So I didn't." She shrugs.

He walks to the door and just stands there for a minute before walking back, "Look, I'm worried she might have done something. Can you just check on Royer? Make sure nothing weirds going on?"

And sure–
only that's a strange request, "Royer? The building owner we questioned in the serial murder case?"

"Yah" he sighs, "she's been investigating him. Her apartments covered in survailence photos of him. Bank records. Everything."

Marlo told her she had it under control, she said she was handling it. Andy can help but feel somewhat responsible for this. She should have done something about it sooner, before things got out of control.
"Ya, just go make sure shes ok."

She like just stepped away from Shaw.. She's been trying to for maybe 20 minutes, but he's going on about becoming a new man and me time and celerys witch tricks (like bedroom witch tricks)–which is just something she didn't need to know–
And like they're at work..
So she's basically in a squat, crouched behind a dumpster on the other side of the street. It smells like sour milk and her quads are cramping up, but she doesn't wanna be seen or heard, so...

She was gunna check on Royer before work, but Nick insisted he drive her, on account of him drunkenly coming over the night before ranting about who knows what.
And then when she got there, she found out she was partnered with Oliver and he always has to go for a morning snack– every morning, no matter what.
So she runs into the store and grabs it for him, she figures she can leave him with that and pop in on a friend while he waits in the car.
Only thing is, on their way over there they get a call...
And the address they're sent to.. It's his building..

And Sam, he's probably ripping out his hair worrying about what mess Marlo could have made for herself–
what mess Andy got into, since its been over 3 hours and she hasn't called him back.

"So..." He says when he answers, no greeting or anything.

"Royer, was attacked last night."

He doesn't say anything to that and McNally– she can just picture the look on his face, "Marlo was here. She went through his stuff."

"Shit."

And as if that wasn't bad enough,
"Sam, there's something else.. He's uh, He's dead."

"You don't think she had anything to do with that, do you?" He asks her, like as if he's offended by the prospect of it– that and maybe the littlest tiny bit of doubt.

"No, of course I don't, but she was here."

"Okay, are you still there– at the crime scene?"

"Mhmm"
And she just wishes he'd hurry up and say what he has to say so she can get out of there. The smell is horrendous and she'd rather have been done with wall sits when she was done with high school track.

"Is there anything that puts her there?" Sam asks her seriously

But she can't be sure, the place is gigantic, "I don't know, maybe"

"Can you get rid of it?"

"Why would I do that?"
The fact that he would even suggest... She can't.

"Andy, please. If Marlo becomes a murder suspect.."

"Ya, all the work she did falls apart, I remember."
She had been so grateful to him that day– her father and the whole Calisiac thing– she knew then that he'd always have her back. "You're sure she didn't do it?"

"She didn't do it." He tells her, no longer any hint of question in his tone.

"You realize what you're asking of me right?"

"I'm asking you to do the right thing."

"You can't possibly think that!"
Except she knew that's exactly what he thought. She knew him, he had no problem colouring outside the lines when it came down to achieving what he thought was a good.

"We were in this same boat a couple years ago and it worked out."

"It's not! We kept everything in-tacked and looked for other suspects, we didn't disturb a crime scene and destroy evidence, Sam."
She knows he'd do anything to protect the people he cares about– knows this isn't just about Marlo– it's about him being the saviour, or whatever. Doing what he can to make sure everyone else is ok.
Jerry had it right,
I know no matter what you'll always have my back.
She knows ever since then– since the one time he didn't– there won't be a time he doesn't have someone's back.

And she gets it– wanting to protect people, look out for them, but where's the line? She took an oath and even if its for the greater good, she can't help but feel bad.

That's the difference between her and Sam, he's willing to go that extra mile to do what it takes and she, well– that's where they come to a crossroad, that moral grey area–

"Don't ask me to do this, please don't ask me to do this."

He hears how bad she doesn't want this– in her voice– he also hears that she won't be able to say no if he asks, shed do anything for him.
And he can't do that to her, can't put her in that position, "You're right. Okay, I'm sorry. I should never have asked you."

But he can't do this alone and she's– she's all he's got, "Can you just... Can you try and find the person who actually did it.. As fast as possible?"

"What are you gunna do?"
And she sounds so broken– broken and scared.

"Well I'm gunna bring these case files back to the evidence room for one.."

Then McNally's convinced he's completely lost his mind, "Sam, you can't! They're already digging into this! Royer complained about getting treated poorly, the brass is all over it. There's no way you can sneak them back without someone catching you."

"Well I'm gunna have to, I mean I don't have any better ideas, what am I supposed to do? If they find out these files are missing from evidence they're gunna know one of us took it. It's gunna turn this whole thing into an internal investigation, ISU is gunna get involved, Marlo could lose her badge."

"Say you get them back without anyone seeing, then what? She's still gunna be linked to it by whatever they find here."

"I don't know, I guess, I'm gunna try and keep them off Marlo till you can figure it out."

Gunna try and keep them off Marlo, she knows what that means..
She just hopes that this time he doesn't go too far over the line– this time he stops when he gets close to the edge.
Because there's a point a point at which protecting someone goes to far– a point at which you gotta start to look out for yourself..

Or maybe that's just her looking out for him– who knows..
"Don't do anything stupid." She tells him, then hangs up the phone.

When she turns around Oliver's suddenly just... There.
"What's going on McNally? Who was that?"

She can't help but wonder how much he heard, "Nothing, it was just Sam."

"Everything okay?"

And he's so concerned that she almost wants to just tell him what's going on, but she doesn't– "Ya, I uh, ya... C'mon we got work to do."

So Sam– he's in a mad dash to get these files back up to evidence before anyone goes looking for them, he's just hoping he's not too late.
He's like three desks and a hallway away when–
"Swarek"

And if it isn't his favourite person in the whole wide world, "Callaghan, hey. What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question, Frank said you had today off."
He's looking at him with that boyish smile and Sam can't remember a time when he didn't wanna hit him. "Ya I uh, was bored at home, decided to come in, see if I could get anything done."

"Hmm.." Callaghan nods and points at the box in Sam's hands– the box Marlo stole from evidence– the box he was currently trying to sneak back in "What's that?"

"Huh, case files." Sam shrugs.

Luke– he nods again, "Ya, no some metal and tin guy was murdered, had issues with your division, so I was called in. You know how they get with accusations like that."

"Right." He has that fake smile on his face, the one he reserves for Luke,
his good buddy
He clears his throat, "Who's uh, who's the victim?"

"Thomas Royer. Suspect in the serial killings you guys solved couple weeks ago. Congrats on that by the way! Thats a big bust."

"Oh. Thanks." And when Sam shakes his hand it takes everything in him to hold back from crushing it, "Royer huh, ya I questioned him actually. You find anything?"

"No, not yet. I'm actually just heading down to evidence to get whatever you guys already have on him."
And that's just frigen fantastic! whatever they have on him is in Sam's hands and he can't exactly hand it over to him.

"Oh, well I'm heading down there right now," he tells him– holds up the box as to show why, "I can grab it for you." And Sam's pulling some serious UC skills here and seriously failing.

"Nah its ok, we can walk down together."

"I don't mind."
And a first day rook could see Swarek was up to something. Luke though– he lets it go, gives him a wary look, "K... Ya sure, thanks. Ill be in Franks office."

Sam smiles and nods, waits for Callaghan to walk away before releasing the breath he'd been holding.

Shaw's walking away from her shaking his head–
because this girl, she has got to be kidding, "McNally, three witnesses said he got into it with a girl, I don't understand why you're so gung-ho on going after a guy."

"I just have a feeling okay, will you go with me on this?"

"We're gunna ignore everything we've found... because of your feeling." He points at her, then real sarcastically, "That's an interesting new style of policing there McNally, it's really great."

"c'mon" she pleads with him, "aren't we taught to trust our gut?"

"Ya, but not when everything you've found contradicts said feeling"

"Please?"

"You know what McNally, i have a better idea.. why don't– Why don't you tell me what this is really about." He says to her seriously.

And Oliver– he can always call everyone on their shit. No way was he gunna believe there wasn't something behind this. And Andy really wants to tell him– she does.
But, Marlo... and its not even her secret.
"Nothing huh...?" He says after watching her internal debate, "Just a feeling." And he gives her one more chance to fess up, but nope– "Alright well, whatever you say Andy. Why wouldn't I go along with this, what with you being so completely straight forward an honest with me? I owe it to you really...partner."
And he's bitter–
Of course he is..
Still though, "Oliver.."

"No it's fine.." He tells her, as insincere as she's ever head him, "Eric Beckfluers it is!"

Swarek, he's a little rusty in the lying game apparently, because Callaghan is totally suspicious. It probably didn't help that he was being so overly polite– Sam's not exactly mr friendly– and everyone and their grandma knows he can't stand Luke.
After delivering the files he asked if he needed any help on the case, hoping Luke would send him out into the field.
And well– not only did that not happen, but he was now stuck debriefing him on everything Royer.
He steps away for a minute to call McNally– feels like shit for asking her for another favour, but he doesn't know what else to do, "Look, I'm stuck here with Callaghan, can you just check and see if they have anything on her? You don't have to do anything with it, just give me a heads up."

"I'm with Oliver, we're looking for a suspect."
She can see him rolling his eyes beside her, undoubtedly certain it's Sam she's speaking to– and with him being like the all knowing spiritual advisor of 15 division, he tends to get a little judgey.

"Ollie's fine on his own, it'll be like 10 minutes tops."

"What happened to 'back up your partner no matter what'?"

"If he needs something hell call. He's not dumb."
And she doesn't know what's wrong with her because she just can't say no to him. One year, a UC operation and new girlfriend later– she's still putty in his hands.

"Oliver?" She asks him, knowing he saw it coming.

And he did, but still– "C'mon, McNally.. Seriously?"

It's not that he doesn't want them together, he does; hasn't made a secret of it, but the two of them tend to get into some trouble together.
Sammy– Oliver loves him like a brother– but he doesn't always make the best decisions.

"I'll be back soon I promise. Don't peruse Beckfluer without me."

And she's already dashing out of the cruiser before he has a chance to tell her, "Do what you gotta do, McNally."

She doesn't even know what Sam's expecting, It's been hours– probably they already collected all they need to collect.
Only the place is huge and they're still looking around when she gets there.

"Does Marlo have a blue scarf?" She asks him when he gets to a place he can talk freely.

"I don't know."
He doesn't pay much attention to her...
To her clothes– he pays attention to her

"We'll ask her."

"I'm still at the station dealing with Callaghan, I brought her to her aunts"

And she's seriously annoyed at this point, she's been running around all day for him– pissing off Oliver in the process– and he can't even provide the answer to the simplest question.
"Well there's a women's scarf here and it has blood on it."

"The victims blood?"

What does he think she has her own lab that can run unauthorized tests to find out that information.
"Don't know."
He can tell she's annoyed, but seriously...

"One sec Oliver's on the other line." She tells him.

When she answers though, it's not Oliver's voice she hears, "Hello officer McNally."

She looks at her screen again, wonders if she read it wrong, but no– Oliver Shaw mobile– "Who is this?"

The voice is gruff, vaguely familiar, from like another life or something,
"You don't know? That hurts."

And she feels like she's trying to remember a dream after she's woken up– some weird sense of deja vu, "Where's Oliver?"

"I'm surprised you care, you left him all by himself after all."

The voice, it has a taunting cheer to it, gives her goosebumps, "Beckfleur?" She wonders.

"No you stupid rookie, there is no Beckfleur, I made him up!"
And that condescending angry tone... Was that... No it couldn't be.