Recurring Nightmares
So much darkness. Real darkness, theoretical darkness, it was everwhere.
He felt disgusting, but not in a way that could be fixed with a shower. He was so angry, so frustrated, so confused. This couldn't be all that there was, all that was left... He didn't even know how to feel about it, he couldn't even categorize it in his own mind.
Shikamaru knew he was asleep, as he sit in the single orb of illumination amidst an inky blackness. Not the same as before, it wasn't empty. No, it was so heavy and full that he almost felt like he were submerged in a jar of honey, except it wasn't sweet.
At least he could breathe, and he focused on his breathing as a way to keep his mind from doing that stupid thinking thing it always did. He didn't want to think, it was too hard. He didn't have the energy. He could even admit that he was happy to be alone in this murky nothingness that surrounded him. He did not want to be lonley, but that's not what this was. To him it was just a small break from the chaos his life had become.
He hadn't had a nightmare in so long, it felt like. Even though it was only a matter of days. There had been so much emotional and now even physical trauma cram-packed into it that he felt he no longer had any rational sense of time.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
Why Jashin? Just tell me why, and I'll never question you again.
He did not expect to hear an answer, and the silence did not surprise him. He merely stared into the thick dark.
At least he wasn't hurting. He wasn't happy but he wasn't in pain. He knew his real body was currently recovering from that nasty little cut he'd gotten. He wasn't even upset about it... He'd once again kept Neji alive through another of his two past and present lovers encounters. And he had protected Hidan as well, though at a bit of a cost.
It was cutting it close, he would admit. If those two met again, he may very well not survive... and honestly the thought did nothing to him. It was merely a fact, that he would die to protect either of them. He wasn't surprised in the least that this had no emotional effect of him. At this point it was just something he'd come to realize.
"You're so noble, my child. A rare quality to retain under the stress you've been put through."
Shikamaru lifted his head wearily to the familiar voice, one so deep that he could nearly feel it in his bones.
He did not expect to see someone, however. Standing in front of him, towering over his slouched and seated form. He'd only expected the bodiless voice that usually spoke to him in these situations.
His mouth dropped further and further open as his eyes trailed up, up, up until they finally met with this strangers. Brilliant yellow orbs with a rectangular pupil, somehow adding malevolance to what would other wise be the most beautiful man he'd ever seen.
Wild, sheer black hair that flowed like water around his face, down his broad shoulders and defined pectorals only to fade away into the thick darkness that seemed to pool even heavier around him.
Perfectly unmarred porceline skin that bordered on angelic shaped a rugged but still somehow gently feminine face. Lips that looked like they were made for no other purpose than to kiss you into an abysmal state of euphoria curled upward at the ends.
"I'm pleased, I'll say. And maybe even interested in how you remain so neutral, given all that has occured in your recent life. I have filled you with hate and I have given you pleasure in all the places that have broken many others. And you still do not succumb. It's... intruiging."
Shikamaru stared, speechless. He knew without a single doubt who this person was, yet at the same time the belief would not claim his mind.
Again he was struck with the thought that Jashin is real. Even though he had believed, he still had not believed.
And he would never have expected him to look as such. Not for the fact that he thought he would appear as something else, but for the assumption that as the omnipitent being he was, he would have no form at all.
Jashin lifted a hand to his chin, delicate and deadly with some sort of weapon built onto his fingers that had them ending in fearsomly sharp metal talons.
On his right shoulder was a large metal plate, carved with the indescribable design that was much like the daggar Hidan had showed him, and topped with three huge horns, each longer than the last.
Futher combinations of tight black leather and intricately decorated metal wrapped itself around his arms and lower body, leaving the delectibley perfect chest and abdominals bare, outlined with hipbones that protruded just enough to be drop-dead sexy without making him seem emaciated.
Holy shit... No wonder Hidan never shut up about this man.
Random assortments of buckles and straps filled the leather with all kinds of spikes and other sharp weaponry sporatically hanging from him in a display that would be overkill on anyone else, but on this perfect being only added to the level of arousing danger he eminanted.
"You ask why, always wanting to know why. And yet you're never specific, my son. You cannot ask questions like such and expect satisfying answers. You're so innocently tainted, it's curious."
Shikamaru tried to force words from his gaping mouth, unsure if he was being rude in his relentless staring but unable to do anything else. Jashin did not give him any clues with the way he was regarding him either.
"You... you're.."
Jashin smiled, wickedly devious and tantalizingly sweet at the same time. "Yes. I am, Shikamaru Nara. Are you so surprised?" He paused, as if waiting for an answer but knowing he wouldn't receive one from the awestruck man below him. "You're so stubborn, really. It's admirable and insufferable at the same time. So here I am." The gorgeous being let out a lighthearted chuckle that made Shikamaru's skin crawl. "And even now you doupt me."
The spikey haired man blinked, trying to urge his brain into producing rational thoughts instead of just screaming at him over and over that there is no way this is really happening.
"This... this is a dream.." He finally breathed, and Jashin continued regarding him with unreadable expressions.
"It is whatever you make of it, my child. As are all my gifts. However your free samples have come to an end. Repairing mortal bodies is not such an easy thing to do, and because neither you nor dearest Hidan have given me anything other than your own blood, my means of assisting you are running thin."
Shikamaru rose to his feet only due to the small amount of panic at the recognituon of what the demon before him was suggesting.
"I am hungry, child. And though the two of you have been ever so entertaining, I cannot survive of blood alone. Consider it the same as trying to survive on candy. So, if you'd like to make negotiations, now would be the time. My patience is running thin in circumstance to this Hyuga business."
Shikamaru's stomach did a somersault. Holy shit, the great and powerful Jashin was trying to make a deal with him instead of just forcing him to do what he wanted. This was... good? Bad? He wasn't sure... The slaughter god must obviously be aware that he is not going to simply let Neji die. So he's offering to change the terms of the Hyuga family's curse...
This.. this was too perfect! It was exactly what he needed!
"Does Hidan... erm... feel the same way about me? As I do for him... I mean.."
Jashin leaned forward ever so slightly, putting his hands behind his back, traces of amusement evident in his ghost of a smile. "I don't think you need to waste time asking aa question with such a clearly evident answer, my son."
Shikamaru blinked, suddenly feeling like an utter moron as he recalled all the glaringly obvious signs that he hadn't even noticed before. He had taken care of him during the infection, showed him how Jashinism worked, healed his aching insides. Just a few hours ago he had given up the pursuit of Neji, whos soul Jashin was still after, in order to get him out of that disgusting sacrificial chamber and bring him to his own apartment. After that stupid interruption by the shark-man he remembered as being Itachi's associate, the zealot had remained almost constantly beside him, cleaning his wounds, changing his bandages, slipping pain pills and antibiotics into the water bottle he helped Shikamaru drink from... Hidan wasn't the kind of person to do such a thing. He knew it without even knowing, though it wasn't a hard conclusion to come to. If he didn't care about you then he literally didn't care.
Even before everything had happened, back at the old house in the small town, Hidan had tried so hard to gain his friendship. He'd shown interest in him even then. Shikamaru had attributed it to some plot to steal Neji's soul, which it may have halfway been. But why go to all the trouble of befriending the Nara? Why not just kidnap Neji in their sleep and be done with it...
"I find it amusing that you still don't know him at all." Jashin said, tearing Shikamaru from his heart-wrenching day dreams. "You should understand him more than anyone."
Taking a deep breath, He steeled himself. He had to do so to make the deal he was about to make with the God of chaos, destruction, and death. It wasn't an easy one to make, and once again he was not only shouldering an unecessary burdan, but he was doing so just to save not only Neji's soul, but Hidan's as well. It was the only way to settle the debts and satisfy Jashin.
"Come, Shikamaru... Let's have a chat..." Jashin said, giving him a smile that could melt a glacier and freeze the sun.
-o-
His eyes opened slowly to stare up at the familar apartment ceiling. He could sense right away that he was alone in his bedroom.
The clock on the wall said it was just after 6 p.m. But gave no clue as to what day it was. Not that he even cared, at the moment. He could hear muffled conversation going on in the other room, broken by an occasional loud vulgarity shouted by Hidan. It was comforting to know he was no longer in a panic, concern on the annoying man was definitely adorable, but he wanted everything back to normal, even his irritating albino lover.
He felt... strange, now that he was awake. The Jashin dream had seemed to last forever, in fact it had been getting to the point where he thought maybe he hadn't even survived.
"I want to take the Hyuga curse onto myself." His own voice echoed in his head. He.. he didn't feel any different, though he didn't know why he would. It's not as if it would have any sort of tangible effect on him.
He couldn't even be sure it was there, aside from just trusting the demon God to hold to his words. But at least this way Neji would be taken out of the equation. He hoped so at least.
"It's a delightful concept, my child. I love your devious little brain. And the fact that it will only work because of your unique situation intruiges me further. It's close to an offer I couldn't refuse, the chance may never come again..."
It was downright eerie to have sat there and made what was basically a deal to sell his soul with the revered Jashin. And he had to constantly chase away the doupt that flooded his mind whenever he wondered whether it would work out or not. This plan, unlike many of his others had all the room for error in the world.
He tried to sit up and groaned loudly when pain shot through his chest as if he'd been stabbed all over again.
Immediatly it went silent in the livingroom and Shikamaru tried to control his suddenly labored breathing, just waiting for someone to come bursting in the door. What he didn't expect is that it was Itachi who finally peeked in. He vaugley remembered Hidan telling him to come.
The corners of the Uchihas mouth crooked up as he stepped fully into the room. "Good afternoon, Shikamaru." He closed the door behind him, which didn't strike the Nara as odd until the Sharingan users stepped to the window and peeked through the blinds.
"How long was I out?" He croaked, clearing his throat immediatly after and nearly gagging at all the phlegm and who fucking knows what else that came loose.
Itachi absently handed him a styrofoam cup just in time for Shika to hawk it in and apologize for the display. The raven-haired man waved it off.
"About 37 hours. A day an a half. Are you feeling better?"
"Considering I was on the verge of death... yes." Shikamaru said, pushing away Jashins words as they threatened to float back into his mind. He didn't want to think about it anymore. The deal was made and it was over with. All there was to focus on now was recovery.
"Are you well enough to get up?"
Shikamaru gave the man a sideways look. "Uh.. I don't know I haven't tried." Even though he did..
Itachi sighed and ran a hand through his bangs, an action that would not mean much coming from anyone else. It was very un-Itachi-like, however, and Shika's brows creased in concern.
"Why, what's going on?" His heart immediatly began racing, sending waves of pain rippling through him with each beat. Dear Jashin, If Itachi freaking Uchiha the living robot was worried then it wasn't something to take lightly.
He was regarded with dark, hesitant eyes for a long moment. "I have some.. very troublesome news. You remember Kisame?"
Shikamaru nodded, who could forget a half-shark hulking giant of a man with blue skin and even bluer hair? He'd apparently spotted Hidan and followed him back to the apartment after the whole calamity that occured at what Shikamaru could only assume had once been the loyal jashinists residence. At least.. that's what he'd gathered from their conversation they'd had idley while Shikamaru thought he was dying.
Such wonderful friends he had...
"Well, he was seeking me out to inform me that... it seems Kakuzu has finally made a reappearance." He shifted uncomfortabley as he talked, and Shikamaru wondered breifly why he seemed so much less refined than usual.
At least until Itachi's words sunk in and bitch-slapped that thought right out of his head. Kakuzu was alive? After being MIA for nearly a year plus another month. First of all, nice one Karma, your blessings continue to rain down. And second of all, WHAT THE FUCK?!
He finally fixes the problem with his ex that seemed to be a nightmare, and now there was /Hidan's/ baggage to deal with?! And Kakuzu... that man was on an entirely other level than Neji. He was on a whole new planet.
"Kakuzu. As in Hidan's Kakuzu. He's alive?"
Itachi nodded somberly. "He showed up a few days ago, Kisame was there when he did. And he appears to be upset... very upset. I would assume he's looking for Hidan as we speak."
Oh shit.. Oh fuck... Oh shitfuck. Kakuzu was mad. Judging by the. elder Uchiha's sudden personality change, Kakuzu wasn't just upset, he was probably angry as hell.
Oh no.. if he showed up here.. And found out what happened... OH JASHIN he didn't even want to think about it. Just the imagery alone would bring on a panic attack.
"...Does Hidan know?"
"No. I was unsure of how he might react, I thought it best to... let you tell him. Perhaps you'd be able to keep him calm."
"You think he's going to be mad too?"
A crease of doupt made itself present on Itachi's forehead. "Not nessisarily. I'm thinking he's either going to be in shock, or possibley run for his life."
Shikamaru scoffed at this. Good, they could both hop a boat and sail to a new country. Start spreading the word of Jashin overseas.
"You remember when I told you Hidan went on a rampage?" The Uchiha continued, pausing until Shika nodded. "Well I wasn't exaggerating. He destroyed everything. The house and everthing inside it was demolished and burned to a crisp, even the hidden chamber had collapsed."
Oh Jashin... You're probably laughing your ass off wherever you are.
"Oh shit..." He breathed, staring wide eyed at the ceiling.
"My sentiments exactly... Kakuzu values very little in this world more than his hard-earned money and investments. If he gets a grip on Hidan then he's not going to stop beating him for days. And I can't even fathom how he might act when he finds out about you two. He may be rational or he might try to kill you."
The matter-of-fact way that Itachi stated this was only making it harder for Shikamaru to process the thought. This was terrible. Kakuzu was quite literally among the top five biggest reasons he had feared Hidan in the first place. To be with such a man, and survive the things Kakuzu did to him would be a nightmare in itself. He'd forgotten until now how positively obsessed with pain the zealot must be to be happy in a relationship like that.
Holy hell, he was really glad Hidan hadn't asked him to do anything like that.
"...We need to get the fuck out of here." He grunted, forcing himself into a sitting position. Oh damn that hurt. Shit, when would he be able to convert pain into pleasure? Cause this was getting old...
"Not unless you are well enough. If we go out in the open there's a greater chance of him locating us."
"So!? If we stay here and he finds us then theres nowhere to run."
Itachi was silent at this. There was probably nowhere to hide and runing would likely only agrivate the older man. But there was no other choice. He didn't have the slightest idea what Kakuzu was capable of, but it didn't matter. Itachi could restrain Hidan with ease, something Shikamaru had trouble with even though he knew he was stronger than him. And If the Uchiha was worried, Shika should probably be terrified.
"How much time do you think we have?" He asked in between grunts as he pulled off the blanket and swung his legs to the side of the bed. Adrenaline spiked by his fear helped to overcome the pain, but even so he needed more time to heal. Surely at the rate he was going he would be at least somewhat useful in a few more hours.
"There's no way of knowing. Honestly I'm surprised he hasn't reached us yet. Kakuzu is the most skilled tracker I know, and Kisame beating him here is a miracle in itself."
Damn... this was not good. It was so not good. He may not even have time to explain to Hidan. They needed to go, like now. And unfortunatley that meant taking his car.
"Can you drive stick?"
Itachi looked almost insulted as he rounded the bed and held out a hand to Help Shikamaru to his feet. "Of course. Do I look like some teenager fresh out of drivers ed?"
Shikamaru shrugged, receiving a glare for it. How was he supposed to know? The only Akatsuki members he'd ever seen drive an actual car were that Sasori fellow and Kakuzu. "Well. There's no way I'm letting Hidan drive my car and I can't really go running around like this. So you'll have to."
"Kisame can drive." Itachi stated quickly. "I'd rather be able to pay attention to what's going on. He's quick to respond to orders and used to making decisions under stress."
Okay.. it really didn't make a difference who drove, as long as they were on the road in the next five minutes. Where the hell they would go had yet to be decided. At this point stalling for time was main priority. Kisame and Itachi were here to help, Hidan may end up being useless or even make matters worse, And Shikamaru would only get in the way until he could move without feeling like he couldn't breathe and whimpering in pain. Dammit, of all the times to be pierced with a goddamn sword...
How was he going to tell Hidan that Kakuzu was not only alive but on his way? He could just blurt it out.. But the smallest fraction of him was afraid of how he might react. Not that he may be scared or angry or even speechless, but that he might be happy. Well, of course he would be happy but... where would this leave them?
As if sensing that Shikamaru was thinking of him, the preist came barging in.
"What the fuck are you two so chatty about in here?" He stopped for a moment, violet eyes flicking back and forth between the hesitant glances they each regarded him with. "Why the hell are you lookin' at me like that?"
"Hidan, we have to go, I'll explain everything to you in the car but right now I need your help." Shikamaru said, wobbling on his feet and wincing as the stab of pain from standing upright. Hidan grimaced.
"What the hell!? That's all I've been fuckin' doing for like two goddamn days! Do I at least get a fucking thank you?"
Shikamaru smiled, giving Itachi a look before the elder Uchiha brother silently slipped from the room. He took a step forward, stumbling halfway on purpose. Hidan of course closed the distance between them to stabilize him and before he could pull away Shikamaru buried his hands in the silver hair he'd grown so fond of and crashed their mouths together.
It wasn't anything like the other few kisses they'd shared, but at the same time still held all the same emotion, if not more.
Hidan didn't struggle aside from a fleeting surprised expression, and roughly pulled the spikey haired Jashinist tightly against him, rewarded with a growl caused by pain and slight anger at the albino for causing it. He only deepened the kiss, running a tongue across Shikamarus lips and letting it dive inside when granted entrace.
The Nara closed his eyes, reveling in the ecstasy Hidan caused in his body, trying to ignore the persisting depression that tugged at the back of his mind. Thrusting his own tongue out, battling with the other for some unknown prize, he hoped and prayed to Jashin with everything he had that this would not be the last kiss he shared with the unholy, angelic, beautiful, terror of a man.
Finally he let his hands slide down the zealots neck, wrapping his arms around as he broke away, letting his forehead rest on a slightly heaving chest.
"Thank you..." He muttered, eyes still closed. "For everything Hidan. I mean it."
He wanted to say more, dear Jashin how he wanted to say those three little words in this perfect moment they had, frozen in time.
But... they weren't frozen. This would pass just as everything else did, fading into a memory no matter how he tried to keep it alive. And his brain wouldn't let him, it was too soon, there was too much of a risk for rejection... and those reasons dulled in comparison to the all-consuming pain he felt in his heart. A foreboding ache that something bad was going to happen when Kakuzu showed up, because really it was only a matter of time. He didn't want to believe it, he was just being paranoid, he reassured himself. But he couldn't help the feeling that maybe Jashin was trying to warn him, and also remind him of their deal.
He smiled slightly at this, Hidan would still be his, even if he wasn't...
"Why you gotta make everything awkward.." Hidan replied, lowering his chin to rest ever-so-lightly on the top of Shikamaru's head arms still settled in the small of his back.
"Just to bug you..." He chuckled in return. Then with a deep breath he free'd himself from the embrace. "Alright, toss me that shirt and that vest." He said, pulling off his old bandages to check on his wound. Hidan complied wordlessly, but Sgika paid no mind. He couldn't quite see it too well without a mirror, but it looked much better, there was already scar tissue forming around the edges. Damn, at this rate the hole had to at least be already closed up. He knew his lung had to have mostly repaired itself seeing as he could breathe just fine.
His vision was blocked breifly as the shirt he requested was tossed onto his head. He snatched it off to glare playfully at Hidan when he was vlinded again by the second article of clothing.
"Where are we going that's so fucking important all the sudden anyway?"
Shikamaru hesitated, unable to meet his lovers eyes as he contemplated how he was going to tell him. "I'll tell you once we're in the car."
This of course had Hidan eyeing him in suspicion and barely contained anger. "I'm not agreeing to anything until you and red-eyes quit acting so fucking shadey."
"Hidan please..."
"No. What the hell aren't you telling me. What the hell was that mushy shit about? What the fuck is going on that you can't tell me right fucking now? Even fish-brain out there is jumpy."
Shikamaru was still reluctant, chewing nervously on the inside of his cheek.
Hidan just growled and threw his hands up. "I'm just about fucking fed up with being treated like a goddamn kid. I'm older than both of you! Maybe I could fucking tolerate it from Kakuzu because he was a grouchy old fuck, but don't you do this shit to me Pineapple head, seriously. Or I'm gonna get pissed off."
Shikamaru closed his eyes and sucked in a calm breath. Fine.. he could do this. He was aware of Itachi and most likely Kisame standing just outside the door, ready to intervene if needed.
"Okay.. But you have to do what I ask okay? I just can't... I need you to help me at least until this stupid hole through my chest is gone."
The mentioning of this out loud subconciously drug his gaze across Hidan's, as usual, shirtless body. He had received three times the amount of injuries Shikamaru had and his body was flawless. Not even a single scar marred his skin. Damn.. maybe the healing process slowly worked faster and faster as the years passed by.
Hidan didn't respond aside from an unbroken, impatient stare. Shikamaru gathered himself, "Kakuzu is alive." He said in monotone, forcing everything from his mind as he watched Hidan's reaction.
The zealot just eyed him sideways. "That's not fucking funny."
"I.. it's not a joke, Hidan. That's why Kisame is here, he came to warn Itachi."
"Why the hell would he need to warn him about something stupid like that?"
"Because he's pissed to all hell. He's probably on his way here."
Then the silver haired Jashinist surprised the fuck out of him by bursting into laughter. Then he punched Shika a little too hard to be playful on the shoulder. "Right. Okay Pineapple head, whatever you say. Kakuzu is gone for a fucking whole year, twelve long fucking months, and all the sudden he's alive and coming to visit. I think I gave you too many pills."
The Nara just stared in disbelief. Did he seriously not believe him or was this some sort of 5-stage thing? Was he in denial? Did Hidan's mind even work like a normal persons?
"Hidan... He's not coming for a visit he's coming to rip you to pieces. And then when he finds out about us he's going to... well you probably fucking know better than I do."
Hidan opened his mouth to argue, judging by his expression, but just then a soft knock interrupted them and Itachi soft but strong voice drifted in.
"The clock is ticking.."
Hidan stared at the door, solemn now but still not seeming to understand the gravity of the situation.
"In case you didn't understand that means hurry the hell up! I wanna get out of this gross room ASAP!" Kisame barked. At this Hidan's eyes narrowed and he yanked the door open. "Well let's fucking go then." He said through clenched teeth, and stormed out of the room without waiting for Shikamaru to follow.
Itachi met his eyes and shrugged, then making the 'You first' gesture and waiting patiently as Shikamaru shuffled past him.
Even in those few minutes he was feeling stronger. Thank you Jashin. He was pretty sure he was getting an extra boost today... Even his leg had taken longer than this to get to a managable level of pain. Or maybe the adrenaline and his terror were just numbing him. Either way it was a good thing.
"Yeah, let's get out of here." Shikamaru said, glancing at Kisame. "I guess you're driving."
The shark-man crinkled his nose. "Driving? Who decided on that?"
"I did." Itachi said in Shika's place. "Shikamaru's not improved enough to outrun him. I'm going to keep watch. Have you decided where we're going to go?" The last was directed at the Spikey haired man, now at the front door following Hidan.
"It doesn't matter. We just have to stall for time. The more we stay mobile the longer it will take to find us." He replied quickly, Snatching his keys and tossing them behind him without looking.
"Very well. We'll meet you down there." The sharingan user stated at the clink of what Shikamaru assumed was Kisame catching the tossed item. When he turned to shut the door both men had already vanished.
He turned to look at a still solemn Hidan, and nodded before shutting it behind him.
-o-
Perched on the roof like a gargoyle, a dark hulking form watched below it through the hollow eyes of a mask.
A fast clattering rumbled from it's threaded body as it spotted two familiar forms spring from the window and silently make their way to the ground below.
That was the blue man it was told to follow, and had been waiting patiently for it's master to arrive at the destination it shadowed him to.
They were on the move again, which meant it was too.
It silently slid over the concrete edge and slithered down the building in a reptilian series of movements, following the blue man around the side of the building and quickly pressing itself into the shadows as two more figures appeareared around the same corner.
The blue man fiddled with a machine sitting idle on the strert and opened the door to place himself inside, and the other three followed suit not long after.
A presence invaded it's mind as it watched, the echo of a dark. chuckle sparking excitement in the beast and making it's stringy skin quiver.
"Delay them." A deep voice commanded, and it complied, leaping from the building and twisting into a barrel roll as it plummeted to the ground below. Spiderweb-like appendages unfolded from it's back as it fell, directing it's midair movements until it smashed onto the ground in front of the machine.
The shocked and alerted outburst from the men in the car make it quiver again as it opened the mouth of the mask serving as it's face with a crack and roared.
A sudden squealing made it's vision quaver and suddenly it was rammed by the machine and sent rolling to the side.
It recovered quickly, and within a split second it spread its wings and pushed off, rocketing into the air in pursuit.
xx
"WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT WAS THAT!?" Shikamaru shrilled as they skidded around the corner, blowing through the sawhorse barrier set up by construction workers and swerved through the destroyed part of the street.
He clutched at the seat in front of him and looked beside him to an even paler than usual Hidan.
"It seems we had less time that we thought." Itachi said calmly front the front passenger seat, turning to look back with Sharingan blazing. "That was one of Kakuzu's... helpers."
Shikamaru gaped at him. "What!? What the hell is that thing!?"
"One of his hearts. He has a total of five, normally."
"HE HAS FIVE FUCKING HEARTS!" The Nara shouted, turning from Itachi to the man beside him, who was unrealistically still in the joustling car.
"It's creepy huh?" Kisame laughed, making Shikamaru want to slap him for his nonchalance. "Not dieing is pretty freaky, but at least crap-for-brains here is normal aside from that."
"Kisame please focus on the road." Itachi ordered calmly.
"You got it babe."
Again Shikamaru gawked. "Damn, so you are together!"
"This is neither the time nor place to discuss my romantic life Shikamaru." The Uchiha snapped, eyebrow twitching.
"Is everyone in the Akatsuki gay!? Is it like a club for men who like men!? Is that why I almost got in!?" He continued, wanting to slap himself now for being so curious of such a thing under the circumstances.
"No. Please drop it." Itachi said, shifting to look through the sunroof at the beast pursueing them as Kisame chuckled behind the wheel.
"I'm pretty sure Pinnochio and blondie just haven't come out of the closet yet."
"SHUT UP!" Itachi snapped. "We have more important things to discuss right now! Shikamaru, if that beast has spotted us then we have very little time before Kakuzu is going to show up. Not enough time for you to fully recover. I suggest we try to get outside city limits-"
He was interrupted as the road ahead of the car suddenly exploded, Kisame maneuvered the vehicle around it just in time, though the windsheild cracked as a large chunk cement crashed into it and rolled off.
Damn, his insurance adjuster was not going to be happy after this.
"Yeah, sounds like a good idea." Shikamaru gasped, clutching as his chest with one hand and clinging to the back of the seat with the other.
"I don't think he's going to be in the mood to calmly discuss the situation if he's got that thing attacking us."
"I believe it's trying to stall us. It would not have missed if it intended harm." Itachi said over the roar of air as he rolled his window down.
The Shikamaru caught the blur of a bullet made of what looked like compacted air just before the road to the side of them erupted, shoeering the Uchiha in debree before it was left quickly behind them.
"Go faster!" Shikamaru ordered. "The cops know my plate, they won't interfere."
"I don't think they would anyway with that fucker on our asses." Hidan finally spoke up, causing two sets of eyes to land on him. "Then again they are pretty fucking stupid."
His eyes met Shikamaru's. They were swirling in a hurricane of emotions. It made his heart ache with concern not only for Hidan but for himself.
Please Jashin don't let him leave me.
He felt that little twinge, that reminder of their deal, and pushed the thought from his head. He wouldn't... not after all that had happened..
"Dammit!" Kisame swore, slamming everyone to the left side of the car as he narrowly evaded another explosion. Other drivers honked and swerved and skidded to a stop, and to Shikamaru's irritation and amusement he took the half-second to flip them off before flooring the gas pedal.
Apparently the Shark-man had a bit of road rage.
"Why the hell did I get involved in this!" He growled, "Anything that involves you two zombies is always a load of out-of-hand bull!"
"HEY SHARK-DICK! This isn't my fucking fault!"
"You didn't have to level your house! Just bitch and cry like a normal person!"
"You would be pissed too if you found out Red-eyes was dead!"
"ENOUGH!" Itachi snarled, leaving the whole car in dead silence. "How many fucking times am I going to have to point out that we are under attack. Save your childish bickering for another time"
There was silence for a moment, or what would be silence if the ground around them weren't erupting. Luckily they were on a multi-lane highway now. Though dodging the other cars seemed more of a hassle than neccesary, it was something that can't be helped.
Shikamaru sighed, he would surely lose his job for this, hopefully no innocent bystanders were injured or killed.
The speedometer was resting steadily on 100 MPH as they blew past the other drivers. Shikamaru tried to force away the memory of running over the rooftops in his unknowing search for Hidan. Now that he knew how fast that was, he seriously doubted he'd been going quite that speed.
"Hey where's your brother while all this is going on?" Kisame suddenly asked, making Itachi sigh in annoyance. "I asked him to tail Neji Hyuga and make sure he wasn't planning to cause any more trouble."
Shikamaru blinked, "I really hope he doesn't let Neji see him."
"Sasuke is aware of Neji's negative feelings toward him. If he's brash enough to take any action against him I will take care of it."
Time suddenly seemed to slow to a snails pace as the road beneath them erupted and the car was suddenly airborn. Kisame's face twisted, his pointed teeth clenched as he tried to regain control, Shikamaru wrapped both arms around the headrest in front of him when his butt left the seat, And Hidan braced himself but still remained uncharacteristically stoic.
A distant shout startled him before he realized he was the one who made it after realizing Itachi was no longer in the car. And when the wheels finally slammed into the ground, smashing the three back into their seats and letting time resume at a normal pace, he looked up only to see the lower portion of Itachi's legs attached to the cars roof with a faint chakra glow.
"IS HE FUCKING INSANE!?" Shikamaru cried, and Kisame just smirked.
"I think it's sexy."
"KATON!"
An orange glow enveloped the car breifly before the Nara twisted to see Kakuzu's monster barely evade a giant fireball. It's mouth cracked open and let out a barrage of air bullets, shattering the back window and tearing holes in the roof. Shikamaru managed to duck and avoid them, but re-emerged almost instantly as Hidan swore. One had caught him on the shoulder, and the blood was instantly gushing.
"GODDAMIT RED-EYES YOU FUCKIN' RETARD! DON'T PROVOKE IT!" He shouted, growling then at Shikamaru when he slapped his hands over the wound to apply pressure out of instinct.
His face smoothed out then, surprising the spikey haired Jashinist with a chuckle.
"You weren't fucking around with me after all huh?" He had a slight grin on, but it was easy to see through. The zealot was warring within himself, trying to come to some sort of conclusion but unable to. Shikamaru knew he loved Kakuzu, he had to. The things those two did to each other had to have love behind it to keep them together through the terrifying amount of violence.
He also knew Hidan felt strongly for him. And it nearly broke his heart to have to watch him try to make such a decision, unable to do anything but put as little pressure as possible on him.
He could empathize, but not entirely. Neji had not mysteriously dissapeared. He had left the relationship willingly. There were no loose ends, the relationship was over.
But Kakuzu did not know Hidan had moved on. He might not have even realized how much time had passed depending on the details of his absence. The other members of Akatsuki most likeley informed him of the general acceptance of his death... But... well, it was just a mess. All of this was one huge fucking hell of a drag.
"I wouldn't joke about something like that..." He replied softly.
Hidan sighed, long and slow. His eyes were planted firmly in the seat in front of him as the car swerved and bumped and screeched.
Suddenly the moment was ruined when glass suddenly rained down on them as Itachi shoved his foot through the sunroof.
He shoved himself back into his original spot just before the Uchihas lithe form dove into the seat between him, followed not half a millisecond later by a loud thunk that shook the car.
"SHIT!" Kisame shouted as the car fish-tailed.
A hand that looked like it was made of millions and millions of tiny threads reached down through the sunroof and grasped the headrest of the drivers seat, ripping it off with one jerk.
Shikamaru's breath hissed in at the pain of all this movement, and he yelped again as the Shark-man finally lost control and Itachi grabbed the Nara by the shoulders and shoved him down to avoid the monster latching onto him.
It shreiked when its lower body came loose of the roof and slammed into the side of the car, showering Hidan again with glass after the window exploded.
Tires screeched and Kisame was desperatly trying to get the vehicle out of it's parallel position to the road. They smashed through the metal barriers, the monster leaped off, and once the tires hit grass they were thrown into a roll.
Dirt and grass and what Shikamaru assumed was wheat or some other manner of crop flew in through every window. Bodies crashed against each other and the inside of the car, thrown around like a human version of pinball. Shikamaru saw stars and heard nothing but the sounds of destruction, clinging to conciousness as his chest violently erupted in pain and the rest of his body smashed into flesh and bone and metal alike. More blood spurted from his mouth when an elbow collided against his jaw and a knee rammed into his still-healing back simultaneously.
He was pretty sure he just kicked Itachi in the face before the back of the raven haired man's head somehow slammed against his own. And then when he thought he could not possibley experience more pain... it stopped.
The world finally held still and the dust settled as he stared gasping at the seat he had previously been sitting on, now over his head.
Shit, his insurance adjuster was going to be really unhappy.
Someone groaned in the sudden overwhelmig silence, Kisame, Shikamaru recognized. Hidan followed shortly with a breathey string of swears.
Itachi's body shifted, letting shards of glass and metallic flakes slide from his dark clothing, And Shikamaru tried to move the leg draped across him only to suck in a breath at the pain and then launch himself into a coughing/blood vomiting fit.
"Everyone alive?" Kisame croaked, his gravity defying blue hair peeking between the concave roof and the mangled seats.
"Red-eyes. I'm never getting in a fucking car with you two again.." Hidan said, grunting with effort as he pulled his foot free from the side of the car and the smashed frame of the back window.
"Hey I'd like to see you do better you albino idiot."
"FUCK YOU SHARK-COCK!"
"Both of you shut up.. I have a heachache." Itachi muttered. "Hidan get the hell out so I can escape this death trap."
"Keep your panties on I'm fuckin' workin on it." He growled, ripping his blood-drenched hand free. Then he rolled to the side and army-crawled out the back window. Itachi mimic'd him, and then leaned back over. "Do you need help?"
Shikamaru winced as he positioned his body to crawl out, trying to focus on his breathing instead of the stabbing pain. He probably looked absolutly pitiful, and Itachi's concerned look only re-enforced the assumption. He pulled himself forward, gritting his teeth but managing on his own.
"I think I'm okay.." He said, trying in vain to wipe the blood from his chin. Dear Jashin could his life get any more chaotic? Don't fucking tempt fate you idiot. Before he pulled himself any further, he reached up underneath the passenger front seat above him, and managed a small smile when his fingers touched cold metal. Without being able to look, he unsnapped the buttons and pulled the weapon from it's secured position, sliding it into a pocket on his vest. He wiggled his upper torso free of the car just as Hidan's feet came into view. "I don't see Kuzu's mask, Pineapple head. I think we might have killed it.."
Kuzu?
"If we killed it then we would find it's body. It's hiding until Kakuzu get's here." Itachi said from behind him, most likely tending to Kisame.
"I'm gonna beat the shit out of him for putting us through that, seriously."
"Hn. I'd like to see that."
"Fuck off Red-eyes, just cause you're scared of him doesn't mean I am..."
Shikamaru saw the black threads before anyone else did, creeping up from the very ground itself. He wouldn't have time to warn Hidan, and even if he did then the priest wouldn't have time to evade. Quickly he put his first two fingers to his lips and mutter his invocation word, and the shadows around him from the car bolted out and wrapped around the threads just before they wrapped around Hidan's ankle, and just as Itachi tackled him out of the way.
Sharingan activated eyes met his, and a nod of approval was given just before the ground quaked and the beast sprang from it, tossing soil everywhere.
Shikamaru sent a few more shadow tendrils out to wrap around it before it could do any more damage, but the monster, as if made of liquid, quickly wormed it's way out and took off like a rocket toward Hidan.
Finally aware of the situation Hidan easily leaped back, pulling out a retractable pike and swinging it until it reached it's full length. "C'MON FUCKER!" He snarled, lunging toward it and swinging.
Shikamaru, temporarily distracted as he watched Hidan stab and slice through the beast only for it to reform itself, nearly jumped out of his skin when a blue hand reached down and grabbed him by the back of his vest, pulling his free of the demolished car and hoisting him up to his feet all in one smooth motion.
"Sorry about your car.." The shark man said, grinning and stratching his head. Then he tossed something up that glinted in the light before taking off to assist Hidan and now Itachi too with killing Kakuzu's minion.
Holding his hand out, Shikamaru almost lost it when the keys fell into his palm. Instead he just closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and dropped them to the dirt below. He was about to sit himself down and try his damndest to recover when his body was suddenly covered in a shadow. With not a trillionth of a second to spare he dove forward, nearly feeling the breeze from the arm that had almost wrapped itself around his neck. He cried out when he hit the ground and rolled as a fresh wave of agony zapped through him, but he was on his feet and facing his attacker in a heartbeat.
The man hadn't moved. But he didn't need to. Shikamaru's heart dropped to his belly and his stomache lurched so violently that for a moment he thought he might throw up and pass out. He pulled the weapon he'd grabbed previously from his pocket and ignited it with a dark purple-black flame, holding it defensively in front of him.
Red and green, pupiless eyes seemed to laugh at him in his sorry state.
It was Kakuzu, in the flesh. Without his mask, he was quite possibley even more terrifying. His long chocolate hair shifted gently in the small breeze, and the stitches that stretched from the corners of his mouth back into some unseeable spot gave him a petrifying permanent smile.
Wearing only a halter-top type shirt, his stitches as every joint were exposed, making him look like some sort of terrifying science experiment gone wrong. Shikamaru gulped audibley as the monster his three comrades had been fighting landed heavily behind him, clicking deep within it's body as if laughing at them.
Daddy's home, now you're fucked.
Indeed they were.. Shikamaru thought. Fucked in the worst possible way.
-o-
A/N-
WHOOOOO!
I'M SO FUCKING EXCITED THAT KAKUZU'S BACK AND HAS A MUCH BIGGER ROLE THAN IN THE LAST ONE! I CAN'T STOP TYPING IN CAPS!
Oh, there we go. That's better. Sorry for yelling. Heh, I looove Kuzu, You all shoulda known I couldn't kill him. It's not in my heart... but it is in my heart to let him wreck the everloving piss out of everything and rage to his 5 little hearts content.
Anyway, did you all enjoy Jashin? I did, and Fluffy has a crush on him now. xD By the way, if any of you like to draw or know of someone who does requests, tell them to make me some fanart. That would quite literally be the best fucking thing that could ever happen in the whole history of history.
Well, not the best thing, but pretty fucking close.
Whoo! One seriously action packed chapter! I hope you guys enjoy because I'm exhausted after writing that, and pumped all the fuck up at the same time. Hopefully I prolonged it long enough and it wasn't just like.. wham-bam-nowyou'refucked.
I don't even know if that last phrase made sense.
ANYWAY I should get going so I can hurry up and start on the next chappieee. I'm not for absolute sure how many more there are, so I'm not going to tell you, but unfortunatley we are getting very near the end.
So, REEEHHHEEEE VIIIEEEWWW! And I shall give you all wonderful cake made by 'The official Jashin Impersonator' himself!
I love you all, thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful night/weekend.