Recurring Nightmares
Dingy motel rooms. Hard, disgusting matresses. Cheap toiletpaper.
He sighed, why did it all seem so glorious?
"Move the fuck over Kuzu, I'm fuckin' exhausted." He was shoved aside by an albino idiot, and even that small bit of happiness trickled out, replaced by anger.
Hidan clicked his tongue while looking around the room, hands on his hips. "Damn... you still know how to pick'em. This place is shit."
Counting to ten, the older man walked silently past him. Why had he agreed to Hidan spending the night with him again? Oh, right, so he could throttle him in peace. Yeah.. that was the only reason...
"Kuzu? Awe don't give me the fuckin' silent treatment! I haven't seen you in a goddamn year and you act like you aren't even happy to see me!"
"Shut up Hidan."
"Are you still mad? C'mon Kuzu... Don't be a grumpy old man, so not sexy."
Kakuzu jerked around to glare the moron into silence, surprised to find him so close that their foreheads nearly smashed together. Intimidation had no effect on Hidan, he was obviously over whatever submissive mood he'd been in earlier. Damn that ponytail kid...
Hidan smiled at him. A real smile, not that brainless grin he always had plastered on his face, but a smile that reflected in his soft, violet eyes...
Dammit, no. Don't do that to yourself. Hidan moved on, this arrangement is only for the night, then he goes back with whatever his name is. Pineapple head, Hidan calls him.
"I really missed you..." Hidan said softly, bringing his hand up to touch Kakuzu's face. The older man quickly grabbed his wrist and twisted roughly, ripping that smile from the albino's face and replacing it with a pained scowl.
"Gaahh! What the hell you old fuck?"
"I told you to shut up."
"Let go that fucking hurts!"
"I thought you liked pain."
"KNOCK IT OFF!" Hidan snarled, tearing his hand free. He glared at the older man for a moment before turning around and stalking to the bathroom. A moment later the sound of the shower nozzle running pervaded the air.
Good. He wanted to be alone anyway. Annoying, loud, vulgar brat. Let him throw his tantrum, he had nothing to be upset about. He'd apparently been having a hell of a time destroying and killing and sleeping around while Kakuzu had been stuck in that hellhole.
Hidan could just go wander off into traffic for all he cared. He'd rescued that idiot countless times out of his grave, so many nights spent digging away and hauling coffins out. So many nights spent sorting out body parts, stringing them back together. Not to mention all the money he /wasted/ moving from house to house to house every time the immortal fucked up and got himself killed. He had no idea how much it took for all those security deposits that they /never/ got back, all the moving vans, all the fucking sleepless nights he's stayed up trying to find a house with one of those stupid fucking tunnels beneath so Hidan wouldn't destroy the fucking bedroom when he dragged home his stupid sacrificial victims...
And the one time Kakuzu really needed him... He didn't come.
Stupid, spoiled, lazy, backstabbing brat!
Whatever... he wouldn't make the mistake again. Hidan would be out of his life permanently after tonight. From now on he went back to what had kept him alive all these years, looking out for number one. And no one else.
He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair. Now, he had to start completley over. He had no clothes, which meant no /mask/. He would have to walk around with everyone gawking as his face and stitches. And he had... well hell he didn't have anything! He was in poverty!
UGH! Such a disgusting word..
Dammit Hidan... You couldn't just stay calm and be rational. Just this one time...
The sound of the water cut off and Kakuzu blinked. How long had he been sitting here brooding?
Damn, Hidan couldn't even take a nice long shower and leave him in peace.
Hidan emerged from the bathroom and Kakuzu quickly averted his gaze. So that was his trick, try to look sexy and lure forgiveness from him? Nice try Hidan, I'm too old to fall for that.
But a second later the door of the hotel room slammed and Kakuzu turned back in mild shock. He left? Without saying anything?
Good. He wanted to be alone anyway.. But.. then why was he angry?
Because, Hidan was being a little jerk right now. Throwing a tantrum for some probably stupid reason like always. And he had no goddamn right to act like he was the one who'd been wronged. He was probably going over to his new little fuck-buddy's place just to spite the old man.
Well it wouldn't work. Fucking baby, fucking stupid ignorant Hidan... He would smack him around when he got back, or maybe just ignore him. That would drive the idiot crazy. Yeah, he'd do that when he came back... Whenever that would be... Hopefully soon..
Uh, not because he wanted him back. But because he was tired, he wanted to get some sleep without being woken up in the middle of the night by a drunken, high lunatic.
Yeah... that was why...
He pushed himself off the bed, leaning backward until his back popped, making him wince. Damn that ponytail kid gave him a run for his money. No pun intended.
How the hell had the scrawny little squirt managed to do all that? Kakuzu himself had been going full throttle and he had pretty well gotten ass handed to him until he whipped out the big guns. And even then...
Dammit.. he knew he got the kids heart. And he knew there was only one. And that didn't sit well with him. What the fuck did Hidan do while he was gone?
Again running a hand through his hair, he sighed. Why was he even thinking about this? It didn't concern him. Hidan would be out of his life soon and he could go back to the wonderful single life he'd had before.
Doing what he wanted, when he wanted. Not spending his money on stupid things, not getting calls at 3 am by the police, not picking up after a grown man...
Going to sleep and staying asleep with the whole bed to himself... alone. Coming home and not being greeting by a happy, smiling idiot...
Silence all the time... sheer, uninterupted silence... Monotony, no more bickering, or random tackle-hugs, or annoying little pale fingers picking at his mask, begging him just to show his face because it was 'the best thing ever, seriously'...
He shook his head and growled, stomping into the grundgy bathroom. Get out of my head you insufferable moron! He was mad at him, furious, he wanted to throttle him. Remember?
It had been so easy before, killing all those stupid men, imagining them to be Hidan as they cried out their useless religious mumbo-jumbo. He hadn't seen that stupid grinning face in a year, hadn't looked into those damn soft violet eyes and listened to his irritating voice saying his nickname in that accursedly cute manner...
GAAH DAMN IT ALL!
He turned the water on and stripped, grumbling almost inaudibley to himself.
Just don't think about it. You are a grown-ass man. Hidan is just a nuisance and you didn't miss him and you don't care that he's with someone else. Even if it is a snarky little pineapple headed son-of-a-bitch. Fucking rediculous. Hidan only liked him because he believed in their bullshit god... that had to be the only reason. What the hell did that kid have that he didn't?
STOP IT!
He shoved his face into the stream of water, as if it would wash it all away. You're going soft old man.. a kid knocked you on your ass and now you're jealous...
"Shut up.." He said out loud. Great... now he was talking to himself. Damn that zealous, immortal, idiot. Getting under his skin like that. If Hidan were a snake, Kakuzu would be dead.
Hah... Hidan was more like a persistant fly. You could slap at it and kill it but somehow there was always something buzzing around, pissing you off. Threats don't work and violence doesn't work, and only when you learn to just live with it does it go away..
Just like right now... Now that he was used to his presence, it felt far too quiet and still without him. It felt wrong, horribley wrong. Like the calm before the storm except the calm just drug on and on while you sat there wasting your life away waiting for the storm that refused to come.
Damn... he hoped he came back soon. He'd never say it out loud, but as long as no one knew, he supposed he could just think it to himself...
xx
Hours passed, and it was well into the night. Kakuzu lay in bed on top of the covers, propping the back of his head on his forearms.
He stared at the ceiling in a statuesque manner, trying to calm the anger that rose within him at each passing minute. He didn't care where Hidan was, he didn't. It was a mantra repeated to himself over and over in his head.
He would not go after him. If he went after him then that would mean he cared and he didn't care.
Nope. Not at all.
He almost had himself convinced when his eyes started to droop and his weary body began relaxing. Damn it felt good to have a body again... He could focus on that. That was a good feeling, nothing confusing about it.
And then the door clicked and squeaked, and his eyes shot open. The anger flared right back up, and he gritted his teeth and rolled his head to look at the intruder.
Hidan paused mid-step, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights. He had a paper bag dangling from one hand, and Kakuzu's eyes shifted back and forth between the startled violet and brown bag.
"Uuh.. I thought you were asleep.." Hidan said, straightening up.
"I was until you barged in." He growled back.
Silver brows furrowed in anger. "I was quiet as shit! If the fucking doors in this shitty place didn't wake the goddamn dead you wouldn't have known I was here!"
"Where did you go?" Kakuzu asked, not moving from his reclined position.
Irriatation turned breifly to confusion before switching back again on the Jashinist face. "Like you give a damn.."
"You're right. I don't."
"THEN WHY'D YOU FUCKING ASK!?"
"You woke me up."
"Tch. Whatever you're always mad at me for one thing or another. I don't even care... Here." The paper bag was tossed onto the foot of the bed. Kakuzu stared blankly at it before returning His attention to Hidan, who was removing his shirt beside the second bed. Kakuzu had gotten a room with a king size bed and then pulled the two twins apart. A single king size bed was cheaper than two queens, the motel didn't have anything smaller, and he definiteley wasn't going to share a bed with Hidan after he'd been screwing or getting screwed by someone else. He didn't care what circumstances it had happened under.
"What's that."
Hidan turned around and sat, pulling off his shoes. "I... saved some of your clothes. Well, a mask and that duster you never really wore.. They survived red-eye's assault. I figured you probably didn't wanna walk around with your stitches showing like that.. I know it bugs you when people stare."
Kakuzu was silent as he regarded the somewhat somber man. He hadn't swore in at least five sentences. Something must really be wrong with him.
"Why did you save them?"
Hidan just shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "They got mixed in with my stuff..."
"It was hanging in the back of my closet. You had to have deliberatly grabbed it."
"Yeah well you're senile old mind must be fucking mistaken!" Hidan said, laying down and throwing the covers over himself. "This bed smells like sin."
"You can sleep on the floor if you want." The dark skinned man stated, sitting up to sift through the bag.
"Shut up Kakuzu."
He hesitated at this. Kakuzu? Not Kuzu or old man or shit eater? Just Kakuzu?
What the hell was wrong with him?
He pulled the trenchcoat from the bag, his nose wrinkling slightly. Shit, it was the hottest part of summer. He didn't want to wear this... but he really didn't want to go walking around all exposed. And leather... just wasn't his thing. Hidan swore up and down it made him look 'like a fucking sex god', but the material made him feel so constricted.. Why had Hidan saved this stupid jacket instead of something more comfortable?
Dammit Hidan..
He pulled the mask out, and underneath that was a regular white t-shirt, and it didn't look like his. He didn't wear white.
"What's this?"
Hidan rolled back over to study the cloth in the elder man's hand. "A shirt. I think it'll fit you, it's kinda big on me. It's too fucking hot to walk around in a jacket, even though you probably will anyway you miser... "
"It's white." Kakuzu stated.
"Uh... yeah. And?"
"Hidan, have you ever seen me wear color?"
The Jashinist considered this for a moment. "You don't have to fucking wear it. Jashin, I was just trying to help..."
"You're a little late for that.." Kakuzu said, balling up the shirt and tossing it back in the sack. Hidan's head shot up from the pillow.
"The fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. Be quiet so I can sleep." The elder said, clicking off the lamp and flooding the room in darkness. He rolled to face the wall, his back turned on Hidan, releasing a quiet sigh. He couldn't even determine what emotion he was feeling right now. He wasn't stupid enough to try and convince himself he hadn't missed the psycho at all. There was a reason they'd been together previous to this, after all. Something about that stupid albino psycho just... made the world better. Even though it made it worse at the same time. Kakuzu had seen for himself the deterioration of society, how every finely defined line had been blurred no matter what the topic. Hidan really was the human incarnation of that, of everything he hated... it didn't make sense for him to feel the way he did about him.
Hidan listened, for about 5 minutes. "I looked for you..." He said softly. "Everywhere. I tracked you all the way to the place you said they caught you, I even found the engraved circle where they had the salt..."
Kakuzu remained facing the wall, not wanting to listen but unable to force himself to tell the silver hair to stop talking.
"You'd been gone for 3 months. It took two of them to even find any clue as to where you might be. The first one I just spent at home... Afraid that if I left you might come back and leave again and I wouldn't get to see you..."
He heard Hidan shift with the squeaking of old rusted mattress springs. He kept his eyes on the wall. Don't come over here. Don't you dare.
"Your blood was still staining that fucking cement. I found a piece of your mask stuck in some bushes, covered in blood. There was blood everywhere, all over the place, like they had taken you and ripped you apart and dragged you in five different directions. But I couldn't fucking figure out where they took you, or who even... I got so mad.. I was trying so fucking hard and I couldn't fucking help you. The one time you actually need my help and I can't do a single fucking thing..." His voice wavered, and Kakuzu couldn't help but roll quietly, straining to see the 'younger' man through the darkness.
He was leaning over the side of the bed, head lowered and his hands tightly gripping chunks of hair.
"I couldn't control myself.. I'm... I'm sorry okay? I can't even remember what happened, Red-eyes showed up somewhere in there and.. I almost killed him. I just couldn't stop killing people and when I ran out of people to kill I started breaking things and when I ran out of things to break I set the rubble on fire... nothing was ever enough. I just kept screaming and screaming and screaming until I couldn't even do that anymore. It.. it hurt so bad Kakuzu.. I've never hurt like that before. I couldn't make it feel good no matter what I tried. You know I love the sight of blood, but knowing it was yours... Just... knowing without even knowing..."
Kakuzu sat up finally, studying the hunched over figure. Hidan wasn't crying, but damn it all if he didn't seem close to it.
"You.. you make everything okay.. you know? Even when you're mad at me and beating the shit out of me, everything makes sense. When you were gone, I didn't know what to do..." Hidan released his hair and sat up slightly, still slouching heavily. "So.. I turned to Jashin. And I tried to track down that fucking Hyuga again.. Just as something to do you know? And that fucking Pineapple headed fuck was there all alone and I swear.. I was in his room while he was sleeping, I had the fucking razorblade on his throat... it was right there. I was going to kill him and move on. And he said my name, in his sleep. He was dreaming about me."
Kakuzu's eyes narrowed. Well this confession had just gone sour. He didn't care about how the hell they'd gotten involved, it didn't matter anyway. It was already over with, there was no need to explain. Kakuzu would have moved on as well. It was just life continueing on it's course.
Then why are you angry?
"I don't know. It's all a stupid, long, stupid story. He helped things make sense again.. ya know? I didn't feel like I needed to just run around and kill and destroy. Everything was okay, and I mean, the idiot bound himself to Jashin. Was I just supposed to walk away from that? Seriously, he almost kicked your ass, Kuzu."
He looked up, his slight grin vanishing when their eyes met. And he cleared his throat, shifting his vision to the side, looking at nothing in particular. "I... I don't know what else to tell you.. I'm just really confused again. I'm trying really fucking hard here and you're not giving me anything but the same old bullshit you did back when I first met you. Like, all the progress I've made getting you out of your stupid shell is gone now and it's so fucking frustrating. I want to hit you and hug you at the same time."
"Hidan, you're embarrasing yourself."
Suddenly fiery violet eyes locked onto his again and the zealot stood up. "No, I'm not. I'm not fucking afraid to tell you this kind of shit. I know you think it's fucking awkward so you push it away, I did the same damn thing with Pineapple head. I caught myself doing a lot of the shit you always do to me, to him. So don't pretend like I don't fucking know what I'm talking about."
"Stop talking about the kid."
"Why? Are you Jealous? Are you admitting that you actually give a shit about me? Because I know you fucking do. I know you went through some seriously messed up shit, but you don't go fucking pushing everyone away because of that, trust me, you just get yourself into a big fucking mess trying to do everything alone. You should be old enough to fucking know that."
Hidan took a step closer, and Kakuzu had to force himself not to jerk away, and hold the zealots gaze. He didn't want that idiot near him, not when he was all fired up like this...
"You wanna know why I took the duster? Because when I got that for you and talked you into putting it on, you looked at yourself in the mirror, and I came and stood beside you. Do you remember that?"
Kakuzu nodded absently, recalling the day very clearly. He'd pestered him and pestered him like an annoying gnat until the older man had been so desperate to get a moment of peace and quiet that he'd finally yanked it out of Hidan's hands and put it on. Then he'd been forced over to the mirror where the annoying pest had ripped off his mask and stood beside him, absolutley beaming with childlike amazement as he stared at the reflection. Honestly, the black leather hadn't looked bad, it really complete the 'bounty hunter' look. But it just wasn't him, and besides, it would get torn to shreds in the first serious battle he was in.
"Yeah well.. That was when I realized.. that I loved you..."
Kakuzu's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to say something but Hidan cut him off.
"Yeah, I know. Tell me I'm an idiot, hit me, lecture me, whatever. It's not going to change anything. But.. I need to say it now. Because.. that was the worst pain ever, knowing that you died not knowing that. I know you think you're invicible, and I guess you kind of convinced me too. So I didn't think I ever needed to say it out loud. I don't care if you don't feel the same way, and I don't care if you leave me. I said it and you heard it and... well that's fucking that."
He sat back down on the bed, staring down at his pants as he fiddled with a stray thread. Kakuzu stared at him, trying to keep his breatheing even. Dammit Hidan... The idiot always did this to him. Worked him up to the point where he beleived he would never forgive him, where he finally made up his mind to dump the annoying little prick and move on with his life... And then made it impossible to go through with it. Though every bit of logic told him to do it, though his head told him that it wasn't worth the trouble... He just couldn't. Not in all 90 years of his existance had anyone ever caused him this much internal grief.
"Hidan."
A grunt in reply.
"Look at me."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because I know what you're going to do.."
"And what's that?"
"Something that's going to hurt."
Kakuzu sighed and layed back down, propping his head on his hands in the same position he'd been in before. "I thought you liked pain."
"Not that kind of pain.."
"Have it your way then." He sighed, closing his eyes. He really needed to get some sleep, if Hidan wanted to go off on that rant, telling him not to push people away and then refuse to even look at him, fine. He wasn't even going to think about how hypocritical that was, because that was Hidan. He didn't make sense, even though he always did.
"Are you still mad?"
"No."
"Good. You're annoying when you're mad."
"And you're annoying when you're alive."
"YOU OLD FUCK!"
"Insufferable idiot."
The squeak of mattress springs sounded just before his own bed rocked suddenly. Within a split second before he was able to open his eyes, a body was on top of him, face buried in the nape of his neck. He blinked, taking in a breath only to realize his heart was racing. Shifting his head, he looked down at a mop of silver hair, absently pulling his arms out from under his head and wrapping them around near trembling shoulders.
"Don't you ever, ever fucking leave me all alone in this shitty world again, seriously. Or I'll come down to hell, drag you back up, and make you wish you were back down there."
"...You think I'll go to hell when I die?"
Hidan lifted his head and smiled. "I know you will, heathen."
Kakuzu rolled his eyes and slid his hand up Hidan's bare back and neck and tangled his fingers in the silky silver locks that he'd missed so much. Yes, he would admit it.
"The reason I managed to escape.." The older man said hesitantly. He cleared his throat before continueing. "All I could think about was.. that I had to live so that I could come home and beat the shit out of you."
Hidan's smile grew bigger, and his eyes laughed along with him. "Awe, Kuzu, how sweet."
"Shut up." He said, pulling the 'younger' man forward until their lips met. The weight on top of him melted into his own body and pale hands traced up his sides and came to a rest on his chest. They pushed enough to give the zealot the leverage to press himself further into the kiss.
Yeah, okay. He definitely missed this. The spark that shot through him, the energy, the rush that no one but the irritating imbecile on top of him could cause. Feeling the pressure of someone on him but unsure of where his body stopped and Hidan's started. Only someone as psychotic and idiotic and impulsive and... and honest and beautiful and loyal as Hidan could fit so perfectly in his embrace.
Damn him.
-o-
"So who do you think gets the girl?" Kisame asked, wiggling his eyebrows and picking at his teeth with a toothpick. He was draped comfortably across the bed watching Itachi brush his hair at the vanity, upside-down.
Damn he looked good. He always did when the Shark-man hadn't seen him in awhile. It didn't help that he'd just witnessed the Uchiha climb on top of a car speeding 100 miles an hour fighting a flying threadmonster.
If that wasn't a turn on then nothing was.
"It's anyone's guess..." He replied in monotone. Kisame made a face in the mirror and their eyes met in the reflection. He stuck his tongue out and dark eyes closed and a soft chuckle escaped his lover. He grinned even wider.
"How can you be in such a good mood after that catastrophe?"
"Bah, we've been through worse. It's just another one of the zombie duo's little marital disputes." He said, sitting back upright. "I bet he get's back with the old miser. They always make up."
"Hn."
Kisame twisted his body to look at the sharingan user. "You don't think so?"
"Shikamaru offers something Kakuzu does not. Two things, considering he was struck through the heart and didn't die." He explained, setting the hairbrush down. "That God of Hidan's is literally his life. Being able to actually share that with someone might outweigh Kakuzu, who isn't truely immortal either. And also, Shikamaru doesn't beat him."
"Are you kidding!?" Kisame laughed, rocking backward. "That's why the little masochist stays with that scrooge!"
Itachi stood up and slinked to the bathroom, strutting a little more than the blue man thought normal. "This is actually a rather serious ordeal." His voice floated out. "There's two cult members that cannot die running around now. Nagato is not going to just look the other way. Especially not with what Shikamaru is capable of, the fact that he actually uses his brain makes no difference. Get him angry enough and he's no better than Hidan."
The shark-man's small grin disappeared, replaced with a scowl. "You don't think he's gonna make you babysit him too do ya?"
"I don't know. Again, it's anyone's guess. If Hidan and Kakuzu are together then he might have me shadow him long enough to determine if he's going to be a nuisance or not... "
"What if he sticks with the kid?" Kisame asks, letting his eyes absently roam the Uchihas body as he sauntered back in.
"Then I imagine Kakuzu will either leave the akatsuki and dissapear again or be very bad company for awhile."
"I mean, are you still going to have to keep going on these extended vacations?" He said, snatching Itachi by the ass of his pants when he came close and pulling him into his lap. "Because I don't like them."
"I don't particularly enjoy them either.." The raven-haired man replied, melting into his lover without resistance. "I'd rather follow Sasuke around all day long than keep getting dragged into these taxing situations. He's a pain in my ass but at least I know what to expect. I'm going to go prematurely gray dealing with those two."
Kisame gave a dramatic gasp, "Don't speak of such things!" He ran a blue hand through Itachi's loose hair. "He didn't mean it sweeties."
Itachi gave a weary smile and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back onto broad shoulder.
The blue man let his hands stray down over the narrow shoulders, sides, and come to a rest at the not-quite-feminine but still slender waist of the raven-haired beauty in front of him.
"He's gonna go with the cradle-robber.."
"What has you so convinced?"
"Call it instinct."
"Hn."
"The kid's just a kid. I don't think he's got what it takes to keep the psycho around. Besides, the old bastard is his first love in however many years you said he's been around. You don't just walk calmly away from that." He gave Itachi a small squeeze at the last.
"He did his grieving already though, if you recall. He already went through all the trauma and has begun healing. It wouldn't be logical for him to return to Kakuzu when Shikamaru is immortal as well as a Jashinist. Now more than ever there will always be that question as to whether Kakuzu will return each time he leaves. "
Kisame just hmmm'd and rested his face in the crook of his lovers neck and collarbone.
"And besides, I worked very hard to get those two to stop dancing around each other and just get together. I'm emotionally invested in this." Itachi chuckled the last. "Finding his stupid hideout wasn't easy, and he had all sorts of traps set up, I was actually impressed. Those places are built to last, the fact that he managed to destroy one is a little off-putting."
"Mmm, can we stop talking about them? " Kisame purred, tracing kisses along the pale shoulder, giving a sharkey smile when the Uchiha shivered.
"Well, what have you been entertaining yourself with?" He lifted his hand to rest against a falsley gilled cheek and let it wander back and upward until slender fingers twined themselves in coarse navy hair.
"Oh the usual. Sitting there waiting for you to come back, making sappy love songs that I'd never let you hear. And the occasional 'Stop a bank robbery' or 'go subdue this man for questioning' from the boss."
Itachi smiled. "You're so pathetically adorable. What was it Hidan called you? My puppy?"
"Hey! I can stop careing if you prefer." He said, quickly slipping his hands under the back of his lovers thighs and tossing him over his shoulder with ease. The Uchiha made a delightful little squeal of surprise and attempted threat before hitting the mattress and bouncing slightly. He scrambled back into a more dignified position and tossed the hair from his face.
"I'm not a damn doll, don't throw me around."
"Sorry, don't care." The blue man said, turning to crawl on the bed, stalking like a tiger.
"Kisa please, I'm in no mood." The raven hair leaned backward to evade his touch, and he stalked further.
"Well that sounds like a personal problem to me."
"Stop it."
"Nope."
"Kisame. Quit."
"Nuh-uh"
"I'm not fucking kidding you better not."
Growling, The shark man lunged, digging his fingers into Itachi's abdomen and sides and laughing maniacally as the usually stoic man burst into laughter.
"I-hahaa! I'm not a goddamn child- Baahahaa!"
"Stop resisting, you just make it worse."
"I swea-haaahahahaharr Kisame! I'll ki-hehehehehehehill you!"
The shark man hadn't planned on stopping until the bedroom door was suddenly kicked violently open.
"It's three in the fucking morning!" Sasuke growled, glaring between the two. "Will you just hurry up and screw so I can go to sleep!? Gonna have a hangover from hell..." He muttered the last, grabbing the door and whirling, slamming it behind him. His muffled complaints trailed off as he stalked back into his own room, and Kisame finally turned back to his red-faced, glaring lover, grinning like an idiot.
"I hate you."
"You love me."
"But I hate you too."
"Mmm just relax Angel. You're too stressed." Kisame said, holding himself over Itachi, who was currently smoothing his hair. "Stop worrying about everyone else for a second."
"Hn. It would be easier if all my friends weren't immature children."
"That because you're serious enough for all of us."
"Hn."
"Papa Itachi is always there to save our asses."
"Ew. Don't call me that."
Kisame released a throaty growl/chuckle. "Yea it sounds better when you call me daddy."
"NIGHTMARES!" Came Sasuke's shout, muffled still by the wall between them.
The two pairs of dark eyes met, they exchanged a grin with a wiggle of blue brows, and Itachi's hands shot up. They wrapped themselves around Kisame's neck and pulled him down with a strength that was almost unnatural on such a lithe form.
Sasuke, in his own room, listened for a moment before rolling his eyes and pulling a pair of headphones from his pocket. He shoved them in and flipped out the mp3 player, turning the music on full blast, and collapsed onto the pillow, secretly smiling to himself.
Damn kids.
-o-
Unpainted fingernails rapped impatiently on the table where sat the spikey haired Jashinist, alone.
He didn't like this, he wasn't sure why. The thought of meeting with 4 Akatsuki or ex-Akatsuki members in a public place where anyone might overhear their conversation was troublesome.
At least it wasn't a bar this time.
And it didn't help that they were late. Damn this paranoia. He couldn't figure out where it came from.
Actually that was a lie. His pulse was racing and his head was throbbing as it had all night long while he fought a war inside his head. Why the hell had he told Hidan he couldn't stay here? Why the hell did Hidan agreed so easily? He didn't even try to argue. He..he wanted to go with Kakuzu, like it was no big deal. Sure, they probably had stuff to talk about, but spending the night together? Was it some sort of last screw session before they ended it for good? No.. Hidan wasn't like that.. he was pretty sure. He was an insane, drug-abusing, satal masochist, but a loyal one.
And all this when he'd finally convinced himself that the psycho really cared about him. Fucking hell this was a nightmare.
"The sweetest form of slaughter is the breaking of a heart."
He jerked at the voice, the deep bone chilling whisper that echoed around in his head.
Dammit Jashin, not now.
But.. surely Hidan wouldn't go back. Not after Kakuzu had treated him like that, after he's stared at him with cold, loveless eyes. Kicked him in the face and insulted Jashin, calling him putrid and asenine... He couldn't be dumb enough to delude himself into thinking the old man gave a shit about him after that display. He and Shikamaru... it made so much more sense. Right?
Right?
"Hey kid." A familiar voiced piped from behind him, and he jumped when his hair was touseled. In another second the giant blue man stepped out and swiftly pulled out his chair and sat, giving the man across from him a toothy grin.
"Where's Itachi?" He asked, and immediatly received an eye-roll.
"Sheesh, can't any of you zombies get him off your mind? He is spoken for..."
Shikamaru gave him a look and the shark-man clicked his tongue, leaning back and stretching. "Bah, he's outside having a chat with the little bro."
"Sasuke's not going to be here is he?"
"Nah, He's getting rid of him. Just wants to make sure he don't go cause trouble. Why? You got a thing for him too?"
Shikamaru just stared at the man as if he were a weird circus attraction, and Kisame seemed to get a kick out of it, chuckling back behind exposed razorlike teeth.
He really didn't think they knew each other well enough to be teasing each other like this.. and it struck him as relitively odd that someone with the physical outward appearance this man had would be so easy-going and friendly. Then again.. you couldn't really be a timid, self-concious person to do that to yourself.
"So what's with your..." He paused, unsure how exactly to word the phrase without offending. "Erm.. sharkey-ness."
Nice one.
Again Kisame laughed, and Shikamaru had to admit it was kind of a nice sound. Contagious the way Hidan's was without the slight psycotic chime hidden beneath.
"It's basically a permanent side effect of the jutsu I use. It was imperfect the first time I tried it so the transformation couldn't be completley reversed."
Shikamaru's brows raised, surprised to find himself interested in this topic. And even more surprised to think that Hidan and Kakuzu together hadn't crossed his mind in 5 seconds... well... not counting that.
"You can transform?"
"Yup." Kisame said leaning forward to grab a toothpick from the middle of the table. "Into, you guessed it, a shark. "
"You can become an actual shark?" Holy shit, thats pretty awesome, actually. There were all kinds of jutsu's out there, varying in power and uses. But he'd never heard of anyone actually changing shape. That was a mixture of science and the unexplainable phenomenon that was Jutsu...
"Well, it looks more like some mutant cross... 'Freaky as fuck' is how most people describe it. I don't resort to using it unless I have to, hurts like a bitch."
"So I'm assuming your element it water."
"You would be assuming right." He said, grinning. "Wanna fight sometime?"
"Uh.. I've had enough fighting with you Akatsuki people.."
He tsk'd and pushed the chair back, balancing on two legs. "You say that like you aren't teetering on the verge of joining us. We're not so bad, y'know, If you give it a chance. It's like having a big, freaskishley messed up family."
Shikamaru eyed him sideways, vaugely wondering what the hell was taking the others so fucking long. Not that he wasn't enjoying this lovley bonding time with the half shark man, but he was still concerned about Hidan. If he decided to do something crazy and just skip town with Kakuzu... No.. no he wouldn't do that. Hidan wasn't like Neji, he wouldn't just up and leave him... would he? Surely he had more decency than that...
"What do you mean, teetering on the edge?"
Another shark-tooth grin. "You think we're all just gonna keep this little fiasco a secret? Police got involved, people got injured, you died and came back to life. The boss is gonna hear about it, and he's gonna want an eye kept on you. You wanted in before, I'm pretty sure Dei hasn't forgotten about your victory, and kicking Kakuzu's ass? I don't think there'll be any objections."
Shikamaru processed this. Join the Akatsuki? It was true he'd wanted to before, but only because he'd suspected them of aiding Hidan in murder. And he'd only wanted in because he'd planned on disbanding them by sending them to prison.
Now.. he had a whole new perspective. The Akatsuki were a small world power, stretching their influence far past that small town and helping to keep people with too much power from abusing it. People like Hidan when he'd gone on his rampage.
...This could be a good thing. This could work out perfectly, actually... or turn out to be the biggest mistake of his life...
"Sorry I'm late. Sasuke is being especially headstrong today." Itachi's voice wafted in as he briskly made his way to the table. He plopped into the seat and immediatly started studying Shikamaru. The silence seemed to last forever, and Shikamaru shifted uncomfortabley under the Uchiha's stare until he finally turned to Kisame lounging beside him.
"Where are Kakuzu and Hidan?"
The shark man just shrugged and continued fiddling with his toothpick. And as if by magic, Hidan's shouting met their ears, causing Shika to turn towards it in both releif and anxiety.
"YOU GOT A FUCKING STARING PROBLEM?! TAKE A GODDAMN PICTURE WHY DON'TCHA!?"
There was a loud thud followed by another string of profanities. Shikamaru turned back around to the two men who suddenly looked exhausted. Kisame rolling his eyes and sighing while Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose, his black nails tapping against the tabletop in annoyance.
The bell clinked as the diner door slammed open, causing Shikamaru to twist back around, and in sauntered Kakuzu. He briefly scanned the area before his multicolored eyes met Shikamaru. They paused there for a moment before shifting to focus on Itachi, and gave a small nod before coming in further. Not two seconds after he sauntered in Hidan nearly came crashing through the door, wiping blood from under his nose. His eyes alighted on the Nara's as well, but the false smile that sprouted from it was like a knife through the chest. Yeah, he actually did know what that felt like.
Oh no.. he knew without knowing at all. Something happened between the two, they'd at the very least made up. Oh Jashin please let that be all. They're just staying friends.
"Fucking old miser." He muttered, coming to pull out a chair beside Shikamaru instead of Kakuzu. His heart fluttered, perhaps he was just being paranoid. "Didn't do anything but defend him. Fucking pricks always staring.." Shikamaru took a moment to glance quickly at the older man, thanking Jashin that Kakuzu didn't catch him.
Then he nearly did a double take. That trenchcoat.. he would swear on his life it was the same one Hidan had been wearing when he'd first seen him... But he'd discarded it in that little clearing. Which meant he went back and got it.
It was Kakuzu's...? That just made his stomache churn even worse. Hidan had even been wearing the man's clothes the day he almost died, almost like a slap to the face to remind him not to get himself killed...
"Sorry we're late. Hidan seemed to forget that time is money." Kakuzu finally said, tearing him from his thoughts but not freeing him from the sinking feeling in his chest.
"Tch, I was gonna get up and meet you here, I just didn't wanna get up at the asscrack of dawn."
"We would not be late if you had gotten up when I told you the first time."
"Well maybe if your stupid money-grubbing ass wouldn't have gotten such a cheap fucking hotel all the way across the city-"
"It's fine." Itachi interrupted sharply. "We're all here now. It's fine." He repeated, sounding like he was close to losing it.
Hidan huffed and sulked for a total of two seconds, and the perched his chin on laced fingers, lifting a brow and smirking at Shikamaru. "So how was your night without me Pineapple head?"
Shut up Hidan. "Well.. I wouldn't know. I was asleep."
"Bah, okay smartass. You keep acting all calm." He said, then suddenly becoming very serious and leaning in closer. "I can practically taste your jealousy."
Bastard. It wasn't realistic of him not to expect Hidan to tease him, but this was borderline being cruel. Something was definitely off, Hidan was acting normal enough, but at the same time being completely different. No.. nonono. Don't even think about it. Stop over-analyzing. Blood bond, remember?
"Alright, so I think me and Kakuzu here are the only ones who don't really know what's going on. So spill the beans kid." Kisame said, curling his finger toward him repeatedly and leaning forward.
Shikamaru hesitated. He had expected an explanation, and had been prepared to give one, but his nerves betrayed him. And for once in his life he drew a complete blank. "Uhhh..."
"Shikamaru and Hidan developed a relationship," Itachi said calmly for him. "And I think it's been put very clearly forward that you've accepted Jashinism as your faith. This variable alone has caused a sort of domino effect."
Er.. yeah. Thanks Itachi, blunt as usual. The Nara nodded and cleared his throat, remembering everything now that he'd been given the jump start.
"Uh, yeah. Well I'm guessing what you all want to know is why I'm sitting here right now instead of laying dead in that feild." He paused to gauge reactions. And unanimously everyone nodded, except Kakuzu, who sat statuesque in his place in between Shikamaru and Itachi, an empty chair on either side of him.
"Uh.. well. To put it most basically, Hidan and I kind of accidentally made what's called a Blood bond, by, er, ingesting each others blood within the circle during a ritual offering... "
Kisame made a disgusted face and sat back into his chair, quietly disengaging from the conversation but remaining mercifully silent.
"It's kind of a loophole for Jashinists to continue becoming more powerful, see, anyone who does this sort of thing ends up leeching each others abilities. And most normally one person or the other becomes an unwilling sacrifice. Which leaves the live one with their powers, and moves them up the chain of command as well as boosts their power and therefore ability to provide Jashin with souls."
Wow... it made so much sense to him, but trying to explain it out loud... well he felt like a psycho. Everyone except Hidan seemed to just be waiting for him to hurry up and finish explaining. They had no interest in the matter. Hidan however was staring wide-eyed and slightly slackjawed like a toddler being told war stories by his grandparent.
"But uh.. you can probably guess where the little snag is in here. Hidan can't be killed. And now that I've sort of inherited some of his immortality, neither can I. As long as we keep providing Jashin with souls... that is." Everyone was silent as he looked around nervously. And to his surprise, it was Kakuzu who asked the first question.
"So the key to immortality is nothing more than tasting Hidan's blood, and vice-versa, while performing a ritual."
"Erm.. Well. I mean you can't just do it with anyone. You have to, ah... care deeply about them." He cleared his throat. "Jashin being the God of slaughter and all. The worst-or.. best in this case-kind of murder is homicide of the heart. In other words, offering him the soul of someone you... love.. is one of the greatest things you can do for him."
Of course he had to confess his feelings about Hidan to Kakuzu, right to his face, with the whole world watching.
Seriously Jashin. Kill me.
He was studied with unreadable green and red eyes before the lids shut slowly and the older man shook his mask-covered face. "It looks like they managed to figure it out just by taking me out of the situation." His eyes re-opened and focused again on Shikamaru, his voice dropping an octave as he continued. "Good thing I killed all those who would have sought you out for it. It seems you owe me, boy."
"Ah shut up." Hidan piped, waving his hand at him. "He's full of shit Pineapple head, don't let him trick you."
The creepy eyes locked onto Hidan and sent a glare across the table that nearly felt as if the surface might burst into flames. The zealot was unaffected, taunting the older man right back.
"I agree with what Kakuzu is saying. This is not something that would benefit you two to have the public knowing about. So aside from the report I'll be sending to Nagato, no one says another word on the subject. Agreed?"
Again there was simultaneous nods around the table. Kisame seemed overjoyed at the fact.
"Now, onto the next topic. Kakuzu, you will be returning as the treasurer of the Akatsuki correct?"
"Yes." Was the short reply.
"Good. Glad to have you back, Sasori tries very hard but it's not his fortè. Hidan, will you be returning from your hiatus as well?"
The albino put his hands behind his head and leaned back, eyes narrowed and chewing the inside of his cheek in thought. "Do I get a welcome back party?"
"You get a slap across the face for causing so much chaos." Itachi said in an almost joking manner. "You will do nothing but give your report and resume doing what you did before."
"Tch. I think I earned a few days off..."
"You've taken a year off you idiot." Kakuzu growled. "I would like to get started rebuilding my life, if you don't mind. So stop dodging the question."
Hidan stuck his tongue out, and for whatever reason, Shikamaru had to focus very hard not to laugh at such a childish act. "Yeah whatever. S'not like I can fuckin' just leave now that the hardass is back on the job."
"Very well." Itachi said. "Kisame will inform Nagato while I finish things up in the city."
Shikamaru was just about to sigh in relief when Itachi continued on.
"There is one more rather important topic to discuss. One that I would like the three of your opinions on before bringing it up with Nagato."
Violet, black, and Christmas eyes landed on the Uchiha. Kisame chuckled and raised his brows at Shikamaru, grinning. And his stomache sank. He was serious about that? Itachi actually wanted him to join? What happened to being a nieve thorn in his side?
"I think, under the unique circumstances, that having Shikamaru among us would be something to consider throughly." The sharingan user paused, waiting for reactions but not receiving any. "He has already had his initial oreintation two years ago, and I think everyone agrees that he has more than improved since. It would not be difficult to induct him in."
"And why does it strike you as a good idea to have two of these in our care?" Kakuzu asks, gesturing to the two Jashinists. "It's difficult enough keeping just one under control. And I refuse right now to be held responsible for any idiotic stunts they pull."
"First of all, there's the extensive knowledge Shikamaru has on our organization." Itachi said, calm but for a slight annoyed tick at the edge of a perfect brow. Shikamaru didn't react to this, though he thought it might be stretching the truth, or Maybe itachi thought he knew more than he did. He certianly wouldn't call it extensive knowledge.
"As well as the fact that he and Hidan could now present an even bigger threat when partnered together, sharing abilities as they do, they would be a flawless team. Third, Nagato is going to want an eye kept on him. No offense Shikamaru, but you cause twice the damage Hidan does while being only half as angry."
Shikamaru just nodded absently, his gaze flicking around, unfocused as he tried to process all of this. And further personal reasons would be the fact that he would have a job, seeing as he was most likely going to lose the one he had at the firm. And with whoever this 'Nagato' fellow was's blessing, it would be a good way for him to weed out potential sacrifices. Surely he would agree if Shikamaru promised to help tend to Hidan and keep him from doing stupid things. Hell, they could do it together and kill two birds with one stone, literally.
Hidan could continue teaching him, and they could be together. So what if Kakuzu would be there on a daily basis? He probably wouldn't be around. He was always gone for long periods of time before, surely he would go back to doing what he had before this whole mess had occurred. He would help Hidan get over it. Everything could work out..
Or was he just desperate to believe it?
"I strongly believe he would be an asset." Itachi concluded, studying everyone in turn.
"Yeah, and plus if you steal Hidan from him he might go all aggro again and then he'd be our enemy. We could probably all take him but.. well hey I'm not the only one kinda scared of him am I? We all stared like horny schoolgirls while he fucked Kakuzu's world up." Kisame said casually. The awkward silence that followed was near suffocating. In the absence of words, and with nothing more than a nervous glance from Hidan, his fears had been confirmed.
And Shikamaru's heart shattered...again.
He stood up abruptly, swallowing heavily. "Let me know what your boss thinks." He said, already having made up his mind but unable to process enough thought on the subject to decline the invitation. There was no way in hell he could be on a team with Hidan and not be with him. And he'd rather die than share him with that money-grubbing bastard. Then again, he should have expected it. It wasn't as if he could expect the same from Hidan, and they were already in. Once you were in Akatsuki, you never got out.
So the only logical decision was for him to stay the hell out and let them be.
Part of him didn't even want to tell Hidan about the requirements of their blood bond. He honestly wouldn't even mind dying. After everything he'd done for Neji and Hidan alike, he was still getting fucked over.
But the other half of him knew that Hidan would die. And even with the wrath and agony the albino was causing him right now, he didn't want that.
"Shikamaru.." Itachi protested.
The Nara just mustered up all his self control and smiled, pulling the ring from his pocket and holding it up to where Itachi could see. "I'll be in touch."
And then, without knowing how the hell he did it, he activated his jutsu without the word or the handsign, forcing life into his shadow now bubbling around his feet like a miniature tar pit, and stiffened as his body was quickly swallowed up in it.
Thank you Jashin.
-o-
A/N-
Alriiiiiight.
Yeah... I hate me too right now. But C'mon guys. They can't live happily ever after. If I let them do that then there would be no way I could continue it on into a trilogy.
Which I've decided to do. :)
Yeah, see? You can't hate me.
ANYWAYS! I think I have diabetes now from writing that random fluffy Kisaita moment. YOU'RE WELCOME FLUFFY! Apparently what I wrote before wasn't enough for her. So here, tooth-rotting, tickletastic, KisaIta fluff. I only made them this ooc because technically in this story, Sasuke and Itachi are on good terms, which makes both of the brothers lives inherently better, which makes them both less... Uchiha-ish.
And also KakuHida fuff, which I've reminded myself that I'm much better at than any other pairing. xD
SO! Next chapter is the last. Even though it's not, what with the epilogue and bonus chappie.
Forgive the typos, blahblahblah, I love you and REVIEWWW!