Hey ! I'm really sorry about the seemingly huge gap in-between updates, my computer was broken and it took a while for it to be fixed. To make it up I've posted three extra chapters; Chapter Five called Love's pain, Chapter Six called Lover's denial and Chapter Seven called Lying to yourself

After you'd gone

Name : After you'd gone

Author : Lisi the slayer

Genre :Romance/Angst

Summery:

Spike sacrificed himself to close the Hellmouth over Sunnydale once and for all. Year on and Buffy is still distraught and beats her self up about how she never told him how she felt. But now he's back, back from the dead, determined to get his life back he sets out in search of Buffy, but how will Buffy react when she's see him and will she accept him into her life again ?

Pairings- Buffy/Spike

Heaven and Hell and in-between

Dawn slowly came around, Spike was grinning at her.

" I take it Niblet, the rest of your sleep was pleasant."

Spike asked her airily but with a hint of a tease in his voice, he knew perfectly well how Dawn felt about him, but he refused to address it as all though she appeared much younger she was in fact older than him.

It was best he decided whilst looking at 'The Key' that he remained oblivious to it all.

Dawn blushed slightly as her mind went over her fairly erotic dreams.

It was only when she noticed Spike's pointing stare that she finally replied to his question.

" Yes it was."

Spike chuckled and began to fiddle with Dawn's long brown hair, he could feel tension radiating in waves from Dawn and he was curious as to what was bothering her.

What is it Niblet, your radiating waves of tension

It's complicated Spike

All the more reason why you should tell me Niblet

I'm not sure I should ask

Oh I get it

Spike ?

Dawn looked up at Spike, fearing she had upset him. Spike shook his head upon reading her thoughts and smiled warmly at her.

" I was going to tell you Niblet.

I just thought now wasn't the time.

But if it's making you uncomfortable then I'll spill."

Get yourself comfortable Niblet, this is a long tale and I'm not repeating myself

Dawn nestled into his chest and Spike draped and arm over her, his other hand playing with her hair absent-mindly.

" Right let's start at the beginning. When I sacrificed myself Niblet I died. I'm a bad man Niblet-"

At this Dawn interrupted.

" No your not, your not bad your good and brave and strong and you have a soul-"

" Thank you Niblet, but the fact remains I've made mistakes in my life time-"

" Everyone makes mistakes Spike, it doesn't make you bad."

Spike frowned with mock-annoyance this time.

" Dawn. If your going to interrupt after every sentence we will be well into your second life."

At the seriousness in his voice Dawn stopped interrupting and focused on listening.

" As I was saying, due to my mistakes I was in no fit form for heaven, thus I should have dropped down like most of the other Vampires into the fiery pits of Hell.

But I didn't. I was in between. Stuck in between and Heaven couldn't take me no matter how hard the realm tried and neither could Hell.

I was not good enough of heaven but not bad enough for Hell.

I was apparently a special case, not actually suprising. Niblet, as you know there is no God. There are only realms.

Realms in which we progress to. I had no where to go I was in Limbo. In between. The realms Heaven and Hell were cut off from me, but I had to go to a realm, then what would have been round about the time I called you I was sucked back in by the life realm.

I've been granted an extra chance at the life I had had in which Niblet, by my next demise I must fit into one or the other realms. Otherwise-"

Spike cut off and a shudder ran through his body.

" Or what ?"

" Or Niblet, my soul will be destroyed and I'll simply cease to exist. A fate worse than that of Hell."

Dawn hugged him extra tightly.

" That's won't happen Spike. Your an hero. Your always be my saviour and my role model."

Spike felt tears of strong emotion prickle his icy blue eyes.

"Thanks Niblet, but what of your sister ? What of Buffy ?"

See told yah Buffy's going to be in, Buffy will make her appearance. Same deal as before 2 Reviews before I update. I want to make sure People are actually going to read what I update ! Keep reviewing !