Xander woke up, he was on a beat up old couch in a dark, musty, windowless room, and a headache. It wasn't his worst hangover, he sat up on the couch which creaked in protest. He looked around 'oh no' he thought. He was at Spike's crypt. He had gone to Spike's crypt. He was waking up at Spike's crypt. This was bad. Xander rubbed his eyes and eased the memories of the night before out of his brain. There was drinking, lots of drinking, at a bar, he stayed there playing darts until he was drunk enough that darts was a pretty bad idea. He walked, all over sunnydale. He walked past Willow's old house, he walked past his parent's house, where he had shared the basement with Anya. 'Anya, oh no' thought Xander. He had called her, left a couple messages, some angry, some desperate, all stupid. He went to the crypt, he saw Spike. He kissed Spike. He groaned. He had kissed Spike. He had kissed Spike. He had kissed Spike. This was not okay on so many levels.
"Awake then?" Spike asked climbing up from the lower level of the crypt.
"If you can call it that" Xander replied. pushing the blanket off of him.
"good, now get up" Xander looked at Spike for a moment. He was dressed in his usual get up, black shirt, and signature duster. Xander was still in yesterdays clothes, a wrinkled shirt and jeans. Xander heaved a sigh and sank back into the couch. He could not believe he had kissed Spike. It was Spike. "I said, get. Up." Spike growled at him. Xander massaged him temples and did as the vampire commanded. Spike was now at the entrance to the crypt and opened the door. "Get out" he grumbled.
Xander hesitated a moment before doing as he was directed and heading towards the door, just before he left Spike added "and you'll be coming back at sundown when you're in your right mind." Xander turned to say something but Spike simply shut the door in Xander's face.
Through the day Xander did very little but think about Spike. He knew he had a certain... Attraction to the Vampire, even clued Anya in on it, but kissing Spike, that was a step he didn't think he'd ever take outside the confines of his fantasies. But last night it became painfully clear that Spike was a little more than just a desire. As much as he hated Spike, and he hated Spike, it was undeniable that he also loved him. And the way Spike made it sound, well he almost suspected that Spike returned the affection. Xander moped around the basement nursing his hangover and playing video games until sundown finally arrived. He was nervous and excited as he walked back to the crypt. He took a breath and prepared to knock when the door opened. Xander looked at Spike. Spike looked at Xander. They stood in silence for a few moments before Spike opened the door wider to allow Xander entrance.
"I'm going to be honest with you Xander." Spike said leading him into the crypt. "You are not half bad, and I'd bloody love to have a go with you in bed." Xander opened his mouth to say something but was quickly cut off. "But Vampires are not like people, we do not love like people, but, contrary to what any of your self-righteous gang of friends would have you believe, we do have feelings... we do, love." Xander took a step towards Spike who just continued to talk "Most Vampire relationship are based on a solid foundation of ownership. All vampires can be placed on a scale of dominant to submissive. If a vampire meets another vampire who is more submissive that they fancy, they will take them. They will pin them to the ground, have their way and thats it, they are property." Xander gave Spike a look of disgust, which Spike seemed to expect. "Don't get me wrong, this is good for the sub. They don't resist out of lack of interest, more so to test the dom's strength, his ability to protect. Once a vampire becomes a sub for another, their whole life is devoted to them. The dom of course doesn't owe the sub shit, but usually they wouldn't claim them if they didn't want to take care of them." Xander had taken a few steps closer to Spike as he talked "Xander, you are not a vampire, under normal circumstances I'd just sire you, but with this damn chip... The point is I don't have the strength to love you like a vampire and I don't have the soul to love you like a man." Xander was only a few feet away now.
"Now who said anything about love, cause I sure didn't" Xander said "You don't have to love me to sleep with me" Xander said, surprising even himself with his willingness to hop in bed with the vamp. Spike chuckled a bit.
"You and I both know that's not true. You can both sleep around all we want but not with each other. And as for love, you reek of it." Spike said a-matter-of-factly. "Pheromones, Serotonin, ring a bell? Chemicals in love and you're drenched in them." Xander blushed slightly "I'm no better, but the fact remains; we both can't have what we want." The both stood in silence. Xander was close now, he dared to take another step closer, then another, then another. He held his face inches away from Spike's lips.
"You know what Spike?" Spike cocked an eyebrow but held his ground. "I couldn't care less" Xander brought their lips together violently.