Chapter 2
I open my eyes and it's black, all black, and very close and muffled. My heart starts crawling up my throat, and I swing a wild punch out into the darkness, expecting my fist to connect with solid wood, because I'm pretty sure I'm in a coffin. Then logic starts setting in as I realize my head is throbbing like it's been split open. I wouldn't be in pain if I were dead. Also, I wouldn't be in a coffin. There are no coffins for us, no funerals, nothing except lying on the side of the road and getting eaten by crows and rats and cats and whatever the hell else wants a bite, regardless of its position on the food chain. If you're lucky, you might get a few stray dandy lions tossed on top of you…and if you're really lucky, maybe your friends will have enough time to roll you into the ditch and kick dirt on top.
No coffins.
My heart starts slowing down again. I start to remember things. We're in the sewers, and I'm sitting guard in the electrical room, and Laura is somewhere off to my left. I can hear her breathing now—and the others, a little farther off—and I light the tips of my fingers to look at her for reassurance. Nothing is more comforting than knowing you have company in the dark. It's the unknown that gets me.
Laura is looking at me, frowning slightly. "A nightmare?" she asks, having seen my punch. She can see in the dark to a certain point, in black and white, or so she's told us. She's like a Swiss army knife, really—always something useful up her sleeve. Speaking of sleeves, I'd murder my best friend for a jacket right now, or even a sweater. All I have is a ripped-up t-shirt which has seen much better days.
"N-not really," I mumble, rubbing my arms. I feel weird. Maybe I've got a little bit of concussion going on too. I was knocked around a lot yesterday—or earlier today—or whatever. I have no idea what time it is.
She notices this, and crawls across the gap toward me. "We will need to obtain supplies soon," she comments. "Move away from the wall."
I do as instructed, and she sits against me so we are back-to-back across the gap in the doorway. She's warm, she's always just the perfect temperature because her healing factor does what's best for her body. I've often wondered what it must be like to not have to sweat the little stuff. The only thing that can really kill her out here are the Sentinels on full-power.
"Thanks," I say quietly.
"You are welcome," she replies.
We are silent for a long while after this. Probably twenty or thirty minutes. My migraine is easing up a little bit, and I start to think about what happened before I passed out, the whole thing where I saw inside Laura's head. The fact that we were kind of making out seems completely insignificant and unimportant, compared to that. I feel like I reacted kind of badly. It's not like she wants to kill me, and—despite the intensity—it didn't feel like she was obsessed with me in a bad way. It was love, it was similar to what I once felt for Sofia, but it was different at the same time. Stronger, and…I struggle to word it in my head, and finally come up with the term 'unconditional'. I think about this for a few more minutes.
"I'm sorry about earlier," I whisper finally.
Laura moves her head slightly. "Why would you be sorry?" she asks in a low whisper. "The mistake was mine."
"Well…" I shrug. "It wasn't a mistake, Laura. You should have told me…just—just not after a day like that. I didn't mean to hurt you."
I feel her stiffen. "You are not interested in me. And you have a partner." She pauses. "My emotions are of no consequence."
"Don't say that." I shift slightly, realizing something. "You're…you're my best friend, Laura. Of course you mean something to me. You mean a whole lot."
She says nothing.
"I just…I had no idea you felt like that and it's a lot to find out at once," I continue. "It doesn't mean we can't be friends anymore…but—"
"Please do not pity me," Laura says calmly.
"No, no, I…" I reach up and rub my eyes with my metal fingers. "I promise I won't."
"Then you do not need to explain more." She shifts as she brings her knees up to her chest. "Thank you."
I am at a loss for words. I can't believe she doesn't want anything from me. We lapse into silence again, until—at some point a while later—Cessily puts her hand on my shoulder. I am startled, not having noticed her approach.
"I can take your place," she says. "You need to sleep now."
I think for a moment. "No, I kind of passed out for a while," I admit. "But Laura didn't. She needs it more than I do."
"I am—" Laura begins to protest.
"Go sleep," I order.
She does as commanded without further comment.
…
"So what do we do next?" I put forth.
All four of us are sitting in a small circle. We've slept, we've cleaned our wounds as well as we can, and now we're trying to decide our next plan of action. We need to get Santo and escape this city of booby-traps that used to be Westchester. Somehow He knew we'd try to return to the school, and He laid a trap in the form of an enormous cache of Nimrod Sentinels.
When I say He, I don't mean god, because god doesn't exist for us. I mean the commander of the humans, the cyborg who calls himself Bastion. I call him a cyborg because somewhere after his attempt on Utopia failed, he regrouped and integrated a couple humans into his system through the T-O virus. Now he's a blend of the original Nimrod, the original Bastion, William Stryker, and Bolivar Trask. I've spent more than a few nights lying awake and trying to think if there's anyone worse he could possibly assimilate, and the answer is no.
"I don't know, but I want Santo back," Cessily says, her eyes narrowed. "And I want to know how they knew we'd come back here. I mean, logically…it's the last place we'd want to be, considering how many people died here."
"Nimrod can see the future," Laura says. "They are guarding something…something he knows we will use in the future. It must be at the school."
I look at her sharply. What she's just said has made a lot of sense…and has made an enormous impact, on all of us. The idea that we're not just rats scurrying aimlessly about, waiting to be killed…but that we could fight back. If Nimrod's afraid of us doing something, then that means we have the power to do it—and that means that there is hope.
Hope. I haven't had that in a long time. I can hear the buzzing of the other minds in the room, all struggling with the same concept. Sofia is the most eager to jump at the concept, but also the most hesitant, while Cessily has already decided. I chew my lip, look back at her, then at Cessily—and finally at Sofia, who returns my gaze hesitantly.
"You guys want to find out what it is?" I ask.
"Yes," Cessily says instantly. "After we get Santo…yes."
"It could be very dangerous," Sofia says apprehensively.
"Everything about our lives is dangerous," I reply, trying not to sound irritated. She'll follow me if I decide to do it, which I already have decided by even posing the question. I look at Laura, the deciding factor. She nods slightly.
"We could enter the school through the sewers," she says.
"That's brilliant, Laura," Cessily says. "But what about Santo?"
For a moment, we all sit in quiet contemplation.
"I'll get him myself," I say finally. "You guys will wait in here. If I'm quick…I mean, I've rested completely and—"
"No, we go together!" Sofia says urgently, thinking of the terror of last night, when she was alone in the darkness and thought dead people were talking to her. Her mother, her butler…Laurie…Nori…she almost followed Nori…"I do not like us splitting up." I am alarmed by her memory. How close is she to actually going insane?
"Sof—" I begin.
You guys fightin' about me? Santo's voice asks, faintly.
Only I turn, toward the entrance. There's nothing there. "Uh…Santo?" I ask. The others all stare at me, probably wondering if I've snapped, but I'm not paying attention to them anymore. I get to my feet and head toward the archway, then peer out into the sewer and look in both directions. Nothing.
Here, Santo says. He sounds faint still, but I'm pretty certain he's somewhere near me. Can you bust up a couple of bricks or somethin'?
"Probably not without collapsing the tunnel," I say out loud. I hear footsteps—the others have joined me. "Are you talking to him?" Cessily asks, sounding excited, but it's only a fraction of what's going on in her head. "Is he okay? Is he here?!"
"Yeah," I say vaguely, looking around us. "Shut up everyone and help me find some bricks for him."
"The ledges in the room," Laura says. "They will not cause a compromise of the structural integrity of the sewer."
"Perfect," I say. We head back into the room, and I begin to smash up one of the ledges into small pieces. Laura joins me, cutting into the wall more precisely so we will not eat into the room's supports. It takes us about fifteen minutes to accumulate a pile of rubble and pulverize it to the right size, but finally we sit back.
"Do you need my help?" I ask out loud.
No, I think I got it, Santo replies. I see a slight movement in the air in front of me—I don't think Laura does, maybe it's a mind thing—and then the brick fragments start to tremble, and skate across the floor, and then they swirl into the air…and Santo appears.
"Aw, man, they're sewer bricks!" he says out loud. Feel like a toilet, he's thinking. My mouth tastes like it's literally made of shit.
"Best we had on hand, seeing as we're in the sewers," I reply, gazing up at him. "Sorry."
"Better than nothin'," he grumbles. "I had a helluva time finding you guys—" he is interrupted by Cessily slamming into his side and wrapping her metal arms around him multiple times. "SANTO!" she shouts, overcome. Her thoughts are wordless but very loud: utter relief. I know if he had died she would've given up…and she knows that, too. I think she loves him but doesn't want to admit it.
"Hey, watch my ribs!" he protests.
"You do not have ribs," Laura says.
"Oh, right." Santo strokes Cessily's head fondly, which is resting against his shoulder. "Like I was sayin'…you were out or somethin', Jules, and no one else could hear me…and I kept fadin' in and out…I think that last blast really nailed me somethin' good. I ain't never had so much trouble stickin' around."
"Least you're here," I say, reaching him out and patting him on the shoulder—tink, tink, tink goes my metal hand against his brick surface. "Good to see you. I was worried."
"We all were worried," Sofia says. She is smiling at him. She has become fond of Santo over the years, and has thought of him as the literal rock of the group, always stable and loyal. I agree.
"Never do that again, okay?" Cessily says to him. It's not a question.
"He may have no choice," Laura says quietly. I look over at her, frowning. She doesn't mean to cast shadows on our moment of happiness, but she's too practical to believe it will remain that way. I think of how little happiness she has inside her, and I can't blame her.
"Laura's right," I say, before Cessily can reply with the sharp comment she's about to blurt out, not because she hates Laura—she views her like a sister too—but because she's been through a lot the past few days, and right now she needs to make-believe that things will be okay for a while if she's going to keep going at all. "We're always going to live in fear if we don't do something about it." I look at Santo. "She brought up a really good point earlier. Did you hear it?"
"Kinda," Santo says. "I heard somethin' about a weapon in the school?"
"We don't know what it is," I say. "Maybe Nimrod doesn't either. But he sees the future, and there's something there that he's guarding…"
"Which means we have to get it," Santo says, deciding immediately. "You guys plan it out already?"
"Not without you!" Cessily says, outraged.
"I proposed we use the sewer network to access the school," Laura says. "There was an entrance to the sub-basement in the women's washrooms…and the men's, I presume."
"It's probably all booby trapped," I say, which she has probably already thought of. "We'll need to be careful. Everyone buddy up…watch each other's backs…and Sof and I can feel it out ahead with our powers." I pause. "They've got to have a sentry watching the school itself."
"Yes," Laura agrees. "But we cannot anticipate how many until we arrive. I suggest we reconvene nearer to the school's entrance."
"Sounds like a plan." I look at Santo. "You need to rest up first?"
"Nah," he says. "Had enough rest when I was fading in and out. Let's get to it."
…
It takes us about three hours of hard going to reach the school. Westchester is only a ten minute drive, but there's five of us walking a narrow path along a sewer that twists and turns—and is occasionally eroded. To add to that, we have to carefully debate the direction we're travelling in. Laura is the best of us at navigating, since her eidetic memory allows her to recall which direction the school was in when she entered the sewer, as well as which direction she was facing—and what turns she has taken since. As I have said before, the one glimpse I got of her mind showed me that it's really complicated in there.
We're on a long straight stretch, and so I start thinking about the Laura-issue again. She asked me not to pity her—that's all she asked—and yet I can't help but feel bad for her. She's basically devoted her life to protecting me, and expects nothing in return. Absolutely nothing. I could treat her like something I stepped in and it wouldn't phase her in the slightest.
I've never met anyone so selfless, and it makes me feel kind of inferior to her, in a way. I can't love like that, or at least I never have. I didn't even know it was possible. When I fell for Sofia, I still wanted things of her, expected things. Her returned affection, her loyalty, her respect and that she would treat me well. Even the other relationships I had before her had some level of expectancy attached. I wonder, vaguely, how I ever could have thought of Laura as a robot, as a kind of mechanical animal. Or as a predator, a big hunting cat that lived to kill. How could I have made that big of a leap in judgment? Sure, she doesn't speak about it…but now every time I look at her, I can't help but notice that she seems a little otherworldly.
I happen to be looking at her right now, from behind, because she's walking ahead of me to fend off possible surprise attacks—on her insistence. I'm second in line, holding my hand up high to light our way. My eyes settled on her ass about five minutes ago, and have not moved.
She stops suddenly—holding up her hand—and I almost collide with her, just stopping in time.
"There is something," she says, after a few moments of silence.
"A trap?" I ask, focusing on our situation again.
She shakes her head slightly. "Organic. I think something is living down here. Julian..."
I nod and close my eyes, start reaching out. I can sense the others behind me, and Laura's blocked-off mind…I pause for a moment…then continue, searching ahead. I pause as I reach an area that doesn't seem empty, but doesn't seem human either. I blink and frown.
"There's something there," I say out loud. "I have no clue what it is."
"It smells human," Laura says. She looks at Sofia. "Can you bring its scent closer?"
Sofia hesitates, then nods and reaches out with one hand. I feel the air around us moving with the soft breeze she's created, and I have a memory of her doing figure eights in the sky beside me, laughing, having the time of her life. Dancing, like her name implied—Wind Dancer. I realize that even though she's standing right behind me, she's not that girl anymore. She died, somewhere along the way, and I haven't acknowledged it until now.
"It's…" Laura's eyes widen, and she looks at me for some reason. Her face—she looks horrified, and I feel disturbed at the idea, because I've never seen her make that expression. "It's Josh," she says, to me. "Josh Foley."
"Oh god," Cessily says.
"Josh?" Sofia asks, her voice sharper than I've heard in a while. "Josh is here?"
"I don't think he's going to be okay, Sof," I say carefully, as delicately as I can, as I know how anymore. "I can't even read his mind."
"We never even tried to find him," Cessily says, sounding hollow. I glance at her, and then helplessly at Santo. Take care of her, I tell him mentally.
"It's not your fault, Cess," he says out loud, putting his big brick-hand on her shoulder. "You had no idea…and you had—"
"It doesn't matter what I had!" she says. "We should've looked for him! We—"
"Stop it, Cessily," Laura says firmly. "You will remain here. I will go and meet him."
I wonder if she really means put him out of his misery. "I'll come," I say—not because I disagree, but because she shouldn't have to do it alone. "You three stay here and make sure we're not being followed."
"Julian…" Sofia reaches out and puts her hand on my shoulder. "Please…be easy on him. He needs our help now…now that we know."
I nod, lean over and kiss her forehead as a promise that I'll try, but I don't speak. Then Laura and I begin to walk along the pathway. Neither of us is looking forward to seeing what's become of our old friend, down here, if both of us had trouble telling he was human.
We have walked for about a minute, when Laura stops. She doesn't turn. "If we have to kill him…"
"I know," I say. "That's why I came."
She looks at me now, over her shoulder. "Will Sofia be angry at you?" she asks, her eyebrows drawn together.
I nod.
"Perhaps you should turn back then," she says.
"No." I shake my head. "I've failed Josh enough as is…whatever's happened, I don't want to leave him suffering. I owe him that much for the times he healed me."
She watches me for a few moments longer, then nods, and I find myself thinking she looks beautiful, even in the dim green glow of my metal hand in the rotting sewers. It's the craziest contrast I can imagine down here, where everything is green and slimy and eroded. I shrug slightly, and we continue on our way. After about three minutes we reach a junction in the sewers, and she holds up her hand to indicate that we are now very near. When we last saw Josh, he could kill people with a touch. That was when he was still human. Who knows what he can do now. We need to be careful.
We start to move again, very quietly.