Chapter 6: How Did I Get Here?

Isara

Here's the thing: I had never been the kind of girl to throw myself at every man that I met. In fact, after Jimmy, I'd go so far as to say that I had kept my heart fairly guarded. It was strange enough that I had fallen for Bones, and he was kind, intelligent, funny, and good-looking, and I had had plenty of time to observe him before even becoming friends with him. For me to get weak in the knees over a cold-blooded, superhuman killer that I had only seen once was downright worrying. I knew that it was the adrenaline, but that didn't make me feel any better.

I mulled over my situation as I tapped notes on my PADD about Bones's observations on the frozen body from the torpedo. How had I managed to end up aboard theEnterprise in the first place? Why couldn't I have just worked in a bakery like my high school friends?

It probably started when Jimmy forced me to join Starfleet.

I pulled the sheets up over my head, but I could still hear the rocks that he was throwing against my window. I was all alone in the apartment tonight—my roommate had ignored my pleas and gone out clubbing—so there was no one to go down and order him away. The last time this had happened, I had tried to chase him away myself. Just thinking about it made me shudder; I didn't want to have to call the police to drag him out of my house again.

Finally, I gave up and opened the window, tentatively poking my head out and making my presence known.

"Go away!" I yelled down, hoping that a neighbor would hear and come out and make him leave.

"I won't let you leave me!" The response wafted back up through the night air. "We were meant to be together!"

"Do you think that following me everywhere will make me want to be with you?"

There was a silence as Jimmy mulled this over, then apparently decided to ignore my fairly valid point. "I love you!" I rolled my eyes and yawned. "I will follow you anywhere on Earth just to see your face!"

Anywhere on Earth, I thought tiredly as I shut my window. Many hours later, lying in bed and hoping he had left, I found my path: there was a place that I could go where I would never have to set foot on Earth again.

Then I had met Bones.

"Hey, Jones. I just wanted to say sorry for Kirk. I know he's an ass. He knows he's an ass. I don't know why he needed to make that point to you; I'm just sorry about it. I'll make sure he leaves you alone. Oh, and… good for you, standing up to him like that. God knows where we'd be if he always got everything he wanted."

And damn it if I wasn't a little bit in love with the man.

Alanna walked into the room and I tried to pretend that I had been doing homework, but she strode over and snatched the picture frame out of my hand.

"I knew it!" she crowed, then started singing. "Isara and Leonard, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! You stare longingly at photos of him, you hug him all the time and blush when he walks into the room…"

"Shut up." I scowled and took the picture back, my thumb running over the vine pattern on the frame as I snuck one last look at the three friends in front of the mountains. "I was just remembering, that's all. I'm going to miss you guys."

Alanna sobered and sat down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders. "I'm going to miss you too, sweetie. I'll write you all the time, and I know that there's no way that Bones would ever forget to talk to you." She smiled reassuringly (and a little teasingly) at me, and I sighed in relief. Hearing someone allay my fears, however silly they had been, helped immensely. Being the youngest of the three of us, I would be graduating a year behind Alanna and Bones.

Then I remembered what she had sung about us sitting in a tree, and I blushed again. It wasn't altogether a bad image, but what chance was there of anything happening before they left?

After dreading it for so long, I had to watch as they left.

I sat on my bed and cried. All classes had been cancelled after the Enterprise incident, and they were still waiting to get reports on the number of deaths. I knew full well that the medical and engineering staffs were two of the most vulnerable groups on the ship, because they didn't have the luxury of being able to strap themselves in and wait out the crisis; they had to keep doing their jobs no matter what was going on. I had always felt a sort of pride at this important job, but now that feeling was bittersweet. If there had been any deaths, Bones was likely to be among them.

My PADD blipped the "new message" icon just as the small information screen announced a news update. I tried to open them both at the same time.

"Dear Isara," "No deaths whatsoever," "I'm fine," "a miracle," "going back to Mississippi," "valiant actions of Captain Kirk," "during the Enterprise repairs," "ship will require extensive repairs," "sorry I can't see you," "should take about two weeks," "I miss you," "senior officers receiving awards," "but my family hasn't seen me in a year," "Pike injured but alive," "talk to you soon," "Captain Kirk, Captain Pike, Commander Spock, Lieutenant Uhura, Dr. McCoy, Mr. Scott, other officers…"

I flopped back onto the bed and sighed, the tears still wet on my face and polar emotions swirling in my heart. Bones was alive, but I wouldn't see him. Wonderful.

Then, thankfully, I had been reunited with Bones.

I was really frightened. I hadn't had a panic attack since the last time I had seen Jimmy, but it felt like I had one coming now. My palms were sweaty. I was panting, and my stomach twisted into itself and squeezed. I spun wildly, looking for any landmark on this unfamiliar ship, when my eyes settled on a puzzled face.

"Isara?" All of the tension fell away when I heard that voice say my name, and I closed my eyes and sighed. Everything was going to be okay.

Aboard the ship, I had kissed Bones.

It was a wild impulse, one that I knew I would either regret later or be grateful for all my life. My eyelashes fluttered as my lips brushed his, careful not to get too close in case he should feel that I was being aggressive. All that I wanted to be was supportive, because my amazing, wonderful Bones needed my help.

When I pulled away and saw the expression on his face, I wasn't sure yet which of the previous options the kiss had turned out to be. His eyes were closed and he hadn't reacted badly, but he looked so… confused.

When he opened his eyes I licked my lips. I was easily able to identify the brand of whiskey from the one taste; I had had to do something to prevent myself from breaking down any time I saw someone who looked like Jimmy or why was named Jimmy or who even looked at me the wrong way. That was done with by the time I enlisted, but I still had "the taste."

I raised my eyebrows. "Jack Daniels? Really?"

Finally, I had made eyes at John Harrison. Apparently. My memory was beginning to be warped by confused emotions.

I didn't realize what I was doing until Bones looked at me. Then I felt a sort of defensive shame. Sure, he had no right to expect me to avoid every other man on the ship, but I had just made a show out of announcing my affections. The mixed signals there must have been pretty crazy.

And yet he shouldn't be policing me, my mind retaliated angrily. I did nothing wrong.

I was so lost in my thoughts that Bones had to snap his fingers in front of my face before I realized that he was speaking to me.

"Dr. Jones!" He glared at me, showing all of the southern temper that others knew him for and none of the southern sweetness that he usually showed me. "I asked if you got all of that down!"

"Yes, Dr. McCoy." I gave him a brief smile and swiveled my PADD so that he could see my neat bulleted points. Even while deep in thought, I was still a master note taker.

"Good. Send that off to the lab with the list of specialized tests for the blood." Bones turned away from me again and went to work on another info screen as Kirk and the others filed out of the lab. I did what he said, but kept half of my gaze on Bones's tense back and rigid shoulders.

"Bones?" I called softly across the med bay. He turned his head to the side slightly to indicate that he was listening. I looked around to make sure that all of the nurses had left to do inventory on the storage room before continuing. Gritting my teeth and forcing myself to make the first move, however unjustified I felt his anger, I said, "I'm sorry."

He held up a hand. "If you want to chase after serial killers, that's none of my business."

"Okay, thanks," I rallied bitterly. His shoulders hunched upwards in surprise but he didn't turn around. "I'm glad I have your permission. I'll just head up there now."

He spun around, and I knew that I still had him. "Don't do that." He was glaring at me and I realized that he was just as damaged as I was. Playing with him wouldn't do any good.

"Look, you big idiot," I exploded, hands painting the air before be with broad gestures, "I'm trying to be nice and apologize here, even though you're hugely overreacting. I honestly don't think that Harrison is in any way attractive, and if you would just get over yourself for a second you would see that." I crossed my arms, waiting for his reaction.

Bones slumped, losing some of his tension but not looking any more receptive. "I just thought that, after you kissed me, that maybe you wanted to be more than friends." He sighed deeply. "Please go back to work. If I was wrong, then that's my fault."

"Bones, that's what I've been wanting ever since I met you! But you never looked at me twice. I never wanted to ruin our friendship, and then I kissed you today and you didn't react at all. I was mad, are you happy? And I was disappointed, and Harrison was attractive and it's still really none of your business—"

Suddenly Bones was kissing me. My mouth continued to move in speaking patterns for a fraction of a second after our lips met, but soon I leaned into the kiss. It didn't last as long as I would have liked because Bones pulled away to resolve the conversation.

"I'm sorry, Isara." He put his hand on the side of my face, his thumb grazing my cheekbone. "I'm such an idiot."

I smiled in spite of myself. "You're not an idiot. Of course you're not. We both overreacted. And it won't happen again, because I will actually communicate and you will not be jealous of me doing my job." He returned my smile, leaning closer until—

"I do hope I'm not interrupting." I whipped around to see Harrison in the doorway, framed by six members of security. His expressive mouth was curled in a superior smirk.

Just then, Kirk came on the comms. "Bones and Jones, hopefully I'm interrupting because the rhyming rule still stands." We shared a glance. The captain may have been joking but his voice was grim. "I'm sending Khan—Harrison—down to the med bay for safekeeping. Keep an eye on him for a while, will you?"