Chapter 15 - Hello everyone! Thank you for reading and for quietly waiting for a new chapter of Second Chances. We really hope you'll enjoy this new one as much as we enjoy writing it. Please, if you have minute let us know what you think about the chapter and the story, it really helps us writing! We have a lot of good stuff ahead and would love to hear what you all think. Lots of love and gratitude, now go and read! The authors xx
Richard Webber was a calm man, a gentle man but also a stern man and a man who didn't tolerate his staff trying to kill each other on the surgical floor. Under any other circumstances he would have yelled at them right then and there, giving them an immediate suspension of work, but under these circumstances, Richard couldn't find it within himself to cause more grief to Addison than was necessary.
He sat at his desk, eyeing the men before him in silence, the tension grew to an exponential level in the room between the two surgeons as Richard still kept his silence. After a moment of letting the men wither in anxiousness he began to shuffle the papers on his desk and take off his glasses. Richard cleared his throat and began to speak, this time with the anger slowly intensifying within his voice.
"I want an explanation. I want an explanation as to why the hell on earth two of my star surgeons are screaming at each other in the middle of my hospital!" Richard spoke. He eyed the two men down again, but before either one of them could respond he continued as a sign of his authority over them. "You know that there are other people in this hospital, people who are sick, people who are in pain and people who are trying to recover from traumatic ordeals, yet you two idiots and yes I will call you idiots, think it's ok to disturb them from their recovery with your own personal issues because the whole world revolves around you two doesn't it?"
"I personally am more interested as to understanding why Dr. Shepherd here is suddenly so concerned with my wife and my child's conditions?" Jake replied cynically, glaring at Derek.
"Oh, she might be your wife now but she was my wife for 12 years and I've known her since we were both 20… So I don't see why it's so out of the ordinary to visit her and see how she's recovering." Derek retorted in an attempt to defend himself.
Jake shook his head and laughed at the neurosurgeon. "Ladies and gentlemen I'd like to welcome Dr. McDreamy back to the building, reprising his role as the caring and irresistible neurosurgeon that sweeps women off of their feet. It's funny though Shepherd because a little less than a few days ago you left Addie there to die, you weren't dreamy or caring, you saw that she was trapped and that she was scared and in labor. You say that you care and you say that you're the good guy right? So how is it that a man who is so dreamy and so wonderful watch the woman that he called the love of his life for over 12 years wither in pain and just leave her there to die without so much as a second look?" Jake began to yell as all of his internal rage began to rise. "Damn it Shepherd you took an oath to her and to medicine and you failed on both occasions. So no you don't get to see her, you don't get to talk to her and you certainly do not come near our son, or I swear to god I will hurt you twice as much as you ever did hurt her."
Derek sat there with guilt painted all over his face as he tolerated each unbearable lashing of pain that Jake slapped him with. He was shrivelling back into his shell as the harsh reality of his actions were becoming more and more real, as the whole world was now becoming familiar with the events that took place on that fateful night.
"Is it true, Derek?" Richard asked with complete shock written on his face. He knew that there must have been something going on between Addison and Derek, heck there was always something going on with Addison and Derek but never in a million years did Richard think that Derek was capable of something as hostile as this.
Jake was so angered and so full of rage that he thought he was going to burst right there and then, all he wanted to was protect Addie and his child and not being there with the man who did all of this to them.
"If you excuse me now, I'm going to see my wife and my son, no thanks to you Shepherd."
Derek didn't have it within him to look the man in the eyes so he averted his gaze to the ground and kept his eyes fixated on the corner of the mahogany desk. He knew that he didn't deserve to have a place in Addison's life anymore but he knew that no matter what he would always own a part of her and she would own a part of him, and now that Christopher was here and the spitting image of himself, he couldn't bare the thought of walking away, not again.
"I…I… I didn't mean to hurt her Richard. I swear on my life I… Please, trust me, I can't get those images out of my head. She was screaming so loudly, in so much pain, I've never seen her like that… I was in panic…" he said in a desperate attempt to justify his actions. Richard gave him a serious look, "You panic, Derek? You're a doctor, a neurosurgeon, you are familiar with situations like this, it doesn't justify you at all!" Richard knew there was more and Derek wasn't telling the truth.
Derek said as he buried face into his hands and began to sob uncontrollably, "If only I can change the past... I…I walked away and I lost her once again…"
Richard sighed at stood up walking over to the man and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. Derek Shepherd was falling to pieces right in front of him and all he could do was watch him slowly deteriorate right there and then. He needed a moment to process this, to take it all in and Richard couldn't find it within himself to say anything, too stunted by the words that had just been spoken, as if his body wasn't his own and he was simply a spectator caught in the self-destruction of Derek Shepherd. He squeezed his hand right once again, letting Derek know that he was there.
As soon as Jake left Richard's office, he headed to Addison's room. A sense of relief pervade him as he found his wife quietly talking with Nancy, he smiled and gently asked "Are you fine?"
She nodded politely and smiled at him the best she could, "I'm fine, Jake, my blood pressure is a little too low, but you know better low than high!"
He checked again her file chart, but before he could start to read the last update, "I know what you're thinking, there's no sign of bleeding, she's perfectly recovering" Nancy reassured him.
He moved close to the bed and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, "Are you sure you feel fine?"
"I'm fine, Jake" she replied "I just want to go back to my baby..."
"We can go together..." he said squeezing her hand
"Jake, honey, you look so tired and exhausted, why don't you go home, have a shower and get some sleep?"
"Addie's right you know Jake," Nancy echoed as she flipped the page of her magazine. "I promise you that I will take good care of your wife and your child."
"I know you're in good hands," Jake said as he leant over his wife and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"What a gentleman!" Nancy commented as Jake casually left the room.
"He's my knight in shining armor, I'm so lucky to find someone like him… Talking about finding people, do I sense a bit of something something between you and doctor Hunt?"
Nancy began to blush at Addison's remark and tried to defend herself. "I… Owen and I, don't be ridiculous Addison. We're just friends, I mean at first he was really cold and distant but since you've been at the hospital I've gotten to know him and he's actually a really kind man."
"He's a smart and good looking surgeon and more importantly he's single. If I were you I'd go and jump him straight away!"
"Oh my god Addison, shuuuusshhhh! I think they may have upped your medication a bit too much!" Nancy said laughing at her friend.
"Oh come on Nancy, he was in the army so you know he'll protect you." Addison said with an evil smirk.
"It was only one time and he offering me a cup of coffee and we talked for a while." Nancy replied.
Just then, Amelia knocked at the door and quietly came into the hospital room, carrying two bags of baby goods threatening to spill over the edge.
"Hey there, what's going on? Why are you both laughing? What did I miss?" Amelia said in anxiousness.
"Men!" Addison exclaimed. "…Nancy here is in love!"
"Shut up!" Nancy said in shock, throwing her magazine at Addison, in an attempt to stop her from continuing.
"Wait what?" Amelia gasped. "Who are you hot for big sister?"
"She's hot for the chief!" Addison bursted out.
"uhhhhh… don't you think that Richard is a little old for you Nance? He's got like a good 20 years on you." Amelia commented with a sour look on her face.
"Oh MY GOD" Addison screamed out before bursting into laughter.
Nancy by now was bright red in the face as the horror escaped from her mouth. "No, Amelia, god no!"
Addison was wiping the tears away from her eyes as she tried to stop her laughter and regulate her breathing. "Oh my god Amelia, you almost make me pop a stitch." Addison said in between laughs. "Nancy's into Owen."
"WOW! I like him!" Amelia commented.
"What did you bring? Seems like you clean out a toy store!" Nancy interrupted in the desperate attempt to change subject.
"Just a couple of thing for baby Chris" she said showing her …. "Clothes, blankets, baby toys, feeding essentials… you know the normal things a baby needs!"
"You're definitely spoiling him, auntie Amelia!" Addison said as she started to look at the gifts, "They are adorable, Amelia!"
"How's the little man?" Amelia asked.
"He's really improving, I'm positive in a couple of days he will be out of the NICU, can't wait to go home with him" Addison told her friend happily, then she added, "Jake did a couple of pictures, do you want to see them?"
"Of course!"
"Ohhh, he's adorable, he will be an heartbreaker, you know, Addie… Look at this one, what a fierce grasp, is that your finger?"
"Yeah…"
"Oh, and this one where he is screaming…he's beautiful even when he's annoyed!"
Derek Shepherd sat in the secluded corner of the cafeteria staring blankly into distance as held the burning cup of hot coffee in his hand. Everything was slowing crumbling around him and all he could do was sit there in silence and watch his whole world fall apart right before his eyes. Think about Meredith was exhausting and dealing with everyone around him and trying to figure out where he stood was enough to almost enough to push him over the edge.
"You would think after years of living in Seattle, that you'd get used to the rain, but somehow it always seems to get you in the end." A voice said from behind the distressed surgeon.
Derek looked up to see a collected Arizona Robbins standing over him. She smiled at the neurosurgeon and sat down beside him sensing that he needed someone to talk to. Under normal circumstances Arizona wouldn't really converse with Derek, but sometimes strangers can be the easiest people to talk to.
"It's not the rain…" Derek replied absently.
"You seem different Shepherd, you're distant, distracted." Arizona said as she stared at the grey sky through the window.
"Days like these make me miss Mark the most." He said averting his gaze to the bottom of his coffee cup.
"You and Mark go way back don't you?" She said sipping her coffee.
"He was my best friend and I used to confide in him, asked him for advice. I…I know that, it may sound strange to you, but Mark was a good guy he always knew what the right thing to do was, especially with Addison…" Derek replied as he looked up at Arizona and stared into her eyes. "He was the reason we met."
"It seems like the three of you have a lot of history together." Arizona commented.
"Mark and I had always been childhood friends, he knew me better than I knew myself at times. We went to medical school together and when you're away from home you're friends are like your family, Mark was my family and then Addison came along and everything just seemed to fall into place." Derek smiled to himself for a minute and continued on as he reflected on his past. "I've always known that she was brilliant, since the very first day that I met her… It was like a very tacky cliché.. I mean I literally ran into her and we both dropped our textbooks and we looked at each other. She simply brushed me off when I offered her help, always so dignified and protective. Next thing I know I'm sitting across from her in gross anatomy and we were lab partners."
Arizona noticed the change in Derek's mood as his face began to light up, but rather than interrupt him, she wanted to see how it would play out.
"Mark used to always found a way to get us into trouble, I swear we almost got kicked out so many times but Addison was always there making me study, helping me revise and constantly supporting me, she's the reason I finally became a doctor. I mean she saw something in me that no one else had ever taken noticed of before. I had never felt so comfortable around her, so safe and everything that we did together just made me love her even more. For everyday until eternity, or until I'd be as dead as that body."
"Derek, you miss her don't you?" Arizona said with a cautious look in her eyes.
"What do you mean?" Derek asked being caught off guard.
"You talk about your med school days like they were yesterday. I mean the way that your face changes when you mention her name, that doesn't just happen with anyone. Most people would think that given the circumstances the two of you would agree to peacefully co-exist with one another. I mean you're with Meredith and she's with Jake, you both agreed to disagree and parted ways with each other, at one point people said that you called her Satan and that you couldn't even look her in the eye. What changed?"
"I….I don't know." Derek said as he searched for his answer in the grey Seattle sky. "A few days ago I thought that Addison cheating on me with Mark was the best thing that could have possibly ever happened to me, it was the reason I moved to Seattle and changed my life for the better, I started my family, built my dream house and my career has never been better. How can 2 days change a person, how can such as short amount of time just complete change your view of the world. I can't stop thinking about her and asking myself what if? What if things had been different? What if I had been different? There's just so much history there, she's my family."
"Shepherd, I know that we don't really talk but I think that you should really sit down and figure things out for yourself. You have a wife and two children at home who need you, but then again you're heart's not in it and you might find yourself wondering every day if Addison was the one. Take a moment Shep, and breath, you've been through a lot in the past few days and you look exhausted." Arizona said with a smile. "You're a good guy and you shouldn't let things like this get you down."
"Thank you Robbins." Derek said smiling for the first time. "You're a good friend."
A week had passed since Addison was admitted and the Montgomery-Reilly family was finally ready to leave the hospital and go home. It was no lie that Addison was over joyed that she was able to leave the hospital and finally start being the mother that she had always wanted to be. Today was the first day of them truly becoming a family and leading a relatively normal life.
Miranda checked Addison's and Christopher's charts and vitals because she gave them the all clear to be discharged. The smile that was plastered onto Addison's face was unlike anyone had seen for a long time and she for one couldn't wait. Jake approached her with the wheelchair, but Addison outright refused. After minutes of arguing and a threat from Bailey to keep her admitted, she eventually gave in and sat in the wheelchair.
As they entered the parking lot and approached the car, Addison took a deep breath and smiled at her newborn son. Seeing him safe in her arms and finally going home was like a dream that had finally come true. Jake looked down at his wife and gently took the baby from her arms and placed him into the car seat. Whilst he was clipping the infant in Addison took this as her cue to say goodbye to the doctors that had saved her life. Everything in this moment was so surreal and so wonderful that Addison couldn't think that her life could be any better. She hugged Bailey, Callie and Nancy, then turned to Richard and returned his embrace.
"I don't want to see you here for at least another month, ok Addie?" Richard said in a warning manner.
"You know me Richard, I can't make promises like that." Addison replied with a smile on her face.
"I'm not saying this to you as a friend but as ordered by the Chief of Staff at Sloan Grey Memorial, Addison. As much as I love seeing your face, you need to take some time out and be at home with your son, he needs you right now and the two of you have a lot of catching up to do." Richard added. "And Reilly, you better keep an eye on her, you of all people should know how stubborn she is."
"I will Richard, I promise." Jake said as he ushered his wife to the car.
The three of them were clipped in and slowly exited the parking lot of the hospital. As sad as it was to say goodbye to all of her dear friends for a while Addison knew that what was happening right now was for the best and everything that she had ever wanted. Jake looked into the rear view mirror and smiled at his wife and child, they were finally going home.
As the happy family departed the grounds of Grey Sloan Memorial, Derek Shepherd couldn't help but look on from the walkaway on the second story. He saw her smile and the look of pure happiness within her eyes as she finally said her goodbyes and left. Truth be told, the sight completely shattered the neurosurgeon as he finally saw that she was keeping true to her word and moving on without him. Derek was angry that he couldn't find it within himself to be happy for her, not because she was content with her new life but because she was better and fully recovered. Anyone who walked passed the surgeon could see the guilt and pain written all over his face but many continued to walk on, keeping to themselves to avoid his wrath.
A soft hand squeezed his shoulder gently as he stared out the window. At first Derek flinched at the touch unbeknownst to him, but the familiar face soon entered his sight.
"It's ok to feel conflicted when you see someone that you love move on, right in front of you." Arizona said as she joined Derek. "She's healthy now and so is the baby. No one else is more qualified than her to take care of that child and you know that."
"I….I..just wish that…." Derek tried to say before Arizona cut in.
"You wish that you could be down there, saying goodbye and making sure that she's fine." She said as she finished his sentence.
"How is it that you know me better than I know myself right now?" Derek asked in curiosity.
"Sometimes Shep, there are people going through the same thing as you right before your eyes." Arizona answered looking down at the ground.
"Things aren't ok with Callie, are they?" Derek asked.
"Things aren't ok with Meredith, are they?" Arizona added.
"We're just two messed up people, who can't be happy for the people in their lives." He said realizing that he had found a friend in Arizona that was unlike anyone else before.
Arizona sighed and leant against the neurosurgeon's shoulder, Derek sighed too taking a moment to come to terms with what his next move was.
We promise more is coming... as always comments, advice and critics are very welcome!