A/N Okay here's the 15th Chapter! Sorry it took so long I was on holiday and haven't updated for three weeks! Anyway I hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 15

Prying Eyes

It's Monday again, usually the dread of millions of people, today I just can't wait for my day to start. I lazily drag myself out of bed again, I decided to get up about 8ish, I don't feel like I've wasted the day but at the same time I felt I've slept in a little.

So now what's on for today? Youtube? Research? Is that what I'll call it, research, yeah going on Tumblr and basically stalking your boyfriend's internet life for work is called research right?

Hold up. Boyfriend. Is, is he my boyfriend now? I guess he is. It's a weird but beautiful concept really.

After the kafuffle of getting ready in the morning only to sit in the same position all day, I finally sit comfortably on my sofa with a cup of coffee.

Searching now Phil's username, AmazingPhil, I end up on a long spree of his videos, and even I can admit he's really adorable. Any girl would be lucky to have him.

The first I watch is on the recommended on his channel, 'Halloween Brownie Graveyard' Even though it's nowhere near Halloween honestly I have no idea where to start.

Ploughing through loads of his videos creates a deeper understanding of his character and what he's like, much like Dan, even though I already personally know him it's a nice insight to his life and past.

Not trying to seem totally stalkerish I end my long spree after I judge to be about 20 videos, including meeting his mother, the saga of Simon and his whole life also in drawn form, not to mention the Krave challenge of his lion suit.

After giving it some thought I make a list of the stereotypical character the fans would know them as, under Phil I put, 'Lions, innocent, cute animals etc' and under Dan's it's hard not to simply put 'awkward, llamas? and, - placentas' although I'm not sure how that would help me.

It does feel weird making a list like this because I obviously know I've got something there wrong, knowing a person in real life is so much more different than how they present themselves to fans on the internet, no matter how well you may think you know a person I guarantee there will always be something extra.

I'm almost at the point of brainstorming further ideas for art, when on the suggestions list, a few videos called 'Phil is not on fire' pop up.

Curious, the links lead me into what feels like a time lapse of their friendship. This first video is obviously what Dan referred to himself as 2009 Dan and warned me to stay away from, but honestly it's too late now I'm already in fits of giggles laughing at their antics.

Soon finding myself on a journey of their friendship, I realise that as they progress it seems they still have that deep connection but don't express it as much, like in the first video obviously I saw it as two guys just mucking around, and if someone didn't point it out to me I would not have seen it as anything more.

Great, now I'm on this huge philosophical tangent of finding my two close friend's past when one didn't even want me to, the fact he was so cautious of me finding it does make me feel slightly guilty that I'm not respecting that, although his past is the best way to do my research, right?

Almost until I do get carried away again, my phone buzzes once more, It's Dan.

Dan – 'Morning!'

This text alone brings a huge smile to my face, all morning they haven't failed to make me smile.

I text back,

Maddy – 'Morning? It's almost midday! I've been up since 8! Haha' Then I do realise I have been sat on youtube for 4 hours, but that's completely normal...

Dan – 'oh well I have a screwed up sleeping pattern midday might as well be midnight for all I can tell! I just woke up! So what are you up to?'

He is still texting back almost instantly, and I still like that.

Maddy – 'Actually I've been 'researching' you and Phil again! Just my job now I guess, I'll start designing soon I hope'

Dan – 'Oh I feel so weird when I know you're watching me! It's a strange feeling! Okay I'll leave you to it, tell me if you have any questions for either me or Phil okay?'

Maddy – 'Sure, will do'

As I seem to close the conversation I realise there is something deeper down in me that I know about Dan now, I feel I could analyse everything he does and make it seem like I have known him all my life – yet now I see no one including me could have as a special relationship as Dan and Phil.

DAN'S POV

Just seeing Maddy's last text, I feel happier when I'm connected to her, even if it's just a few exchanges of texts a day, it still feels more special than anything I ever have before.

Residing in basically having a do nothing day, apart from writing a script for a new video, Tumblr it is.

Slouching in the sofa by the TV as I usually do, pulling open my laptop I am greeted by the all too familiar Tumblr homepage, there since I last sat on it for hours on end.

I follow a few people who are fans of me, they do this really annoying thing where they change their blog just so I follow them, then flip back into someone who spams my dash with things I really don't want to see.

My dash is full of once more pictures of me and Phil on last night's radio show, not like I don't like seeing my face; just sometimes it gets a bit annoying seeing the whole fandom's reactions every two seconds.

I'm about to unfollow this one person, but as my scroll bar jumps down, I'm met with the post which I have dreaded since last night.

There on my dash, I see endless amounts of reblogs from this person – of Maddy.

Arguments, conspiracies, strings of posts just of her face and her standing awkwardly behind us outside the studio, every picture captioned by a hateful or curious comment, which really is none of their business.

My stomach drops, and a beating headache wells up inside of me. What have I done? Have I put both Maddy and me in danger? The urge to cry, the emotion and frustration of this all swells up and I can't take it anymore, I keep scrolling, it would be better if I don't but I can't. I keep going, the anxiety and worry for our safety grows as I see the comments.

'Who is this anyway?!'

'We saw her leaving with them!'

'Look how close she is to Dan who is she?'

'What gives her the right to be with Dan she's so new we've know him for longer!'

I feel the anger and means to just punch the screen, though that will never do me any good. I can't believe they can't just leave my personal life out of things! I've seen the shit storms about Cat in L.A, it happened only last month at VidCon – and my brother – don't get me started.

They will never stop.

'Phil!' I cry out, a catch in my voice, I don't know what to do.

'What?' this is just like the time a few months ago, calling him in for another one of my problems. 'What's wrong?' I bet he can here in my voice I'm not okay.

I haven't moved from this spot, stuck in shock at my laptop screen.

Phil hastily steps into the living room, searching my face for answers, 'Loo- just look' I turn my laptop towards him not being able to utter any more words, I can't believe this is happening.

'Why what is it?' He walks across the room and sits beside me on the sofa edging the screen towards him.

Frowning at me he turns his attention to the screen, and you could pinpoint the time he realises what has happened just by the pure expression he now shares with me.

'Wha- what are you, we going to do?' His voice is also catching a little in panic.

'I don't know, this is' I can't find any words. 'it's all wrong' I mutter to myself, unsure if he heard me.

'Seriously Dan why would they do this what's their problem anyway?

'They're stupid that's what! They have and never will see I have a personal life! They'll never leave me alone!'

'No not all are like that, there are some lovely fans now-'

I cut him off, 'That doesn't change anything! What DO WE DO NOW?'

'I DON'T KNOW!' He's raised his voice to battle mine now, and I feel myself drawing into hysterics once again, panicking of the prospect of our relationship being over.

'NO PHIL DON'T YOU SEE? They, they could ruin EVERYTHING!' I turn away, touching my face I realise I have been crying, the anger dispersing through my tears.

'Not if you don't let them! We've coped all this time. What makes you think something stupid as a few fans would change how Maddy feels about you?' He stands now trying to take hold of the situation,

'No! You've seen what they do, everything' I breathe in sharply forming the words, 'Honestly I'm scared.' There I've said it. I've told someone. He must know before this, I bet he is too, but this is the first time I've ever said that.

'You're what? Scared, Dan' He sits and shuffles closer to me now and I look up at him, once again he tries to comfort me. 'Yeah who wouldn't be? Look I trust Maddy, you know her well enough don't you? She'll understand, you said she's seen our videos right? I bet she's already seen what the whole fandom is like in the comments, they're not - normal'

'You're right, they're not normal, they're jealous and can't keep to their own business.' I mumble my thoughts to myself.

'You're going around in circles now, come on, realise there's nothing you can do, you can't hide Maddy from them forever. They would've found out from the Day in the life vlog, right? Speaking of which I was going to upload soon anyway...'

'But they obviously found out how I didn't want them to, I wanted to just side track them with the video I guess, I don't know what I was going to do – it's happened so fast.' I see Phil is just concentrating on my every word, as I speak quietly. 'I really love Maddy, you know that, and I never want to lose her to something to stupid and simple as a few jealous and confused teenage girls.'

'You won't.' He is affirmative and sure.

'What? How would you know that?' I say louder and clearer to him, looking and stretching up.

'I won't let them. You said it yourself before; you would never let them get in the way of your personal life. Let them think what they want. Tell Maddy, or don't I'm sure she'll understand but if you're not, just don't tell her about them, actually I don't know I'm confused myself now' He heaves and breathes out, resting his elbows on his knees.

I sniffle, pulling my hands back and wipe my face in stress, the beating headache making my thoughts fuzz around. 'Okay, sure, I could just reside to keeping Maddy safe, protecting her, if she has to know I would rather tell her than her being bombarded with abuse if they were to find out who she was to me.'

'Exactly, see if you just calm down and think about it, you fans aren't that scary, the prospect of losing someone you love is – I know – but they can't do anything that you won't let them do.'

The impact of what Phil said hits me hard, I know what he's referring to, and I know I could control the fans who technically I created if I try. I will not let them just ruin my friendships like they already try to do with Cat or Bryony, I see what they can do.

Seriously I think shipping in real life people caused more problems than solves them, I think it's fun and all for them but with real people things like this happen and it hurts people, even if they don't realise.

'Okay, yeah okay, okay, okay' I breathe it into my hands, trying to pull myself together, honestly the last few months since I met Maddy has had me on an emotional rollercoaster it's surreal. 'Thanks, you're always here for me,' I smile up at Phil and I'm met with a similar expression, 'I am for you right? This isn't too one sided as it seems for me sometime?' Trying to distract my thoughts from further turmoil, I change the subject.

'Huh? Oh yeah even this morning we looked out for each other' He gives a little chuckle and stands up, stretching out his body and walks towards the door as I nod in return. 'I'll just finish editing and upload tonight, is that alright?'

'Sure, I'll figure out how I'm supposed to explain to them, I mean it's not like we have other friends they don't particularly now about,' I crack my knuckles and turn my concentration to the screen, closing the tab of the dash, 'It's just this time it's definitely different'

'True, okay I'll let you get on with it then, see ya' He walks out back to his room after I nod and smile back, and then focus on how the hell I am going to put this to them all.

I'm about to put this out on the internet for everyone to see, then I hold my thoughts back, realising the most important person in this situation is Maddy. She's the one who might get hurt most, and doesn't even know. But is that for the best?

If I act like nothing happened around Maddy, then she doesn't even need to know about this, she won't get scared or creeped out this way, I mean I would.

But isn't this untrustworthy? No. It's for her own good. There's no need to make her sad for no reason when there's a way out of this.

I refrain from explaining now. Instead I just leave it alone, I won't talk of this to anyone else, only Phil knows, he wouldn't tell anyone, I'll act to them like I don't even know, or notice, that's for the best too.

In my thought track I remember the live show tomorrow evening, I can't miss another one they'll bug me even more! I'll have to do it, and as much as the YouNow chat annoys me already, I'll just skip through all inquiring questions – if I can.

xxxx

After another whole day of various texts between Maddy which never fail to make me smile, and mainly to seem normal like nothing has happened – I minimise the windows for the planning for my next video and stretch out my arms from hours of a cramped position on my bed.

Just relaxing after a day of concern from this horrific mess and anxiety, Phil opens my door with an edge of urgency in his voice.

'Dan! It's like half nine! Aren't you going live tonight?!' I snap my head up to look at him, the realisation leaving a look of shock and denial on my face. 'You already missed one!?'

'OH SHIT I forgot!' I exclaim – I can't believe this oh shit fuck 'No okay thanks goddammit!'

I rush up, accidently yanking the charger out the socket and tripping over it, Phil rushes out the doorway as I try to quickly carry the MacBook into the lounge where I can do the show.

'Good luck at them not murdering you!' Phil calls as I run down the stairs, and I can't help but smirk at him and give him a little glare as I enter the lounge.

Finally sitting down I shove in the power lead and load up YouNow in a desperate hope to stop any suspicion from the whole fandom on my whereabouts and making stupid rumours about Maddy and Me again.

It loads and I quickly tab in the queue button whilst frantically apologising on Twitter etc and trying to look slightly less flushed and more normal to be on camera to a thousand people.

Actually, I don't even know why I have such a high expectation of myself from them anymore, why I am forced to do this (even though I said I would), why can't I just do what I want? Even with such a free career as Youtube I can't help but think these things sometimes.

Eventually it loads and I wave away the previous person in the show room, feeling bad for kicking them off when they thought I wasn't coming, but I brace myself for the imminent hate, joking or not, on twitter and the chat.

'hey guys!' I say to the camera, the blue light glooming at me, 'Sorry I'm so late! I was, busy planning a new video! Yeah it's that interested I forget my own live show – won't happen again okay?'

Looking at the comments in the chat flood in, I keep up a conversation with the thousands of other people, theyre still a little daunting to me though, for about 10 minutes.

'Right is everyone here now? Probably not it's like 10 now sorry you should all be sleeping I guess argh!'

Scanning the chat, the usual stick out as I batter answers to them,

'Hi Dan!1!' – 'Hello!'

'WHERE S PHiL?!' – ' I don't know!'

'COME TO AUSTRALIA!' – 'I Want to!'

'Favourite movie?' – 'As I have said before, Kill Bill is good'

I still can't get over how I've answered these hundreds of times before yet people still feel the need to ask me and not just Google it, I'm sure the answers on there somewhere god.

Then suddenly I see the imminent wave of someone who has caught on to the subject matter of Maddy and then everyone copies them typing the same question into the chat.

Soon it's totally filled up with a flood of most insane prying teenage girls, but I can pick out a few rare pockets of actual questions.

I hold my ground and answer a few, but then more come in,

'STOP IGNORING US WE'RE ALL ASKING THE SAME THING HERE!'

That's the last straw.

I'm about to just shut the laptop lid and never go back. Ditch them all. I've had it up to my depth with them now. Holding back the annoyance which I can feel is threatening to relapse into tears again, I breathe in to keep it in, and don't breath out for a long time.

I leave them in silence. I don't move, I just try to reform myself back together. Realising I am still on camera, I panic slightly and scrape my mind to hold the normal structure of the live show together.

'Spotify update? Okay!' I didn't even see it in the chat but it's something to distract them from it. 'Who do you guys think I've been listening to this week then? Probably hasn't even changed..'

I don't even bother opening Spotify, I just read out a few suggestions, brushing off a few stupid ones like 'Delia smith!1!' and 'MuSE!' And just say 'No you're all wrong it hasn't actually changed it's that random piano guy from last week!' It's not that I can't be bothered, I just rather I didn't have to do this in the first place.

As soon as the music suggestions filter back out of the chat the continuous stream of condescending questions about Maddy start all over again.

I catch a message in there of someone becoming a fan though, so use that to bung up the chat with the alternate route of them all becoming fans again, 'Thanks Stevie for becoming a Fan!'

Just as I expected a few seconds later the chat is stacked high with people's names and the same message so I read out a few,

'Thanks Laura and Oliver and Michael and Amy and Steph and Ellie' I read out a few probably hundred too just to shut them up about Maddy, which takes a while and I'm sure whoever I called out is now in a fit on the floor just from me noticing them, I still can't get over that feeling.

As if timed perfectly, just as I finish reading the names out, a stereotypical police siren screams past my window outside, I usually ignore the first few as I get so many, but I take my chance with saying 'oh guys! It's Guess the Crime!' As a wave of 'Guess the crime!' messages also pool into the chat.

I'm still really not in the mood, usually these cheer me up, but it doesn't seem to today.

I read out a few, relating to things I said earlier in the show like,

'Dan listened to not Piano Guy!' – 'meh'

'A live show without a siren!' – 'Yeah good one!'

'Your shoelaces were stolen' – 'Haha I like that one!'

Until one of them finally hits me. I see in the blur of the moving messages from them all-

'That girl is Dan's Girlfriend!'

Excuse me. How is it a crime I have a girlfriend anyway?! What warped idea of me do they have? I'm human! Of course I would get some relationship someday! I can't believe them, if it's a joke or not do they not think before they type? Of course they don't, no one does anymore anyway.

It's a split second before the remark has disappeared away in the chat, and that I'm relieved of for a short while, as I continue to read a few of their suggestions out again.

Suddenly another one like that pops up, and another, and another, they want an answer.

I am instantly tempted to lie, clear it all up, but if I deny it, it will definitely hurt Maddy and me in the long run, so I don't, also I would probably end up complicating what I say into something on their terms would translate into me coming out. Like they do with everything it seems.

Soon the hype has died down and I just chat to them about nothing mainly, or something I guess they just like taking screenshots of my face I guess.

The pit in my stomach hasn't disappeared since earlier, but every message is chipping me away inside a little by a little, until I imagine I will either have nothing left of me to hold together or I'll snap.

What seems like a lifetime, after aimlessly responding to questions it's half ten and I sign off. Thank god.

I guess Phil heard me say goodbye to them, as a second later he's in this room again, it always seems like he's checking up on me now,

'Hey' I greet him,

'Hey I heard you end it, how'd it go?'

I give a short sarcastic laugh, 'Oh, fabulous, totally great.'

'So not well? How much do they think they know, or you know bug you?' A tint of concern creeps into his voice.

'Not well at all. Endlessly. Just streams of comments and I just feel worse now, why can't they just leave me alone anyway?'

He sighs, 'Yeah it's funny how you can be so happy, then so sad in a heartbeat – I wish things like this didn't even happen.' He sits down on the chair opposite me now, 'What are you going to do about Maddy anyway?'

'It is, I don't know why. Yeah I won't tell her anything, I haven't, I won't I don't want to get her caught up in this, under no means!'

'Good plan, yeah I haven't said anything I think she'll be okay!' He chuckles and turns the mood for better with a joke 'Will you stop getting into problems I don't like being so serious!'

'Yeah well me either!' I laugh back with a smile on my face, he does just what a best friend should, help you in problems and make you smile whenever. 'You have to stop too you're scaring me with such a level head it's not you! Since when could you sort out your own problems anyway?'

'I don't know but I know I have a better sense than you sometimes!' He smiles cheekily and quickly tries to exit, but before he can leave I lob a cushion at him playfully so it hits him causing him to yelp as he does. And I'm finally reminded even in bad times you can always lighten the mood with forgetting worries for even a second.

A/N Well I hope you liked it! Updating soon!

Please favourite/follow if you like it, and review if you have time to tell me what you thought of this Chapter! ^.^

Also quick note of thanks, I woke up to 71 followers who came out of no where! So thank you so much it means a lot to me that you seem to enjoy my writing! :D