Chapter Three: I Wanna Shout Out

"What I said was that Vince was on board with the plan," Peter replied, "and he will be."

"WILL BE?! FLEMING!" Deveraux shrieked. "YOU SON OF A…"

"Oh, joy," Vince said sarcastically, as he entered the room, "you brought Deveraux with you." Faraday hadn't taken well to the shape shifter, possibly because of the latter's opinions on open marriage.

"Vincent, do you know what your husband has done?" Deveraux asked, all but trembling in outrage. She felt used; like she was just a pawn in one of her descendant's schemes, rather than a surrogate chosen by a hopeful couple.

"I'm sure I'll regret asking."

"Now, hold on. It was nothing bad," Peter insisted.

"Alright, Peter, what did you do? Don't tell me you got her pregnant," Vince joked. There was an awkward pause.

"If you'll just let me explain," the billionaire began.

"I'll kill you," Vince said, his tone dangerously flat. "And then," he said, turning to Deveraux, "we'll find out just how 'immortal' you are."

"He told me you knew about this!"

"Vincent, it's not what you think!"

"So she isn't pregnant?"

"She is, but we didn't have sex."

"Haven't since you two got together," Deveraux said, pouting. "But that's not the point."

"Okay, back up," Vince said. "Then who is the father?"

"About that, Vincent—"

"You are," Rebecca replied.

"Excuse me? I think I'd remember it if we'd—"

"Sweetheart, remember when you said you wanted to have another child?"

"What, you want to adopt Deveraux's child?"

"Not exactly; let's sit down," Peter maneuvered his husband over to the couch. Deveraux sat in a nearby chair. "Certain research came into my possession—"

"Do you really want to drag out this conversation in front of a moody pregnant woman?" Vince asked, indicating the shape shifter.

"Fine, I'll be brief. We've both wanted to have another child. I found a way for us to have a biological child."

"Come again?"

"The fetus that Deveraux is carrying was created using a combination of your D.N.A. and mine. Vince, we're going to have a baby."

For a moment, Vince thought Peter was having him on. The idea sounded like something out of a bad sci-fi/romance novel. Then again, so did the idea of a perfume making him realize his subconscious desire for his archenemy. In fact, compared to the fact that his husband's ex was (an allegedly immortal) shape shifter, this seemed plausible.

And Peter didn't look like he was joking.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Vince screamed. "You complete MORON! You didn't think that was something we should discuss BEFORE you went ahead and…"

"I can see that you're upset," Peter interrupted his irate spouse.

Upset? Peter, he looks homicidal, Chess put in.

"But I did this for us. I wanted to surprise you. And you did say that you wanted to have another kid."

"Yes, but that was in theory! I didn't mean I wanted to have one with you and… oh, god, Chess!" Vince ran his hands through his hair. The idea of sharing a son or daughter with Peter's psychotic alter ego was horrifying. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"Calm down. Take deep breaths. Deveraux, would you give us a moment?" Peter asked.

"If you need me, I'll be downstairs," she replied. An apartment had been set up for her on another floor of ARK Tower. She'd stay there for the duration of the pregnancy, and afterwards, if she had anything to say about it. "Oh, and Faraday: Don't kill him without me."

"I make no promises," Vince grumbled as she left.

"Chess won't be a problem," Peter told him.

"Not a problem? He's a psychopath. He doesn't belong near children. He should be behind bars."

"Yes, well that would require putting me behind bars, so you'll have to settle for keeping him under control. Chess was around while Jamie was growing up, but he wasn't involved in raising her."

"So you screwed that up on your own."

Peter flinched. You should've seen that coming, Peter.

"I'm sorry, Peter. I know that's a sore issue with you, but you opened the door by… How did you even have a sample of my D.N.A. on hand? No, don't answer that. This is insane—"

"Some would say the same about our marriage." Come to think of it, Vince had said the same about their marriage.

"That's different. This'll never work."

"Maybe I should've been a better father to Jamie. But this will work. I know it will."

"How can you possibly know that?"

"I know because this time, I have you."

"Peter…"

"Even death wouldn't keep you from being a proper father to Trip. You'll be there to guide me, to keep me in line. We'll make it work together."

"Still has disaster written all over it," Vince shook his head.

"Look me in the eye and tell me you're not excited about this."

Vince thought for a moment before replying.

"I am," he said, a smile finally crossing his features. It was just starting to dawn on him. Oh my god, we're having a baby. "I do want this baby. But I'm still nervous about it and… Seriously, Peter! Did it even cross your mind that couples should discuss having a baby first and agree on it instead of one going off and acting unilaterally? Yeah, I know, you said you wanted to surprise me. A baby isn't like a surprise party, Fleming! You don't just jump out and spring one on someone!"

"You're right." Peter braced himself. "I apologize. I'll keep that in mind next time…"

Vince thwacked him on the arm.

"What 'next time'? We haven't even had this one yet. I don't think we should start planning more."

"The next time an important decision has to be made then," Peter rephrased. "I'll be sure to consult you first."

"Good. What on earth possessed you to use Deveraux as a surrogate? You know how I feel about her."

"I needed someone we knew; someone we could trust."

"And mentally stable was too much to hope for, I suppose?"

"You're the one that actually takes her claim of being my ancestor seriously."

"Yeah, well, haven't you noticed that Jamie looks like her? You haven't? I thought it was obvious."

So that's why Jamie thinks Deveraux is creepy.

"Assuming you're right, Deveraux might have intentionally…" Where was the aspirin or the whisky, for that matter? "Let's change the subject."

"Fine; oh crap."

"What is it?"

"I just realized. Peter, we're going to have to break this to the kids." That should be fun.

"Shall we talk with them one at a time or both at once?"

"Better make it both at once. This isn't a conversation that I'm going to want to relive. As a matter of fact, maybe you could tell them and…"

"So you won't have to participate?"

"Well, you didn't seem to think it was important for me to participate when our child was being conceived—"

"Guilt will get you nowhere, Faraday. Don't forget who you're talking to."

"I hate you."

"You could have divorced me at any time during the past three years."

"I still might."

"If deluding yourself allows you to sleep at night, then don't let me stop you."

~VF~

"So what's the big announcement?" Orwell asked, looking at her nails. Maybe she should try painting them purple. Her teenage stepbrother sat next to her on the couch. Vince was seated opposite her, with her father standing next to him. "Are you getting a divorce?"

"No," Vince replied.

"You running for mayor, dad?" she asked.

"That seems pointless, since I already run the city."

Although you could use it as a stepping stone to a higher office, Chess pointed out.

"Are you going to tell us who the Cape is?" Trip asked, hopefully.

"When you're older," Vince replied.

"Then I give up," Trip said.

"Just tell us, Vince," Orwell said, making eye contact with him.

Peter squeezed Vince's hand.

"Trip, Jamie: Peter and I are going to have a baby."

"What?" The stepsiblings stared at the men.

"You mean you're going to adopt," Jamie said, slowly. Even that thought was hard to process. Three years and she still didn't see how her father was Vince's type.

"Not exactly, no. It's a little complicated. Peter can give you the technical details, but we've found a surrogate. You're going to have a little brother or sister."

"I told you I would've preferred a dog," Trip muttered.

"Aren't you going to congratulate us?" Peter asked.

"Congratulations," Trip said. He elbowed his stepsister.

"Oh. Congratulations," she echoed, as she pulled out her smart phone.

"Orwell, put down that phone! I swear, if I find anything about this on your blog…"

"You're not my father, Vince," Jamie pointed out as she reluctantly lowered the phone.

"That's irrelevant. You'll do what he says," Peter told her.

"Or what, you'll cut off my allowance? I'm not twelve!"

"Then don't act like it."

Vince put his head in his hands.

"Oh, yeah; having another kid is going to be fun," he sighed.

Author's Note: Chapter title from "Take Me Away."

Thanks again to IronAmerica and Orwell for reviewing!

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