Sometime in the night, Mackenzie had moved even closer to Will. He woke up to find her burrowed deep into his chest, her head tucked just below his chin, arms curled up between their chests, she was gripping his this white t-shirt.
The morning sun was starting to shine through the windows, Will could feel the warmth on his back. He shifted slightly away from her, kissing her forehead he felt her relax again. He made his way into the kitchen and began to work up something for breakfast. He made her favorite: crepes with fresh fruit and orange juice. When everything was set at the table, he made his way back to the bedroom.
"Kenzie," he whispered in her ear. "It's time to wake up, hun."
"Just a little longer?" she pushed him away. He smiled. He was glad to see her finally getting some sleep.
"Just come eat. We can nap after breakfast."
"What's on the menu?" Her eyes were still closed. Comfortably still wrapped up in Will's sweatshirt.
"Your favorite. Straight from France."
"Really?" A smile came to her lips, her eyes still closed.
"Well, not really. I made them a little while ago."
"You made me crepes?" Her eyes opened.
"Yes…" Will responded.
"William MvAvoy." She smiled.
"Mackenzie McHale." Will joked. "Come on, before it gets cold."
She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She pulled the sleeves back over her hands and followed him into the kitchen. Will couldn't help but notice the way her face lit up when she saw breakfast laid out for them.
"This is great Will," she took a drink of orange juice. "Thank you so much."
"It was my pleasure."
"About last night, I just want to apologize for everything. I know that there is a lot that is wrong with me and I know that I need a lot of help and I know that I am just so fucked up."
"Kenzie, there is nothing wrong with you." Will moved closer to her, taking her hand in his. " You just need to relax and trust me."
"I need to talk to someone." Mackenzie spoke without looking at him.
"When you are ready, you can visit Jack again." Will responded.
"I can't see Jack." She whispered.
"Jack is a great listener and he can help you through this."
"Will," Mackenzie swallowed hard. "I can barely get close enough to you without freaking out on you."
"You can't think like that."
"But I can, because it's the truth." Mackenzie was starting to get more panicked.
"Kenz, you're fine." Will was pulling her to stand up. "You know how I know?"
"Billy." She allowed herself to be pulled up. "I know that I need help."
"No," Will pulled her into his arms, holding her to him tightly.
"Billy, please." She started crying. She pushed against his chest.
"Mackenzie, relax." Will talked softly in her ear. "It's me."
"I can't." She was shaking and crying uncontrollably.
Will knew that this was pushing her beyond every limit she had. He knew that it was possible that she could break into a million pieces in front of him. He knew that this was the cruelest thing he's ever put her through. But he had to make her see that he was the good guy.
"Kenzie, baby." He whispered in her ear. She wasn't pushing away from him, but she was still fighting to fully relax.
"It- it's hard to-" Mackenzie sputtered.
"Look at me," he pulled away, holding her face in his hands. "I'm not going to ever hurt you. I know he hurt you. But you know me – I've touched you and have made loved to you before. Hold on to that. Remember a few days ago, you fell asleep on the couch with me? Remember when we were at your place just a few weeks ago, and we almost made love again on your couch? Remember last night, I didn't hurt you."
By now Will had tears in his own eyes. Mackenzie was nodding her head, still breathing erratically and crying hard, but she understood. She fisted her hand in his shirt.
"Okay?" He questioned.
"Okay." She stuttered the word out quickly.
"Thank God," Will whispered and pulled her back into his chest. She didn't fight him this time. She welcomed the suffocation that came with his hug.
"Billy," She leaned back out of his hug. "I'm sorry."
"Stop," Will put a finger up to her lips. "I don't care. I just need you to know that you are safe in my arms."
"I know…"
"Just remember whenever you get scared that I am your safe place. You knew instinctively that you'd be safe with me by calling me every time you were scared or whenever he hurt you."
"I never doubted my safety with you. I just get scared sometimes when-"
"I know. It's okay." He combed her hair behind her ear.
"That's what I need help with. Whenever someone touches me I imagine it's him. I can't help it, it just happens."
"Maybe I can help you with that." Will smiled. "Would that be okay?"
"I think that would be okay." Mackenzie sounded confident, but her hands began to shake.
"Relax Kenzie." Will smiled. "In time and when you are ready."
"…slow?" Mackenzie's words were muffled in his neck.
"As slow as you need."
"Thank you."
"Let's go lay down, get more rest. We only have a couple more days here and we have to figure out what to do about this Brenner situation."
Will lead Mackenzie back into the bedroom, they both crawled into bed together. Will let Mackenzie get situated before moving closer.
"Billy," she asked, facing him, with her hand on his chest – exactly what she did last night. "Can you just remind me some more?"
"Of course." He smiled.
"It's just that when I close my eyes, sometimes it's harder,"
"Honey," he pulled her closer to him and she closed her eyes. "It's me."
Her ragged breathing evened out and became deeper. Will kept a firm hold on her, whispering every now and then to her, just so she'd hear his voice in her sleep.
