Brandon had already left to meet his dad, but Callie was still in the living room when Connor went flying out the front door. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked the younger boy, but the only answer she got was the sound of the door closing behind him. Callie got up and looked up the staircase, but there was no sign of her brother.
"Jude?" she called as she got to the second floor. His and Jesus' bedroom was empty. "Jude, where are you?" She realized the bathroom doors were shut, and trying to open them revealed that they were locked. "Jude, are you okay? Jude!"
"Go away," he tearfully called.
"Are you hurt? What happened?"
"Leave me alone!"
"I can't do that, buddy. Talk to me." Jude finally opened the door, and Callie's heart clenched at the sight of the tears running down his face. "What happened?"
That started a fresh flow of tears. "I screwed up," Jude admitted.
"How?"
He turned away and went over to sit in the empty bathtub. Callie closed the door behind her and just waited for him to be ready. Unable to look her in the eye, Jude started running his fingers over the turtle stickers on the wall. "I was working on my project with Connor, and I… I kissed him. I didn't mean to; it just happened!"
"Oh, Jude…"
He cried harder. "I'm sorry!"
Callie climbed into the tub along with him. "There is nothing you have to be sorry for. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of. You are who you are, and I'll love you no matter what."
"Connor ran away."
Callie sighed. That was a problem she had no idea how to fix. "He was probably really surprised," she tried to reassure her brother.
Jude sniffled. "He doesn't like me back."
"You don't know that."
He shook his head. "No, I know. He turned around and ran so fast… I bet he hates me." The thought made him feel sick. "He's my best friend and now I ruined everything!"
Callie stayed with Jude for a little bit longer, trying to comfort him, but she knew that she was out of her depth. However, she also knew exactly who to turn to for help. "I'll be back in a minute, okay?" she told Jude as she started to get up.
"Where are you going?"
"To find Stef and Lena... Is it okay if I tell them?"
Jude shrugged. "They can't fix me either."
Callie kissed his forehead. "You're not broken. I'll be back."
% ^ % ^ % % ^ % ^ %
The moms were in the kitchen getting started on dinner when Callie got downstairs. "Can we talk?" she asked them, a little bit hesitant.
"Sure, love, what's up?" Stef replied.
"Um… It's actually Jude that needs you, not me."
Lena frowned. "Is he okay?"
"Not exactly… I've known for a while that Jude's different, since before I even realized why. And I knew that someday, he would realize it, too."
"Today's the day?" Stef softly asked. Callie nodded. "What happened?"
"He tried to kiss Connor. And it did not go well."
Lena sighed. "Yeah, life can suck sometimes." She looked over at Stef, and they had a short conversation just with their eyes. In the end, Lena nodded slightly. Based on her own experience, she could relate a little easier to their pre-teen foster son. "I'll go talk to him," she assured Callie.
"Thanks," she replied. "He's in the bathroom."
Stef took her foster daughter's hand once they were alone. "Are YOU okay?" she asked. Callie looked a little pale and shaky.
"I don't know…" she said with a sigh. Stef went to get her some water. "I knew this was coming eventually, I just didn't expect it to be now. I mean, I can protect him from bad foster parents or kids that bully him, but... I can't protect his heart."
Stef put down the glass and squeezed her hands. "He'll be okay," she promised. "He may be hurting now, but… the good thing about hearts is that they can heal."
Upstairs, Lena knocked on the bathroom door. "Jude?" she called, "It's Lena; can I come in?" She heard the lock click on the door. As she opened it, she saw that Jude was climbing back into the bathtub. "Hi, there."
"Hi," he replied as he curled up with his knees underneath his chin. "Callie told you?"
"Mmm-hmm. She's worried about you."
He sighed. "I feel like such a freak."
"You are definitely not a freak," Lena assured him as she sat down on the edge of the tub. "I know that right now you feel different from everybody else, but you have to remember that there are lots of people in the same boat. Including me and Stef."
"That's different," Jude told her. "You're girls. But boys really aren't supposed to like boys."
"Yeah, well, there are people out there who don't look too kindly upon girls liking girls, either. But nobody is 'supposed to' do anything other than what makes them happy." Jude didn't answer. "You know, you're a lot braver than I am."
He scoffed. "No, I'm not."
"You are! I was too scared to ever tell my first crush anything about how I felt."
Jude looked up with one eyebrow raised. Both of his foster mothers had always seemed so strong and fearless. "Really?"
"Really. I still remember her - Megan Tolliver. And I remember the way I felt. She was so beautiful and popular and I was just this gangly klutz and always had my nose in a book. She didn't even know I existed."
"You never told her anything?" Jude wondered.
"Nope. And then she started dating one of the football players and I was so upset."
Jude sighed. "So she wouldn't have liked you back, either?"
"Probably not. I wondered sometimes in high school and college if there was something wrong with me, why I couldn't find the right person to love me."
"But then you met Stef," Jude pointed out.
Lena smiled. "Eventually, I met Stef," she agreed, "And I wouldn't trade our life together for anything in the world... You'll find the same thing someday. And whether they're a girl or a boy won't matter because you'll love each other for who you are."
"I wish I'd already found him," he muttered.
She smiled. "When it's really love, it's worth the wait. Sometimes now I think maybe life isn't easy so that we can really appreciate the good things. And then we're able to help someone else when they're going through hard parts."
Jude looked back down at his knees. "Do…" he started to ask, but then trailed off.
Lena took his hand. "What is it?"
He took a deep breath. "Do you think that the people on TV are right?" Jude quietly asked. "That God hates us and we're going to Hell?"
She shook her head. "Not for a second. God wouldn't have made us this way if it wasn't okay."
"My first mom is in Heaven," he explained, "And I want to see her again. But I've been scared that I won't if I'm gay."
"Oh, sweetheart…" Lena knelt beside the tub and pulled Jude into her arms as he started crying again. It was stunning how much pain a few ignorant, spiteful people could cause. "You're going to see her again."
"Do you promise?" he whimpered.
"I promise. You are going to live a long, wonderful life, and then you'll go to Heaven where she'll be waiting." She let Jude calm back down, waiting for his sobs to turn into sniffles. "How long have you been keeping all of this to yourself?" Lena softly wondered.
He shrugged. "I don't know… For a while. I didn't want it to be true because I was afraid."
"I wish you'd said something, sweetheart. You don't have to be scared. Your mom is looking down on you and Callie every day, and I know there's nothing that makes her happier than when you're happy."
"You didn't know her," Jude pointed out.
Lena smiled a little sadly. "I know," she told him as she and brushed his hair back. "But that's the first rule of being a mom."
TBC...
A/N: I know I got at least one request that Stef be the one to help Jude, but I thought Lena was a better fit. Sorry!