A/N: Ok so I did want this up yesterday, but things got in the way. On the other hand I think I'm quite happy with it so enjoy! oh and also thank you so much to everyone who review and who are following this! It puts the biggest smile on my face seeing that people are enjoying this.
Chapter three:
I wake with a twitch, Clara is drawing patterns on my stomach were my shirt has lifted up in the night. I smile to myself and start copying the pattern on her back. She stops but is giggling. I feel myself get a devilish smile, she notices. I slightly lift her shirt up on the side and her eyes widen. I place my finger tips lightly just above her hip and start tickling her. She squirms, laughing loudly and starts pleading for me to stop. Tears start appearing in her eyes, that's when I stop.
"Well Clara that's what you get for waking me up."
She shakes her head and she props herself up on her elbow, our faces just inches apart. I swallow hard unable to look away from her lips. She whispers with a hint of need.
"Doctor"
I put my arms around her waist and pull her closer, then I stop searching her eyes to make sure its ok. She answers my question by pressing her lips to mine. Its a long slow kiss filled with warmth. I run my hands up and down her back, she wiggles herself more on top of me. I can feel her body pressed against every part of me. The kiss deepens and we are struggling to breath. She is straddling me now and I am losing the battle to keep my control. My hands are on her hips pressing her harder into me and I can't tell whose moans are whose. I begin kissing her neck and she cries out my name. I smirk, my breath hot in her ear.
"What do you need Clara?"
Her breathing is heavy, one hand has a tight hold of my arm the other running up under my shirt, her hips are rocking so softly I'm sure she doesn't know she's doing it. I can't let her lose control I need more. I roll us over on the couch so she is on her back and I'm mostly on top of her. She pulls me closer and traps one of my legs between hers, I lean down and place soft sweet kisses on her cheeks and then move to her neck which I claim as my own. As I kiss lightly down her collar bone my hand moves up under her shirt towards my goal.
"Doctor, maybe we should slow down." her voice is raspy when she speaks
I pause and I look up at her, there is lust in her eyes but also a sadness. I nod placing my head on her chest listening to her heart, willing myself to calm down. Ok count how many races have no noses, ok thirty eight, now think of how many switches on the console. I think my hearts have caught up now. I let out a big sigh relaxing while she stokes my hair and I pull us tighter together. I don't really understand but I don't want to push her, I will do whatever she needs me to do or not do. We lay there for an hour before she speaks.
"Doctor what happens now?"
I smile without looking
"Well we could stay here or.."
I look up at her grinning and wiggling my eyebrows
"I could take us to the best pancake place in the universe!?"
she laughs at my excitement. I take that as a yes and jump up ready to go. Then I realise she looks worried
"Is there something wrong Clara?"
she shakes her head in a no and looks down at her shoes. I hold out my hand and she takes. I pull her up into my arms and kiss both cheeks. She sighs happily.
"Doctor, I never thought this would happen."
I start to sway us from side to side humming an old tune.
"What's that Clara?"
She puts her head on my shoulder.
"Us, what ever us is."
I kiss the top of her head again.
"All I know is you are the most beautiful woman I've know in a very long time and I couldn't bare it if I lost you. Whatever you need us to be, that's fine by me."
she nods and we sway for a bit longer before she looks up and kisses my cheek.
"Doctor I care for you very much, but I'm just not sure if I'm ready for this yet. I mean I want this, I just feel a bit.. full? at the moment. and when we, umm are close? its wonderful but then I remember and it gets in the way. So I'm sorry if I seam a little insane sometimes."
"Clara, you can take as much time as you need. Because I don't have any doubts it was very obvious you wanted this."
I feel myself smirking and she slaps my arm, blushing
"Doctor! I can't believe you just said that"
"oh? Why's that?"
"Well because you normally get all flustered at the thought of well any of this kind of sexy stuff"
I can't help but laugh and she tries to glare but I can see she is trying not to laugh.
"Sexy stuff?"
I take a few deep breaths to calm down and look at her very seriously
"Look Clara, while you were asleep it was one of the hardest things I have had to go though and I know how much I care for you and I don't want to hide it anymore"
"Hide it? like you felt this before?"
I simply nod. She leans forward and places two kisses on my shirt where my hearts are and looks up into my eyes. We smile at each other until her stomach growls at us to get moving. She giggles, blushing slightly
"Well Clara I guess we should get going. Race you!"
and I run off to the console. Clara is not far behind and I begin pressing buttons and switching levers, making it more of a show then needed. when we land I grin at her a bit goofy and she smiles shyly at me. I hold out my hand and she takes it as we step outside.
We step out of the TARDIS onto the parking lot of Bettys Diner. A standard, if not run down, fifties diner in the middle of nowhere. I turn to her a bit excited.
"Bettys Diner, best pancakes in the universe!"
She is standing there with her mouth open
"Where are we?"
I grin from ear to ear.
"We are in between galaxies, The diner just floats around space, kind of like a space truck stop."
I look back to the view. It is quite glorious stars completely surrounding us with no other lights to dampen them. I put my arm around her shoulder and start pointing things out.
look stars and the turn and point
"See that is Earth, that's Midnight, that's the Dagmar Cluster, That's the Isop Galaxy which contains Raxacoricofallapantoriu, that's the Lost Moon of Poosh, "
I turn to her with a cocky smile
"Which I returned by the way. That's - "
she puts her hand on my arm to stop me.
"Doctor, its wonderful. I feel like I can see everything from here."
I can't hide my grin and I think I might be jumping up and down a bit.
"So you like it?"
She smiles at the millions and millions of stars.
"its beautiful."
I take her hand and begin running inside.
"If you think that's great you should try the pancakes!"
I frown when I see she is laughing at me. I know the beauty of the location amazes her, but the pancakes amaze me more.
The diner isn't the fanciest place, in fact its a wonder how it still floats. The white and black checked floor is badly scuffed, the bar stools and booths all red and chrome which is flaking. But who doesn't love pancakes? We take a booth with the best view and Betty walks up.
"Hi kids, what can I get ya?"
I smile brightly
"pancakes please!"
she looks me up and down and sighs already tired with me. Then she turns to Clara.
"So pancakes for both of you? and something to drink?"
She looks to me unsure and then turns back
"Umm, what's good here?"
Betty sighs like she is sick of that question and drones out her reply
"We have water, a varieties of teas, coffees, -"
She goes on but I have lost interest and have spied an old juke box in the corner. I hop up and play the jazziest number I can find and then run back to Clara who must have dealt with Betty who was now gone. I offer my hand
"Clara would you care to dance?"
she giggles and takes my hand
"certainly."
We dance around the room getting glares from Betty until the song ends, Clara takes a step away a bit out of breath.
"Doctor I think your a bit too much fun for me"
and she sits back down. I plop down across from her.
"I guess I should try to remember that your still recovering."
She smirks
"yeah! you should"
she laughs as it takes me a minute to relies that she really isn't upset. Luckily that's when the pancakes come and two cups of tea, Clara smiles knowing she made the right choice. We eat in silence, the pancakes are just how I remember them. I have almost finished when I see Clara has stopped eating.
"You don't like them?"
maybe I should have gone with the best waffles in the universe. She looks up with sadness in her eyes.
"Oh, I'm fine, I mean there fine."
She looks down and starts playing with them. I put my hand on hers, stopping her.
"What's wrong?"
she puts her fork down and looks out the window without seeing anything.
"I, I uh just remembered the last time I was in a diner."
What's wrong with diners? I can't think of a time I took her to a diner? all I manage out is
"oh?"
she nods
"well it wasn't me, me. It was one of the other me's"
I nod and wait for her to reply, she takes in a shaky breath.
"Its all jumbled and seams almost like a dream, But I remember working in a diner. A very boring job until you walked in."
I take a sharp breath hoping she wasn't there that day.
"I saw River, Amy, Rory and you. I was your waitress. I knew something was going to happen so I followed you. I saw the astronaut shoot you. I saw you die."
A tear falls down my cheek, she was there she saw everything. She is shaking her head, tears flowing.
"I knew I had failed, I didn't go back to work, I just, I guess I just died at that point? I'm not sure."
she put her head in her hands.
"What happened? I saw you die? you didn't regenerate."
She was sobbing now. I get up and sit next to her pulling her into me
"Clara its ok, I'm fine, your fine. Its all ok now."
She nods trying to calm down. I help her up and we go back to the TARDIS.
Inside she brakes down more and I have to pick her up. I take her to her room and lay her on the bed.
"Clara?"
she just sobs. I sit on the edge of her bed resting a hand on her shoulder, she flitches away.
"Clara if I could take these memories away I would."
She stops and look at me with haunted eyes
"if I remember them, I forget who I am."
she lets out a one more sob.
"Its too much"
I shake my head not knowing how to help
"Clara I-"
She rolls away from me
"Please Doctor, I just need time. Can you please leave?"
My hearts sink, but I know there is nothing I can do. I stoke her hair as reply
"As you wish."
I walk out of the room and just wonder the halls.
A/N: Ok so I'm sorry I ended on a sour note, but please do review and I promise it will get happier! most likely..