Standing in the Dark - Chapter Twelve
Three years later….
"What are we doing again?"
Kendall Knight turned around to frown at the red headed boy who had been walking behind him but had stopped as soon as Kendall turned around. The boy was several inches shorter than the blonde, but still managed to be taller than Logan, who stood beside him with an annoying look on his face. This was the third time the redhead had asked that question and it was starting to tick him off.
"We're going around town and acting like we want to be doing this and buying a lot of things from our sponsors and RCMCBT Globalnet Sanyoid products for good publicity." Kendall explained. He was slightly more tolerant to the boy's frequent questions but to be honest, it was starting to get on his nerves.
"And we need more publicity because…?" The redhead pondered, trailing off and leaving room for one of the other boys to finish the sentence.
James, who stood on the boys other side ran a hand through his sandy brown locks and sighed. He was the most tolerant to the boy and it kind of reminded him of an old friend. "Because Logan had to make a huge scene with Miranda in public and give us some bad publicity. Now we have to balance the bad with the good."
"Oh… But why do we have to do this on our day off? Isn't that what day off means? To not have to worry about publicity?" The boy questioned, his curly red locks looking slightly more brunette than red.
"Because Gustavo said that Griffin said that Fujisaki said that we need to do this before the press finds more dirt on the band and everything goes downhill." Logan sighed as Kendall started walking again, the other three boys following him.
James turned to face the redheaded boy beside him, feeling a little nostalgic as he did so. The boys name was Andrew Milligan, better known as one fourth of Big Time Rush and the replacement for their original fourth member, Carlos Garcia.
You see, the public absolutely loved Andrew. He was one of the hottest stars in Hollywood and as soon as he became an official member of Big Time Rush a little over three years ago, the band had sky rocketed it's popularity. He was younger than the rest of the boys, having joined when he was seventeen and turning twenty in a few months. Kendall and James had just recently turned twenty-three and Logan was going to catch up to them in just a few months time.
Andrew Milligan was known by a lot of things. His curly red locks that got him confused for a certain British musician by the name of Ed Sheeran more often then not. His voice that made girls swoon at every concert, acoustic performance, and basically any time he walked down the street. Also, there was no denying that he was good looking as well. He stood next to James on the attractive scale, but the older boy was still in the lead.
But the one thing that most people didn't know about Andrew, but everyone that did know him knew, Andrew didn't know a lot.
He just wasn't exactly the type of person you could have an intelligent conversation with. He was school smart, yes, managing to keep his marks on B level, but he wasn't smart when it came to, well, anything else. Like the purpose of good and bad publicity, for example.
"Now come on, here's an electronics store that Fujisaki just opened. Let's buy a camera or something and get a move on. I have a date with Cynthia tonight and I want to be back in time." Kendall commanded rather than suggested as he lead his band mates into the store.
Logan didn't miss the gleam of excitement in Andrew's eyes as the boy practically sprinted into the store, the thought of buying cool electronics making him shake enthusiastically. He wouldn't admit it, especially not to Kendall or James, but the past three years had been hell without Carlos. The minute Andrew became an official member of Big Time Rush; Logan had realized just how wrong everything had been.
He realized that he had turned into a monster. He had screamed at Carlos, beaten him up, and abandoned him. Kendall, James, and Logan had practically turned on their best friend for no reason. They had hurt him, and not just a little. What they had done to him was bad – and Logan didn't know if it would ever be fixable.
It would be an understatement to say that Logan felt guilty. He felt utterly and completely awful for what he had done to Carlos, his best friend. Ever since he realized what he had done, Logan would lay awake for hours at night, tears streaming down his face as he imagined the pain Carlos went through. The boy had done absolutely nothing and had almost gotten beat to death by the three people whom he trusted the most.
He remembered getting so angry when Camille accidentally let it slip that Carlos was residing at her apartment. He couldn't even remember why he was so mad, but he remembered arriving outside the apartment and banging on the front door. There was no answer so he practically kicked the door down and stormed into the empty apartment. He had searched all over for the Latino but he was nowhere to be found. It was then that Camille arrived and screamed at Logan for what seemed like hours. She called him a monster and heartless and someone who deserved to die.
And Logan believed her.
He couldn't count how many times he had tried to kill himself in the first year after Carlos left. He had almost swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills, but when he held the pills in his hand, his phone rang with Kendall telling him that they had rehearsal. He threw the pills away and claimed they had spilled down the drained whilst trying to take one the night before, and everyone believed him. He had climbed to the top of Roque Records and the Palm Woods several times but he could never bring himself to jump. He didn't want to land in front of someone and scar them for life. He didn't want to hurt anyone else.
His last attempt was slitting his wrists, but James had caught him in time. James and Kendall had staged an intervention with their younger friend, demanding an answer to their question – why was he trying to kill himself? Logan had debated telling them the truth, but deep down he knew he couldn't. There was a possibility that James would agree with him and share his pain, but Kendall wouldn't. Even if the blonde did regret what they had done, he was too stubborn to admit it. Kendall had changed since Carlos left. He'd turned cold.
Not that Logan could blame him. He knew that Kendall must have noticed it as soon as he did. They had practically tucked their tails between their legs and obeyed Griffin. They all knew his demands were unreasonable and he would eventually back off, but they had given in this time.
Logan couldn't even think of a legitimate reason as to why they went along with it so willingly. Sure, they had thought they hated Carlos but it had been just something Griffin planted into their heads. Logan had realized a little over six months ago that their hatred towards Carlos was psychosomatic.
The thought of Carlos' pain and confusion made Logan's stomach flip. He knew what he had done was unforgivable, but there was hope in his heart that one day Carlos would forgive him.
Not that he would really be seeing his old friend anytime soon. Around the time when Andrew joined the band, James had asked about the whereabouts of the ex-band member and Griffin had explained that as soon as he was free of the band, Carlos had packed up and moved to New York.
"Logan, look at these!"
The raven-haired boy was jolted from his thoughts as Andrew grabbed a hold of his sleeve, dragging him across the slightly large store to look at some extremely overpriced cameras. Pushing his thoughts of Carlos to the back of his head, Logan raised an eyebrow at the young band member. "Don't you think these are a little… expensive?"
"Huh? Oh, I guess so." Andrew murmured absently as he fondled with a camera twice the size of his head. Logan watched as the redhead admired the high definition screen until a rather familiar voice caught his attention.
"Come on, Bradley. Alice is waiting for us at the shop and you know we can't leave her alone with Nate for too long. They'll kill each other!"
It was a soft voice with a slight Hispanic accent and Logan couldn't help but feel his heart skip a beat from the possibility of the one person he longed for the most being just a few feet behind him in the next aisle.
"Alicia will be fine until we get back. I know she's a bit short tempered but the shop will survive." Another voice responded, a rhythmic sound unfamiliar to Logan. He had never heard the voice before and he was starting to doubt that it was really his long lost friend. Carlos resided in New York now. Or that's what Griffin told them, anyway.
"Can you just pick out a cell phone case so we can go." The maybe-Carlos groaned impatiently, followed by a laugh from the other man.
"I just want to find one that isn't black." The unfamiliar voice responded and the sound of cardboard on metal could be heard as something was taken off the rack. Logan could hear the sound of packaging being tossed between hands as if the man was observing whatever he held in his hands.
He heard a dramatic sigh from one of them, Logan guessing and secretly hoping from the maybe-Carlos. "Will you look at that, a nice red phone case. Let's go."
"Hold up, Carlos, I still have to pay for this thing and my new phone."
Logan's heart stopped at the confirmation that it was in fact Carlos. His heart began beating faster than the raven haired boy could even think and he decided that there were seven thousand Carlos' in this country and that the one who stood in the aisle behind him arguing about phone cases was not in fact the Carlos he grew up with.
But who am I kidding. You can't spend your entire life with someone and not know them just by the way they bicker about phone cases.
"I'll be right back." Logan whispered, heart still racing, as he left Andrew's side. The redhead nodded absently as he snapped a picture of himself, giggling like a child as he made a funny face and snapping another picture. He wasn't exactly the best photographer that fact made clear by the intense blurriness of the pictures he was taking.
Logan quietly made his way to the end of the aisle where he peered around the corner just in time to see the familiar form of Carlos and an unknown man walk to the round checkout desk that stood in the center of the store. He couldn't see the unknown man 's face, since both of their backs where facing him, but he knew that he was about James' high and had curly dirty blonde hair that swooped slightly to the side. It wasn't obnoxiously curly, but enough to rest comfortably. The only other thing Logan would make out about him was that he was pale but managed to look tan at the same time, which was sort of a big deal since he was standing next to Carlos, who was very tan.
"Logan!" The raven jumped and turned around as Andrew practically shouted his name. Heart racing again from being nearly startled out of his wits, Logan glared at the redhead who raised the camera lens up and snapped a picture of the older band member. "Say cheese!"
"Andrew, you're supposed to say that beforeyou take the picture." Logan grumbled as he blinked away the spots in his eyes from that damn camera as he turned to look back at Carlos, but was practically knocked to the ground as someone plowed into his chest.
Stumbling backwards, Logan managed to catch his balance as he glanced down at whoever had ran into him. It wasn't until his eyes locked with a pair of large brown ones that he realized just who was standing inches from his face. Carlos.
"C… Carlos?" Logan gasped, eyes wide as Carlos' jaw fell open. The Latino's eyes flew wider than Logan could have ever imagined as he stumbled backwards, fumbling over his words like he always did when he was taken off guard.
"I-I… Lo…"
Carlos snapped his mouth shut and turned away quickly, practically sprinting out of the store as fast as he could, breathing hard and nearly knocking down several people as he left. The door chimed as he threw it open and scurried down the front steps, leaving a bewildered Logan staring after him. In moments, Kendall, James, and, of course, Andrew, were at his side.
"What was that?" Kendall asked, his voice cracking slightly. He had thought he imagined Carlos running past him in panic, but he knew better than to assume his old friend was here. He lived in New York now, nearly three thousand miles away.
"It was Carlos." Logan breathed, the shock only barely wearing off as he realized that he had just seen his childhood best friend and former band mate. He never thought that he would see Carlos again, let alone run into him in an electronics store.
Suddenly, Logan and James were thrown forward as someone roughly pushed through them, knocking them both off their feet. Stumbling to get his balance, Logan looked up to see that it was the man who accompanied Carlos in the store moments before the Latino ran out. He must have seen the interaction between Logan and the Latino, and judging by his actions, he didn't like it one bit.
"Who was that jerk?" Kendall spat, helping James up as they watched the dirt blonde man push through the front doors. Logan said nothing but swallowed thickly as he caught the door before it completely closed. Pushing himself out onto the front steps, which were really just three small steps that lead into the store that sat on top of a hill. The store was on the side of one of the busiest streets in Los Angeles. Kendall and himself had picked it out personally to make sure they were seen by the paparazzi but the press was the last thing on Logan's mind as he searched the celebrity, fan, and pedestrian crowded sidewalk.
He heard Kendall, James, and Andrew behind him, mumbling something about the possibility of seeing Carlos here being impossible. Ignoring Andrew's question about just who this Carlos person was, Logan's gaze locked on the dirty blonde hair he was looking for.
He didn't pursue the man, though. He knew better. Judging by the force the guy had used to knock him and James down, the guy was rather perturbed.
He watched as the blonde walked to the car that was parked on the side of the road and it was then that Logan saw a familiar Latino leaning on the passenger side door. Logan couldn't see much since Carlos' back was turned to him, but when the blonde man unlocked the doors and climbed into the drivers seat, he saw Carlos pull open the door and turn his head to gaze back at the very spot where Logan was standing.
Carlos' cheeks were tear streaked and his lip quivered, eyes glazed as if remembering everything that Logan had ever said and done to hurt him. Feeling his heart crack in half, Logan stepped forward and reached a hand towards the Latino but his breath caught in his throat when Carlos looked away and climbed into the car, slamming the door behind him.
The roar of an engine emitted from the car as they pulled away from where they were parked on the side of the road and Logan watched as the white car disappeared into the traffic.
"Logan!"
The raven-haired boy finally noticed that Kendall was yelling his name and he turned back to look at the blonde who stood with the other two band members at the top of the stairs. "What are you doing?" Kendall asked, holding his hands up in a what-the-fuck manner.
Logan bit his lip as he remembered the look Carlos had given him. By the conversation he had heard from Carlos and the mystery man, he knew that Carlos most certainly didn't live three thousand miles away. He wouldn't talk about some shop like that without indicating that he had been there several times before. Logan had no idea if he worked at whatever shop he had been obsessing over or even owned it, but something deep inside him told him that he needed to find out. Even if he was almost certain that Carlos would never ever forgive him or any of the guys for his actions, he knew that the Latino at least deserved an apology and whatever Logan could give him.
"We need to fix this." Logan muttered, locking eyes with Kendall's green ones. The blonde exchanged a glance with James and they seemed to know exactly what he was talking about.
By the anger and disapproval in Kendall's eyes and the expression James was giving him – was it pity? Logan knew he had a lot of explaining and persuading to do.
Hey guys! I'm trying to make up for taking forever to update these past few weeks - months actually - with more frequent updates! School starts next week but that shouldn't really be a problem unless I get loads of homework which I shouldn't because I'm a dopey little sophomore.
But anyway, I really hope you guys liked this chapter! I know it was kind of sudden to skip ahead three chapters but that's just how this story is gonna go and you're going to have to deal mmkay? Okay that made me feel kinda mean and rude and if you are sad or feel offended or are mad at me i'm soRRY PLEASE DON'T HaTE Me. I updated just for you guys!
Well also because I wanted to write and I like this story and I'm not abandoning it like I have done with every other fic ever. I also want you guys to know that I'll be starting a Jarlos fic maybe near the end of SITD or after but saying this doesn't mean this story is coming to an end just yet! I just wanted to let you guys know so that you have something to look forward to if you feel like dieing while suffering through school this upcoming year.
And If you're not in school... well aren't you something special.
Anyway, toodles! I love you guys and all of your feedback, even if I don't respond to them personally!
- Carnie