Chapter Five
It was several days until Optimus and Rodimus Prime both found the time to hold a brief conference between themselves over their comm lines. They had been limited to communicating with brief, terse e-mails and pager messages. This meeting had a dual purpose -- not only could they have a chance to bring each other up to speed on current events, they could also test out Blaster's new pride and joy. He had been working tirelessly for over a month on a new communications grid with enhanced security for top-secret communications. If it proved to be a success, it would be used to forge a comm-net between high-ranking Alliance members. It was the first time that anything of the sort had been attempted. The Private Channel, or P-chan as it had been affectionately dubbed, would allow Autobot and Decepticon to contact each other in a secure medium to communicate matters of the utmost urgency that concerned the welfare of both factions.
Rodimus sighed inaudibly as he adjusted the volume on his communicator. He was hoping that this P-chan could be expanded to cover video conferencing as well. He much preferred talking to people face-to-face. Whether friend or foe, it helped immeasurably to see who he was communicating with. He had learned to gather an awful lot of information just from a being's mannerisms. And where Optimus was concerned, the slightest tilt of the head or gesture of the hand spoke volumes. The elder Autobot leader had unfortunately become all too adept at crafting his persona of unflappable calm. Rodimus sometimes wished he could have that sort of control, but he had seen what years of emotional repression had done to his friend. It simply wasn't worth the price. Besides, that wasn't who he was. He couldn't censor himself if he tried. And that, surprisingly enough, according to Optimus himself, was one of his best qualities.
"So how has the restoration been going?" the bass voice rumbled through the channel, businesslike but never brusque.
This time Roddy sighed aloud. "We've got the bulk of the damage repaired. All that's left is some cosmetic touch-ups. The major hassle is the security upgrade. Kup's been on our backs to modify or completely replace pretty much everything we've got. I'm ready to rip apart my housing, it's so frustrating!"
There was an answering chuckle from the other end of the link. The sound brought a tinge of a smile to Roddy's faceplate. It was nice to hear Optimus express some form of amusement. "Same here," the red and white Autobot replied. "He's been shuttling back and forth between Iacon and Metroplex, getting the entire security and maintenance forces in a lather. If the situation weren't so serious, I'd tell him to turn it down a notch or two, but I haven't had a chance to even talk to him since the attack on Metroplex."
"Yeah, maybe he could stand to lighten up a bit…" Rodimus muttered. He just couldn't bring himself to tell Optimus about Kup's theory. This was his friend's dream, to finally unite their warring race under the banner of peace. He had put his whole spark into holding the often tenuous Alliance together. It would break his heart to see his vision fall to pieces. Fate had already dealt him too many cruel hands.
Deciding to change the subject, he asked gently, "How are things with you? Are you recharging all right?"
There was a brief silence on the other end. It was this uncomfortable moment that discouraged most others from prying. But Rodimus knew that there was little to hide between them. Optimus Prime just needed a moment to adjust to the sudden personal nature of their conversation. "No," he finally sighed. Roddy had of course already known that, but it was good to have Optimus confirm it. "Every time I power down my optics, I have the most horrible visions. And the nightmares are worse. I'm not ready to discuss that part just yet… but I just wish I could have a peaceful night's rest."
Rodimus frowned, grateful that Optimus couldn't see his expression. "Well… I've managed to get my hands on something that would help. I've heard that Somnulent has worked wonders for those experiencing insomnia." Oh boy, he was definitely glad he couldn't see the look on Prime's face.
"Somnulent?! Rodimus, have you gone completely out of your processor? Good Primus, the side effects—"
"—can be avoided if taken only occasionally. Yes, I've looked into it. Believe me, I'm not happy with the concept either, but I can't really think of any other resolution at the moment." Privately, he thought that a psychiatrist or mental health counselor would go a long way, but not only would Optimus avoid it like the plague, the situation could very well end up splashed across the intergalactic papers. The elder Prime needed to appear at his best. Once again, Optimus was being asked to make sacrifices for his people, and Rodimus hated it. If it wasn't for the stupid Circle, he could let Optimus have some time off. But as things stood, they were much vulnerable now than they had been during the civil war itself.
"And just where did you get such a controlled substance?" Optimus' voice was soft but Rodimus heard the implied threat just the same.
"Don't worry, Op, I didn't just walk up to Ratchet or First Aid and ask for it. I also didn't order it from some fly-by-night provider either. I got it from a reputable source and am confident of its purity and potency. You know I wouldn't give you anything dangerous. Please, just think about it, okay? You can't keep going on like this."
A heavy sigh. "I'll think about it. That's all I can say."
Rodimus smirked. The battle was as good as won. "That's all I'm asking for."
That night, Optimus sat on the recharging berth, the unassuming brown package in his hands. He forced down his trepidation and opened it. Inside was an equally unassuming container containing innocent-looking little green caplets. He read through the instructions thoroughly, very much ill-at-ease over the whole situation. Side effects included headache, irritability, difficulty awakening, and addiction with long-term use. Just wonderful. He had become dependant on anamorphine a few years ago when he had been dying from the cosmic rust plague, and curing himself cold-turkey had been murder. If there was any other way… but that was the problem, there wasn't. Not that he could think of. He needed to get some rest somehow or he really would go out of his mind. He would give it a try. All he needed was a decent night or two of rest and he would be back in form.
He lifted the green capsule and prepared to insert it into an Energon cube to dissolve. He had been concentrating so intently that he didn't hear the door slide open. "Optimus, you won't believe the day I've had! It's been a total madhouse, and Kup…." Her voice trailed off as she entered the recharging area. "What is that?"
Prime jumped guiltily and tried to grab the bottle from the dresser, but she was too quick for him. "Somnulent!" she exclaimed in outraged horror. "What are you doing with this? Don't you know how dangerous this stuff is? One of my friends OD'd on this stuff back when we were just recruits." She snatched the packaging from the floor as well. "This didn't come from Medbay either! What on Cybertron is going on here?"
Prime sighed heavily. He hated to see her upset, but a small, selfish part of him wondered why he had to appease her. Didn't he have enough on his mind? "Ani, please calm down. I'm perfectly aware of the drug's reputation. No, they didn't come from Medbay, but I'm certain that Rodimus got them from a reliable source—"
"Rodimus!" she shrieked, becoming even more enraged. "You've got Rodimus getting controlled medication for you? I don't understand it. I know you're under immense pressure, Optimus, but this isn't the way to go. Look, I know a great mechano-therapist on Thera Five. He's very discreet and has a lot of experience—"
"Absolutely not!" Optimus thundered, standing up to loom over her. "Andromeda, I appreciate what you are trying to do, but in the end it's my decision." Despite his own misgivings about the drug, her arguments made him feel all the more stubborn. "All I need is a good night's recharge and I'll be back to normal."
She gave a hysterical laugh. "Do you really believe that, Optimus? Because I sure as hell don't. You haven't been what most would call normal for quite some time. These pills will help you get rest, but at what price? You'll take them once or twice and feel great, and then what next? You won't be able to function without them. You'll need more to get the same effect, and who knows what will happen next? You've got to address the root of the problem. You can't recharge because you're upset about something. Something so awful that you won't discuss it with anyone. You've got to get your worries out in the open, or pill or not, they will consume you!" She hiccupped and wiped away an errant tear. "I thought you valued my opinion, but I guess I was wrong. I guess I was also wrong about us as well. You've barely spoken to me in months. If you don't want to bond, fine, just say so. But at least be honest about it."
"Look, I've got more important things on my mind than bonding rituals! I'm trying to hold this Alliance together, and it could fall apart any day now. I thought you understood that." Prime could see from the look on her face that that was the exact wrong thing to say, and a part of him was kicking him for being so insensitive, but right now he didn't really care. He had so many things to worry about, and right now his personal relationship ranked rather low on the list.
She bit her lip. "I'm going to stay with a friend tonight. I just can't be around you right now." She dashed out the door, and Optimus fought down the urge to call after her. Better let her cool off.
He flopped back onto the recharge berth, flinging an arm over his face. Just when he thought that things couldn't get any worse. Okay, he knew that she had a valid point. The drug was dangerous. He also supposed that he hadn't been paying much attention to her either. But he was the Autobot leader, and his first responsibility was to his troops. He had do whatever was necessary to keep them safe.
He had lain in the dark for what seemed like hours when the comm. line beeped. He dragged himself out of the recharging berth. "Yes?" he said a bit tersely.
"Op, it's Roddy. We've got a bit of a situation here." So what else was new? "Megatron was scheduled to meet with the Zabini chief to discuss an arms purchase, but he's gone in for a maintenance checkup. He was supposed to be done ages ago, but apparently he had more damage than Soundwave thought, and he won't be released anytime soon. I'd gladly send Magnus or Kup, but the Zabinis insist on only dealing with the top brass. I figured I'd go in his place, but I wanted to keep you updated on the situation."
"No, Roddy, I'll go. I need to get out for awhile anyway. Just upload all the pertinent information to my hand-held, and I'll get going right away."
A pause. "Sure, Op, if you're certain. The shuttle's waiting in Bay Three. Have a good trip."
Optimus grabbed his hand-held unit, threw a few supplies into a container, and dashed out the door. He still knew that he needed rest, but at least this mission would distract him from his worries, especially his fight with Andromeda. He would have to make things up to her on his return (he had been rather harsh with her), but he too needed time to cool off.
The maintenance tech on duty saluted him, looking a bit surprised at his appearance, as he jogged into the shuttle bay and boarded the ship. It looked like it had already been inspected, and the engines were warmed up and ready to go. The bay doors slid open and he guided the shuttle into the depths of space.
He felt himself beginning to relax a bit as his journey progressed. He was by himself, with no other pressing duties or demands, save for his upcoming meeting with the Zabini chief, MgGurk, which was really just for show. The deal was as good as done. Perhaps all he really needed was a few days away from Cybertron. He knew his problems would be waiting for him when he returned, but he could forget about them for a few days. He wasn't quite ready to wave a white flag to Andromeda yet, but maybe he'd find something nice to give her anyway.
He was so wrapped up in his peaceful thoughts that he was oblivious when the bomb detonated. There was a brilliant flash of orange and white light as the shuttle was shattered into oblivion.