Standing in the Dark - Chapter Sixteen
The apartment was quiet, not necessarily silent as most apartments are described at such a late hour, but quiet all the same. The only noises were the constant creak of the living room ceiling fan as it circulated the cold air and the water heater shutting off as someone in the bathroom turned off the water in the shower.
Bradley stood in the center of the small bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist as he stared at himself in the foggy mirror. His hair, normally a dirty blonde color, was turned a dark brown from the water. His warm brown eyes looked tired as he continued to look at his reflection.
As the fog clouding the glass began to fade, a clearer version of himself appeared in the mirror. His eyes draped over his body and he let out a barely audible sigh. Fading bruises littered his torso, accompanied by a few fresh ones that took up mostly his arms and neck area. He felt a lump in his throat begin to form as he saw the bruises that were shaped exactly like hands around his throat and arms. They didn't hurt much – not as much as the memories that plagued his mind every time he looked in the mirror like this.
Bringing a hand to the bruised skin above his shoulder, he winced when the pads of his fingers brushed a rather nasty looking bruise. The memory of how he got the bruise was still fresh in his mind, and he closed his eyes and welcomed the memory.
He was standing in the kitchen of the small apartment, humming to himself in tune with the song playing on the radio on the counter. At that moment, Bradley couldn't remember which song was playing, but he wished he could. Maybe a happy memory before such a horrible one would make this easier. But he didn't have much luck as the memory continued.
There he was, heating up a pan full of chopped tomatoes and sprinkles of herbs that he had found in the cabinet – preparing dinner for himself and his best friend Carlos – when the Latino walked into the apartment.
Bradley knew something was wrong as the door slammed and Carlos staggered into the kitchen, looking as though he had way too much to drink. He looked this way every other night it seemed. Drunk and staggering and about to pass out.
"Hey Carlitos." Bradley murmured, turning the radio down so the noise wouldn't induce a headache for his drunken friend. He knew from experience how Carlos acted when he was drunk with a headache. It wasn't exactly pretty.
"Hola, Brad." Carlos said slowly, padding towards the blonde and wrapping his arms around him.
Bradley smiled, hoping that this was one of Carlos' happy drunk days, and allowed the man to hang on him. "Careful, man, I don't want to burn you."
Carlos chuckled and stepped back, reaching at the half empty bottle of Jack on the counter. Bradley glanced at the bottle and cursed himself for not hiding it before Carlos got home. The Latino seemed to notice the disapproving look on Bradley's face, and frowned as he took a swig.
"What, you wanted some for yourself?"
"No thanks, Carlos. You know I don't drink."
Bradley immediately regretted his words when Carlos obtained a furious look. "Oh so you think you're better than me because you don't drink?"
"Oh, look at me, I'm Bradley. I'm perfect because I don't drink and I'm not a fuck-up like his best friend Carlos." The shorter man mocked, glaring at Bradley as he spoke.
"Carlos, you know that's not true. You're not a fuck-up and I don't think that I'm better than you because I don't drink."
"But you don't deny that you think you're better than me."
"Car-"
Bradley was cut off as Carlos grabbed him roughly by the arm and yanked him away from the pan on the stove. The blonde hissed in pain as Carlos' grip tightened, but the Latino didn't seem to care. "You think you're so cute, don't you Brad? You're just a worthless piece of shit."
Taken back by his friend's words, Bradley gave him a shocked look. He hadn't done anything to provoke Carlos - at least not enough for him to call him names and physically hurt him. It shouldn't have surprised him though; Carlos didn't need much provoking nowadays to hurt someone. And that someone was always Bradley.
"Answer me!" Carlos bellowed, shaving Bradley's arm and releasing the taller man's wrist. Before Bradley had a chance to move away from the enraged man, Carlos grabbed him by the shoulders and shoved him up against the wall. The impact caused Bradley to yelp as his head whipped back and collided with the plaster. Carlos bared his teeth and spoke again, his voice dripping with spite and fury, "I said answer me, asshole."
"I d-don't, Carlos. You're my best friend." Bradley stuttered, afraid if he said the wrong thing that Carlos would hurt him more. Carlos didn't usually stay this mad long, and if he could hold him off long enough, he could escape without more than a few bruises on his arms.
"Oh, really? The last time someone called me their best friend, they beat the shit out of me. Are you going to beat the shit out of me, Bradley?" It was more of an accusation than a question.
"N-No, I would nev-"
Suddenly, Bradley felt a pair of strong hands wrap around his neck. The grip was enough to hurt him and leave marks, but not enough to completely cut off his air supply.
"How can I trust you? I can I trust that you won't hurt me?" Even though Carlos' words were slurred and full of rage, Bradley could hear the plea from the boy he found three years ago, beaten and broken.
"Car-Carlos, you can… trust me. I-I pro…promise." The words were hard to say, given that Carlos had his thumb digging into the man's throat.
They locked eyes for a moment, the two of them staring, unblinking at each other. Bradley's eyes were begging for Carlos to let go, to trust him and not hurt him any more. The fury melted from Carlos' expression and was replaced with regret and fear. He immediately let go of the blonde and stared at his hands in shock.
"Brad… wha-what… oh god."
"Carlos, it's fi-"
"No it's not! Oh my god, I hurt you." Carlos' voice cracked as he looked back up at his best friend. He could see the bruises beginning to form on his neck and arms and tears brimmed his eyes. "I'm so sorry… I-I didn't mean to. Oh god."
Bradley suddenly wrapped his arms around the Latino and hugged him tightly. He knew he shouldn't be allowing Carlos to get away with hurting him – especially when this wasn't the first time he had hurt Bradley – but his heart shattered when he heard the pain in his friend's voice. He knew Carlos didn't mean it when he hurt him. Carlos was just afraid. Afraid that Bradley would hurt him just as much as Kendall, James, and Logan had.
Afraid. He's just afraid. I don't blame him for hurting me.
Bradley tried to convince himself that Carlos wasn't in the wrong. He was just trying to protect himself. Drinking made Carlos happier inside, even if he turned into a monster on the outside. All the blonde wanted was for Carlos to be happy.
Brushing his teeth and changing into an old gray t-shirt and a pair of black underwear, Brad left the bathroom and walked into the small bedroom. The bed he shared with Carlos was unmade – neither of the boys cared enough to ever straighten it out – and he crawled under the covers and rested his head on the pillow.
It was strange, sharing a bed with Carlos even though they weren't a couple. They lived together and acted like a couple – well, when Carlos wasn't drunk or out partying and sleeping around – and slept in the same bed. It was mainly because it was just a one bedroom apartment and Bradley wouldn't allow Carlos to live on his own, even after the panic attacks had stopped and Carlos no longer needed someone to comfort him after having nightmares ever night.
Bradley sighed and closed his eyes, hoping to find sleep quickly so he wouldn't have to deal with Carlos when he got home.
The hopes were short lived as the blonde heard the front door open and close with a slam similar to the one on the night that Carlos had choked him. Bradley's entire body tensed up as he heard footsteps approaching the bedroom and the door opening slowly.
"Brad?"
The blonde didn't respond and pretended to be asleep, hoping Carlos would leave him alone.
It seemed like the world was on his side for once as Carlos sighed and climbed into the bed on the other side. Even though their backs were facing each other, Bradley could smell the acrid stench of liquor coming from the Latino.
Turning over onto his stomach, Bradley dug his face into his pillow, hoping to banish the smell from his nose. He felt the sheets move as Carlos rolled over to face him and the smell was stronger. An arm draped over his back and Carlos' warm body was suddenly pressed against his.
In that moment, all of the bad memories seemed to melt away. The stench of beer was gone and the images of Carlos hurting him were gone. His best friend – who he was genuinely in love with – was safe here with him. Their bodies were close together and Carlos' warm breath on his ear slowly becoming a pattern as he fell asleep.
I'm going to help you, Carlos. Bradley thought to himself as sleep began to overtake him, I helped you beat depression and I'll help you beat addiction. We'll get through this. I'm never going to let anything hurt you again.
Oh how wrong he was.
Oh man, something bad is gonna happen soon. Can you guys guess what it is?
It only took me three weeks to update again! I'm slowly getting back on track of writing more often. I've missed it a lot. I'm not going to make any promises, but I have a surgery coming up in a few weeks and I won't be able to do anything for two whole weeks that requires raising my heart rate, so I'll probably be spending all of that time writing.
I am very sad to say that Standing in the Dark will soon be coming to a close. I know it wasn't a very long story but there isn't much more of the story to tell after the upcoming dramatic and unexpected turn that is going to take place hint hint.
I would really appreciate if you guys would leave me reviews with your thoughts. I'm starting to review stories that I read on here and leave as much helpful and encouraging feedback that I can for all of the other writers on here! I'll try to respond to your reviews, maybe even a few from past chapters, and I'm especially grateful for everyone who reads this story and reviews every chapter. You guys really inspire me to continue writing - even if it takes me so long to update.
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though it was so short. ~Carnie