AN: As always, I don't own any part of Doctor Who in any way, shape, or form. I apologize for the shortness of these chapters, it's really hard for me to write a lot. When I get to certain prompts that I have a lot of ideas for, believe me, the chapters will get longer! This story will probably end up being really lengthy and really fluffy, once Rose gets a bit better about his duplicate, er John. This chapter is from actual Ten's point of view after leaving Donna at her house.
Chapter 2- Colorless
The TARDIS doors closed, and the Doctor sank to the ground by the console. His head was buried in his hands and he cried.
He cried for Rose and he cried for Donna. He cried for Mickey and Martha getting to be so domestic, and he was stuck here. Condemned to a lonely existence, because that's all a Time Lord ever got. Oh, he had companions, yes. But they all left him in the end. He was forced to watch all of time pass him by until his last regeneration was up, and who knew how long that would be? He was 900 years old, after all. The worst of it all was to have to leave Rose all over again, and to watch someone else kiss his Rose. Granted, that metacrisis was a part of him in a way, but not completely all of him, and so it felt like a betrayal. He just wanted to go back and capture that lovely mouth in his. He had tasted it, once. Only for a few moments, and it felt like a fading dream. Right before he had regenerated, his previous form had had to kiss Rose to keep her alive. Oh, those moments were precious. It was over too soon.
He thought he would be better on him if he didn't touch her when he saw her this last time, but it made it worse, so much worse. He regretted not feeling their hands touch, not smelling the scent that was so uniquely Rose, not feeling the warmth of her hugs. He had kept his distance and it hurt even more this time to say goodbye.
The only times in his existence that he had been truly happy was with her, how could he let her go so easily? Why must time always be his enemy? Rose filled his life with color, and without her, his adventures had been colorless. He had no meaning without her.
"Doctor, you need to continue on, for her. She would want you to keep saving lives. Do it in her name, in her honor. I know that is what she would want above all else. And try your very hardest to be happy," the TARDIS said in his mind.
"But how?" he screamed. "How can I save lives when I don't think anyone deserves it anymore?"
"Because, Doctor, you know it would make Rose proud. I know you care what she would think of you. And you will continue to be a better man, for her."
The Doctor drew in a few more shaky breaths and ran his hands through his hair. He picked himself of the floor and stood at the console, because the TARDIS was right. There was only thing to do, and that was the exact thing he had told Rose on their first meeting: Run.
He flipped the switches and continued on his journey through time and space.
If you can hear me, Rose, I hope you get to be happy. You deserve it. You do not deserve me.