Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters, however much I'd like to own Edward…mm mmm. Unfortunately all these characters belong to Stephanie Meyer not me.
Genre: Angst/Romance. I'll try and tone down the angst but we'll see how it pans out...
Rating: M for reasons that the later chapters will unfold.
I went to school on Friday morning but ditched out at lunchtime, feigning sickness. I had double Chemistry which I was happy to miss due to my lack of knowledge on the subject (pun intended) and P.E which was another subject I wanted nothing to do with. I had recently been made to run around the track as my 'sport' at the same time as the boys played Football on the field. Usually this was a great time to carry on with my Edward staring activities, but this was one time when I wanted to stay as far away from that field as possible.
There is no doubt that I had spent the rest of my time after yesterday's events, thinking about Edward and everything that had gone on. After I picked myself up from the floor, I couldn't get his words out of my head, "I'm your trigger. Only me." God, he had made it impossible to think of anything else.
He had touched me and didn't seem to mind being close to me, in fact he seemed to enjoy it. But while I revelled in this, his other words kept popping into my head: "I said your dress was pretty, not you", "You're silent, indifferent and reclusive", "This is very interesting…so scientific". It was all so confusing. I tried to break it down but I still couldn't get my head around it.
But hey, I could answer back to him. Albeit very wimpish, but it was a start. And we could touch. My god could we touch. But was he right? Was it really just him that I could do all this with? It seems so wrong. Of all the people I've had in my life, it doesn't make sense that such a merciless and cruel man would be the one person I could act vaguely normal with. Well, normal for me anyway. He clearly didn't like me and he obviously sees me as inferior in social standing and probably everything else. Yet he was the one who triggered normal reactions. This was mad!
And if I am so repulsive to him, why on earth would he want to touch me like he had yesterday? It was so intimate and agonisingly slow. Every movement had sent shivers up my spine and when he pulled me towards him, all rational thinking just went flying out of my brain. This boy was going to be my downfall and I knew it.
Yeah, more time off was a good choice. Thankfully I had no morning classes with Edward, which was part of the reason why I managed to drag myself to school. I also got away without seeing him in the in the car park or the hallway and I succeeded in dodging the unpleasant cheerleader. Who, I now learnt to be called Tanya. From my hiding spot, I heard her 2 followers doting after her and praising her for her exceptional taste in handbags. I swear Edward had mentioned her name before in one of our conversations but I couldn't recall anything else.
I succeeded in reaching my car at lunchtime without any issue until I heard a gentle cough behind me. I turned to see Angela shifting her weight from foot to foot as she looked at me with warm but apprehensive eyes.
"Err, hi! I'm sorry to randomly catch you like this, it's just you seemed a little distracted in Spanish today and you forgot to pick up your homework assignment for the weekend." She held out a piece of paper and I politely took it with a small smile. She smiled back and continued to hover as I folded the work into my bag.
"I was going to slot it into your locker but I didn't know where it was. So I went to the office and the receptionist said you'd just that minute signed out to go home. I raced out here in the hope of catching you…and I did. So err, great!" Angela rambled. I was once again taken aback at just how comforting her whole demeanour was and how she never pried, even though I was clearly not making this easy for her.
She hesitated for another second then gave a quick wave, "Well I hope you feel better soon, see you on Monday." She turned to leave.
"Thank you." I stuttered. Angela turned her head back with obvious surprise in her eyes but then they returned to their usual warmth as she nodded her head and strode off.
Maybe Edward was wrong. Maybe I can be somewhat normal with other people. Although, I won't be trying the touching thing with strangers anytime soon.
It was Monday all too quickly. My weekend of distracting myself with homework flew by. Through all the thoughts dotting around my head, I somehow managed to get everything done. I even got a start at writing up my hypothesis for the science project and selected the methodology. I wasn't doing it to impress Edward. I was doing it for educational purposes. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.
I knew I would have to face Edward today. We had English together just before lunch. Fortunately we were not forced to sit together for that subject so I was sure I could happily avoid any confrontation or jokes on my behalf. This didn't stop the nerves from attacking me all morning however.
I was a wreck as I gingerly walked into the classroom for English later that morning. I noticed that Edward wasn't there yet so I quickly set up at the back by the window away from obvious view. It appeared that I had nothing to worry about, when Edward sauntered into the classroom, he didn't take one look at me. He walked straight to a free desk next to a couple of his football mates, greeted them with a fist bump and sat down facing the front.
I don't know why this was a surprise for me. It's not like he would want to search for me or have any desire to speak to me in public. He didn't even properly talk to me as a person when we were alone. I felt silly for getting so riled up about nothing.
English went fairly slowly as we were made to watch Romeo and Juliet the whole time. I was not a movie fan. It was all so fake and commercialised. I hated the fact that in most of these teen flicks, the central character was this super pretty loner girl who couldn't get a date. Yeah right. Of course I couldn't get mad at Romeo and Juliet, it was Shakespeare. But I was mad at our English teacher, Miss Rose, for dossing out of a lesson because she couldn't be bothered to teach us. In fact I spent most the lesson scowling.
When the bell rang signalling lunchtime I slowly packed up my stuff. As usual, I hated being amongst the bustle of the crowd in the hallway. Miss Rose ducked out faster than the students and I soon saw her reappear outside running towards a car. I watched as a man dressed in uniform jumped out and ran to greet her. They embraced each other as he swung her around. I put two and two together from the rumours I'd heard and realised that this was Miss Rose's soldier fiancé who had been away fighting in Afghanistan. I looked at the two staring lovingly at each other and chatting non-stop. Pangs of jealousy radiated through me as the thought that I may never be able to have that hit me like a tonne of bricks. It wasn't until I felt someone behind me that I was drawn out of my trance.
"Playing stalker again, are we Bella? How creepy." The voice whispered darkly. I hadn't turned around but I didn't need to. It was probably best to save my embarrassment anyway. I heard no other noise so I assumed everyone else had gone. Of course they had, he wouldn't be talking to me if there were people there.
Once more I felt his fingers on my wrist. It seemed to be his favourite spot and man did I love it. Though my breath hitched and my heart stammered it seemed easier than before, maybe because I wasn't facing him. As his hand moved up my arm, my shoulders slumped in a somewhat defeatist way.
"Hmm, nothing's changed over the weekend then I see. Goodie." I heard the smirk in his voice. "So tell me Bella. How is it that you can stand to stare so sweetly at our teacher and her fiancé as they intimately embrace, yet you scowl during the whole of Romeo and Juliet?" As he posed the question his hand was on the back of my neck. His cool fingertips were slowly brushing the air away leaving my neck exposed.
I had no idea how to answer but before I could, my brain did its usual start without thinking action.
"You were looking at me." I mumbled. I wasn't answering the question, I was verifying something. The only way he could have known that I was scowling during the film, was if he had been looking at me. I knew this had caught him off guard as he stiffened and stopped stroking my neck.
All of a sudden I was whisked around and shoved back against the wall by the window. I finally got to look at him, but I wish I hadn't. He had an angry look in his eyes and his fingers gripped my shoulders with force. His mouth then turned up into the normal smirk that I knew so well.
"Looking at you? Yes Bella, I looked. Does that excite you? Does that make you quiver at the knees? Are you going to go home and write it in your little diary?" He was taunting me. I wished I hadn't said anything and I looked down in shame. Truthfully, that did excite me. No one has ever really taken the time to look at me, not even my mother. But I knew I was playing into whatever game he was playing, so I continued to look down.
I heard him snigger and I felt him pull away from me. When I looked up he was already at the door, bag in hand. He very quickly stopped and looked back as if he had forgotten something, "Oh Bella…" he said, keeping me hanging on. A smile played across his face, "I'm looking forward to tomorrow." And with that he disappeared.
I could tell that he knew what power he had over me. I mean, he was the one that stated that very plainly yesterday. That smile plastered over his face wasn't signifying a happy, new friend glow. No, that was a proud, victorious smile. I know that every popular kid loves the fact that they can dominate over 'lesser mortals'. But they liked to do it in public for the full humiliation action. Edward was keeping this little game of his to himself. He had clearly been looking at me during English, which bemused me because there was no way he cared about me. Ah man, I was not looking forward to tomorrow.
I kept going over things in my head and by the time I shook away all the complicated thoughts, I'd missed lunch. I must have been standing there for over an hour…what a dork.
Another afternoon passed, another evening, another morning. Before I knew it, it was the end of school on Tuesday. Obviously when you dread something, it comes around quicker than you want. Great.
I was walking to my car, keeping my out for the very obvious silver car that held the bane of my life. Of course when I did see him my heart did an involuntary jump and I scolded its behaviour immediately. It clearly didn't listen because it jumped again when I realised my car was parked right next to his.
He was leaning on the door of his car, chatting to that overtly large boy…Emmett I think his name was. But all I could really focus on was him. He was stunning. It wasn't sunny (it was never sunny in Forks), but there always seemed to be some light shining on him, highlighting the bronze in his hair and effectively dazzling everyone else around him.
I was so fixated on him as I walked round my truck, that I suddenly slipped over my own shoelace. I went down, straight down. And if I thought my fall couldn't get any better, I smacked my head on the back wheel of my truck.
The impact to my knees and arms were nothing compared to the pain I now felt pulsing in my head. I struggled to maintain consciousness as the pain got to be too much. I heard a scuffling of feet and vaguely caught sight of a shadow looming over me but I turned my head down to the ground to block out the light that seemed to burn through my brain. I heard a voice asking if I was alright but that stirred something else in me. The familiar flicker of panic rose in my chest at the thought of someone getting too close but I couldn't move or speak to resist.
"Don't, Emmett. She'll flip out if you touch her." I heard a voice say fiercely. Edward. Thank god he said something. Was he going to help? God, this is excruciating!
"We can't just leave her here, she's not responding to me. She may have really hurt her head." Emmett said sternly. There was empathy in his voice, something I did not expect. I groaned as I started to get dizzy. Fortunately the initial pain was starting to wear off.
"She's not responding because she can't. Remember? She's an anti-touching, anti-speaking freak. Don't waste your time, she's fine." Edward growled.
His words cut through me, worse than the pain in my head. I groaned again and managed to plant my hands in front of my face. I raised myself up as fair as I could go but my shaky arms refused to push me up fully. As I peered through my hair I saw Emmett kneeling down close by, concern in his eyes but with an obvious hesitance over what to do next. I looked up above him at the callous figure lingering by his car. I looked in time to see something flash across Edward's face that I could not make out. Whatever it was, was gone in a second. A look of distain covered his features which made me want to be sick. I refrained from that extra embarrassment.
To save either of these boys from doing something they clearly didn't want to do and something I definitely didn't want them to do, I finally pushed myself up to my feet, supporting myself on my truck.
"Are you okay? You don't look so good." Emmett questioned. I scoffed at his ridiculous comment, but quickly turned it into a cough before he noticed.
I simply nodded and opened my truck door, using the last of my energy to throw my bag inside. I held my hand up to my head as a shooting pain shot through me. I was definitely not alright, but I'd banged my head enough times to realise that if I could still walk it can't be that serious.
The embarrassment of the afternoon was too much. I was sick to my stomach picturing myself sprawled on the floor while Edward looked on in disgust. I needed to get away as soon as possible, I'd had enough. But as I moved to heave myself into my truck, a hand started to push the door closed.
"Oh no you don't, you've just had a pretty big bang to your head and from what I can see you can barely stand. Driving is not an option, I'll take you home." Emmett said softly. For a very large man, his words were very gentle. But of course I shook my head in response.
"Dude, what are you doing? Just leave her to it." Edward said, clearly unhappy with the suggestion.
"Leave her to crash her car into a tree or worse into someone else? Yeah right. It's no big deal, just tell Rose that I'll meet her at the café as soon as I can. The Chief's house is like 2 roads away from the café, I can walk it." I didn't really know what was going on. Emmett was being nice, Edward was being a douche and my head was spinning. I tried to shake my head again but my knee suddenly buckled beneath me and I had to catch myself on the door frame. Emmett chuckled, "Yeah, that settles it. Give me your keys."
With that, he grabbed them from my hand and pointed to the passenger side. At least he understood about the touching thing. And he seemed to know where I lived (helps having a well-known Dad) so I didn't have to say a word.
I followed his orders and walked round the side. Just as I settled in, I head a screeching girl's voice nearby.
"Errr Eddie! Where on earth is Emmett going with that freak?" As I glanced through the back window, I noted the cheerleader uniform and blond hair that was now firmly attached to Edward's side. Oh yeah, this was just what I needed right now.
"Tanya, please don't shout when you're standing right next to me." Edward commented moodily. "Emmett is doing his bit for charity and helping the less fortunate."
"Shut it. Tell Rose I'll be with her as soon as I can. Don't be a dick about it." Emmett slammed the door shut and turned on the engine.
Just as we were pulling out I heard Tanya screech again, "Yuck! He's going to need to take a long shower after being in that piece of junk with that waste of space. Eddie baby, if you ever pulled a stunt like that I don't think I could forgive you. No matter how homeless they look." And with a giggle she traced her hand over his chest and gave him a slow kiss on the cheek.
I wretched my eyes away from the sight and stared forward as Emmett drove us out of the car park.
Though he talked non-stop on the way home, I didn't try to interact with Emmett. Not that I ever did. I was just so exhausted, physically and emotionally. My head was killing me and my heart was wrenching like no other. Words and images floated around my head and made me dizzy.
As we drove up into my drive I suddenly felt bad. Emmett had given up his time and energy to help me even though I was reluctant and extremely rude. It wasn't his fault that Edward was such a douche and that I was clearly mentally disturbed. He jumped out of the car and hopped round to my side to open the passenger door…still being the gentleman.
I slumped out and stood in front of him. I couldn't shake his hand or give him a hug but I forced the words out. "Thank you for your help, Emmett." They weren't that hard to say because I truly meant them. His face lit up with a smile and he shrugged his shoulders, walking slowly backwards.
"No problem, just call me the hero!" He laughed and turned around to walk off. He was my kind of guy: kept things short and sweet and didn't linger.
When I got inside I got an icepack out of the freezer, the same bag of peas I always used for my many bumps and bruises. Lying down on the sofa I couldn't help but rehash this afternoon's events.
Edward truly hated me. So much so that he couldn't even bring himself to pity me. It was like he was disgusted at himself for having anything to do with me. And he was clearly with Tanya! How could he have been so intimate with me when that was going on? Perhaps I was the only one that saw it as intimate. But it was such a big step for me I couldn't help but feel sad that it could now be over. I assumed that whatever this thing was that we had, or whatever game it was that he liked to play with me, was now going to stop. He wouldn't be coming round this afternoon to work on our project and I doubt he would want to ever again after seeing my state today.
I'd had enough. It had been exciting to feel slightly normal to be able to interact with someone socially. But let's face it, I was still incredibly messed up and being around Edward and his weird psychological games was only going to make things worse.
I'd have to find a way to steer clear.
A/N: Right guys, hope you enjoyed that one. I was quick this time so you can't shout at me! I am currently on holiday at the moment but it finishes soon so this fast writing will probably end. But I will try to get my writing brain in gear and get another chapter up as soon as I can. Please review though...tell me if you think I'm going about this the wrong way or if you have a query about anything, I am a rookie so feedback is good :)