Chapter Eighteen : Stop Worrying
Grace looked out the back passengers window as she gazed up at the dark clouds in the sky. The weather had been gloomy all morning as though the city of Chicago was aware of what horrible things were coming its way. The weather was starting to get worst and now the wind had picked up. It had begun to sprinkle making the windows of the impala a little hazy.
She lurched forward her seat-belt locking down as the impala came to a sudden stop. Dean huffed putting the car into park and removing the car keys from the ignition as he spoke. "I need to call Sam and check in on things on their end."
And with that Dean exited the car slamming the door behind him. Grace felt her stomach knot dreading this moment. Being left alone with Crowley having to discuss what had happened earlier.
Her mood was still a little dark after the morning they'd had and she wasn't sure how to feel. Even though Crowley had a reason for acting the way he had she was still a little perturbed that she had once again been left in the dark on his plans.
She knew that she loved him, there was no denying that fact. She was just unsure of how she felt about the things he did. The old her would've been disgusted and horrified by the things he was willing to do, but who she had been was long gone, literally dead. And she was left feeling torn between wanting to love him and wanting to be horrified by his actions.
Part of her understood why he had to do the things he did. This was about survival not just Crowley's survival but hers as well.
Crowley sighed glancing at her. He feared that his behavior this morning had ruined things between them. Even if he had only said those things to buy them some time it still hadn't been right how he'd left her out of his plan and he knew it. She had looked at him with such disgust when she'd heard him say that they were just going to let Death walk free.
He had been looked at that way so many times before though out the decades, but it had never effected him. Not until Grace had been the one to do it.
Crowley kept his eyes locked on her knowing that he had to get this all off his chest as he spoke "I know that you aren't always going to like he things that I do, the decisions I make. I've done...horrible things darling. Things that would give you nightmares. It's who I am though Gracie. It's what I am. I know you may not like who I am sometimes. I just hope that I don't lose you because of it."
He paused for a moment trying to gauge her reactions part of him was afraid that he'd lost her that she would tell him just to back off. That she had finally had enough.
He continued speaking as he realized that she was still listening to him though she wasn't looking at him. "I know I've taken so much from you. I've ripped you from the only life you ever knew and I made you something that you hate. I only hope that with time you'll forgive me for what I've done."
Grace took him by surprise as she finally turned to face him taking one of his hands in hers. "But I've already forgiven you. Even if I'd never met you I still would have gone to the crossroads that night. I'm just lucky that it was you that came when I made that deal. I don't even want to imagine what would have happened if it had been anyone else."
She squeezed his hand as she attempted to give him a smile despite her mood. "And you do piss me off and scare the crap out of me sometimes. And I hate it when you leave me in the dark like that. It's a real jackass move, but you're my jackass and I don't want you to change."
Crowley let out a heavy breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as relief washed over his body. He leaned in pressing a kiss to her lips happy that she returned his kiss with just as much enthusiasm.
He reluctantly pulled away as Dean opened the driver's door puling his jacket a little closer to his body trying to keep dry.
Crowley disappeared and then reappeared in the front seat as Dean spoke "What am I supposed to do ? Call in a bomb threat ? Call in a thousand bomb threats ? I mean what the hell how am I supposed to get three million people out of Chicago in the next ten minutes ?"
"Maybe that could work. Couldn't it ?" Grace pointed out waiting for Crowley to say something.
She rolled her eyes as Crowley suddenly disappeared .
"Oh well that's great. Come on " Dean mumbled throwing his hands up in exasperation, just as irritated as Grace over Crowley's disappearance.
They both looked out the window as they saw Crowley standing by the entrance of a pizzeria motioning towards the door mouthing something intelligible.
Grace frowned trying hard to read his lips, but the weather was so rotten that she was having a difficult time focusing on him through the wet windows.
Dean rolled his eyes holding a hand up to his ear motioning that he couldn't hear what the demon was saying. "What ?"
Crowley huffed mouthing the words slower as he began to motion towards the door of the pizzeria more frantically.
"What ? Yeah we can't hear you." Dean stated beginning to grow even more annoyed with Crowley's motioning.
"I said. I found Death...he's in there." Crowley said as he suddenly reappeared in the passenger's seat.
Dean gave Crowley an uncertain look as he stepped out of the impala. He began to wonder if this was why Crowley was so damn hell-bent on getting pizza earlier in the day.
He leaned over ready to ask the two demons if they were coming along but found the car empty. "Are you two coming or...fine, I guess I'll go alone."
Crowley and Grace didn't reappear until Dean entered the pizzeria. They leaned against the side of the impala despite the rainy weather.
Crowley was the first to speak motioning towards the pizzeria. "That's the thing about Death. He loves food. Especially fast food anything that's bad for you really, burgers, fries, anything fried, pizza."
Grace raised an eyebrow a little intrigued to learn something as strange as Death having a sweet tooth and a junk food addiction.
She spoke still a little irritated that Crowley apparently knew where death was all along and they had been on a wild goose chase all morning. "And you were going to share this with us when ?"
"I had to buy us some time love. Everyone in that pizzeria except Death himself is dead." Crowley explained ignoring Grace's annoyed tone of voice.
Grace dropped her jaw suddenly fearing for Dean even if he was a hunter, considering he'd gone in there all alone with something that could wipe out a building full of people. She felt an undercurrent of rage for all the people whom had died in the pizzeria for no real reason.
Crowley spoke again as though he knew just what she was thinking. "That's just the way it is Gracie. When it's your time to go you go. Speaking of, we should get out of here."
"We're just going to leave without Dean ?" She asked unsure of rather she could handle having to wait to find out rather Dean got Death's ring or not.
"Stop worrying. It'll all work out." Crowley stated though he honestly wasn't sure that it was all going to work out.This could be it for them. The end of everything.
He didn't give Grace anytime to argue the matter as they suddenly disappeared.
Grace was surprised when they reappeared in a nice motel room, and not the abandoned deteriorating motel room they had been in for the past few days.
This room was clean with a freshly made single bed and a working tv. She moved over to the windows peeking out the curtains as she spotted a lit up Motel 8 sign.
"I thought we deserved something a little nicer than our usual accommodations." Crowley explained even though he didn't think that the motel was exactly up to his high standards.
Though there was a mini fridge he had the feeling that none of the mini bottles of liquor were aged Craig whiskey scotch. At least the room was clean though, and it had electricity that he didn't have to start up himself and warm running water in the bathroom. So it was nicer than the places they had been staying.
To Grace it seemed like an amazing luxury not having to worry about rats or insects or dust. And to be able to sleep in a bed that had freshly washed sheets on it seemed heavenly.
She was almost tempted to ask if there was a washer and dryer somewhere where she could wash all her clothing, but she wasn't exactly sure how long they would be here.
It could be one day or it could be a week. She was getting so tired of running and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep it up. She was so tired of always having to look over her shoulder. Always expecting some demon to pop out and drag them away. Always fearing that one day she would wake up and the world as she knew it would be destroyed.
She looked up as Crowley stepped beside her and leaned over pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Why don't you take a shower. Are you hungry ? I'll see if I can get us some food from the chest. We have a package of microwave noodles still , or some of that sodium free vegetable soup you like."
She frowned realizing that she didn't have much of an appetite the stress of the day had killed any chance of having a healthy appetite. "No don't worry about it just make yourself something, I'll just take a bath."
"You really should eat something darling. You've barely had a real meal in the past week. And no a real meal does not consist of a handful of dry kids cereal or a chocolate bar and a diet coke." Crowley scolded as he noticed just how thin she was getting from stressing and not eating an actual well-balanced meal.
He was beginning to worry about her between her stressing 24-7 and the nightmares that still plagued her sleep. She looked like hell no pun intended given their status as demons.
She was still a baby demon though and her meatsuit needed far more rest and care than his did. At his age he could go a on for a long while without sleep or a real meal. It would be a hundred years or so until she developed the same tolerances as him.
She gave him a soft playful smile as she teased him. "And this is coming from the guy who drinks his body weight in Craig."
He huffed mumbling something about that not being fair and to stop changing the subject as she pulled away from him and went to the tiny bathroom shutting the door behind her.
She turned on the water in the bathtub getting it as hot as she could stand as she pulled a bottle of vanilla and rose scented bubble bath that she thankfully remembered to pick up at their last shopping trip, into the tub.
She stripped down tossing her dirty clothing in a pile on the floor as she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.
She sighed as she noticed that she had dropped more weight than she'd usually be comfortable with. She looked a little sickly. Her skin was ashy and she had dark circles under her eyes from lack of a good nights sleep. Her eyes were what struck her the most. Her once vibrant gray eyes looked dull and hardened from all that she had seen and been through over the past few months. The innocent 22 year old girl that she had been just few months ago was long gone.
She frowned not wanting to focus on how horrible she looked anymore as she stepped away from the mirror and slid into the tiny bathtub sighing at the warm sensation that washed over her. She laid back inhaling the sweet scent of vanilla and roses as she closed her eyes trying to relax her stressed body.
Grace stayed in the tub until her skin was pruney. She wrapped one of the motels scratchy white towels around her body.
The lights had all been turned off except one beside the bed. Crowley was already laying back on the bed with his shoes off, focused on the news with a glass of craig in his hand. Thankfully they still had two bottles of his drink of choice with them in the wooden chest that they kept most of their belongings and food in.
Grace changed into a pair of white cotton panties and a nightgown that seemed clean enough before she pulled out her hairbrush.
She sat on the bed beside Crowley as she tried to work the brush through her wet hair. Crowley leaned over pressing a kiss to her shoulder as he spoke. "Are you still angry with me ?"
"I wasn't angry with you." She lied not really wanting to focus on how angry she had been with him today.
She didn't want to argue with him. Her brain was already under enough stress and she didn't want to add a disagreement with the only person she had in the world, to her list of worries.
She felt him sigh against her shoulder before he pressed another kiss to her shoulder thankfully dropping the subject. He placed his glass on the table before he began to run his hand along her thigh pushing the nightgown up. "I love you."
She placed the hairbrush on the bedside table as she laid back. "I love you too."
Crowley pressed his lips to hers as he hesitantly moved over her. He was almost afraid that the loathing she had felt for him earlier today would return and she would shove him away in disgust.
He was relieved as she wrapped her arms around him pulling him closer to her. She let out a soft sigh against his lips closing her eyes as his hands began to explore her still clothed body.
He rocked against her gently at slow pace as his lips traveled over to the side of her neck. She rocked back against him not helping but to let out a small frustrated noise. The light pressure that they were building up was quickly growing maddening and it just wasn't enough.
It didn't help that she could clearly feel him hardening against her obviously just as needy as her. He was taking his time though keeping her clothed as he let his hands focus on trailing up and down her legs.
She reached down pulling the nightgown over her head and throwing it across the room before she reached forward unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off his body wanting to at least feel his skin against hers.
Grace let out a whimper as he pulled his hips away from her and moved his lips down to her breasts beginning to focus on them instead of the place she needed him the most.
She finally had enough deciding to take matters into her own hands as she slid a hand down her body reaching underneath the cotton of her undergarments. She pressed her fingers against herself hoping to relieve some of the tension that had quickly built up in the lower half of her body.
She heard Crowley chuckle against her breasts as he reached down placing his hand over hers. She let out another whimper as he pulled her hand away and spoke up. "Naughty girl starting without me."
She gazed up at him knowing that just a few months ago hearing something like that would have caused her to turn as red as a tomato from embarrassment. But now it just made her feel as though she was about to go completely out of her mind with want.
She was sure that if she didn't have him soon she was going to have to start begging him.
She smirked deciding to turn the tables on him as she reached down and cupped him through his pants. "I don't think your friend has a problem with it."
He groaned at the sensation of her hand being pressed against him. He knew by now that she was so amazing with her hands and just the thought of it was enough to make him rock against her hand in anticipation.
He tried to take back control of the situation as he pulled away causing her to frown pouting at him. He pulled her hand up popping one of her fingers into his mouth sucking at the wetness.
She had succeeded in not blushing earlier but failed this time around her cheeks darkening as he sucked at her fingers making exaggerated noises.
She moaned a little at the sight as she laid her head back and huffed. "You are so evil."
"Like I haven't heard that one before." Crowley replied as he finally pulled his mouth away from her fingers.
She pulled him a bit closer being sure to press herself against him she spoke. "I'm going to have to kill you if you drag this out any longer."
He smirked knowing that she didn't need to threaten him since he felt like he was ready to burst at any minute. Not that he was going to tell her that.
It was far too fun to tease her like this and besides she wasn't worrying at the moment.
Grace opened her eyes frowning at the darkness in the room. Hadn't Crowley left a light on for her as he always did considering she was still anxious about being in the dark.
She reached out panic spreading up from her gut as she discovered that Crowley's side of the bed was empty.
She sat up speaking her voice shrill. "Crowley."
She heard nothing in response as she got out of bed and reached into the darkness unable to find a lamp. Oh god where was the damn lamp? And more importantly where was Crowley ?
She walked forward just now noticing how hot the room was and the farther she walked the hotter it seemed to get.
Grace was sweating heavily as she reached forward and opened the motel rooms door. She stepped into the darkness yelping as she realized just how hot the ground was. It was almost too hot to even walk on. Hotter than the summers she remembered from her childhood in Georgia.
She moved forward trying to peer through the darkness feeling as though the bottoms of her feet were going to start to sizzle and smoke from the impossibly hot ground.
She reached out unable to see where she was going. It was almost as though she was no longer anywhere near the motel. Besides where were the outside lights and the huge motel eight sign ? There wasn't even a moon or stars as she looked up.
It was as though she was surrounded with nothing but darkness and heat. Oh god the heat was horrible. It was like she was standing way too close to a camp fire.
She screeched as two arms encircled her lifting her up as she kicked and screamed. Whomever had her locked in their grasp moved forward into light.
Grace was unable to stop screaming when she realized that the light wasn't just light it was fire. There were flames everywhere and it was as though she was underground. There was a dark rocky surface above her.
She was spun around forced to face her captor. She began to hyperventilate as she locked eyes with Eli. Though it wasn't the same Eli she had remembered his body or his meatsuit really was blood soaked and so twisted, his neck was broken pieces of jagged white bone and oozing blood sticking out. His eyes were pitch black and his mouth was locked into a wide smile. A smile so impossibly wide, his teeth were just sharp little jagged points.
She jumped as she heard a booming familiar voice. Oh god it was Crowley. "Do you have my queen ?!"
Eli nodded his head speaking with a low growl of a voice. "Yes my king."
He twisted her around pushing her forward to face a large creature sitting on a throne made of human skulls and a thick black material. It looked as though the throne was oozing with some sort of black sludge.
She stared up at the creature his eyes far too large and so black. It was like she was staring into empty pits, there were large horns extending from his head, his skin a sick moldy green, and the smell, it was like rancid meat. It was like a massive rotted corpse with horns.
He moved a hand forward grasping her wrist as a searing pain encased her. The creature spoke with Crowley's voice its teeth sharp. "Come on Gracie, come here darling. Don't you know I love you darling."
She screamed trying to fight him but his grip was too strong and before she knew it the floor collapsed beneath her revealing a fiery swirling pit.
The creature smiled at her speaking as it held her over the pit of fire. "A deals a deal darling."
And with that it released her wrist dropping her into the pit as she screamed. As she fell she could hear a voice so clearly. It sounded so concerned. So different from the sounds of screaming and crackling fire that surrounded her.
"Grace. Grace, Gracie darling come on wake up love." Crowley stated his voice growing louder as he shook her.
Grace's eyes opened as she found her eyes locked with Crowley's worried hazel eyes. He reached out pressing a gentle hand to her cheek as he spoke. "You were screaming and thrashing. Your entire body is soaked in a cold sweat Gracie."
Grace was unable to force herself to speak, she began to feel tears leak out the corners of her eyes as she began to cry. She crumbled against him, her body wracking with sobs.
Crowley wrapped his arms around her unfortunately accustomed to her waking from nightmares by now. He began to rock her as he pressed kisses to her the side of her face and her neck. "It was just a dream darling. Just a bad dream. It wasn't real."
"Talk to me Grace. Tell me what scared you. We'll make it okay I promise." He begged wanting to soothe her as much as he could.
She settled against him her sobs still not quieting. She shook her head rapidly as she held him tighter. "I don't want to talk about it. It was too horrible. Please let's just not talk about it."
He sighed use to her not wanting to discuss her bad dream. He couldn't help but to want to force her to talk to him about her nightmares. He just wanted to make it better. He was so accustomed to having control over everything and everyone in his life. The thought of not being able to do anything to fix all of Grace's fears and worries for her made him feel useless.
He decided now wasn't the time to force her to talk to him though. Someday he'd make her discuss her dreams with him. And somehow he'd find a way to make things better. The only problem was he had no idea how to make any of this better.