Les Voeux Dans Le Claire de Lune
Vows In The Moonlight
Chapter 3: Studio Humiliation And Madness
Here I am again. Tommy doesn't want to leave me alone. And people want more Tommy craziness. (I kinda have him on a leash so he doesn't go too far.) But he needs to leave so I can work with my vampires. It not fair to Nick(my vamp) that I'm with Tommy all the time.
I'm being very nice posting this now. But thats only because the next chap will take awhile. Please send me some input you may have and I put it into consideration.
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On with the next installment...
This has been slow going. It had been three days since the whole Jude drunk and laying all over me incident. And me finally admitting how I feel about her. I can't believe she didn't say one thing about that. She said a lot but nothing about that. She didn't even talk about when I kissed her, I know she felt something, she had to.
She could have been hinting to me but I'm a guy, you need to be straight forward with me or I won't understand. You'd think she'd know that shes been around a lot a guys, SME and Jamie have been there forever. I'm no different from them.
Well except I'm a man; and I have reached a level of maturity they can only dream of. Oh, plus I know what to do with a woman.
I tried to tell her again after I took her home but my confidence faltered. I'm going into a flashback so hold on.
"Jude I..."
"Yes Tommy," her eyes looked expectant and so hopeful.
"I was just wondering if you needed anything while I'm here," could I be anymore stupid? The hopefulness drains from her.
"Oh," she shakes her head, "no thanks."
"I'll see you at the studio then." I give her a quick kiss on the cheek. I was hoping she would move her head a bit to the right, so I could enamor her soft lips.
"Bye." She closes the door but looks on as I settled myself in my car.
I look back to see her slump against the door before she slides down to the floor. Why can't I do this?!
I haven't seen her since.
This is not me, I don't lose my nerve.
Why can't I just tell her, when she's awake that is. It wold be so much easier if I knew that she still wants me, like she did when she was sixteen. Or she could completely destroy me. Either way, if I don't tell her or she doesn't want me; I'm going to suffer immensely.
Its just, what if that hopefulness is for something else? Like she wants me to tell her how I feel so she can crush me. Treat me like the slime I sometimes can be.
There's something telling me that she was more aware then I thought when I said those words; words I have uttered many times and only meant this once.
Hey sometimes those words can get you the world. I was young and needed a lot of... um... I think you get my point.
I'm at the door of the studio Jude is working in, as I make my entrance I see Jude sitting, with her legs crossed, in my chair. Oh, can I jump her now? I can't get rejected twice by the same girl, in the time period of two days. Did I mention she's wearing a mini skirt?
This shouldn't be this hard, come on it was funny. Okay back to Jude. I've seen her legs before. I've felt the silkiness of them. I've been straddled by them.
That's my problem: I know what I'm missing.
"Hi Tommy," Jude said in a seductive tone. Everything she says to me sounds seductive. I scratch my head and attempt to alleviate the raunchy thoughts that have once again plagued my mind.
"Hi." I answer quickly and step out of the room. I saw the confused look on her face at my hasty retreat. 'Why is this happening to me?' I had to ask myself that, I know why but I had to put it out there.
Can't I just act normal around her like I use to? You know the whole flirting situation we had. But that was before the whole 'I love you' thing. But I can't help that I want to be with her forever and a month.
I just need time to breathe and gather my mangled thoughts. Just a few seconds alone will do it.
"Tommy?" This is just not my day, "is something wrong?" Sadie asked in a sincere tone that I haven't heard from her in awhile. Her animosity for me must be gone, well she just spent a few days alone with my best friend. I know he can get it done, I've heard some of it before. Some places have paper thin walls. I don't recommend them if you like you're privacy.
Sadie's hostility will be back when she needs another dose of Kwest.
I never deserved her loathing, uh... I guess I kinda did. I wasn't always there, I ignored her sometimes, she came in second to her little sister, there's possibly more and I don't care to list them right now or ever again.
I hear her muffled giggling. I see her bite her lip and her eyes just adverted to to the floor. Out of the corner of her eye she can see my confused expression. "Um... never mind I see what the problem is." She turned swiftly and walked away still trying to stifle her laughs.
She's laughing why? I look down as I shake my head. Shit! This would spring up now. I groan at this. I didn't think it would be this noticeable, wait this is me, of course it's going to be noticeable. And I quickly make my way to the washroom and into a stall.
Little Tommy we talked about this. Not at the studio. Not when Jude needs me to work. Yes, I know that we need Jude to work us, but that can't transpire right now. (He's a lot smarter than I am, I have to use bigger words.) Not with all these interested bystanders.
Well there's always my fantasy where I... well let's just say it involves Jude and the receptionist's desk. But Sadie wouldn't appreciate that one very much. Or for that fact Darius.
Little Tommy is a lot less excited after Darius' name came into my head. He might have gone into hibernation.
I head back to the studio hoping I will make it through the session without a major incident. Jude sees me and smiles and head to the booth, dragging Spied along with her. She leans into him and it looks like she's whispering to him.
The booth is soundproof and she knows that the mic isn't on. This appears to be a ploy to provoke me then have my jealousy ensue and run rampant.
Did that make sense? I'm trying to expand my vocabulary. If you understood that, than I think its working. Or your a moron, like me, and you're pretending you understand me. And thats probably because I slept with you.
"Okay let do this." Jude's jumping around excitedly. Took the words right out of my mouth.
Wally is watching her like she grew another head or two. And Kyle's expression isn't much better.
"Kwest did you put something in her coffee?" He holds up his hands and looks away. He has something to do with this. Bastard I'll get him for this.
He turned to me with a questioning gaze. "By the what happened after I left Friday?"
"Not much, Why?" I try to look impassive. He looks at me skeptically but doesn't press, he'll wait till later to push out information about my time with Jude. When there aren't any interruption or Jude.
"Tommy, baby, this one goes out to you." She points to me through the glass and flashes a wide grin. Huh...
Form a line at the counter
Boarding pass always with you
Now this is your big number
Welcome aboard
Fasten seatbelt while seated
Turn off everything with you
Electronic devices
Welcome aboard
I've got these airport feelings
All over you
I'm ready for a landing
I'm ready to lose
I repeat, huh...
This is your captain speaking (prepare for turbulence)
Thirty three thousand feet high
Now your skin is my runway
Welcome aboard
What the hell...
I've got these airport feelings
All over you
I'm ready for a landing
I'm ready to lose
I've got these airport feelings
I've got these airport feelings
I've got these airport feelings
All over you
Let me tell you it's not getting any easier, me having to listen to her sing. I move uncomfortably in my chair, as her voice goes up another octave. The words aren't helping any either.
Now your skin is my runway
I'm ready for a landing
All over you (your skin is my runway)
Now your skin is my runway
I'm ready to lose
I think Spied told the rest of SME and Jamie because they are a little too fascinated with watching me. Okay Little Tommy control yourself we can't have another moment like we had earlier. Especially while we have the idiot gang watching.
Oh thank you. She's finished with the song, but not the torturing.
Jude walks out of the booth and over to me."Tommy, what did you think?" I sat there and tried to come up with words that would be understandable outside my head. "I wrote that from your prospective." Thats a little shocking, but hey, she was thinking about me.
"Why would that be my prospective?" Can't let her know I'm happy about this. She moved her face so it mere inches from mine.
"You know exactly why." I've been waiting for her to pull that line on me. Thats what I get, I guess.
I stepped out to get some water after the session. And for that fact Jude kept getting too close to me. I seriously doubt she wants to be ravaged in the studio with SME, Jamie, Kwest, and Sadie watching. Plus whoever walks past the room.
I come back to see Jude sitting next to Spied. Jude has been here all day; I know she needs to sleep. Since I rudely woke her up so she wouldn't be late. Yeah, I can be an asshole sometimes. I get yelled at over the phone for at least ten minutes. I hung up once but she called back. And kept calling till I turned the phone off. I'm now afraid to check my messages.
She is nestled in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. She can barely keep her eyes open. Spied has his head leaning against her. I can see they're talking to each other out of the corner of my eye, but I can't make what they're saying. Damn these headphones.
Even though I know they're only friends, I can't help it; I want to rip off his arm and stuff it down his throat. It not fair for me to have to watch them be this close. He gets to hold her while she awake kind of. I get her drunk and passed out.
Some guy has walked in here like he owns the place and is heading straight for my Jude. She smiles brightly as he approaches her, "hi, Johnny." Jude says to him as he places a kiss on her cheek. She throws her arms around his neck.
"Hey, you ready to go?" He says in a tone that makes my skin crawl. How can she stand to be within ten feet from him let alone, aw hell... he's got his arm around her shoulders.
In my jealous rage I hardly notice that she was speaking to me. "Um... Tommy are we finished for the day?"
"Huh...what?" I ask even though I know what she said. It gives time to stabilize my emotions. I can't let her leave with some bastard. I mean, a bastard that's not me.
"Can I leave now?" She is close to begging. Which is not a good thing. Begging makes Little Tommy very happy.
"Yeah, go home." I almost stressed the word 'home' but thought better of it.
"Who said anything about going home?" Um, didn't I just say that. I may not be a genius, but I know what I said.
"You should go to bed, you need to rest up for tomorrow. You have to record again."
Jude leaned in to give me my usual small kiss on the cheek. I'm not too happy with her right now so I back up a little as she was closing the distance between us. She looks hurt but brushes it off and gives me her seductive smile. "Don't worry I'll be in bed soon enough."
My fists clench as she said that. I'm close to growling, and not the good kind. Jude knows and likes when I'm jealous. That's why there's extra sparkle in her eyes. Its mischief. She wants me jealous, is it going to eat away at me?
Hell yeah it is; she always gets what she wants.
But there are times it comes back to bite her in the ass. I just may make this the time. I'm not going to play her games. I will be on the inside but I won't let her see how much she is getting to me.
Then I'll let it all explode and admit I love her, then I'll get to act out a few fantasies on the roof. That will eliminate at least eight from my forever ongoing list.
That could work, I won't be thinking I'll blurt out 'I love you' without the nervousness and be done with it. Until I have to deal with the fact that she doesn't want to be with me.
I see her near the front door her head turns back slightly but I couldn't catch her eyes. And then she disappeared into the darkness.
"Hey, man." He looked into the direction I was, "what are you looking at?"
"Nothing." I gather my thought as I face him. "Why are you still here? I thought you would be with Sadie," he's never here this late.
"She said some family came into town," he shrugged, "and that she hasn't seen her cousin in forever, I think that's who came and got Jude." What? Cousin? Did he say 'cousin'? A cousin?! I'm freaking over a cousin. Could I have said that enough?
She has done some low thing before but this, making me think she has someone else. His next comments brought me out of my temporary coma.
"So are you going to tell me what happened between the two of you? Jude came in acting weird."
"Weird? How?" How much more crazy can she act when I'm not around?
"I don't know she just wasn't Jude." The look on his face gave away more that I ever imagined. I guess I really messed this girl up. Wouldn't be the first time. I take a deep breath and prepare for the exhausting story.
"So what happened with Jude was..." I recounted the events that took place over the weekend. He would nod or get this expression I had to laugh at a couple times. I think it was somewhere between shock and envy. Don't know where envy came from, we both got one on one time with a Harrison but I got no where with mine.
"How can she not know? I mean, you've been going around for years and now she's blind?" His voice laced with incredulity. "I don't buy it. She has to know, you said you think she was awake when you finally told her." He looked as if he went into deep thought, pondering over the whole situation.
"Maybe you're right and she's just not quite sure of what she heard, that she wants to be absolutely sure of your words." When did Kwest get all wise and shit? Does he know Jude better than I do? Do I need to just get it over with and tell her? Why are there so many questions in my brain?
I nod absently as I agree with him. Do these questions floating in my head need to be justified sooner rather than later? Could I lose her if I don't tell her now? I need to stop with these damn questions.
"See you in the morning," Kwest says, I nod again not sure of his exact words. There's too much to concentrate on.
My brain doesn't work this much normally. That could be why I'm getting a headache. It's really becoming clear, with the help I got from Kwest. I can just admit everything then hope and pray that she really wants to be with me, in the way I have been dreaming of for a very long time now.
I will either put the misery to an end or be suffering and bury myself in self pity till I feel the need to get on with my life.
Which will be never, because no one has made me feel the way Jude does with just a simple look. I won't find anyone as perfect as her to fill the hole that she'll leave. I'll be forever a broken soul.
Dramatic should be my middle name.
Song: Airport Feelings by Kinky
"but I couldn't catch her eyes" Keep that in mind for the final chapter. It will be the inspiration for the song I included. Actually I was inspired by the song but still, you get my point.
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