Beaches
Summary: The beach. That same beach. It was always there wasn't it. Where everything came full circle. Where every single bad thing between two universes happens. It had to be here. She knelt by him, fists clenched and holding tight onto his suit jacket.
Disclaimer: Don't own Doctor Who
She waited several long seconds with her arms still outstretched but the familiar metallic sound of the dalek crying out "exterminate" never reached her ears. Instead her head was filled with the familiar humming of the TARDIS. She dropped her hands to her sides and her breath caught in her throat. How could he have saved her even when he lay dead on that beach. How could she be here, safe when he was gone.
Her knees buckled and she reached for the railing she thought would be in front of her. Instead her fingers met air as she crumpled to the floor. Her eyes snapped open and she stared, mouth agape at the unfamiliar ship she found herself in. She swallowed hard as she scrambled back up to her feet. Everything was so different all around her.
She walked slowly and tentatively up to the console, staring in awe at how much cleaner it looked. There were no more coral struts and the jump seat was different, the grating had been replaced with a see through flooring. She stared in awe at the new colorful and brilliant interior of the TARDIS and then pinched herself on the arm hard.
She didn't wake up. She pinched herself again and again until her breathing started to become ragged and strained. Maybe she really was dead and this was either Heaven or Hell. She was alone inside of what she would have assumed a completely alien ship if she couldn't feel the hum or the TARDIS inside of her mind.
"Am I dead?" she whispered, her voice breaking on the last word. She had been completely prepared in that moment with the Dalek to be consumed by the complete and utter darkness she imagined it would be like to be completely void of life. However, she was not prepared for this to be her afterlife.
She felt a familiar nuge inside of her head. The TARDIS was trying to communicate with her. Her brow furrowed as her breath caught and she gripped onto the new black rail she now knew was several inches farther away than the rail in her Doctor's TARDIS.
"Not dead…" she whispered, sudden realization washing over her as she gazed around the ship again, "but you've changed, how?" she asked, swallowing as she waited for the TARDIS to stroke her mind once more. But now the old girl was being completely silent. Rose growled in frustration and tried to communicate with the ship.
During her Torchwood days and all the brilliant years she spent with her Doctor—she felt a twinge of pain in her heart and her stomach did a flip as the memory of him lifeless on the beach came back into her head. She choked back a sob as she tried to focus on the psychic training she had received in order to communicate with the TARDIS.
"Where am I?" she asked aloud, mind reaching for the ship's own consciousness, "if I'm not dead where am I?" she bit her lip and combed her fingers through her hair, "is this purgatory?" The TARDIS responded with the equivalent of a laugh.
"No, you're right. That's ridiculous," she snorted then, "but if this isn't the afterlife and I'm not dead then is this the future? Am I somehow stuck in a futuristic version of you? I'm really not sure how this is possible—" then a thought struck her and she felt the tears sting in her eyes as she choked on her next hysterical words—"Why did you save me but not him!"
She balled her hands into fists and trembled. Why was he dead and she was still alive. Why couldn't the TARDIS have saved them both?
"I'm not even important," she choked out, "he needed you. I was ready to die!" she slammed her fists into the console before sinking to the floor and sobbing violently.