Beaches

Chapter 5

Summary:

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who

A/N: For KC3

She stayed huddled behind the shrub in a tight ball, knees pulled into her chest so tightly she couldn't breathe, for a long time. She tries desperately to keep her grief over the loss of both her Doctors in one day under control. She bit her tongue to hold back her sobs, terrified of being discovered by The Doctor's friends who were now huddled together around his body, sobs escaping unabashed.

The people at the beach were obviously people he trusted, but she didn't know what kind of man The Doctor had become without her. She had no idea if she could trust these new friends of his or not. They didn't seem violent, but she learned in her many years of Torchwood training that looks can be deceiving. So she opted to stay hidden until she could get her emotions under control and gain more information on The Doctor's new friends.

Then she heard it, the footfalls and hushed whispers of people approaching. She fought frantically to get her emotions under control and keep her breathing even. Then, once she could trust herself to be quiet, she slowly lifted herself up from the ground to look at what was happening. Her eyes and cheek stung harshly from where the sand stuck to her face and she wiped at it roughly as she watched The Doctor's friends approached, dragging his body, now covered in a white sheet, between them.

Rose stifled a gasp at their proximity, placing her hand over her mouth in surprise. Then, she watched, confused as they brought The Doctor's body, along with a red canister full of liquid sloshing loudly inside, to rest beside her boat.

Her stomach churned and her heart ached when she saw him, sheet bound to his corpse. She watched as two of his friends, a woman with curly sand colored hair and a man, the only man in the group, poured the liquid from the canister over the sheet containing The Doctor's body.

Her stomach churned again when she realized they were going to burn him, giving him the proper funeral her Doctor would never get to have. She choked a little, almost losing it as her mind drifted back to his body, lifeless on another beach in another universe. He was alone there, this doctor had friends. Her Doctor needed her, but she was here. She squeezed her hands over her mouth, desperately trying to silence the crazed, broken-hearted sobs threatening to rip free from her throat.

"River, help me," the man said, tearing her free from her thoughts of her Doctor on another beach without her. She turned and watched them then as the curly haired woman, who had previously been trying to calm the other woman with red hair who was still crying hysterically, disentangled herself from the other woman and moved to help the man. River, the woman with curly hair, made her way slowly to The Doctor's body and helped the man lift and place him into the boat.

They all stood there sadly for a moment, whispering words they couldn't hear to one another. Then she watched as the red haired woman dug into the pockets of her jeans and pulled out a matchbook. She tried in vain to light several matches, body trembling before she let out a loud, frustrated wail. Rose swallowed, knowing exactly how the other woman felt.

River frowned, watching as the red head threw the matches onto the beach and fell to her knees, defeated. Then, Rose watched as River retrieved the matches, lighting one on the first try and tossing it into the boat. The wood ignited quickly and the man and River pushed it out into the lake, watching as it cut through the surface of the water, making its way closer and closer to the center.

River and the man stood, the red haired woman between them, both with a hand on her shoulder, watching with silent tears streaming down their faces as The Doctor's body burned.

Then, she couldn't hold it in anymore. She lowered her body back to the ground, trying desperately to squeeze all the air from her lungs so she couldn't make a sound. Quiet sobs broke free from her throat anyway, despite trying to swallow her pain. She had just watched the man she loved die, been ripped away from him into another universe only to watch the other him die almost immediately afterwards.

She lay on the ground with her cheek pressed to the sand for what felt like years. She bit her tongue and wrapped her arms around herself, squeezing her knees into her chest, trying desperately to be silent.

In all her years of Torchwood training, they had never prepared her for this. Granted, her Torchwood training hadn't prepared her for much of anything she faced out in the field. Least of all what to do when the man she loved died before her eyes…twice. Torchwood was more of a learn-as-it-happens. At least for where she and The Doctor were concerned. Especially since she and The Doctor constantly found themselves in situations Torchwood had in no way prepared them for.

Her heart ached in her chest at the memory of her and her Doctor running hand in hand. He always knew what to say to make her feel better. She wished he was here now, to take her into his arms and tell her that this had all been some horrible nightmare; that this wasn't her reality, but here she was in an alternate universe and he wasn't coming back.

She bit her tongue to hold back a strangled cry as the realization set in. This was her reality now; two universes without The Doctor. She didn't know how they were going to go on, how they would survive. She had experienced first-hand what happened when The Doctor died in that alternate universe where she had to save Donna to save him to save the world. How could they survive without him?

The sun had begun to set when she could finally bring herself to sit up again. The sand from the beach clung to her skin and burned, but she found she didn't care. She glanced back down at the beach, expecting it to now be empty, but The Doctor's friends were still there. Her breath caught and she watched them as they gazed out at the lake, watching as the last of the flames from the boat slipped under the water, extinguishing her hope of ever seeing him again.

The Doctor was dead.