Chapter 9– Marriage and Dumbledore makes three
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All I had to do was get dressed with the elves help and remember my lines. Daphne had the perfect wedding in a quaint chapel. It was perfect because she planed it down to the rings from the Potter vaults.
We had said our goodbyes and thanks to the Flamels in advance of the wedding so when we were officially married we headed to our home on Knockturn Alley. Honeymoon was what it is called but Daphne decided and I of course agreed. A Honeymoon was for sex etc and we needed to get use to each other being a bit closer before a Honeymoon was in order. The first night may be told if we ever get over the embarrassment. There was this big bed that we had not discussed before. So we decided that separate beds were not good for a marriage so we tackled the big bed.
Ah but what to wear to that big bed. "So my darling what do you normally wear to bed?"
"Err, nothing I am a birthday suit type but if that makes you nervous I can wear what ever makes you happy. And you wear?"
"Just a Quittage jersey, Dam it Harry lets not start changing just to make the other happy, OK?"
So I slipped in bed and under the covers while she was slipping into her Quittage jersey in the bathroom. We said good night from different ends of the big bed when the lights went out. The next morning showed us that most of our embarrassments would work themselves out. During the night we both made it to the middle of the bed. Her jersey had worked its way up as my hand had found a breast from the outside of the jersey. I found that out from her laughing that woke me. It was my morning wood that was sticking her bum that made her laugh and said, "Well at least it prove you are interested in me and sex." She continued giggling which caused movement which didn't help the situation.
So for the week before the train to Hogwarts we got school supplies and robes. Mopsy would bring our stuff later. There was no use lugging trunks all over the place as Mopsy was happy for the work. We boarded the train early and watch the fun and confusion on the platform. Hedwick had left for Hogwarts earlier. At the last moment the Weasley's arrived with noise and shouting and with Hermione.
"Daphne if I leave the compartment please come with me, I think we are going to get some unwanted company. If I leave I won't be comming back."
"I was thinking along the same lines but it should be fun to see how they try to handle your return. It's a shame that we will have to sit at different tables during the welcoming feast." Daphne grumbled.
"Yes but afterwards the looks on their faces should be well worth the temporary separation." I smiled at the thought. What the great manipulator had forgotten and further didn't know was Daphne had finished her OWLs and was now married to me. She had no strings that he could pull using her. With me I was under no restraint, I was there to take my OWLs. I expected he was going to pull a number of things but what he didn't know was going to bit him in his ass. I was under no restraint to be nice and all he could do was expel me and snap my wand. Either way I was free of him and their interference. Gee if no one in the world would sell me a wand and it was illegal for me to use a wand why would I care?
The train lurched forward and departed the station the three boobs entered the compartment.
"Hi mate, what the snake doing here?"
"Did you keep up your studies while you were gone?" Hermione started.
"Harry would you like some chocolates I have here?" Ginny smiled.
I got up and walked out the door followed by Daphne. We didn't get far before we ran into Malfoy and his bookends Crab and Goyle.
"Potter, my father says you had to show your ugly face and we are in the mood to show you some manners and your place here at Hogwarts."
"Why thank you Dudley." With a flip of my finger their clothes disappeared. Daphne had some caustic remarks about seeing a baby better outfitted. Draco and bookends ran for cover and a teacher.
To my surprise Professor McGonagall showed up and demanded our wands. Daphne had a 'Stupify' followed by another 'Stupify'. That was from our meeting with MadEye in the Alley.
Since my wand was just a dead stick I focused on her wand and when she did the prior spell charm she got a contraceptive charm followed by a contraceptive charm. She handed our wand back, shook her head and left.
Daphne had a comment, "Sex on your mind lover boy?"
"For only you my love" I replied and she turned red.
We found a compartment with only two people, Longbottom and Lovegood and asked if we could join them.
"Yea, sure Harry, but I think I saw Ron and Hermione just head town toward the end of the train." Neville said.
"Well they are on our Dragon Dung list for Christmas but thanks for the information." Daphne growled.
"So how is married life?" Luna asked causing Neville's eyes to budge.
"Dam the rings, thanks Luna we forgot about them, appreciate if you keep this secret till after the welcoming feast." I waved my wand and a glamour charm covered all the rings.
"No problems Harry but when they find out about your marriage they are going to kill you." Neville croaked.
"Sorry but that's been tried before and will be tried again, sorry they lose" smiled Daphne.
We chatted and found that Neville and Luna had become an item but were still treated like dung. Further that all the nasty or inept players were still there at Hogwarts and of course no DADA professor for this year.
The "tarnished trio" stopped by during the trip but the door seemed to be stuck. By the time they chased down McGonagall the announcement of our arrival was made so they had to scurry back to change. When she tried the door it worked perfectly and left shaking her head.
/Scene Break/
Daphne sat next to Tracey at the Slytherin table and I sat at the far end from the "tarnished trio" as I would be calling them from now on. Every thing as it was when I left and the food was fantastic as I remembered it. Then the introduction of the new DADA teacher who was a fat toad looking thing in a pink dress. A Ministers plant in the school no doubt but for me or Dumbeldore? Then the fun started as I walked to the head table and requested Head of House quarters, or Founders quarters as what they were called I did not have the faintest.
The toad woman was off the starting blocks first, "You are not authorized Head of House quarters and definitely not Founders quarters."
"Glad you spoke up there ugly now I know there is Founders quarters…" I was cut off with a "How dare you?" and a "Mr. Potter!" and a "that's Professor Umbridge Harry".
"I do dare and that's Lord Potter to you and I still request those quarters" I hissed.
"I'm sorry Harry but those quarters are restricted for an Heir or Head of House of course." Dumbeldore spoke to impress and thus ending the discussion.
"Listen you old goat I am going to tell you one more time that its Lord to you and my request stand as an Heir to a Founder and the Head of House."
"That's right Albus he is in the Gryffindor line, I'll get your quarter in Gryffindor ready immediately." McGonagall stated.
"Not even! I am not going to be subjected to those jerks especially the three lackeys of Dumbledore's …" I was of course interrupted.
"Now Harry you…" I just talked over him. "You got dung in your ears dummy I have told you that is Lord to you. I will not stand for this disrespect for the title. Professor McGonagall I will be requesting Slytherin Founders quarters or Head of House quarters in Slytherin. I raised my hand and let the Slytherin ring show. That got gasps and people sitting down. That is when Snape got in his two knuts.
"You the Head of House of Slytherin, impossible you snot rag I ought…" I cut off Snape.
"Shut you filthy sewer of a mouth grease ball or I will set fire to you unwashed hair."
"See Headmaster he is threading a teacher I demand he be expelled immediately." Snape pulled his wand but awoke in the hospital the next day after I blasted him across the room.
"So where we were oh yes expel me? Yes please as I have no wish to be here, now about those quarters?
"Well the Minister will here about this" huffed the toad.
"Well yes do report that his spy has news, but do invite his Fudgness I would like to extend my wand to his fat ass. So waddle along there toady and report."
The teachers there were speechless in fact McGonagall had both hands over her mouth but finally took charge and lead me to my quarters. Daphne followed discreetly behind us. They were not the Founders quarters but Head of House quarters but were going to be fun. We had to enter into the common room and go up the stairs to where the quarters were so every day a Gryffindor would be walking in Slytherin house.
/Scene Break/
The next morning we ambled thought the Slytherin common room and off to the Great Hall for breakfast. The stares were murderous and I couldn't wait for some of the junior Deatheaters to strike. We entered the Hall and garbage mouth spewed food around the Gryffindore table so he could say, "Hay Mate I've saved a seat for you." I must have missed something, last time he is throwing cutting curses and this morning I'm his best friend? Daphne and I proceeded to the Slytherin table which got two tables glaring murderous looks.
McGonagall called me off to the side as Snape was not out of the hospital and informed me that I had to be assessed as to where my knowledge and skills lay before the proper year for study could be assigned.
More of Dumbledore's fiddling, I just shook my head.
"By the way my wife will be accompanying me on those tests." I stated.
"And pray tell who is your wife Lord Potter and when will she arrive at Hogwarts?" asked Professor McGonagall.
Daphne stepped up next to me at that time but Professor McGonagall must not have registered the implication.
"You may run along Miss Greengrass to your next class."
"Don't work that way, where she goes I go, either we go together or not at all. After all she is my wife. That left McGonagall speechless as the information registered. She finally got control and started explaining the entire procedure. Time was passing but it seemed to drag by as the explanation was very dry and boring.
There was a group of the rumor runner from each house listening in to the action and I was sure they heard as there was a scream from the youngest red-head and a "You didn't" from Hermione. Ron being slow waited a bit to insult Daphne and got himself blasted across the room and entered into the care of Madam Pomfrey.
"Don't fight it Professor, we have Dumbdumb after us, Voldemort and the toad lady, all your junior Deatheater, the Minister and not to mention my friends as just demonstrated. Toddle off so we can finish breakfast then we will attend your testing.
Again McGonagall walked off shaking her head. A pureblood Wesley just insulted the Lady of a Lord of an Ancient and Noble House, such stupidity; he was luck to get off with a visit to Madam Pomfrey.
So the testing began.
I was trying not to laugh but it was hard. The professor kept complaining about my wand movements but was hard press to complain about the results. So teapots became gold or porcelain tea pots, animals became life size and acted like real animals. Charms were the same and DADA had to be done by Flitwick as toad woman was still out complaining over me at the ministry. I scared Spout when some of my plants did some unusual things or grew quite large. By the end of the day Snape was grading my potions and of course I failed. Daphne was laughing herself into almost not breathing.
"Taught by Nicolas Flamel and Snape says you can't brew a potion?" Daphne continued laughing.
"Well when you put it that way, laugh on my dear."
So they put me in the fifth year potion class which started another round of fun. We were serious about staying together so I never went to fifth year and accompanied Daphne to NEWT potions to the delight of Snape.
His wand work wasn't quite fast enough and ended up tied to his chair facing the corner wearing a dunce cap and a silencing charm. He never cared about the students so I started teaching the class. I was surprised how many students remained and the rumor-mill contained statements such as, "How come Snape never told us that?" Dumbbumb didn't interfere as his only choice would be to expel me and for some reason he didn't want that to happen. The next class I was ready for a fight but Snape just ignored us.
/Scene Break/
Slytherin common room:
It took the Slyterins awhile to get their courage up or make their plan which was pathetic. We come down the stairs and they throw all kinds of nasty curses at us which would have made us dead. So I was not regretful when I put up a shield that returned curses. They fell all around the common room. I was not expecting it but I should learn stupid is stupid, "Avada Kedavra" was fired at us by Darius Berrow who I hit with a 'Stupify' after erecting a marble wall. The wall exploded and when the pieces hit my shield it drove the pieces of stone back into an already bloody disaster zone.
"Let's go to the Great Hall and announce the disaster." I levitated Berrow after pocketing his wand and headed out to the hall.
Breakfast was interrupted as I entered and yelled for Amelia Bones to be floe called and to bring Aurors and medical staff. I also told Madam Pomfrey to head to the Slytherin common room to see if there were many survivors. Nobody did anything they just sat there.
"I called for Susan Bones and told her to use the hospital 'floe' and tell her Aunt that I am calling for help and medical help." Well that set off Pomfrey that no one was to use her 'floe'. Susan had already left running.
I also got a "What is the meaning of this from Dumbledork." I just ignored the idiot. I had done my duty and reported it to the teachers. So I levitated Berrow to a corner of the hall that I could defend and waited with Daphne for the eventual yelling and questions.
"You would think that they would check and not just dismiss us." There seemed to be some movement in that direction after they had discussed about whatever they were discussing. That or they were going to rescue Berrow from the two loonies. Something was not right with the teachers and their responce.
Amelia came rushing in and made a bee line to me while Dumbdumb was huffing and puffing about something. I gave her Berrow's wand with a quick explanation she did a quick prior spell charm and when the 'Avada Kedavra' came out she had Berrow carted off. The medical staff had grabbed McGonagall and had rushed to the Slytherin common room to do what they could. No one noticed the beetle buzzing around the room and then following after the medical staff.
Amelia led us to a vacant class room and called for an Auror. When the Auror entered I asked, "On reflection, did you enjoy the view from the top of the Leaky Cauldron?" I asked the pink haired girl.
"What are you talking about Harry?" Amelia asked.
"She and three others tried to capture us for Dumbdumb but she ended up on top of the Leaky Cauldron." I replied.
"Auror Tonks report to my office now and stay there until I return." Amelia was growling. "AND send in Shacklebolt." Amelia did not miss the wince that Tonks gave.
"Hi did you enjoy the view with Tonks I asked?" Amelia just short of exploded and sent him to her office to wait.
"So how many more were there and what did they look like?" Amelia growled
"I can only describe one more, crazy false eye and peg leg."
"MadEye I am going to kill you. Sorry Harry but they are not allowed to moonlight as Aurors and working for Dumbledore is a conflict of interest. So let me have your wand so I can see the spells you used."
"Err"
"Harry your going to have to tell her, I think she can keep a secret, right Amelia?" Daphne asked.
"As long as it's not breaking the law, no harm, no foul, I can keep my mouth shut."
I handed her my wand and she tried the prior spell charm, then she tried to use the wand. "What the Hell?"
"It's a dead stick I picked up and polished, I use wand-less magic."
I then conjured a tea setting with biscuits, she was impressed.
While we were completing the DMLE's requirements none of us saw what was going on in the Great Hall. Dumbdumb was now entertaining Minister Fudge and Madam Umbitch. We now had Umbitch with more power and a new squad of idiots led by the upstanding Lucius Malfoy's son Draco. The Inquisitor's Squad was being formed.