Another chapter! Enjoy!
XX
Andy woke up with her head on Sam's chest. When they had gotten into bed Sam had tried to be a perfect gentleman and kept his distance. But there was a reason why she wanted him to stay over, it was so she could fall asleep in his arms again.
After he had finally gotten the hint Sam had put his arm around Andy and linked their fingers together.
Andy looked at the man lying next to her. He really was beautiful. He probably wouldn't appreciate it if she would say that out loud though. Sam didn't like compliments and the word beautiful wasn't one that fitted him exactly. It probably wasn't manly enough for him.
He was beautiful though.
Slowly Andy moved up her body a little. She kept her gaze on Sam and smiled when she heard him snore softly. She had missed him a ridiculous amount and even though the conversation she had with Nick was still playing in her mind, she felt so content to be with him again.
Deciding that she should probably get her day started Andy slowly moved out of the bed. She moved to her bathroom and stepped into the shower. After her conversation with Nick the night before she didn't feel like showering at the station. After her talk with Sam after that she felt too drained to go shower.
Right now she could really use that shower. She washed away all the tears she had shed. She knew she had herself to blame for the situation she was in, that didn't make it any easier though.
She quickly shampooed her hair and soaped up her body. She didn't want to leave the warm and comfortable shower when she was done. So she stayed under the spray of hot water.
When she heard Sam clear his throat Andy opened the shower door. She peeked her head outside and smiled at the sight in front of her. Sam looked adorable with bed hair and only his boxers on. ''Mind if I hop in after you?'' he asked.
''You can join,'' Andy shyly said. It was ridiculous to be shy around him. This man had seen every part of her body countless of times. She had shared a few of her most intimate moments with him. Still, it felt different now. Just a few weeks before she never expected to share moments like this with him ever again.
''Sure?'' Sam asked.
A smile spread on Andy's lips as she nodded. She opened the shower door a little further and made room for Sam. As soon as he was under the water with her his mouth found hers. Her lips parted and Sam took that opportunity to slip his tongue inside her mouth.
A soft moan escaped Andy as she slipped her arms around Sam's waist. She wanted to take things slow, but with him so close to her she had a hard time remembering why she wanted that.
The situation was getting to Sam as well. The evidence of that was very obvious.
Sam was the one that broke the kiss. He nudged her nose with his and took a small step back. ''You okay?'' he wondered. ''How did you sleep?''
''Better than I have slept in a while,'' Andy admitted. ''I missed you.''
''Know the feeling,'' Sam agreed. He didn't realise just how tired he was until he was in bed with Andy. As soon as Andy was asleep he drifted off too. It had been a while since he had slept an entire night without waking up a few times.
''I was just about to get out of here,'' Andy said. ''I was in here for a while.''
Sam kissed a sensitive spot on her neck and nibbled on her skin there. ''Stay?'' he asked. ''Just for a few moments.''
Andy couldn't even move with the way Sam was roaming his hands over her body. All she could do was nod and take in all the feelings that Sam was giving her. She grabbed Sam's hair and kissed him fiercely. Both of them lost control for a moment. Their hands were all over each other while they were both fighting for dominance. ''God I missed you,'' she whispered when they broke apart again.
Sam was panting and put a hand on the shower tiles to steady himself.
A part of Andy was screaming that taking it slow could be thrown out of the window. Another part of her was screaming that she didn't want to make the same mistakes they did the first time around.
Sam probably sensed her inner debate, because he met her lips one more time in a soothing kiss. ''It's okay,'' he promised. ''I get it.''
Andy bit her bottom lip and nodded. She knew that Sam would never want to do anything that she wouldn't feel comfortable with. And she had made it clear that she wanted to take things slow, but it still felt like she was being a tease.
''Seriously,'' Sam said. ''Don't over think it, okay?'' He rubbed a hand up and down Andy's arm. ''Why don't you get dressed? I'll be out in a minute.''
XX
When Andy walked into the parade room her eyes immediately found Nick's form. He was sitting in front of the room, with his back towards her.
All the happiness she felt that morning slipped away for a moment. She knew that Nick needed some space, but all she wanted to do was shake him until he would talk to her. It had only been a day since their conversation, but she had missed her friend for weeks now.
When Frank brushed past her Andy snapped out of it and quickly sat down next to Oliver. She listened as Frank handed out assignments. She sighed when she found out that she was on desk. Nick was partnered with Chloe and Andy took that as a sign that he followed through on his words and requested a different partner.
With a sigh Andy headed towards the coffee station. She definitely needed some coffee if she was going to get through another day of desk duty.
While Andy was taking calls and going through reports she saw Sam move around the station in a hurry. He ran into Frank's office and came out only a minute after he went in.
The look on his face really concerned Andy and she quickly stood up. She followed Sam into the equipment room and frowned when she saw him putting his gun away. ''What's going on?'' she asked.
''I took the rest of the day,'' Sam absently answered. ''I need to go,'' he said without really looking at her.
''Sam?'' Andy followed him. ''What's going on.''
Sam stopped walking for a moment and rubbed a hand across his face. ''Not now okay? I'm in a hurry right now and I don't have time to explain this to you.''
A confused look crossed Andy's face. She knew that things wouldn't magically change, but she didn't expect this either. It was like Sam didn't even see her. She felt hurt and didn't even register the fact that Traci was standing next to her.
She watched as Sam took off and exited the barn. ''What's going on with him?'' Traci wondered. ''We were going over our notes. I went to get some coffee and when I came back he was gone.''
''I have no idea,'' Andy admitted. ''He wouldn't talk to me.''
Traci sensed her best friends tone and quickly squeezed her shoulder. ''I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready,'' Traci tried. ''He seems so happy since you two worked things out.''
''Well clearly not much is worked out yet,'' Andy disappointedly said. ''He can't even take a minute to tell me what's going on when something is clearly bothering him. What has changed?''
''Let's not get ahead of yourself, okay?'' Traci suggested. ''Maybe he'll be back in an hour with a perfectly good explanation. Don't jump to conclusions when you have no idea what's going on.''
Not totally convinced about that Andy shrugged her shoulders. ''We'll see,'' she said.
XX
Sam didn't explain himself an hour later. In fact, Andy didn't even see him at the station for the rest of the day. She tried calling him, but he didn't answer his phone.
Defeated she went home alone that night. She and Sam didn't exactly have plans, but she didn't think she would be going home alone either.
When she reached her condo she decided to give Sam's cell one more try. The phone rang three times before it went to voicemail. Andy knew that was probably a sign that Sam pressed the ignore button on his cell. He did that the weeks following Jerry's death too.
She felt her eyes fill with tears and she angrily threw her phone across the room. She really hated herself for believing him when he said that he would talk to her whenever something was up. A little over a week later he was already breaking his promise to her.
A few hours later Andy woke up when she heard knocks on the door. She glanced at the clock on her DVD player and realised that she fell asleep on her couch. It was two AM. Andy quickly ran her hand over her face and walked to her kitchen to splash some water on her face.
She then walked to the door and looked through the peephole. When she saw Sam on the other side of the door she sighed and shook her head. She wanted to tell him that he could go to hell. She didn't want to be the one to give up though. And maybe he really did have a good reason for leaving without a word of explanation, so she opened the door, but didn't let him in immediately.
''I'm sorry,'' were the first words out of Sam's mouth. ''I should have called sooner. Tell you what was going on while we were at the station. Will you please let me explain it to you right now?''
Andy eyed Sam. He looked sorry. He looked like crap actually. Andy decided that she wanted to know what he had to say, so she opened her door and let him in.
Sam sensed her anger so he didn't even try to give her a kiss. He just walked past her and headed towards her living room. When she joined him he was sitting on her couch with his head in his hands.
''You wanted to talk,'' Andy said, keeping her tone flat.
Sam coughed and looked up at Andy. ''I went to St. Catherine's today,'' he admitted.
''Your sister?'' Andy guessed. Sam never really talked about his sister, but Andy had remembered the story he told her three years ago when they were on their way back from Sudbury.
Sam nodded. ''You remember what I told you about her?'' he asked. He already knew the answer to that. Of course Andy had remembered the most personal thing he had shared with her. At that time they weren't even together but he had felt safe enough to let his guard down for just a moment.
''Of course,'' Andy confirmed. She felt her anger slipping away when she noticed Sam's expression. When she heard the subject he wanted to talk about she immediately knew he had a good reason to leave that day.
''She's not doing so good,'' Sam said. ''She has never really recovered from our childhood or what happened to her. She was doing better for a while, she really was. The night you came to my house with your ankle sprained I had been there for the entire day. She cut her wrists that day, tried to kill herself.''
''Sam,'' Andy whispered. She didn't know what she expected from this story, but she definitely wasn't expecting that. ''You don't have to tell me this right now.''
''I do,'' Sam disagreed. ''I promised you that I would make an effort with letting you in. I promised you that I would talk to you so here I am. I'm trying. It's not always going to be easy, but I want to try.''
A sad smile formed on Andy's lips. She gave Sam a small nod as an encouragement for him to continue.
''It wasn't the first time,'' Sam went on. He didn't look at Andy, but focused on a spot on the floor. ''She overdosed one time. She cuts herself more often, but normally not with the intend to kill herself. Thank God her neighbor always checks in on her, if it wasn't for her she would be gone.''
''She needed you today?'' Andy guessed.
Sam nodded and took a deep breath. ''After that day she finally agreed to get some more drastic help. I took her to a clinic where she gets therapy. It's a new form of therapy that can be effective for traumatised people.''
''Does she benefit from it?'' Andy wondered.
''Too soon to tell,'' Sam answered. He ran his hand across his face and took in a deep breath. ''She did have some sort of break through though. I don't see how it is a break through considering the fact that she spent the entire day crying hysterically, but apparently it's part of the healing process.''
Andy swallowed. She wasn't used to seeing Sam so vulnerable. ''Did she call you? Ask you to come?''
''No,'' Sam answered. ''She never wants me to come whenever she is going through something. She always feels like a burden even though I've told her over and over again that it's my job. I just can't seem to get through to her.''
''I'm sure you did everything you could,'' Andy promised. ''I can't even imagine how hard it must be for both of you.''
''She's a mess,'' Sam admitted. ''I always thought that maybe one day she would get better. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe this will always be her.''
There were no words that would take away Sam's pain. Andy knew that and she didn't want to burden him with stupid cliché's. She wanted to do something though. She wanted to help. ''It will always be a part of her. That doesn't mean it will never get better.'' Andy stood up and sat down next to Sam. She put her arms around him and waited until he accepted her hug.
It took him a second but eventually Sam returned the gesture. He gripped her a little tighter than she was used to, but Andy didn't care. She wanted to help anyway she could. She wanted to lift some of the weight that he was carrying around.
''I'm sorry for doubting you,'' Andy whispered. She had convinced herself that this was it again. Right now she felt so guilty about that.
''I never told you anything. You couldn't have known,'' Sam comforted her.
Andy squeezed his hand and smiled sadly. ''I know now. I'm glad you told me this.''
''You asked me why I used to run off some mornings. She is the reason,'' Sam explained. ''I sometimes drive to St. Catherine's before work. Sometimes just to be there for 10 minutes before I go to work. See how she's holding up. If she needs anything.''
''Sam,'' Andy said. ''That's like a two hour drive?''
Sam shook his head. ''No I can do it a lot quicker. Especially early in the morning. No traffic or anything. I'm usually there within an hour. Besides, it's worth it. She is the only family I have. She needs me.''
''I get that,'' Andy promised. ''I really do, but you have to think about yourself too. You are no help to Sarah if you are running around on three hours of sleep.''
''That's nothing I can't handle.'' Sam brushed Andy's hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. ''I really am sorry that I left you standing like that this morning. Just two weeks in and I'm already breaking my promises again.''
''It's okay.'' Andy gripped Sam's hand and laced their fingers together. ''I can understand that you had other things on your mind. And you told me now, that's headway, right?''
Sam smiled and lifted their linked hands to press a kiss to Andy's. ''I guess it is.'' He looked at her for a moment and then stood up. ''I should go home. Let you get back to your sleep.''
''Why don't you just stay?'' Andy wondered. ''Unless you want to go home. You don't have to stay for me, but I like having you here.''
''Sure?'' Sam asked. ''I don't mind heading back.'' Truth was that Sam was exhausted and secretly hoped that Andy would let him stay the night. He didn't want to be presumptuous though. He didn't want Andy to feel pressured to let him stay. He knew she let him stay the night before because she was upset.
''Stay,'' Andy told him. ''You look tired. Besides, we both have tomorrow off. We'll sleep in and I'll make you breakfast.''
''Okay.'' Sam took Andy's hand and pulled her up too. Together they walked towards her bedroom. They were both too exhausted to even brush their teeth. So when they were out of their clothes they crawled into bed and cuddled up together.
It wasn't long before sleep overtook both of them.
XX
A/N: Short chapter, I know!
The next chapter will be longer again.
Let me know what you think! Reviews are highly appreciated.