That's why I'm here Chapter 3, a nashville fanfic

NOT MINE... THE SONGS IN HERE OUR FREE BY FAITH HILL AND DO YOU REMEMBER BY BLAKE SHELTON... I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO GAVE ME SONG SUGGESTIONS... I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK NATBENSON FOR HELPING ME GET THROUGH THIS CHAPTER ESPECIALLY THE ENDING

How is it possible that walking away from him broke my heart more than breaking up with him? While everyone in my band seems to be having good times and enjoying life I feel like mines stopped. They tried to cheer me up at first but soon they realized that it was futile, so they just left me be. I never thought I would regret anything more than breaking up with Deacon but I was wrong, walking away from him the second time was a lot worse. Every time I close my eyes I see the look on his face when I turned and walked away from him and because of that now I am an insomniac and if that wasn't bad enough Deacon just had to show up to the fundraiser concert a few weeks ago.

Seeing him again even though we hadn't talked to one another made the pain in my heart that I was feeling worse than it was before. Not to mention the song I had sung didn't help matters because it held so much truth in the lyrics about movies they make it seem that falling in love is painless but in actuality it is gut wrenchingly painful because you are not being told what would be a good line to say, what the right move to make and, your fate isn't already planned out to the last detail.

I remember the first time I had sung at the Bluebird which happens to be the first time I had sung in front of an audience. For the entire week leading up to my debut performance I was pretty sure I was going to be sick. I couldn't get the fact that so many famous country artist got their start there out of my head. This was my chance to make the dream I have had since I was a little girl come true, my chance to be a country singer. When the day of my debut arrived I just wanted to stay home and hide from the world and I would have if it hadn't been for Deacon. When he got to my house he literally had to drag me out of my house and put me in his car so we could leave.

When we pulled up to the Bluebird he had turned to me and told me that everyone gets nervous but extraordinary people overcame those nerves they felt and that I had an amazing voice and that I deserved this chance to shine and show people that I can do this. That was one thing I have always liked about Deacon he always knew what to say to help me calm down when I'm panicked. Also he was the only friend I had and the only one who didn't treat me like a spoiled princess.

After our conversation we had gone inside to watch the other performances before it was our turn to get up there. All to soon they announced mine and Deacon's name to get up on stage, I felt like either running away or passing out at that moment. When I was on stage I started to address the crowd, " Hey y'all, well I just wrote this new song and my friend over here thought I should perform it for y'all. So if this goes bad y'all can blame him." As soon as the music started playing all my nervous energy seemed to have melted away and I couldn't even remember why I was nervous in the first place.

"I had it tough when I was just a little kid It didn't matter what I thought It didn't matter what I did I felt the doubt for what I lacked right from the start It did a number on my head It could never touch my heart
'Cause I had just enough imagination Just enough to keep the faith That somehow I would think of what to do When I'd get lost in a momentary weakness of emotion All the angels came around to help me through
Life blows fast changes, wind blows past pages All I see is I don't need this High strung tightrope walk, ticking time bomb clock Scratch my name off, cut these chains
I'm free, kickin' out of that prison, I am free Singin' those words of wisdom, let it be Nobodys gonna put the blues inside of me
And in the stress to be the best I've done it all I've slammed the doors, I've jammed the locks I've laid the bricks, I've built the walls No one could tell me back then why joy eluded me Kept bumping into that misery Locked up deep down inside of me
Took that rage and I, turned that page and I Packed my tools, went back to school, yeah And I passed my graduation, and I hold my Ph.d In crash test blues I paid those dues
I'm free, kickin' out of that prison, I am free Singin' those words of wisdom, let it be Nobody's gonna put the blues inside of me, yeah
Time flies by in photographs And paper scraps and songs Here I stand in ruby slippers Three taps takes me home
Yeah, I'm free I'm free
I'm free, kickin' out of that prison, I am free Singin' those words of wisdom, let it be Nobody's gonna put the blues inside of me, Ohh yeah
I'm free I'm free I'm free Yeah, I'm free
Time flies by in photographs And paper scraps and songs Here I stand in ruby slippers Three taps takes me home
Yeah, I'm free Yeah, I'm free I'm free Ohh yeah I'm free Free"

When I had finished I noticed that everyone was standing for a standing ovation, it was one of the best moments in my life. "Thank y'all for letting me share this song with y'all tonight", I said before I walked off stage to go sit down. Not even five minutes later Mr. Watty White came over and told me and Deacon that we had potential to be something big in country music and that he would love to record us sometime. For awhile that was one of our best days in our entire life.

Without Deacon I never would have here he's the one who made it possible for me to get up on that stage and sing. I would have ran away had he had not haven been there to tell me that I could do this and no one deserves this more than me. Why couldn't things have stayed as they were back then? Why did he have to become an alcoholic and ruin everything? Why did I have to fall in love with him? I ask these questions everyday since I walked away from him and probably ruined any chance we had at getting back together. I was about to get up and go to sleep when a song came on the radio that stopped me in my tracks, Blake Shelton's Do You Remember.

Where are you now?
Who's holdin' you now?
When your world stands still, do you remember?
Leave were fallin'
We were fallin'
Almost like a dream, do you remember?

Seasons changed
We both changed
Sometimes I

go back to when

We ran, put our feet in the water
We danced, didn't care who could see
We sang every song to each other
Summer would end, but not for me
I still feel the hope in your kisses
I still feel the sun on your skin
I swear I was holdin' forever back then
Do you remember?

Where I am now
Is where I should be now
You're so far away, but always with me

And it seems like
Another life
Whenever I go back to when

We ran, we kissed, we learned to love, to live

By the end of the song I was crying so hard I couldn't see anything it was almost like that song was made for us. It held so much truth about what is going in our relationship especially the line you're so far away but always with me. No matter how many miles that get between us he always happens to be with me in memories. I get up and go to my room when I notice the song book that holds all the songs that me and deacon have written together laying on my bed. I haven't used that book since we broke up because it held too many memories and I was pretty sure I had thrown it away. But there it was and for some reason I went over to it picked it up and flipped through it in the first time in years. When I was going through it I noticed a picture fall out so I bent down and picked it up. The picture was of me and deacon when we were still so in love that you could even see that through the picture itself. Seeing that picture made my heartache and I realized that no matter what I do or how far I travel I will never stop loving deacon. We have caused each other so much heartache and pain but even with that I know I can no longer live without him.