Author/s: Skitts (who is dancing like a Scootish person) and Lamatikah (who owns a hat. And is very proud of her hat… otherwise known as R-Chan – we're not sure whether she's talking about the hat or herself…) –sixty-seven fingered salute-
Summary: They were never a perfect family, but they always tried. Even if trying wasn't good enough… AkuRoku .:RikuxSoraxKairi:.
Disclaimer: PHYCHE!
Full Circle
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--Chapter 5—
x-Invitation to Hell-x
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"Sora?" a creased up voice crackled down the telephone wires separating him and his cousin. Sora sighed. Roxas seemed to be getting along a little too well with Kairi. And it upset Sora, even though he could just as well play video games with Riku, but it wasn't the same as being able to kiss him whenever he felt like it… because that would just be silly. Because, like mummy said: Boys who like boys are silly.
That's why she didn't like Sora's other cousin.
"Yes?"
"Sora, can you tell me where Kairi lives please… or her phone number…? Hercules killed the house, and I need somewhere to stay, and since you're house is out of the option and all the hotels here are crap… well, Kairi was my only other option…" Sora saw reason in this. And it helped him seek a new light in his cousin.
"Sure! It's 13 Papou Drive. That help?″ Sora asked. Roxas nodded and quickly mumbled 'yeah, thanks' before Sora thought he was giving him the 'cold shoulder' because Sora was sensitive like that.
Sora put the phone back down on its hook. He turned round. And then turned back round to the phone.
He had a devillish plan up his sleeve.
But first: Pizza!
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Roxas knocked on Kairi's door, lingering on the doorstep, he wasn't sure if he was worthy of the almighty doorstep belonging to Kairi and whoever else she lived with. Her family was obviously a lot better than his, because she acted normal, perhaps a little boffy, but still normal. And Roxas acted emo. And according to this day and age, emos should be shunned! SHUNNED I TELLS YA!
The door creaked open, and Roxas blushed as Kairi appeared with just a towel on. She looked down to see who was there, and on seeing Roxas gave a short squeak before trying to cover herself up a bit more. She held out one finger, meaning, 'one minute'.
Roxas lingered on the doorstep some more, waiting for the girl to come out, ready. Not with just a towel on. Why did people do that anyway?
'Cuz, if anyone came to the door, and you just had a towel on, would you only squeal if it was your friend, who happened to be a boy.
After a while, Kairi came back down with some jeans on, and a back to front shirt. She beckoned Roxas inside and up the stairs.
"Kai? Kairi?! Who's there?" Kairi looked down, and tried to look through into the living room, maybe she'd see this mysterious shouter.
"It's Roxie! Is that okay?" A short 'eh' was heard from the living room before a red-headed man came out, his hair in a pony tail and some goggles attached to his forehead.
"As long as he won't throw any deadly soap at choo, I'm fine!" Kairi smiled.
"Okay, dad!" she hollered back as the man retreated into the living room yet again.
Kairi led Roxas to her room, it was small, but pretty, it contained a TV, a computer, a bed and a wardrobe. Multi-coloured streaks patterned the otherwise blank walls, as Kairi ushered Roxas onto her bed to sit.
"Roxie, what's up?" she asked, carefully pressing the bandage on her forehead and rubbing it slightly. Roxas smiled. He remembered the first time he'd seen her.
Screaming in agony on the floor, screeching about evil things like Wakka's and DJ Cid's and EVIL SOAP!
"Well… my dad… he sort of like… flooded the house… and we either move out, to somewhere else in Destiny Islands, or we renovate it… whichever is cheaper. And so, like, tonight, I don't have anywhere to stay… and I was kinda… well… I was kinda hoping I could stay at your house, because I haven't really made any other friends at school yet…" Kairi giggled and bashed him on the arm softly.
"'Course, I'll just ask Reno…" she told him, as she skipped to her bedroom door, "DAD! ROXIE DOESN'T HAVE ANYWHERE TO STAY TONIGHT, SO CAN HE STAY HERE?!" she hollered. Roxas could hear a faint cry come from downstairs, "THANK YOU, DADDY!!" Kairi shouted back.
Roxas sat nervously, perched on the end of Kairi's bed.
Kairi turned towards him, and sat back down next to him, "He says you can, as long as you don't sleep in the same bed as me. But, I'm sure you figured that out ages ago!" she laughed. Roxas 'heh'ed but did nothing more; he was so damn tired, after asking Sora where Kairi lived, Roxas realised that he'd have to actually find Papou Drive… And that took a good of half hour of asking ladies where it was, and about two hours of actual walking. "So… Roxas… do you actually have anything to change into or… whatever?" asked Kairi, out of mere wonder.
"No… When Hercules killed the house, he killed the stuff too. And the insurance company says we're on our last loan."
Kairi curved her mouth into an 'o' shape and flipped over onto her tummy. Her wet hair dripped in puddles onto her bluey-gray bed. She sighed, and flipped over again. "You know what, I'm gonna go and get the spare bed… Be back in a second, Roxie!" Roxas laughed, Kairi was already calling him 'Roxie'. Only Selphie… and Meg… and Rikku on occasions called him 'Roxie'. Although, now all the people who called him 'Roxie' were hated by Roxas now, Roxas knew that he didn't hate Kairi. Not. At. All.
Soon enough, Kairi came back with a mattress like … thing. She laid it on the floor next to her bed.
"Well… at least I'll have something soft to land on if I fall off…" Kairi muttered. She seemed a little depressed for some reason. Roxas raised his head slightly. He wondered what she was talking about. Or, maybe he didn't want to know.
She smiled as she came back in the room with a blanket and a pillow. Roxas smiled back, a little sheepishly.
"That up to your standards, Roxie?" Roxas laughed.
"If only you knew what 'my standards' are! I think dad's running out there looking for the fly-away tents now. Either that, or he's in a cardboard box/trash can at the moment!" Kairi laughed.
She stared out of the window and laughed in wonderment. A crazy guy seemed to be chasing after a tent blowing away in the wind, "Heh… What a jerk…" she mumbled. Roxas leaned over her shoulder to see what she was talking about. He couldn't help but laugh when he saw that random crazy guy ru- wait… that was Hercules… Better not tell Kairi about this… "Wonder who he is…"
"Yeah…" shifty-eyed Roxas, "Yeah… so do I…"
Kairi giggled before closing her curtains, "Hey, I know what we can do!" Roxas blinked. Kairi whirled round him towards her wardrobe.
This brought memories back… Oh memories… Oh horrible memories…
"Hey I know what we can do!" Roxas blinked. Selphie grinned, and walked round towards the wardrobe.
Roxas shuddered.
Kairi pulled out a couple of drawers from the bottom of her wardrobe. Roxas hoped to God that they didn't contain any yellow sundresses, or hair curlers… or anything like that. Of course, the eye shadow hadn't been that bad – it brought out his beautiful big blue eyes, according to Selphie. And, according to Zidane, it made him look like a common tart. But that didn't stop him being flirtatious before he found out that he was actually Roxas, in disguise…
Kairi placed the drawers on the mattress and showed the contents to Roxas. He gazed at the colourful inside.
"Truth or Dare…" he muttered, almost inaudibly. Kairi nodded, wistfully. The most hated game, and yet, still the most popular. Well, apart from spin the bottle… Although, when he played spin the bottle back home with Selphie and a few other assorted people they forced into it at broken-glass-bottle-point, if you refused to kiss the person it landed on you'd yet again be forced into it at broken-glass-bottle-point, and more often than not whacked over the head with a broken glass bottle. It was all Selphie's work. It was all that conniving little girl's fault that Zidane's brain cells were constantly trickling out of his ears ever since that fateful day when he refused to kiss Roxas.
"You ready, Roxie?" she asked, a malevolent spark in her eyes. Roxas gulped, and nodded. Hopefully Kairi wasn't into the whole 'bash people over the heads with broken glass bottles' hullabalooza. Although they were not playing 'spin the bottle', but she could always force him to complete a dare with a broken glass bottle if occasion called for it. Hopefully it never would. She grinned. "Okay, take out the red cards and arrange them on this board…" she explained, pulling out a board from another drawer. She carried on explaining until everything was set up.
Roxas sat cross-legged, waiting for Kairi to tell him when to hold his breath. Whoever could hold their breath the longest got to start first. It was not the wisest course of action though, as on the news there had been a steady increase of reports about stupid people knocking themselves unconscious as they were so determined to win. Yes, they won a pounding headache, a free trip to lovely island resort called 'le hospitalle' and a five minute segment about they silly they were on the local news. Actually, that was a pretty sweet deal.
On the count of Kairi's neat little bell you could ring when playing 'The Yes/No' game, Roxas started to hold his breath. Kairi tried. She really did. But he just looked so funny. She burst out laughing before Roxas had even begun to lose breath. Roxas snorted.
"Me first!" he cried, raising his fist to punch the air. Kairi smiled, and shifted her eyes around nervously. "Okay, Kai, truth or dare?" Kairi pondered for a moment before choosing 'dare'. She took a card from the pile and read it, laughing slightly as she did so, "Kai? Kairiii… what does it sayyy?" he asked, desperately trying to see what the card said.
Kairi giggled, before reaching back over to her wardrobe, and grabbing a bra, shoving it on top of her shirt, "I'M WONDERWOMAN, SEE! MY UNDERWEAR IS OVER MY CLOTHING!!"
"…"
Meanwhile, downstairs, in the lingerie… wait… I do believe I have my French wrong…
Reno sat on his sofa and pulled out another beer, watching as some guy ninja-karate chopped a weird bat-like creature with 'wings like a shield of steel'. He pondered for a moment over his daughter's outrageous statement.
"Oh well, I'm sure they're being decent, and besides; boys will be boys… and all that lark…" Reno pondered a moment on his own statement; did he just refer to his daughter as a boy?
Back upstairs… ala bedroom (but of course –strokes French moustache-)
Kairi laughed as Roxas just stared. She pulled him back over to the game, and sat him down. "Your go, Roxie, truth or dare?" Roxas's fingers lingered over truth, before switching back to the dare pile. After about five minutes of this, his hands rested on truth and he told Kairi to pick up a card, "Well, Roxie, my darling little rock, it's asking me to ask you: Are you gay?" Roxas blinked for a moment.
Sorry for this slight pause of the jovialities for a moment, but my beret has gone askew –straightens hat- That's better, UP AND ATOM!
"No." He said, pouting slightly.
"Are you sure you're not in denial?"
"No."
UP AND AT THEM! Oh sorry… This situation does not require a page break of these sorts…
"Okay, if you're sure!" Kairi jumped up and skipped round to sit in Roxas's lap, it was as though she knew deep down that he was really gay (and this would be news to Roxas) and she was just taunting him. She was a girl and was using 'feminine wiles and feminine instincts' and could just tell who was gay or not. Like The Barney-saur.
"I chose truth!" cried Kairi, as Roxas picked up a truth card. Kairi of course didn't have to have Roxas read it for her, as it was already straight in front of her, "Oh that one's easy, you!" she cried, prodding his nose. Roxas smiled, limply.
"Okay, I guess I chose dare then… Kairi, go and sit over there, I'm not having you read my dare…" Kairi stuck out her bottom lip, but did as she was told and sat opposite Roxas.
"That's mean, Roxie, why can't I read your dare? I'd find out eventually, wouldn't I? Because I'd see you do it, and that's the same as just reading it from a little piece of card you read it from, but you're just being me-"
Kairi was cut off by a pair of lips invading hers. She squirmed for a minute, before realising what had happened; Roxas had been dared to kiss someone, and the closest person had just happened to be Kairi, and Kairi, being his only friend, seemed the perfect subject to practice this dare on.
Roxas pulled back, and threw his card on the pile, "Well, I'm sure worn out. I think I'll go to sleep now, g'night…" Kairi stared blankly ahead.
"G'night…" she repeated.
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Sora wanted to put this master plan into action right now, there and then, but the only minor drawback of his hastiness was that it was about two a.m. And nobody was awake at 2 a.m. apart from Chinese people, vampires and him and Riku.
"Sora, I don't get why you care so much," said Riku in a lazy tone of voice, tracing patterns in his duvet. "I mean, it's not like she's pretty or special or popular or anything… You deserve someone better, like one of the girls on the cheerleader squad…" Or me, for example. He only tacked the last part on in his mind, however, for he didn't want Sora to laugh at him mistaking it for a joke or to scream in disgust and upend the bowl of popcorn on his head.
The brunet scowled and punched the colourful duvet, making their bowl of 'nibbles' jump up in alarm. Riku was just so damned shallow – didn't he see that he didn't care whether Kairi was Miss Popularity or King Billy No-Mates (both were titles to be proud of, he was sure).
"You can't label Kairi. She doesn't fall into any group, she's unique, and I like her for that."
"Psh. Of course you can label Kairi – you can label anybody. And I say that Kairi falls into the category of geek. Everybody says Kairi's a geek. She's dragging down your reputation and Blitzball players just don't gel with Science Nerds. Maybe you should just let her go… It was a sweet childhood crush in Kindergarten and you'd steal her crayons and dolls to make her pay attention to you. She paid attention to you for two years; you've been going out ages. I think it's time for a change, don't you? I mean, you and Kairi are like old news. Get somebody else better; it's your big chance to climb higher up the ladder of popularity!"
"God!" cried Sora, throwing his arms up in the air in exasperation. "I'm already fucking popular, Riku, I don't care about gaining a few more fans in the cheerleader squad if I go out with one of them. They're all blonde brainless bimbos and they don't have two IQ points between all seven of them. I like Kairi because I can have intelligent conversation with her and what she says makes sense – her interests span out far beyond lip-gloss and shampoo."
Riku pulled a rather scandalized look and patted his sleek silver locks like a mother pats a baby. Sora didn't mean what he'd said. Shampoo did have its merits and wasn't completely useless.
"So, anyway, I've got this plan to win her back. And it'll humiliate my 'lovely' cousin in the process. But I can't get the plan working without your help."
Riku didn't want to help Sora with his scheming and plotting to help win back the heart of his lady love. He didn't want to, but he'd have to, wouldn't he, if he still wanted Sora to be his friend.
"Come on Riku, friends help each other out!"
"I know, but if Kairi's moved on I think you should let her go, give her some room-"
"Riku, that is the stupidest I've ever heard. Ever. Even more stupid that than Kellogg's frosties advert and that was pretty ridiculous too."
But I don't want you to go out with Kairi !
"But Sora, I'm just looking out of the good of both of you! Where would you be if you asked Kairi if she wanted to go out with you and she flat-out said no? It would spread around the school like wild-fire and your reputation-"
"Would plummet. So that's why I need you."
"But…"
And then Sora did his puppy-dog eyes.
And then all of Riku's stubborn resolve collapsed like an unset jelly and he caved in.
"Okay."
"Yay!" squealed Sora like a little kid, giving his silver-haired companion a huge hug, that squeezed the poor boy's lungs together and popped his heart in one metaphoric, painful motion. Riku knew Sora distributed hugs like a muffin man distributes muffins, and it never meant anything unless the person in his arms was a certain red-headed girl. He only gave hugs to people because everybody found him irresistible and once hugged they melted in his arms and were sort of forced to do his bidding, in the hopes of being paid by more of his famous hugs. Riku didn't like being shamelessly used like this, as if he were an expendable character in some cheap play that was only there for the gains of everyone else and had no real role at all. He wanted to feel important to somebody, and not just because they needed him for some giant elaborate plot involving a llama, a sandwich and a HULASKIRT.
"So what do I have to do?"
"Nothing, mon good chappy-chap!" said Sora, flying out of his bad mood like a helium-ated balloon flies out of the clutches of a small, weepy-eyed child.
It had never occurred to Riku just how conniving Sora could be when he wanted to. Behind those beautiful blue eyes was a mind that liked screwing around with other people's brains and then leaving them stranded in deserts with vultures and tumbleweed.
"So what do you need me for?"
"You know your dad owns the town hall?"
"Yeah…"
"Could I rent it out? For the weekend?"
"Sure."
"Yay! Happy times! Happy times! Champagne, champagne for everyone!" squealed Sora happily, bouncing around on Riku's bed like a little kid.
"Sora, we have no champagne."
"POPCORN! POPCORN FOR EVERYONE!" Sora quickly corrected himself, diving off Riku's warm comfy bed and into the waiting clutches of the mattress on the floor, in all its glory.
Riku provided only the best for his friends.
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If Riku could choose the sound to wake up to early in the morning, it probably wouldn't have been his brunet companion screaming : "WAKE UP MR. POTATO-HEAD!" at the top of his lungs.
But if Riku could have chosen the sight he would most liked to have woken up to see early in the morning, Sora ranked high up there on the list, along with Wakka attached to the blades of the rotating fan on his ceiling. It was every teen's dream, and no matter how much they denied it they could not escape the fact there is no such thing as a Wakka fan-girl.
"Wha- Argh… Sora… gerrofmee…"
The brunet ignored him, grinning wildly like a Cheshire cat.
"DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS TODAY, MR. WAFFLES?!"
"World War III?"
"NOOOOOOOO! GUESS AGAIN!"
"The day you ditch Kairi and realise that I am actually perfect for you in every way…" Riku muttered under his breath in a mad torrent of words, so soft that he knew Sora would never be able to hear him. Not with the all the din he was causing.
"I have no idea what you just said but … ah … Close enough… UP AND AT THEM! THAT'S WHAT I ALWAYS SAY!" screamed the boy, criminally hyper for so early in the morning. And he had actually managed to dress himself even though the clock said it was 6 a.m. and he seemed whacked out on happy pills at the moment, which was a great accomplishment.
"Sora… I wanna go back to sleep," hissed Riku in his dangerous 'I-know-where-the-knives-are-in-this-house' style. It was six a.m and they had be up and ready for school in two hours. They had two more bloody hours! TWO! Why couldn't the hyper gremlin who was dancing around his room understand that? Why couldn't he leave Riku in peace? "Why are you up, anyway?"
"CAUSE WE'VE GOTTA PUT PART TWO OF MY EVIL AND MYSTERIOUS PLAN INTO GEAR! UP! UP! UP! UP AND AT THEM, RIKU!"
With each 'up' he whacked Riku on the head with his fist, a hollow sound ringing through the boy's room each time the fist made contact with skin.
"Alright… Alright… Awwwirghtttt..." he growled, sitting up in the traditional 'I've-just-dreamt-I've-been-chased-by-a-bin/Dalek/metal rhino' fashion, a.k.a, shooting straight up out of bed and tipping Sora off his chest to his horrible doom.
Roughly five minutes later…
Riku and Sora, fully dressed and washed and breakfasted (they had stolen several items from Riku's overflowing fruit bowl and stuffed them in their pockets) could be found making their way down the high street. Many of the stores were still closed with the metal grilles down so nobody could get in and burgle things or get out and tell people they'd been locked in the store all night. Dawn spread out across the sky in deep pinks and yellows as the egg-yolk sun continued its long path to its rightful throne in the centre of the sky, making everything look faintly eerie.
"Sora, everything's closed. We cannot just throw bricks at the glass windows of the stores, jump in and then steal the equipment necessary to get your grand plan in gear."
"We can and we will," Sora hissed through his teeth, the effects of early-morning hyperness slowly wearing off to reveal quite a normal little Blitzball playing boy underneath the surface.
Their trek to God-only-knows-where (and even God probably didn't understand the working of young Sora's mind) eventually ended up with both of stood outside one of the those cheap, tacky little open 24-hours-a-day stores, tucked in between a filthy alleyway complete with it's own trash can and a … pornography store…
"Sora, does your plan involve pornography?" asked Riku, his voice sounding ever-so-slightly nervous, as he tugged at his collar. He didn't want to be one pretending he was twenty and called Sephiroth just to purchase illegal pictures, no matter how much like the criminal he looked.
"Don't be stupid," said Sora, poking Riku playfully in the side, as good friends do. "I need to photocopy some things…"
"What?"
Sora pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and winked at Riku conspiratorially, before entering the store (the open 24-hours-a-day store, not the porno one).
As Sora and Riku sidled into the grotty shop, a little bell tinkled above their heads and a great big, cheesy smile greeted them. Sora grinned back.
"Hello, I was wondering: Could I please photocopy this please?" he asked, showing the guy behind the counter a piece of paper marked 'PLAN A' in big bold writing at the top and some invitation-like notices beneath. Riku shuffled up behind Sora, a little tentatively as though something would bite him if he got too close.
The guy behind the counter looked at Sora, then at the piece of paper, then at Riku, then at Sora, and then back at Riku.
"Hey! Aren't you the mayor's kid?" Riku nodded, a little sheepishly. He didn't want to be known as 'Generic Mayor's kid #1' even though he had no siblings to compare with. So, really he would not be known as 'Generic Mayor's kid #1' but just simply 'Generic Mayor's son'.
"So, yeah, he's the mayor's kid, so can we get them photocopied for free, please?" asked Sora, as though he knew what had been about to happen. Riku grunted, he didn't like being used like this, but if it made Sora happy, then it made Sora happy. And when Sora was happy, Riku was usually sad. But that wasn't the point.
The guy behind the counter simply shrugged and took the paper from Sora, "So, how many do you want?" he asked, nosily reading what was printed to the paper. Sora pondered for a moment before turning round to ask Riku how many people he wanted to come. Riku merely shrugged, but by then Sora had already noticed something else.
He walked over to the window. And his eyes narrowed. "Damn you, Roxas…" he muttered as he watched the boy limp down the street, looking almost half-dead.
Kairi jogged along side the boy, "Hey, Roxie, I just love these early morning jogs, me and Sora used to do them all the time, but then Riku would take Sora and like make him sleep, or something… But, now I've got you, so we can do these lovely runs, don't you just love them?!" Roxas attempted to nod, but it wouldn't, because it would be a shameless lie. And more to the point, he had lost the energy.
"That's my run, bitch…" mumbled Sora, before turning back round to the guy behind the counter. He slapped a bright smile on his face, "I'll take seventy, thank you!"
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"Hello, Kairi," Sora smiled brightly, as he shoved Roxas out of the way with his behind and plonked himself down in the blond's previous seating place. "You don't mind if I sit here, do you?" he asked as an added after thought. As only a low string of growling met his ears, courtesy of his good cousin, he smirked and leant against the back of his seat. "Nope. Didn't think so."
"Hi, Sora," smiled Kairi blandly, looking around the assembly hall as more and more students trouped in. She wondered vaguely who would be taking assembly today, or even if they would have one at all, but still led them into the room like cattle to pasture in fear of breaking 'tradition', thus messing with their young minds. If anything out of the ordinary happened then riots may happen.
"God, I haven't spoke to you in aggeesss," said the boy, putting stress on the word 'aggeesss', and staring pointedly at Roxas, who was glowering at him.
"I know. Heh, but life's been pretty hectic."
"Yeah, well, I thought it would be nice if we could, you know, catch up on good times? I miss it when it was just us and we would go running…" Cause now you do it with Roxas. I decide to spend a little more time with Riku due to Blitzball practise and then you turn traitor on me and start to go out with my weird cousin behind my back. "So, uh, if you wanted to come I'm not, like, y'know, forcing you or anything, but it would be nice if we could talk properly again…"
Sora smiled, a genuinely sugar-sweet smile that would have melted even the stoniest of hearts, as he handed Kairi a party invitation from his schoolbag.
The girl accepted it, and read through it quickly, a small smile breaking out across her face like a case of acne. But acne has a nasty habit of making you look ugly, and Kairi's smiles made her face look anything but.
"Of course! I'd love to go! What's the occasion?"
"Who needs an occasion to hold a party?"
Kairi giggled.
"But, er, can Roxie come too?"
Bingo.
A demonic grin spread across Sora's features, and Kairi tilted her head like a little robin and shot him a rather '?' like look. Not that her entire face took on the space of a question mark, but he could see those little symbols dancing around in her eyes, questioning his scary smile, so he quickly flipped his expression over to 'normal'.
"Do you want to come, Roxas?" he asked, another one of his invitations in his hand.
"What's the catch?"
"No catch. I'm allowed to spend time with my favourite cousin, aren't I?"
"I thought Oogie Boogie was your favourite cousin because he taught you how to play blackjack and gave you an ant farm for Christmas."
Sora waved Roxas's rather truthful words aside and grinned. "Yeah, but you're my only cousin who's ever stuck my head down a toilet."
Kairi giggled.
Roxas quirked an eyebrow, but said no more on the subject.
Sora was plotting something, he knew that much, but going to a part might be fun, it might win him some new friends, and Kairi was currently attempting to guilt-trip him into going with her with giant puppy-dog eyes. Kairi's opinion mattered more than anybody's at the moment, and if going would make her happy then it was full steam ahead, as far as Roxas was concerned. He didn't want to hurt the feelings of his only friend.
"Sure, I'll go…"
Inside, inner Sora laughed manically and did the conga.
●◦●----------------------Oo
Meanwhile, Hercules blinked, signifying that this is, in fact, the end of this chapter.
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A/N: PSYCHE!