Author/s: Skitts and Lamatikah –five toed salute-
Summary: They were never a perfect family, but they always tried. Even if trying wasn't good enough… [AkuRoku .:RikuxSoraxKairi:.
Disclaimer: LOL.
Full Circle
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--Chapter 8—
x-Hev-x
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Axel sat on the edge of his bed, Rikku sitting lopsidedly in his lap. He ruffled her hair, as she drifted off to sleep yet again. Roxas just peered on with mild amusement, and as he looked on, a little jealousy.
Why couldn't he be the one sitting in Axel's lap?
Wait...
He didn't mean it...
He just carried on looking at his adopted sister with mild amusement painted on his little face.
"So, Roxas, how come you live with Rikku?" Axel asked, leaving Rikku this time as she slept. Roxas gulped. How was he supposed to answer this one? He could... TELL THE TRUTH!
"Well, actually, she's my adopted sister..." Roxas mumbled, realising what he was doing half way through and covering his words with his hand a little.
There was a slight pause in their conversation as Rikku started mumbling in her sleep, "Roxas... want the last cookie... give back to me..."
Then Axel snorted.
And Roxas flinched.
And Rikku groaned in her sleep, muttering something about 'damned cookie jars'.
"She's... adopted?" he asked, watching Roxas carefully, then turning to Rikku who seemed to be screaming/whispering something to Naminé about standing on beckoning greenhouses.
Roxas nodded, slowly, wishing he hadn't told Axel now. Rikku would become unpopular and he didn't want that. He wanted Rikku to be popular because she was... popular, and popular people deserve to be popular.
Axel looked back down at Rikku, and pouted.
"But she's too sweet..." he muttered, wrapping a piece of her hair round his finger and spinning it a little. Roxas sighed, and turned away.
"I'm sorry..." he said, his breathing jarring a bit. He didn't want to have just ruined Rikku's life. Or Axel's, since he seemed to deep in twisting her hair round and round.
"Why are you sorry?" asked Axel absentmindedly.
Roxas turned back round, "Because I'm a loser, and if Rikku's my adopted sister, then she's going to be known as a loser too..." Axel slid Rikku off his lap and clambered down to face Roxas. Roxas could feel his warm breath heat his face, and Axel's piercing green eyes softened at the sight of him.
"Who said you were a loser, Roxas?" asked Axel, a look of wonder upon his face.
"How many friends have you seen around me...? I've only got Kairi... and that's about it... and even though she's great, I know she's a loser too..." muttered Roxas, looking away, not wanting the green eyes to singe a hole through his skin.
"What do you mean? Isn't Rikku your friend? And... Sor- Okay... maybe not Sora... But what about... About... About me?" asked Axel, pointing at himself. Roxas could have died.
"...Y-You?" he stammered, his eyelashes flashing as he turned back towards Axel. Axel grinned.
"Yeah, me. Can't I be your friend? I'm only a year older! I remember Yuffie had friends who were about ten year older, and she's still friends to this day! Well... at least I think she is..."
Roxas gulped, Axel... his friend? Wasn't Axel meant to be like 'King of the School'?
"B-But... You're really popular... and I'm really... really... loserlar..." Roxas informed the boy opposite. Axel sighed.
"But you're cute! And everyone loves cute, right?" Axel smirked, making Roxas blush. Axel smirked, "See, how can you be a 'loser'?" Roxas fumbled with his fingers and looked down, staring at the bedding beneath him.
"I-It's... Crap! Kairi!! SorrygottarushleftKairiandIdon'tknowifshe'sokaycuzIdidn'ttellherIwasn'tgoingtobeatherhouse!!" Roxas rushed up, but Axel pulled him back down.
"Isn't she with Sora?" he asked, staring at Roxas, still gripping his shirt. Roxas gulped.
"Sora..." Roxas breathed, clenching his fists. "That..."
Axel smirked, tutting, "Don't swear, Roxas; it's not a very nice thing to do, is it now?" Roxas grumbled under his breath, "Now, Roxas, I need to ask you something, do you remember anything that happened last night?"
Roxas looked up, his mouth hanging slightly open, his eyes glazed over for a second, "No..." he said, almost as a whisper. "Why?" he replied, normally.
Axel shrugged, "No matter. Okay, I think I'll wake Rikku up, now..."
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Kairi had been really, really pissed off when she first learnt that it was illegal to have pet trolleys.
The red-headed girl used to have a trolley when she was little, a sweet thing with chipped metal bars, a toddler seat at the front and a logo on the handle claiming it was rightfully owned by the local supermarket.
She had found the trolley by the bus stop, in the alleyway that ran along behind it. It had been abandoned by its careless owner, and Kairi had tutted a little bit, rolled up the sleeves of her sleeveless outfit and trundled off with her new prize.
Reno had been a bit shocked when Kairi had arrived back on his doorstep with a trolley in tow – he'd only asked the damned girl to get him some milk and some cheerios, and she'd come back with a bloody trolley. And she'd bought him the wrong brand of milk and the cheerios were only 20 cents because their expiration date was March last year.
But, after getting over his initial bout of wide eyes and gaping fish mouth, he had christened the trolley (known as Georgina) and dubbed it his official second child. He had welcomed the object into the family with a warm heart, and had lovingly let Kairi keep in the garage in the garden.
And slowly but surely Sora and Kairi obtained a mutual interest, created a 'tradition' of sorts. And that tradition was that every Sunday they'd meet up on the big tall hill over yonder, Sora, Kairi with Georgina in tow, and they'd take it in turns to stand on the renegade trolley and push each other down the hill.
They'd known each other since Kindergarten, but it was really all thanks to Georgina that they had firmly cemented their friendship. After all, any psychologist knows that any child who's about six or seven years old can never resist the urge of scooting down hills on trolleys.
Kairi had a pet trolley, and Kairi instantly became 'cool' and she and Sora would spend many happy hours shoving each other down the hill on Georgina.
And then Kairi's house (or rather, her garage, as the burglars never got into the house) was burgled and, strangely enough, the only thing they took was Georgina.
Kairi wept and sobbed and beat her fists into her pillow.
She and Sora stood outside the local supermarket willing the security cameras to implode with psychic powers, so they could take a trolley and scamper away.
It didn't matter how many trolleys they took and how many trolleys they tried out – none of them worked as well as Georgina. They were too rickety, too rusty, too rebel. The wheels snapped off or got caught and once poor Sora went flying from his not-so-trusty steed, crashed into a bush and twisted his leg.
Once Georgina was gone, the magic seeped away, and Sora and Kairi grew up and learnt it was, in several countries including 'Engerland', considered a crime to steal trolleys and push them down hills. Kairi wouldn't have minded her and Sora doing some more bonding over trolleys, but Sora adamantly refused, saying it was babyish and he'd become unpopular and only stupid little kids played with trolleys. And anyway, he didn't see what was so fun about it anymore.
Kairi had sighed, because she remembered all the fun they'd used to have, and she hated the person who took Georgina, really hated them, because they'd taken all that six-year-old magic away. Sora grew older and sourer as each year passed, and Riku pushed him away from Kairi and attempted to build a wall around them. Sora wasn't her sweet little Sora anymore, whose face split apart with a wide smile every Sunday at the prospect of riding Georgina down a hill again. Sora had turned into a stranger. Lost in a sea of popularity. Sucked under into a wave of bright smiling faces. Of pretty girls with blonde hair and blue eyes, going out of their way every single day to straighten their hair and do their nails, or 'talons' as Kairi called them, and fix their outfits so looked as slutty as possible. Of football-playing boys who messed around in class and disrupted the lessons with really bad jokes that Kairi didn't find funny but everyone else did. Sora was going to become one of those people, one of the people who looked down on Kairi from afar and laughed, and pointed. Maybe if Kairi dyed her hair blonde she'd be accepted. Kairi'd never wanted to be accepted by anyone but Sora.
And Sora would only accept her as a 'person' if she drugged him with insanity pills and ice-cream. All the other times she was simply an object he could make out with until he got himself a better girlfriend.
Maybe Sora shouldn't change – he was Belle's son, so he was obviously perfect the way he was.
Maybe Kairi…? Maybe Kairi was the one who should change?
"Kairi? What are we gonna do then?" asked Sora, bouncing about her like a deranged little terrier. She had a sudden urge to throw a stick after him, just to see if he would fetch it. "What are we going to do to-day?"
Maybe Kairi would change, if it meant she could cling on to Sora.
She'd change, straight after one more childish game…
"Sora, do you remember Georgina?" she asked, with an odd little twinkle in her eye, and a rather demonic little twinkle at that.
"Uh-huh uh-huh!" nodded Sora, his head snapping up and down like a yo-yo, making Kairi feel a little bit sick as she watched it move up and down… And up and down… And up…
"Well, I'd like to introduce you to somebody…" said Kairi, walking beckoning Sora out of the back door, towards the blue-painted garage with about 451 specially fitted locks and bolts and chains wrapped around it. Pah, if people said Reno wasn't safety conscious (and ever so slightly over-the-top) Kairi could simply spit in their faces. Ever since the burgalars had broken into the garage, Reno had taken very drastic measures in ensuring nobody would ever break in again. This was a pretty good idea, although Reno had a nasty habit of loosing the 451 specially fitted keys that could open the 451 specially fitted locks. Usually they ended up in Kairi's sock drawer, or in the oven (they'd been in there last time).
Kairi held out her hand, and Sora passed her his lucky charm. His lucky charm was a key ring, and it was shaped like a key, a sweet little item.
But that key ring had more power than one could ever imagine – Kairi wasn't sure how, but it could open up any lock.
About two seconds later Sora's key ring had thoroughly raped all the locks on the garage door, making them all click open simultaneously. Kairi smiled and opened the door deftly, with a swift bang.
"Oh my GOD!" screamed Sora, his eyes wide and shiny with excitement, as he stared in wonder at the sight that befell him.
"She's called Heather. Or Hev, for short..."
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"That's right, darling, I'll pick you up in about half an hour. As long as the directions you gave me are correct!" A tinkly little laugh came from the other line. Rikku smiled.
"So, how's dad?" she asked, listening intently of news from her 'mother'. There was silence for a couple of moments, then a gulpy voice came back to the phone service.
"Well... he hasn't been seen after he was chasing that tent... Though, I'm sure he'll be fine. He always is. Silly old Herc..."
Rikku laughed, "I bet he is. Well, be seeing you in a bit, mom!"
She slowly pressed the button marked with a red phone, and laid quietly on Axel's bed. Axel slowly crept towards her, and carefully placed his fingers, gently on her tummy. She squirmed in reply.
He slowly started to tickle them across, causing her to shriek with laughter.
He laughed, and slithered back down to the base of the bed, where Roxas was busy studying the legs.
Axel poked Roxas.
Roxas stared at Axel in bewilderment.
This was before he poked Axel back, of course.
Axel chuckled, and poked Roxas.
Roxas did the same, minus the chuckling.
Rikku laughed, and flipped her phone out again, she then snapped a picture of Axel and Roxas having a poking match. Her lips curved into a laughing sort of smile. The sort you give when you've lost all energy to laugh, so you smile instead.
Except, Rikku hadn't lost all her energy; she was saving it for when they got to the new house.
She just couldn't wait!
Axel and Roxas eventually stopped after about five minutes of backbreaking (or fingerbreaking) poking. Rikku grinned, "Guys, we have 25 minutes of nothing to do. So... what's your favourite type of 'nothing'?"
Roxas shrugged. Axel pondered, his hand held to his chin in an 'I-be-thinking' kind of way. Rikku sighed and flopped back onto the bed.
This was exactly when Lexaeus burst through the door, screaming, "IT'SLILOANDSTITCHIKNEWIT!!"
And then another voice cried out from down the stairs, "IT'S NOT FUCKING LILO AND FUCKING STITCH, YOU IDIOT! IT WAS A BOOK!! I EVEN TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS 'DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE'!"
Axel, Roxas and Rikku '...'ed.
That was when they knew that the next 25 minutes they were going to have were going to be the worst they'd have for... Oh, shall we say 'quite-a-while'.
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To placate Lexaeus (and to stop him charging about the house screaming about Lilo and Stitch) Vexen had grounded him, confining him to Saix's room. Why he had sent him to Saix's room nobody knew, considering that Lexaeus already had a rather nice, fully-functioning room.
Well, the room wasn't really fully-functioning as last night Lexaeus had been messing around with his punch-bag and had managed to miss by miles. And, of course, he ended up with his arm stuck through eight inches of Styrofoam, bubble wrap, insulating material, water pipe and wooden PCB board.
To put this sentence in a way for a normal person to understand (a person who doesn't live in a run-down tin-can with about 1,000 other residents, most of whom have to sleep in cupboards due to lack of space) Lexaeus had managed to smash his fist through his bedroom wall.
And the bedroom had actually flooded, rotting the floorboards and carrying all the furniture out of the window in a deft tidal wave.
The point was, nobody cared any more. Odd things were a daily occurrence in their house. And if bizarre, out-of-this-world happenings take place every second of every day, you soon grow apathetic to them and learn to ignore them.
Why, if Xigbar met a fire-breathing lizard whilst he was eating his cornflakes (which he had done many-a-time, ever since Axel acquired Mushu the mad pyromaniac lizard) he would simply laugh and shrug a bit, and maybe try to shoot it. And if Cloud used Stigma soap (Vexen's new invention) to wash his hands after going to the potty and it made his skin turn green and fall off, then he simply turned the other cheek. And if Xaldin harpooned a chicken to the wall with one of his 'wind' lances, Tifa would merely tut, pull the chicken and the lance out of the wall, and maybe make a turkey instead.
The point is, so many weird things happened in their house that nobody cared any more.
And so nobody bothered to call for a plumber to fix Lexaeus's room, and just left it in the state it was in.
And they were all very happy to say Lexaeus's looked as good as it did before, hole or no hole, broken water pipe or no broken water paper, furniture or no furniture.
And so that, my children, was why Vexen had locked Lexaeus up in Saix's room, and that was why an awful lot of shouting could be heard drifting from upstairs.
"Maybe Lexaeus mistook Saix for his punch bag and hit a hole through him," suggested Roxas.
"Nah, I think they're just playing charades again," said Axel with a shrug, as he sat on the sofa, clicking his tongue, letting the screams of 'BITCH!' and 'IT'S MY TURN!' and 'FOR THE LOVE OF KINGDOM HEARTS!' wash over him like a 'pleasant' tidal wave.
Much like the tidal wave that cleared Lexaeus's room of furniture.
"Charades?" asked Rikku, her voice sounding a little uncertain. She'd only lived at the abode of the damned for two days whilst Meg sorted out their housing, and hadn't grown accustomed to Axel's family and their weird ways yet. "It sounds more like they're playing murder in the dark... Literally..."
"Yeah. They're a bit noisy. Pay no heed to them," said Axel, with a shrug.
"Xemnas!" cried Saix, sounding oddly like wounded animal. "Is dinner ready yet?!" It was Xemnas turn to cook dinner, which meant Tifa was on stand-by with some ready-made sandwiches, because nobody really wanted to eat nothing.
"Yes!" called Xemnas from the kitchen, adding the finishing touches to his nothing ala nothing.
"So I can finally end this charade?!"
"Yes!"
"How I've waited to hear that!"
"Yes!"
Rikku rolled her eyes.
"SAIX! I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE NOW! ARE YOU WINNIE THE POOH?!" Lexaeus shouted.
"NO! I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I'M THE GRIM REAPER! GOT IT?!"
"...No... Not really..."
Axel shrugged, feeling happy that the two misfits of the family could find such great fun in tormenting the living daylights out of each other. Ah, it was true friendship, at its highest.
"Come on, let's go to dinner... It's your last meal here," he said, throwing his arms akimbo, attempting to be dramatic. "It'll probably be peanut butter sandwiches or something, cause Xemnas is cooking and Xemnas can't cook so Tifa gives us sandwiches as a healthy alternative to nothing... But, er, that's okay, right?"
"Of course it's okay. Hercules can't cook either. I remember when he tried to make Christmas dinner..." said Rikku with a giggle, remembering her father hacking at the turkey with a chainsaw.
It would be fitting to say the family members weren't amused, but really most of them found it funny. And Aunt Maleficent came away with a new hat – a piece of renegade turkey.
"Happy memories..." Rikku finished, looking vaguely starry-eyed, as she walked into the kitchen.
Roxas, Axel and Rikku sat down in any random place around the table, fitting in amongst the rest of the family members who were already there.
Xemnas emerged from the kitchen, with several plates stacked up in his arms. He walked around the circular table, plunking down the empty plates, all the while telling everybody to 'eat up' and 'enjoy'. He finally put down the last blue-patterned plate and sat down at his place on the table, with a large smile on his face.
"Everybody, dig in! There's plenty more if anybody would like seconds!"
Tifa took this happy statement as her cue, as she scampered out from the kitchen with another plate in her hands, full of sandwiches. She distributed this cheap form of nutrition bunged between slices of white bread leisurely, and pretty soon all the plates were full and Xemnas looked rather displeased, and everybody was tucking in.
"For you see, darkness is the heart's true essence," Ansem randomly stated, as he prodded the specially made 'darkness' sarnie Tifa had given him.
"But, my old boy, nothingness is superior to darkness! It cannot die! It is everlasting!" retorted Xemnas, taking a thoughtful bite out of his nothingness sandwich – it was just two slices of nothing, with no filling, just how he liked it. How he managed to stay alive on this meagre diet, nobody knew. He just ... did...
"I think hearts are good," said Xehanort, prodding at his food.
"Stab..." said Xaldin, stabbing at his sandwich over and over again with his knife.
Rikku smiled at all the freaks assembled around the table, and felt a sudden warm rush of love for all of them, as she bit into her sandwich.
It was just such a cool house.
BRRRRIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!
"That'll be death," said Ansem darkly.
"That'll be your mother," smiled Tifa, choosing to ignore Ansem, stuffing the last bit of cheese sandwich in her mouth. "I'll just go get the door..."
"If she doesn't come back..." Ansem trailed off, as he bit into his darkness sandwich. "Call the Powerangers..."
"No, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They rule..." countered Xigbar.
"I am under the impression Tifa is not dead... Yet..." growled Xehanort, as Tifa walked back into the kitchen with a pretty, curvy woman in tow.
"But she has death with her," said Ansem darkly.
"That's my mother..." replied Roxas, a quizzical look on his face. He, unlike Rikku, was not thinking how cool the family was – he was thinking how weird they were...
"Your mother's death?" inquired Xigbar with a raised eyebrow.
"Stab stab," mumbled Xaldin happily, lost in the happy word of stabbing sandwiches with knives.
Tifa lent over to tell him to stop playing with his food, but as Xaldin looked pretty pissed off at life in general and had an eating implement of doom, she decided against it. He had, after all, glared up at her with a purple face, veins throbbing, spittle running down his chin, knife aloft. And if that wasn't a clue to keep away, the fact he was muttering 'die, bitch...' sure was.
Tifa started to wonder who the hell Xaldin was and why he was in her house in the first place, but she thought better than to ask him. If the nice maniac wanted to live in her house, then live in her house he could...
Whilst he had the knife, he was invincible...
But wait, hadn't Vexen melted all the knives earlier in a experiment? She was sure he had, because that was why Cloud had a bandage on his arm – because he had been using his sword to cut bread.
Meh, it was probably a plot hole of some sort...
Everything usually was.
Two girls in back of kitchen: She's on to us... Quick, run...
Tifa blinked, sure that two girls who bore resemblances to the fanfenfictioners 'Skitts' and 'Lamatikah'.
She shuddered, deciding she was going senile. Maybe living with Xaldin really did knock several points of your IQ...
Lamatikah: That's right, you believe that...
Skitts: Heh... BELIEVE IT GOOD!
"Anyway..." said Meg, a stretched smile on her face, taking in the scene of absolute horror that was spread out before her, like a gruesome picture. She was sure this is what hell was like... "I've got a kid in the back of the car, so can we go ... Quickly?"
Roxas was sure she only tacked the quickly on as soon as she got a clearer look at Xaldin, who had managed to harpoon his sandwich to his plate, and managed to harpoon is plate to the table.
Rikku finished her sandwich, and smiled at everybody. "Well, I guess we have to go..." She giggled in a weird little way when she looked at Axel. "Bye, Axel..."
The goodbyes and pleasantries were exchanged rather hurriedly, as Meg seemed hell-bent on leaving the dining room. And quickly. While they still had a chance at survival.
They wouldn't last long there...
Tifa smiled placidly, as the door slammed and the sound of a car driving away at 100 mph met her ears.
"Wait, where's Saïx?"
"And Lexaeus?"
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A/N: Hehe...