Epilogue

It's been a year since his death. I'm not really sure what to do with myself. I haven't taken off his ring and I barely leave his room. I sit on his bed most of the day, clinging to his plush, green pillow. It still faintly smells like him. If his pillow isn't enough to satisfy me, I sit in the large bathtub in his golden bathroom, reading something from his book collection. We had different tastes, but it made me feel closer to him when I read his favorite books. Other than his books, his closet was another place I drew comfort from. I could spend a whole day in there, holding his clothes, smelling him. A year ago I would make fun of how much green he wore but now I welcome the color. It's comforting to see all of his outfits, makes it easier to forget he's gone. My favorite place to be is the garden. That's also where I am the least, seeing as it's outside of his room. However, when I'm sitting on the grass, the smell of flowers in the air, the cool air tickling my skin, I have a better time coping with his death. It makes me actually believe that he's out there somewhere, watching over me.

Thor's been bothering me daily. Says he doesn't think I should be alone dealing with my grief. I don't believe him. I think he's saying that because he feels like I'm the only one that understands exactly what he's feeling. Either way, he's disappointed every time. I don't respond very well when he comes to see me. I sit there quietly as he goes on about the mortal Jane, all the while, trying to keep Sif out of my mind. How was she taking this? Then I remember that I don't care. Sif abandoned him in his final days, chosing Thor over him like so many others did. Sif contributed to his death. Thor doesn't understand how much I can't stand her anymore. But I think he's learned his lesson about letting her see me.

Sif had come into his room a few weeks after his death, asking if I was alright. She'd sat down on the edge of the bed, and offered her condolenses. I can still hear her saying she was sorry- sorry that he was gone for good. I'd snapped at her, claiming that she was lying. I'd told her that she'd never cared for him, always Thor. Sif left pretty quickly after that. Thor had brought her into the room a few more times, but she'd sit there in the corner. It was only five months ago when I saw her last. She'd come into the room with Fandral. This time, instead of staying behind silently, she decided to talk. "Sigyn." I remember her saying, "Please stop hiding. We miss out best friend. We want you back. I know you don't think so, but we lost Loki too." I remmeber my head snapped up to look at her. I hadn't heard anyone say his name since the week o f his death. "Loki wouldn't want this. Loki loved you more than anything and he'd want you spending time with the people who love you. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for Loki." I don't know what came over me, but seconds later I was snarling as I jumped off the bed and onto Sif. She had cried out in shock, but that didn't stop me. I had slammed her head and sholders on the ground a couple times.

"You can't say his name! Or talk about him. You don't know what he would've done!" I was shrreaking as I shook her by her shoulders.

Fandral was behind me immediately, pulling me off of Sif gently. I looked down at her, "Leave." She had gotten up quickly and left without saying another word.

Fandral had pulled me back over to the bed, holding me. "Come on Sigyn, you know she was trying to help. She was right, though. And wouldn't you want him to be moving forward if you were the one that had died?"

I looked right into Fandral's brown eyes, a lump forming in my throat. I tried to speak, but tears exploded from my eyes, and a choked sob escaped my lips. "It should have been me. How could he leave me here? How could he think I could live without him?" I fell against Fandral's chest, his arms tightening around me. "Why would he leave me here?" We stayed in that position for a while before my mind wandered. "Fandral?" My voice was hoarse from all my crying, my face warm from the tears.

"Yes, Sigyn?" His voice was warm and inviting.

"Why didn't I just stay with you? I could love you in time. You're sweet, charming, noble. If I had stayed with you, I wouldn't be heartbroken right now."

Fandral was silent for a second, "If you had stayed with me, you would not have been happy. There is no one that you will love as much as him. He was your first love. I am, and always will be, just a friend. Your bestest friend in all the realms, but just a friend. You would never love me."

Just like that, the first smile I'd had in six months arose. I slapped his arm, playfully. "I already love you." I pulled back and placed a kiss on his cheek, not sure what I would do if he weren't here.

"I know. I love you, too." He pulled me tighter against him, kissing my hair.

Ever since that moment, Fandral had been the only person to get a reaction from me. It was never as much as that day, but it was better than anyone else got.

The other members of The Warriors Three had come to visit me a few times, trying - and failing- to get me to talk to them. Frigga, Freya and Odin had all come to see me as well, but they had been even less successful than anyone else. Although I may never say it to their faces, I blamed Odin and Freya for the death of my fiancé. If Odin had been a better father, there would've been no jealousy, and Loki never would've gotten power hungry. If Freya had been a better mother, she never would've been there that night. Never would've stopped me from going after him. And a tiny part of my brain blamed myself. I could've done something. I could've stopped it from going as far as it had. But I didn't. And now Loki is gone for good.

That's it, darlings! Always is over. Eventually i will post the sequel Forever so look out for that! Thank you for reading, I hope you all enjoyed. (: