AUTHOR'S NOTE:

So starts the chapter every day and I really do love working in the Supernatural world again, so here we go. There is some Lana being Lana and Dean being the father type in here and some cuteness…but still angst.

WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes

ENJOY!

xxxx

Lily had been tossing and turning all night long, finally abandoning sleep and heading out into the kitchen part of the hotel room. Lana had gotten them the digs by flirting with the maître de, Dean disgruntled about the whole thing, especially since Lana had also made a bet with him and won, being awarded the bed while Dean slept on the couch. At least it was a really large, really nice room and she sighed as she started making the coffee, the sound of the percolation waking Dean up.

He groaned and then stretched, wanting to moan about how uncomfortable he was, but the couch wasn't that bad. What bothered him the most was that he had always thought in the back of his mind that Lana would always welcome him back, but he was delusional to think that, and he knew it. Dean had pushed her so hard and she just wanted to give up and do what normal women did and Dean had to admit that the thought of being just a dad was kind of a nice thought…but only if it was with Lana.

"Why did you tell me that Lana got back with Lance?" Dean asked as he leaned on the island counter and looked at Lily. "Had I known that—"

"—you wouldn't have let her come along and we need her," Lily finished for him, and then she shrugged. "I told Sam that Lana had been trying to move forward from you, I didn't say that she and Lance were exclusively dating."

Dean made a face. "What?"

"They just slept together a couple of times," Lily responded as she glanced at the coffee pot. "Like Marin, only with history."

"I should say so! He was her high school sweetheart!" Dean snapped angrily, sitting down on one of the stools and cursing under his breath. "I'm surprised he didn't just pop the question again and give her everything she wanted!"

"He tried," Lily admitted, turning to face Dean and being a little caught off guard by how angry he was. "Dean, are you actually upset by that?"

Dean waved it off after a pause. "Why would I be? I have no right to be. I don't own her. She's a grown woman. She can sleep with whomever she wants. She can marry whomever she wants. She can fall out of love with me as easily and as quickly as she wants."

Lily heard his teeth grinding a bit as he punctuated the last three words and just nodded at him, reaching over and resting her hand on his. She wanted him to know that she was there, and it also made her happy to know that Lana and Dean still loved each other…it was just that they didn't want to tell each other that or talk to each other about it. While that was fine for now, Lily was starting to think that six months apart just made it harder for them to face their problems…not easier.

"You and Lana need to talk to each other without yelling," Lily offered as she poured herself some coffee.

Dean nodded in agreement and then frowned. "Wait a minute…why aren't you peacefully sleeping in the arms of the jolly green giant?"

"Because Lana said some things that made me think," Lily admitted as she took a sip and made a face. "Too strong…"

"My girl is very anti-hunting these days," Dean nodded slowly. "Just remember to make your own decisions in the end, Munchkin."

Lily smiled at him as she added a little milk and sugar to her coffee. "Lana's not anti-hunting…she's anti-hunting without a future plan and you have to admit that you blew it where that was concerned. While I don't think she was entirely right about Sam quitting if I asked, at least with Sam I know that when we're both tired of this we'll 'retire' so to speak, pick a state and settle in. You basically shut down after she lost the baby and in a way…she lost you too."

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but shut it because she was right about that. When Lana lost the baby he assumed it was a sign that he wasn't allowed to have it. He buried himself in hunting when he wasn't comforting her and yet he hadn't let them have a conversation about the future either after that. It was too painful for him to think about potentially losing another baby to hunting but he'd never let Lana know that it was in the cards for the future.

Lana was right in assuming that he had also thought he had dodged a bullet because he wasn't ready to be a father, but that didn't make the loss any less painful. Dean shut off the way that he shut off with everything and even understanding that, Lana was in a lot of pain too and she had to leave in order to rebuild…but it wasn't closure. They both had royally screwed up the entire fallout period of the miscarriage and it just got worse and worse until she finally just left.

"Any leads?" Dean asked instead.

Lily smiled, used to Dean's way of changing subjects. "Just Bobby…"

"Bobby's a lead?" Dean asked raising his eyebrows. "Please don't tell me that he and Florence have been…"

"Intimate?" Lily teased, laughing when Dean nodded. "You really need to learn more about Lana's family than you do. Like have you even checked in on your own? There is a Winchester that doesn't hunt."

Dean swallowed down the pain at the mention of his youngest brother. "Adam's safe, that's all that matters."

"Yeah, and who do you have to thank for that?" Lily asked him gently.

xx

"If you hadn't startled me, I'd be fine!" Lana yelled at Dean, sitting down on the hood of the Impala and jerking her arm away from him, cringing as she did so.

Dean sighed and grabbed the medical kit she'd stashed in the trunk out. "I didn't mean to get you hurt and you know that, Lanni. I don't intentionally set out to harm you."

"I…I know," Lana managed, caught off guard by his use of his nickname for her.

"Good," Dean responded as he pulled out the gauze and started wiping off the blood. "This would go better if you took your shirt off."

"Not outside, I'm not!" Lana replied, red tinting her cheeks.

It wasn't even like Dean hadn't seen, but she was caught off guard by him and they went back to the hotel, Sam and Lily still off doing their part. Lana took her shirt off and sat on the edge of the bed she'd claimed, Dean getting a warm, wet wash cloth and sponging her off. She glanced at him as he tried hard not to focus on the black, lacy bra she was wearing, but he licked his lips and she caught it, flushing.

"I heard about Marin," Lana said to try and distract him because he wanted her still and she wanted him, but she was also still upset about everything he'd taken from her.

Dean paused and shook his head. "No…"

"No, what? No, we can't talk like human beings?" Lana asked him, annoyed he still wouldn't let her in. "It's fine, you know? You can get over me as easily and quickly as you want to."

"No, no—you said this was a business relationship," Dean said as he blew on her arm, Lana shivering from the cool air and from Dean blowing on her wound.

"Fine," Lana said, trying to take the bandage from him, sighing when he held it just out of her reach. "Dean, I can bandage myself up, I'm a big girl."

Dean shook his head as Lily and Sam came in. "This is my fault, remember? Let me own up to my mistakes."

"Why? I can pick up the pieces without you…" Lana shot at him.

They both made eye contact and she bit her bottom lip, realizing it had started to tremble, both of them hurt, but Sam cleared his throat. Lily smacked him for having done such a thing and interrupting the moment, and Lana and Dean just looked at the two and tried to ground themselves. Honestly, Lily had been right and they needed to talk to each other, but talking about their feelings was far too painful—especially for Dean.

"Robin here wasn't paying attention because he was trying to be all macho himself," Lana said with a shrug, making a face at the pain shooting through her arm.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You are so not Batman. She could use some painkillers though."

"Did you actually run into a demon?" Lily asked as she went to get some medicine out of Sam's duffle, Sam inspecting the wound.

"Yeah, but we didn't see it; it attacked and ran," Dean explained to them.

Lana took a deep breath. "Actually, it was a demon we've met before like Anar—"

"—Anarazel." Sam finished for her as he looked over the scratches.

Dean's eyes widened as he looked from the wound to Lana who was nodding at Sam, feeling panic rise up inside of him as Lily raised her eyebrows. The two times she'd been allowed to touch John's journal she'd read it cover to cover and yet the name of this demon wasn't ringing any immediate bells even though it seemed familiar to her, so they must have come across it before she joined them. All she knew was that suddenly everyone was panicking and she wanted to know what was going on.

"YOU'RE POISONED! THAT'S WHY IT HURTS SO MUCH!" Dean suddenly yelled at Lana, Lily letting the words sink in and frowning. "Isn't that bastard supposed to be guarding the different doors to Hell?"

Lily stepped in now. "Wait a minute, that's why the name sounds familiar! He's that demon that we met the first time that…I met your mother…"

The wheels started to turn in her head as she realized that that meant that Florence was all a part of this even though they hadn't found her yet. What they needed was Bobby and Lily wondered why Lana let Dean tend to her instead of just telling him right off the bat and while she had a really good feeling as to the why, Dean was now getting his coat on and making sure everything was packed up. He was panicking even though Lily remembered Sam saying something about Lana's demon blood keeping demonic poisons at bay longer than anyone else could withstand them.

"We're going to Bobby right now," Dean said angrily, shaking his head. "If your mother doesn't get back to you in the next 24 hours, then I'm calling her. She can't just abandon her own flesh and blood like this…"

Lily knew that this was personal to Dean because of what John had did to him and Sam, but he also loved Lana and she had been abandoned too. On top of that, it dawned on Lily and Sam as Lana bandaged up her arm and pulled her shirt on, that Dean was afraid of becoming his father and that was why it was hard to wraps his head around fatherhood. Still, Lana ended up voicing everything that they were all thinking in that moment and it broke Lily's heart to hear the tone of the words that came out of Lana's mouth.

"He was born to be a dad," Lana said gently as she grabbed her jacket, leaving Sam to grasp Lily's hand as they watched her go after Dean a moment, before grabbing their things and heading out with Dean and Lana to go and see Bobby.

Note: Until Monique gets her part of "Never Fall Away" done, you guys might have to settle with Adam and Kat in here, but it's Lily and Sam instead of Kate and Sam, which is fine. I'm also going to see about continuing "Hunting Demons" because I'm back on the Supernatural horse, so to speak. I'll try to work on the Brean stories as well…I'm going where the inspiration takes me. Feedback is always appreciated!