AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Happy Birthday to Me! This chapter has a lot of past in it and also a really nice Lana/Dean moment that foreshadows another story line I have yet to completely set up.

WARNINGS: Language, Blood, Sex, Violence, Dark Themes

ENJOY!

xxxx

There was nothing about losing her parents that was fair.

Lily Harte had lost both of them tragically—to the hands of Azazel—but somehow had been able to make it through. She could still see them though, lifeless and destroyed, and seeing Sam and Dean at the funeral while comforting, made her remember just what had leveled her life in the first place. Hunting was real…and these two young men went out for a living and got rid of everything bad and terrible in the world. What they couldn't do, however, was save everyone.

As she stood there in her black dress, setting a rose on each coffin, Lily felt the tears fall but she was determined to stay strong. She was determined not to let this get to her because her parents wouldn't want her to dwell: they would want her to live their lives. Still, she couldn't help but see Azazel across the way and she took off, trying to catch him and instead finding herself in a dark warehouse, a back to her that she knew all too well. Lana turned around and smiled at Lily, but her eyes were yellow now too and Lily raised the gun.

Dean stopped her, Lily yelling at him to let her pull the trigger, but apparently that yellow eyes when doing demon things? That was a family trait, and one that Lily couldn't make go away even if she tried. Why hadn't they told her? All this time she'd lived with the knowledge that demons killed her parents and now that demon's biological daughter was somehow here with her and what? Hunting demons?! That just seemed too good to be true.

It was in that moment, that suddenly Lana was covered in blood, and Lily let out a twisted scream that she didn't know she was even keeping in.

"You can't stop it," Lana told her shaking her head. "Something is coming…"

Lily woke up with a start, looking over at a sleeping Sam and shaking her head gently. She hadn't dreamt about her parents in a really long time, but with all of Lana's past being brought up, it made a lot of sense. Lana's father was the reason that Lily's parents were dead anyway and now Lana was learning that she was from Purgatory too and it must have been messing with Lily's mind. Shaking it off, Lily climbed out of bed in her pajama pants and t-shirt, heading into the bathroom to freshen up a little before she went down to get some coffee.

She could smell the coffee from a mile away, wondering who had gotten up to start it because when she made it into the kitchen, she hadn't even seen Lana or Dean. Then it all became clear when Lana entered with her hair pulled back into a ponytail, pajama pants and a tank top on. It didn't look like she had been sleeping much either, but Lana still gave Lily a smile. In fact Lily hadn't been far off base at all: Lana woke up the next morning feeling pretty good even though it had been a restless night, Dean sleeping soundly next to her.

Nightmares and doubts had kept her up all night and she wasn't the only one who was having nightmares—Dean had had them too. The two were growing used to operating on little sleep and some coffee and alcohol to keep them kind of sharp, which was a bad thing of course, but it was what they had. Now Lana was thinking more and more about her past, and it all brought her back to a conversation she had had with John and Florence at one point about everything that she was and everything that she thought that she knew…was it all a lie now?

"What I don't understand is why they can't be told…" Lana admitted slowly, wringing her hands. "I don't think that you really understand how much I hate lying to Dean. I hate lying to Sam and Lily too, don't get me wrong, but…this is something else entirely."

Florence took a deep breath. "John and I just don't think that it is in anyone's best interest for them to know anything about you being half demon."

"There are things that even I still don't understand," John told her shaking his head. "All I know is that Mary knew and Mary wanted you to have a chance. You were raised right—raised like a hunter."

"That may be true, but part of my life I was also handed over to adopted parents," Lana reminded them as she made a face. "I didn't even know that I was half demon until I was 13 and he came to me. I had inklings that Annie and I were very different, but not that my father was actually a demon!"

Florence nodded at that, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, and I understand just how frustrating that is to know that your father wasn't a normal man. The thing is though, Annie and Sam are one in the same. Just two normal kids that had the misfortune of being mixed up with your father."

"So why can't we tell Sam and Dean that?" Lana asked them exasperatedly. "Why?! THEY SHOULD KNOW!"

John and Florence both shushed her, Lana feeling like absolute crap because she didn't understand why it was that John was keeping so much from the boys and in turn asking her to. She was pretty certain that the more that they knew, the better, but at the same time when John started ranting about how terrible this life was and how he didn't want them in it any deeper, Lana could tell he just wanted what was best for them since he'd gotten them into this. He didn't see a way out, but he was taking the time out to protect them the best that he could and Florence was siding with him. Still, Lana had a really hard time after that…especially when Sam learned what it truly meant to be a psychic and then Lana had come clean about being half demon.

Azazel had wanted them all to know.

"Looks like you slept as well as I did," Lily said slowly, pouring herself some coffee.

Lana laughed a little bit. "Being wrapped in the arms of the man that you love isn't always enough, is it?"

"Sadly no," Lily agreed sipping the coffee. "Wow that's strong."

"I added too many grounds but at the same time, I kind of like it," Lana told her honestly. "I've been living off of coffee even more now than I had before."

"Because of seeing Dean in Hell?" Lily asked her gingerly.

Lana shrugged a little. "Not just that. I mean, on top of that, I've been dealing with a lot of things that John and Florence told me that I never let come up. I chose to be who I am and I chose Dean and you and Sam over everything and when I found out I was pregnant? Sometimes I still have a dream about what that kid would be like, you know?"

Lily nodded at Lana's words and walked over to her, wrapping her arms around her and keeping her close to her. Lana smiled and hugged Lily too, both of them putting their coffee cups on the counter and just embracing each other. They had missed each other and things didn't look like they were really letting up all that soon even though they had hoped that being together would have fixed things. In reality, things were just too messed up right now and neither of them really knew what to do about it.

"So what has you up?" Lana asked Lily, pulling back and looking the young woman in the eye. "You aren't down here wondering about my nightmares for no good reason."

Swallowing, Lily nodded. "I had a nightmare about my parents."

"I'm still so, so sorry that my father did that," Lana said sighing. "It's moments like this that I remember why it is that I try so hard not to be what he wanted. I don't want to be some abomination…I just want to be a girl who can fall in love with my hunter and maybe get married and have a kid and be done with it. There are only so many miscarriages a woman can go through before she doesn't ever want to try again.

"You'll be a mother, Lan," Lily told her with a smile. "Trust me on this. The Munchkin is always right."

"Well, at least in this instance," Dean said as he entered the room, smiling at Lana. "Just rolling out of bed and getting coffee, I see."

Lana blushed immediately, not because he was seeing her like this, but because he had obviously heard part of that conversation. The last thing that she wanted was for Dean to think that this meant that she had forgiven him, because she still wasn't sure what she wanted to do with all of this new information. There was a lot going on and she was pretty sure that all of these demons coming out of the woodworks gunning for her was no coincidence.

"Well, a hunter's job is never done," Lana replied with a shrug. "No doubt once I let Lucifer free, I pretty much sent out a beacon saying I was here to stay. Do you remember what Cas said about antichrists when we met up with Jesse?"

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah…he said you had to be stopped."

"Right, but then Zachariah stopped him and while now that I know his allegiance that scares the fuck out of me, it seems that I've been saved," Lana explained with a shrug. "I think that the angels higher up understand how powerful I could be and I think that on Heaven's side I could be an asset. So? I'm going to find Fecor and I'm going to destroy him. I'm also going to kill the devil…"

xx

Dean had taken Sam out to get some food and smiled a bit at his brother, who was talking about Lily so lovingly. Actually, Dean missed Lana so much and he wished that they were still engaged—Hell, he wished that they were married he missed her so bad. He had never actually and honestly seen himself married and/or settled down with kids, but then Lana had gotten pregnant the first time and he had entertained the idea…he had thought about how it would be kind of neat to be a dad.

Then the miscarriage had happened, Dean wishing that there was something for Lana he could do other than just sit there with her and then he found out she couldn't have kids and he felt broken. Sure, after some wearing him down he had expressed that, but it didn't matter anymore and they had to rebuild and things were fine and then she was pregnant again and they were engaged and then the accident and now Dean was feeling defeated. He had come back to her and found out that she had slept with Lance and that she was still made, and he just wanted her back.

"What's that look?" Sam asked Dean suddenly, realizing that his brother wasn't listening to him.

Dean shrugged a little bit. "That ring is burning a hole in my pocket."

"Wow," Sam managed, Dean nodding at him and them slipping into silence for a little bit. "Do you really think that now is the time to try and bring that up with her again?"

"There is no better time," Dean told him shaking his head. "The longer I let this go, the more likely she is to slip through my fingers again and honestly? I don't want to leave her."

Sam smiled at him, knowing that this kind of care and share was hard for Dean, but he nodded and then the two caught up a little bit and went back to Lana's. Lily was happy to see them, Lana having gone up to her room for a little bit, and so Dean nodded and went for a peace offering as Sam just chuckled and kissed Lily reverently. They were just so in love and so there for each other and Dean wanted that back. He was tired of sitting around feeling sorry for himself, especially when there was a chance that the world was going to end—even though he had some faith that Lana would stop it like she wanted to.

Lana wasn't sure exactly why she felt this way, but she was determined to come clean to Dean once and for all. They were trying to pin point a demon and a witch right now and Lana just wanted to put all of this behind her, so when Dean came into the room with a beer for her, she smiled a little bit and glanced at him as he sat down next to her on the end of the bed and took a swig from his own bottle. The two of them used to be so much better pieced together than this, and able to get through anything, but now she was about to ruin it yet again and it was possible that Dean would walk right out of her life.

"John knew about Sam being a psychic," Lana admitted without any segway at all. "Mom knew and she told him all about it…that's why he told you that you might have to kill Sam if you couldn't save him. He didn't know what it meant and Mom knew that Annie and Sam had the potential to lead demon armies. When John said he was worried about me, before he died, to you…I think that was because he had an inkling that she was more than a witch."

Dean nodded slowly, taking another swig. "I've figured as much."

"Yeah, but I knew before you guys did," Lana told him, both of them making eye contact. "Your father and my mother begged me not to tell you guys. John didn't want you getting any deeper, and Mom didn't want you to kill me."

"I've never once wanted to kill you," Dean responded shaking his head and looking at his hands. "Hell, you know why I didn't sleep with that bartender? She kissed me and the only person I wanted to be touching was you. I had just been told you were the product of a demon and a witch, and all I wanted was to be back in that stupid motel room, inside of you or wrapped around you or a combination of the two. I may hate that I went into this relationship not knowing everything right off of the bat, but I fell for you and I would never undo that."

Lana looked at him slowly. "Dean, I'm sorry."

"I don't want you to be sorry, Lanni," Dean said as he leaned in, breathing on her face, their eyes locked. "I want you to be with me."

He knew that she didn't know what to say, but he had also been snooping a little bit and he reached over to open up her top drawer near her bed. Lana was surprised at first when Dean pulled out the jewelry box with the engagement ring in it, but at the same time as her breath caught in her throat, she knew this was a long time coming. She and Dean couldn't walk away from each other no matter how hard they tried and when he popped the top of the box open she felt the tears coming.

No amount of anger at him could stop this, could it? Then again, Lana knew that being around him could hurt him and it was more important to protect him than to give into that feeling in her heart, right? No matter how mad at him she was, Lana was still in love with him and he was still in love with her, so it was possible that they could go back to the way things were before all of this. All of the hunting and the love and the trust weren't something to just throw away…these last almost five years couldn't be for nothing…

"If you put this back on your finger," Dean explained to her, watching her movements, "then at least we have a place to go from here. I want you in my future, Lanni—I want you in it in every way possible."

Lana nodded slowly and then smirked a little, making eye contact. "That's not the way to ask, Dean."

"You're right, that's not how you and I do this," Dean admitted as he remembered how she had said it first all those years ago.

In fact, Lana had been the first to propose and Dean hadn't said a word because he had been too stunned. He hadn't known what to do because his body was screaming at him to say 'yes', but his head said 'no'. In the end he had hurt his heart and almost lost Lana and so he told her to stay and let him catch up—he wasn't used to all of this serious relationship stuff. As the months wore on though after that, Dean warmed up to the idea and lost her to a demon, only to have her resurrected and back again. Then he'd proposed and things seemed fine and now he was doing it again…because she seemed to want him to, so he had to do it right.

"Marry me," Dean told Lana with a smile.

Note: I've had ideas for this story ever since I came up with it and so you guys just have to bare with me. I'm trying to get it there, writing some of the in between takes more time than I would like though. This was kind of fluffy, but has a point and angels and demons and a hunt in the next chapter. Feedback is always appreciated!