I woke up the next morning, to find the sun shining brightly through my window. The weather was the exact opposite of my mood, which would have suited a dark over-cast, even a storm. I got out of bed and looked into the mirror. I stared at my long dark hair and my exceptionally pale face, the way the skin under my eyes looked blue and how my eyes looked sunken with exhaustion.

I didn't look any different.

I was still the same Bella I was when I was with Edward last night. I was still the same after I betrayed him. How could that be? How could I feel different without looking different? I sighed in resignation and made my way into the shower.

Once I got out feeling a little bit better yet a little worse, I was glad to discover that Charlie had already left to work. I grabbed a slice of toast to go and drove to school, the memories from last night drifting through my mind all through the drive. The texture and the scent of skin, the way he touched me and made me shiver… As soon as I realised what I was doing I snapped out of it and scolded myself. What was I going to do?

I reached the parking lot to find that Edward wasn't standing there on the account of the weather being so fabulous and the fact that he had a bit of a sparkling problem. I walked into school feeling even miserable.

"Bella!" I heard Jessica call my name and I thought my day just got worse. She caught up with me and grasped my arm with excitement "Guess what? I just heard from Lauren that Mike…" She proceeded to recount her story while my mind drifted to more important thoughts of life and death, Jacob and Edward. I couldn't tell any of my 'normal' friends about what was going on. They'd either think I was crazy or…well, crazy. I felt the weight of all the secrets I was keeping get heavier as I realised I had one more to add to the list. Surely to abstain from telling the truth wasn't lying. Right? I sighed and zoned back to what Jessica was prattling about and pretended I cared. I was silently grateful for her self-absorption as we walked to class.

I skipped P.E telling Jessica I had a headache, which was partially true as the thoughts in my head were driving me crazy. I came home to find Edward lying on my bed reading my comics.

"Your love for Batman comics is poorly based" He said without looking up from the comic. The curtains were drawn in the room and the shadows across his face made him look even more serene and beautiful than in the light. I sighed as I dropped my school bag onto the ground and sat next to him on the bed.

"How so?"

"Well, for starters, he doesn't have any powers and all that brooding and pent up rage, well he seems a little too emotional for my taste."

"Him not having any powers makes him more human, easier to relate to" I said defending my favourite comic book hero.

"Hm. Maybe you're right. I still prefer Superman though" He flipped through the pages idly.

I scoffed at his preference "Superman is too powerful, there's nothing more to the man of steel but his powers. He's just a brute with a moral dilemma."

Edward kissed my shoulder, gave me one of his signature smiles and said "Hello" My heart flipped in my chest as an uncontrollable smile spread across my face.

"Hello to you too" I answered.

"How was school?"

"Don't even ask" I groaned.

"That bad?" He lifted his eyebrow while rubbing my back gently, easing the pressure there.

"Jessica wouldn't stop talking, Mike wouldn't stop sulking and Lauren was just plain bitchy." I sighed, "The only one who was any decent company at all was Angela, and she was in lip-lock with Ben most of the time."

"Sorry to hear that..."

"…and of course you weren't there so my day was bad from the get-go" I leaned back to rest my head on his shoulder staring at my ceiling. I quickly looked away as I remembered what last night's ceiling staring led to.

"How was your day?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant and cheerful while my heart hammered madly in my chest.

"Fine…" He looked at me curiously, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" I said too loudly, jumping off the bed and headed out of my room to the kitchen. Edward followed me silently assessing my obviously odd mood. I cursed the fact that he knew me so well, grabbed some cold pizza from the fridge and began nibbling at it.

"Bella…" He stared at me across the kitchen table.

"Edward…" I repeated in his morose tone and laughed, "Nothing's wrong, seriously, let it go"

Edward glared. "How can I let it go when I can tell you're lying to me?"

I crossed the room and wrapped my arms around him. I kissed him lightly and smiled, in what I hoped, was an honestly affectionate way.

"I'm just worried about Charlie, that's all." I said softly stroking the curve of his neck.

"Volturi?" His amber eyes stared intensively into mine.

"Yeah…"

"Don't worry I'll be there to protect you"

"That's not it… it's about becoming a vampire…and how it'll affect Charlie and Renée" I mumbled and looked up into his face, "I just don't know anymore"

"You changed your mind?" He said quietly. I pulled away from me to look out of the kitchen window. The light was slowly draining away from the sky, as if it was bleeding its life force. How appropriately ironic, I thought to myself and sighed.

"I don't know. I love you; I want to be with you forever but…"

"But…?" His voice sent shivers down my spine, except for the first time they didn't represent pleasure of any kind. Gone was the velvet, instead there was just ice.

"But what about my parents?" I whipped around, "what about having children one day? I never considered these things but now…"

"Now…?"

"Now I just don't know…" I finished pathetically.

Edwards gaze was remote - I couldn't read it. I felt fear bubble in me as I considered my next move.

"Are you mad?" I asked quietly. Edward flinched and wrapped his arms around me. I took in the scent of him and tried to calm down. Guilt and fear were waging war in my gut.

"I love you Bella, you know I want all those things for you and more…it's just this sudden change of heart…the way you were planning what to wear for you 'changing ceremony' one day and the next you're backing out…" He pulled back a fraction. "What changed your mind?"

As the silence surrounded us I was grateful for the fact that Edward could not hear my thoughts. He didn't deserve the pain my new secret would ultimately bring if I told him. No, I deserved the pain of guilt in my gut, the sting of memories in my mind.

"I don't know, last night I just started thinking."

"Well I'm happy you changed your mind. I've been trying to get you to for a while now" He said with an honest smile. The smile caused my heart to break as guilt washed over me anew. Wordlessly he took my hand and led me back upstairs to the dimly lit room. There, he closed the door softly and proceeded to undress me against the back of it, pulling down the strap of my top down to kiss my shoulder. I sighed as I tangled my fingers in his hair pulling him up to kiss me. The kiss was slow, agonisingly slow. It was a kiss of soft sighs and gently ebbing and flowing pleasure. I leapt up slightly and twisted my legs around his waist as he took us to the bed. Laying me down he pulled down my jeans kissing his way down my legs and up again causing me to give a low moan and open myself up to him. He ignored my obvious request and continued to kiss the inside of my thigh making me writhe with frustration.

He finally pushed my panties down, easing them slowly down my legs before kissing my mouth again. His hand snaked down to pinch softly at my nub and my mind blanked for the second time in 24 hours. I was losing control. I quickly opened my eyes to find Edwards deep amber ones staring at my face.

"My turn" I whispered. I hooked my leg around his waist and flipped us so that I was on top. I kissed him hard enjoying the feel of him pressing against my thigh. I worked down his neck, his chest – stopping to tease one nipple softly – and finally to his jeans which I pulled off him followed close behind by his boxers. I stroked his erection gently with my forefinger enjoying the reaction. I kissed the tip of him and licked away the drop of moisture there.

"Oh God, Bella!" He moaned his velvety voice drifting through my body, resonating in my womb. I climbed back up him and positioned my opening over his, dipping a little so that he could feel the heat of my sex over him. He groaned again, his eyes screwed shut from frustration and restraint. I lent over to kiss him softly on the lips, lowering a little to tease him.

"God I can't wait to come with you inside me" I whispered, my lips still on his. He groaned again and tried to push himself up but I held back. I knew he was strong enough to reverse our positions but I knew he wanted to feel the loss of control just as much as I wanted to feel powerful. I pulled back and sighed, feeling the wave of pleasure slide over me in a shiver of anticipation. I felt powerful as I felt my hair swing against my back, the way my breast were taught and ripe as fruit and the way my body was smooth and soft and pale as snow. I felt beautiful, alive, as I impaled myself on his cold cock in one swift motion, the sensation causing us both moan deep. I rocked lightly, swivelling my hips in soft rhythm. Every time the action would cause friction on my clitoris I thought I'd die. This was new. This was power. I smiled hungrily as I imagined Jacob fucking me, and the way Edward was always careful with me. I pulled myself off Edward only to slam down again, picking up speed, my hips pistoning. Jacob's face appeared behind my closed eyes as I moved my hand up my body caressing my breast, licking my fingers as if I was enjoying a feast. I ran another hand through my hair feeling the wave closer. Using Edwards's abdomen for leverage I pumped faster and faster, willing the climax to come. Jake face was there as the last wave crashed in supreme force. I pumped harder and harder trying to prolong the feeling for as long as possible as Edward rose up to meet me, adding an angle that touched a part of me that made the crashing wave even more powerful.

"Fuck me…" I heard myself whisper into his shoulder as our hips pumped crazily. Finally the breaking point came, my body shattering into a million pieces as the wave finally washed through me, the violence of the climax causing me to shake fiercely.

"Yes…ah…Jacob" I murmured to myself. I quivered in agonising pleasure, holding Edwards body to me as I pumped the last ounces of pleasure out of the system. I felt his body go rigid and the wetness between my legs. When it was over and the waves passed, I went limp, weak from the onslaught. My eyes drifting shut, my mind slipping out of consciousness I uttered the first words I thought of to the body beside mine "I love you" and fell asleep.

The next day was no better. The sun continued it's shining and people at school seemed cheerful about it. I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed again. I had woken up to find a letter from Edward on my table but no Edward himself.

Dear Bella,

My name is not Jacob.

When I read it my heart had tumbled miserably in my chest. How could I make such a fatally bad mistake? It had never happened before. When Edward and I were together the world ceased to exist and it was only the two of us and the love we shared. Now the situation had changed perversely; not only had I cheated on Edward – the love of my life – in the worst possible way, I had broken a promise. And for that, I would never be able to forgive myself.

I walked into the house and prayed Edward would be sitting in my room, ready to hear me plead forgiveness. I raced up the stairs and into my room to find that Edward was not there. Instead, Jake was sitting on my bed, looking very out of place against the pastel pallor of my room, looking at Edwards not. My lungs constricted as I stared at the beautiful man on my bed; the man I had already sacrificed so much for.

"What is this?" He asked, his voice sounding like the distant rumble of thunder.

"Nothing" I replied as I grabbed the note from his large hands. "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing" His tone was mocking but there was no smile in his eyes.

"Jake, leave. I don't need any more problems, ok?"

"What problems? What has the filthy bloodsucker done to you? What does this note mean?"

I turned away from the blitz of questions.

"Bella?"

"Just leave Jake. I can't handle this right now." I sighed as he spun me around to face him.

"What is up with the cryptic answers?! I'm just to understand what the hell it is you're talking about and what the hell is going on?"

"Nothing ok? Nothing that concerns you!" I shouted back. "Just stop messing around with my life like you have any say in what I do!"

"We used to be friends Bella, before all this happened. That is what friends do, we care."

"I love him, Jake" He winced. "And what happened last night is ruining my relationship with him!"

"What relationship? The one based on darkness, blood and death? Nice relationship." The sarcasm dripped off his voice and sizzled like acid on my heart.

"Don't."

"Don't what? Remind you of the fact that you're about to give your soul to the dark side? Literally."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Oh fuck you Bella. I understand perfectly. You feel guilty about what happened last night but don't go throwing that blame bullshit around like you have a paper round. Get over it."

"I hate you right now. You know how I feel about this!"

"Then why can't you take the criticisms if you don't have any doubts?"

"Because you put them there!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "Why can't you accept the fact that I love Edward and I want to be with him forever?"

"Because it's wrong and selfish not to mention utterly idiotic." His eyes flashed with anger.

"Fuck off Jake. Ok? Just go away I don't want to see you ever again."

"Fine. I'll do that."

"Fine." I replied with my arms crossed in anger.

"Good"

"Good!"

Before I knew it we leapt on each other in hunger and ferocity. My arms wrapped themselves around him as he deepened the kiss. I could feel his heart beat against my chest reminding me how alive he was and warm. Warm.

I pulled back, breathing hard from the kiss.

"You should go" I breathed.

"Yes, you should." A voice from behind me said. I whipped around to find Edward standing on my doorway looking like he was about the rip Jakes throat open. Jake gave a low growl and a shudder that I anticipated as trouble. There was no turning into a giant wolf in this house.

But before I could say anything Jake leaped out of the window and disappeared into the forest. So much for fighting over a girl.